Tonight I Can Write…

Water lapped at my ears.

A breeze arrived, late after a very hot day.

I looked up, allowed my pupils to dilate, and my eyes to open to the dim early night.

A bank of puffy clouds rose like mountains to my left, their cottony mass illuminated in other-worldly light.

Seeking the source of such brilliance, my eyes traveled to the right, and there, hidden behind a towering pine tree, was a half-moon, glowing the palest shade of lemon.

It turned another group of clouds a soft wintergreen color, a gloriously strange cross between lime and mint green, something that could never be duplicated, that must be enjoyed and looked upon at this one and only moment.

This was a summer night, filled with half a moon, and haunted by a fluttering bat.

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A Tom Daley Treat

Get ready for Tom Daley to make a big splash in just a few weeks, as he squares off in the summer Olympics in Rio. As a Speedo-clad tease to that Brazilian treat, here’s a fun photo-shoot that Mr. Daley recently did. It shows off a cheeky, humorous side that more Olympians need. Mr. Daley is big enough to have his own Category here, just like David Beckham, Ben Cohen, Tom Ford, and Madonna. That’s elite.

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Welcome to the Jungle

It’s amazing how soon nature can reclaim a space, no matter how small or protected. Case in point is our small side yard. It’s outside of the pool fence, and as such it’s outside of my mind, which means it’s had a few years of uninterrupted growth, fallen leaves, and foraging birds and rodents to spread nasty seeds. When I looked out my window and saw a wall of green, I knew it was well past the time for action. We were seriously heading quickly into ‘Grey Gardens’ territory, and though I had the wardrobe and the eccentricities, I was not quite ready to throw in the house and surrounding landscape.

Doused in deet, clothed in long sleeves with pants tucked into my socks, and armed with rubber-coated gloves and pruning shears, I began hacking away at the wilderness. This was awful work. When a mixture of sweat and insect-repellent wasn’t pouring into my eyes, swarms of unaffected insects dove into my ears. Pesky bittersweet vines and Virginia creeper had overtaken much of the open space, while saplings of maple and oak had swelled into trees too big for one man to pull out with his own hands. Thorny things were hidden here too, ready to scrape and scratch and tear away at any exposed skin – and near the back of the property was a thorn-addled vine that was and remains the worst monster I’d ever encountered. There were thorns even on the tips and undersides of its leaves. Not many plants inspire fear in me – I find even the carnivorous ones rather charming – but this thorny terror was another story. I could easily see a nightmare inspired by such a devilish creature.

It took me three full days, thirty-seven large lawn bags, countless callouses, two cans of bug spray and two changes of clothing a day to wrangle the wilderness, but it is now done. I’ve got the war-wounds to prove it.

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Here Comes the Color of the Sun

Tricky color, yellow.

Doesn’t work on everyone.

In the 50’s and 60’s we all painted our kitchens in the shade of sunshine, certain it would lift our morning spirits.

Turns out that yellow, at least according to some inane psychological studies, actually irritates people more than making them happy.

Oopsie daisy.

Me, I have come around to it, especially in these, the sunny summer months.

And I’m not sure I buy the whole color-determines-mood bit either.

In this outfit, I felt happy as hell.

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Body Issue = Naked Issue

Here at ALANILAGAN.com, we love ESPN for one thing and one thing only: the Body Issue of their magazine. Artistically (and gratuitously) displaying athletes in naked poses, it’s probably the biggest issue of their year, and has enough cachet to have gotten the likes of Michael Phelps and Rob Gronkowski totally starkers. In this post, we see some shots of Hunk of the Day Conor McGregor in his altogether – further evidence of the power of the Body. He joins the nude ranks of Evan Lysacek, Giancarlo Stanton, Matt Harvey, Oguchi Onyewu, Greg LouganisBryce Harper, and Kevin Love. Welcome to the Celebrity Skin Jungle.

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Rose Flare

Though June is really the main month for roses, some spill over into July, especially as we had such a late start of spring. These pink beauties were peering over the wrought-iron fence of a typical Boston brownstone, nodding to themselves and to all passers-by in fine and fair fashion.

I was very happy to see them.

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Summer Monday Recap

Mid-July approaches – the height of summer and all its glory – and I’m going to indulge in the season, hence this lazy-ass Monday morning recap. (Though that’s every Monday I guess.) Here we go…

The Olympic Hunk brigade continued its stride toward Rio with Connor Jaeger and Matthew Josa.

This used to be my playground.

A pair of Hunks who brought the wood: Bryant Wood and Jordan Woods.

Adam Lambert got all shirtless & sexy.

Poetry & partial nudity.

A swimmer and a batter: Nathan Adrian and Jake Arietta.

Heaven in the pool.

A hollow bit of heaven.

One last stand

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Breaking the Fast at the Bristol

Lobster Eggs Benedict at the Four Seasons’ Bristol Lounge. And a glass of orange juice.

Across the street, the Boston Public Garden.

The best of all possible worlds.

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With the Spring, a Thaw, and Salvation

The Delusional Grandeur Tour is in travel status this weekend, and we are encroaching on the penultimate chapter in the Tour Book: Spring Thaw Salvation. In preparation and anticipation of that, here is a look back at how far we’ve come on this Last Stand of a Rock Star. In many ways, this tour was over before it even began, but that lesson is yet to come. For now, a glimpse of the spring amidst a glimpse at the past…

THE DELUSIONAL GRANDEUR TOUR: LAST STAND OF A ROCK STAR

01)  Intro/Curtain – Part One, Part Two, Part Three

02)  Sunset Pool – Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five

03)  On The Road Hotel – Part One, Part Two, Part Three

04)  Rock Star Addict – Part One, Part Two, Part Three

05)  Animal Demons – Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five

06)  Steam Punk Birdcage – Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four

07) Red Riding Wood - Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five

08) Winter Top Hat - Part One, Part Two

09) Warrior Retribution - Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight

10) Cologne Glamour Fashion - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

11) Samsara Healing Water – Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

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A Haunting, Empty Vault

Maybe it was the fall of Day, or the ghostly-hollow aspect of the building, but the sight of this empty shell of a church was both disturbing and beautiful. I’m accustomed to seeing backless facades, but not the side-view too, which made it feel somehow even emptier. At the descent of dusk, it cast an eerie pallor to its surroundings.

Seeing the sky through the stone is a thrill. Places can haunt just as much as people. If you’ve ever gone back to your childhood home after it’s been changed and rearranged, you know the feeling. It’s unsettling and potentially upsetting. Not unlike an abandoned place of worship at night.

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Mighty Olympic Hunks

It may seem strange to recap the parade of Olympic hunks we’ve been cataloguing here before the 2016 Olympic Games even begin, but that’s how far of ahead of myself I sometimes get. It’s doubtful anyone will mind that much – as the Speedo show has always been greeted with frenzied appreciation. Here we look back at some photos of the Olympians who have doffed shirts and trousers in the name of their sexy sport.

First up is one of the greatest the sport of swimming has ever known: Michael Phelps. He’s been naked here before, but not yet a Hunk of the Day (How?! Why?!) This August he heads to Rio to see if more record-breaking gold awaits his fins.

Second is another Hunk of the pool: Ryan Lochte. A little flashier, a little funnier, and a whole lot more interesting on the superficial level, Mr. Lochte provides a little sass and sauciness to the solemn occasion of the Olympics.

Relative newcomer Steele Johnson has the name of a porn star, and the talent and body of an Olympic diver. Grace and strength, precision and agility – he personifies the best elements of a champion competitor. More of him to come, I’m sure.

Chris Mears may give him a run for his money-maker, however, especially if judging from his Instagram feed. And his naked butt. And the shirtless shot below.

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Wings on the Water

Fly, my pretties, fly…

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Perfect Pool Pulchritude

The pull of the pool, in the midst of a spell of hot July days, is a siren that must always be heeded. Slipping into the water, whether morning, noon, or night, is a summer tradition that instantly quells a worried mind. Signifier of healing, of elusive passage, of comfort and succor, the pool is what quenches a variety of thirsts.

When you want calm and tranquility, you can simply float right beneath its surface.

When you want strenuous activity, you can kick and paddle your way across its distance.

When you want to lazily lounge, you can glide along on a flotation device, languidly reading a book.

When you want to have fun, you can jump or tumble in dizzying underwater somersaults.

In other words, the pool is capable of soothing any desire.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have somewhere to be.

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Afternoon Tea With Tom Ford

The iced tea is lemon verbena.

The sunglasses are Tom Ford.

Taken together, they are the stuff of magical moments.

We need a pause like that in the day.

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Ode on a Grecian Urn

It was, rather expectedly, in a poetry class where I first read this epic work of Keats. Now, when all things are going Greek this summer, it fits in well with some statuesque posing.

Ode On A Grecian Urn

By John Keats

Thou still unravish’d bride of quietness,

Thou foster-child of silence and slow time,

Sylvan historian, who canst thus express

A flowery tale more sweetly than our rhyme:

What leaf-fring’d legend haunts about thy shape

Of deities or mortals, or of both,

In Tempe or the dales of Arcady?

What men or gods are these? What maidens loth?

What mad pursuit? What struggle to escape?

What pipes and timbrels? What wild ecstasy?

 

Heard melodies are sweet, but those unheard

Are sweeter; therefore, ye soft pipes, play on;

Not to the sensual ear, but, more endear’d,

Pipe to the spirit ditties of no tone:

Fair youth, beneath the trees, thou canst not leave

Thy song, nor ever can those trees be bare;

Bold Lover, never, never canst thou kiss,

Though winning near the goal yet, do not grieve;

She cannot fade, though thou hast not thy bliss,

For ever wilt thou love, and she be fair!

 

Ah, happy, happy boughs! that cannot shed

Your leaves, nor ever bid the Spring adieu;

And, happy melodist, unwearied,

For ever piping songs for ever new;

More happy love! more happy, happy love!

For ever warm and still to be enjoy’d,

For ever panting, and for ever young;

All breathing human passion far above,

That leaves a heart high-sorrowful and cloy’d,

A burning forehead, and a parching tongue.

 

Who are these coming to the sacrifice?

To what green altar, O mysterious priest,

Lead’st thou that heifer lowing at the skies,

And all her silken flanks with garlands drest?

What little town by river or sea shore,

Or mountain-built with peaceful citadel,

Is emptied of this folk, this pious morn?

And, little town, thy streets for evermore

Will silent be; and not a soul to tell

Why thou art desolate, can e’er return.

 

O Attic shape! Fair attitude! with brede

Of marble men and maidens overwrought,

With forest branches and the trodden weed;

Thou, silent form, dost tease us out of thought

As doth eternity: Cold Pastoral!

When old age shall this generation waste,

Thou shalt remain, in midst of other woe

Than ours, a friend to man, to whom thou say’st,

“Beauty is truth, truth beauty, that is all

Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.”

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