A Recap Within a Recap

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The labyrinth of previous posts on this blog runs long, wide and deep. Go to town with that metaphor until you’re raw and sore, but it’s the truth. Here’s a look back at two previous Memorial Day posts, which are all recaps given that the holiday is traditionally celebrated on a Monday – our look-back day.

In 2013 a sexy spread of Matthew Camp enticed readers to click away.

Last year, Ben Cohen and David Beckham tag-teamed the post – the former bulging through his briefs, the latter chilling in his sweats.

Stay tuned for this year’s Ogunquit recap, coming up as soon as I rest from this vacation.

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A Memorial Recap

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Let the unofficial start of the summer season begin! This is the real ‘most wonderful time of the year’ for me, as it signals the sweetest weather is about to arrive, and the gardens are still relatively fresh and green. It’s a time of promise and hope and all that has yet to come – the time of possibility. Anticipation will always trump execution in my warped mind. That said, a dose of recent nostalgia with this look back at the previous week’s events will make this vacation Monday an easy one.

Kicking up the heat with his cooking acumen, Chef Michael Chernow was named Hunk of the Day earlier in the week.

Yet another record-breaking week for Madonna. Bow down, bow down, bow down.

Meet the newest bulge of Armani underwear: Fabio Mancini.

Get a load of this dick-wad.

Digg this: Hunk of the Day Taye Diggs.

John Irving, Master of Words.

A recommendation from a straight guy: Hunk of the Day Toby Kebbell.

A pink pansy (and I don’t mean me.)

Exposed my naked ass, and I did it with a smile.

Where we were.

Talk about your hot nuts, this is Hunk of the Day Morris Chestnut.

Within the realm of Hunkdom, a look at some of the finest.

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In the Realm of Hunkdom

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Given the regularity of posts here, some hunks may have escaped your notice. Others may be worth a second look. Either way, this is a brief encapsulation of several noteworthy gentlemen who have previously graced this site with their shirtless presence, and a few who have given us some naked presents as well.

The feature pic, as should always be the case, is a double shirtless gift of Zac Efron. He indulges most of us by regularly doffing his shirt, and recently gave the illusion of doffing everything else. (Somehow, nude-hued briefs work just as well on him.)

Nick Youngquest is another perennial favorite here, and I’m not sure why he hasn’t achieved such wide-spread acclaim as Ben Cohen or David Beckham. (I may be crossing my balls here, sportswise at least, so perhaps that’s the reason.) At any rate, he’s been here a number of notable times, including this magnificent view of his naked ass, these nude shots of his ass, and this partially-obscured view of his front.

Below are a pair of Hunks relatively new to the site. Charlie King has put his tush on display in his Hunk of the Day feature, and he does it again here, along with Fabio Mancini, who fills out his Armani briefs impeccably.

One of our most-recent Hunks is Morris Chestnut, the smoldering actor whose intense gaze defined the word ‘sultry.’

Finally, we close this Hunk-retrospective out with the ever-classy Benedict Cumberbatch, who made some of us into squealing Cumberbitches.

 

 

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A Lap Dance by Hedda Lettuce

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Certain drag queens are institutions. Indelibly intertwined with an image and a name, in person they can feel like some Hollywood superstar come to life. Some are known by a single name – and some by a single verdant color. Hedda Lettuce unfurls her leafy brand of sass this weekend at Maine Street in Ogunquit, and there’s nothing more entertaining than seeing a queen at the top of her game.

She first came to most of our attention with a scene-stealing turn on ‘Sex and the City,’ and an epic Madonna-intro at the MTV Music Awards. More exciting to me was the time she once graciously posed for a photo while hawking tickets for her show on a rare sultry day in Provincetown. She was witty and fun and completely professional, and one got the sense that this was serious business for her. Such dedication to a role and a craft was admirable.

All of that was but a flirty prelude for my encounter with the green goddess last night, in which she dedicated a song to me, ‘Fuck Me Baby’ (based on my crossed-arms stance) and topped it off with a dirty grind in the form of a lap-dance. As thrilling as that was, it was the content and seamless flow of the evening that most impressed.

A self-described “old-school” drag queen, her Bette Davis references were caught by some of us, while those who have been woefully untouched by Ms. Davis could appreciate the modern-day no-holds-barred raunchiness of other topical moments. The recent happy events in Ireland made a timely backdrop to a marriage-equality anthem, and though she professed to be in ragged voice due to the allergies of New England, she sounded in fine form. The drag queen who can actually sing seems to be a rare and dying breed, and those who do it are all the more astounding for it.

She pokes fun at herself good-naturedly throughout the evening, claiming she’s made it this far on her cheekbones and lighting alone, but no one who has lasted this long and can still command an entire room for an hour lacks of talent in any way. Finishing with a rousing ‘Jesus Take the Wheel’ she closes out her first night of a triumphant return to Ogunquit in rollicking fashion.

{Hedda Luttuce performs again on Sunday night, 8 PM, May 24 at Maine Street. Be brave and sit up front, and if you’re lucky you may get your own lap dance.}

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Hunk of the Day: Morris Chestnut

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Morris Chestnut is one of those actors that most people recognize because of the many films he’s done, but for some reason or another hasn’t become a household name. Perhaps this Hunk of the Day honor will do something to change that, because with this kind of body, he deserves greater recognition. He first hit the scene in 1991, as a cast member of ‘Boyz in the Hood.’ Subsequently he’s appeared in numerous films, including ‘Under Siege 2′, ‘G.I. Jane’, ‘The Best Man’, ‘The Brothers’ and ‘Breakin’ All the Rules.’ Now he’s a Hunk of the Day, the greatest résumé builder of all.

 

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In the Maine

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This marks our 15th year visiting Ogunquit, Maine but I still feel the same excitement and thrill in going as I did on that very first trip. On that memorable weekend, it was late summer and the town was switching into slower fall gear, but it was as enchanting as ever. The next year we switched over to kicking it off in spring for Memorial Day weekend, and then closing it out in fall over Columbus Day weekend. Of course, it is this weekend which is my favorite. For all the loveliness of fall, there will always be something better about spring. The whole of summer lies await ahead of us. There is more magic in anticipation than recollection.

That said, a few looks back never hurt anyone, and there have been many at Maine over the years.

There is a peace and contentment that settles within instants of finding my way back to Ogunquit.

When it rains, there are still enchantments to be found along the wet shore.

There is even some male nudity on display if you know where to look and when.

Even when I’m not there, I keep a little bit of it in me.

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Trickster, My Ass

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“We said earlier that the trickster simultaneously represents the animal and the divine in humanity. In societies like those of the Western world in which sexuality is given high priority and organized religion depreciated, entry into no other sphere of activity than sex is so much desired. No other channel for desire offers so many people the gratifying illusion of power. They seem to sense that though its ecstasies sex might let them breach the limits of the body to touch immortality. Power seems even to many of the powerless to be within reach here.

Of course the search for power tends to corrupt no matter where it is found; and for every sexual relationship that empowers its partners, delivering them to ecstasy, there are others dogged by misery. Far from being a romantic, lyric or even comfortable figure, the trickster invariably presents us with an awkward uncomfortable personality as well as a persuasive and amusing prankster and sexual polymorph.” ~ John Izod

“Significantly, he cannot be tied down: he is a shape shifter, appearing at one moment in one form, only to transmute and make his next entrance in quite another. Such versatility matches his function in running counter to the orientation of the individual’s conscious mind.” – John Izod

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A Pansy of Pink

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The smiling pucker of a pansy is sometimes enough to lift the darkest day. Even bowed down by a shower of raindrops, their little faces are still there, ready to face the sun when it deigns to show itself again. While I love seeing these beauties in pots and in yards in the early part of the season, I’ve never grown or planted them myself. A few years of Johnny-jump-ups were all I could muster.

That distant cousin of the pansy, with the much-smaller blossoms and tenacious reseeding tendency, makes a charming-enough companion in the garden, would pop up in unexpected and not-always-welcome places. They always kept me on my toes, and I was usually too guilty to pick them up and move them somewhere more appropriate of aesthetically-pleasing, choosing instead to let them fill the edges of borders or poke through a cement crack. Their unpredictability was a lesson in accommodation, and I knew it was a lesson I needed to learn.

Now, I admire the pansies and the Johnny-jump-ups from a distance. Our summers are simply too long and hot for them to last much beyond June or July, and when you need something to see you through August and September, these just don’t cut it. This gardener doesn’t have time for that.

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Hunk of the Day: Toby Kebbell

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While it’s probably the most popular feature of this site, the Hunk of the Day posts can get a little dull for me. There are always new hunks popping up on the internet, and sooner or later Zac Efron will take his shirt off again, and David Beckham will disrobe to his underwear, and Ben Cohen will have another calendar out, but I’m continually seeking out something new and different and slightly obscure. That’s when I turn to you. Today’s Hunk was a suggestion, by a straight guy no less, but a straight guy with impeccable taste. This is Toby Kebbell, born Tobias Alistair Patrick Kebbell (and, personally, I would have held onto the original.)

If you have any other Hunks you’d like to see up here, let me know.

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Master of Words

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John Irving is one of my favorite authors. He consistently delivers spellbinding prose, and every novel he crafts manages to conjure the aching resilience and hope of the human spirit with wildly varying settings and characters. The one constant is a gentle examination of the brutalities we inflict on one another, and the notion that no matter how impossible it may seem, we always have the capacity to change, to become someone new, someone better.

While I’ll probably always favor ‘A Prayer for Owen Meany’ over everything else (you never forget your first time), I was also quite enamored of ‘In One Person.’ Perhaps upon perusing the following quotes, you may be tempted to give it a try. I’d certainly encourage it.

(You shouldn’t guess about someone’s past; if you don’t see any evidence of it, a person’s past remains unknown to you.) ~ John Irving

That moment when you are tired of being treated like a child – tired of adolescence, too – that suddenly opening but quickly closing passage, when you irreversibly want to grow up, is a dangerous time. In a future novel (an early one), I would write: “Ambition robs you of your childhood. The moment you want to become an adult – in any way – something in your childhood dies.” ~ John Irving

“You can’t force children to become something they’re not. You can’t simply tell a boy not to play with dolls.” ~ John Irving

“What’s the point of having a love of your life, if he’s not always with you?” ~ John Irving

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Hunk of the Day: Taye Diggs

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A rare fully-clothed Hunk of the Day, Taye Diggs doesn’t need to take it all off to prove his Hunkdom. Instead, he smolders with his eyes, seduces with his lips, and cuts such a debonair figure that the parts left to the imagination can’t help but be practically perfect. There is something to be said for the mysteries that come cloaked in a shirt and tie (especially a bow-tie). Mr. Diggs is slated to take over the vaunted heels of ‘Hedwig and the Angry Inch’ when Darren Criss finishes his run, and after hearing him croon in ‘Rent’ and ‘Wicked’ the visitors to the Belasco are in for a treat.

Oh all right, you twisted my arm. Off with his shirt!

(PS – Thanks to Sue for the request!)

 

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Have You See This Truck?

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If you know the owner of this blue truck, please inform him that he is a total dick-wad/douche-bag. I had just pulled into the Price Chopper parking lot and was about to start walking towards the entrance when this truck recklessly pulled into the first handicapped spot. Aside from the fact that he almost hit me while I was on foot, he also did not have a handicapped tag hanger in his truck, nor any indication of such on the license plate. Instead, he hopped out of the driver’s seat in a pair of ratty flip lops, and jauntily strode into the store.

I almost said something, but he was sporting an almost-mullet, and I’m scared that anyone with a mullet doesn’t have the sense to deal with people in a reasonable manner. Instead, I watched, figuring maybe he was just in a massive hurry and needed to get something quickly. He grabbed a push cart and began his shopping, at which point I let it go.

As I came out after getting my few items, he was apparently still shopping, so the quick pick-up theory was out the window. I took these pics of his offending (and offensive) dilapidated vehicle, when an older woman hobbled out of her car, which did have a handicapped hanger in it. She saw me taking photos and asked if it was because he didn’t have a hanger. I said yes. She clutched the cart to keep herself upright and said she’d vouch for me if I needed her to. I smiled – I wasn’t filing a report or anything, I told her, I was just going to broadcast it to thousands of people. Public shaming usually goes further than a paltry Price Chopper police report.

“Oh, I don’t know how that Twitter and stuff works, but I’ll vouch for you if you need it,” she repeated. I said it wasn’t necessary, and bade her good day. She pushed her cart past the ugly truck and into the store.

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Hunk of the Day: Fabio Mancini

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The latest face, and more importantly body, for Emporio Armani, is Hunk of the Day Fabio Mancini. Keeping the brand squarely in the midst of his own Italian heritage, Armani has chosen Mr. Mancini for the latest underwear promotional shots. It would be difficult to find someone to argue with that selection, and thanks to Mr. Mancini, Armani is once again giving Calvin Klein a run for his brief-stuffed money.

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Madonna: The Undisputed Record-Breaker

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It went largely unnoticed by people who weren’t Madonna fans, but the lady scored her 45th Dance Club #1 hit with ‘Ghosttown‘ last week. The second single off of her recent ‘Rebel Heart’ album, it’s a nifty record-breaker, one that gives her the most #1 hits on any single chart ever. EVER. Beating everyone.

Elvis Presley.

The Beatles.

Michael Jackson.

Mariah Carey.

You name the artist, and Madonna has them beat.

It’s a record that shouldn’t be diminished, but that seems to be what the world wants to do to Madonna of late, and once again unsuccessfully. It’s happened before, and it will likely happen again. That’s the way things go. She’s probably less bothered by it than me, and that’s testament to what makes her tick. Let them eat cake.

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Hunk of the Day: Michael Chernow

My Ink: Michael Chernow

Co-owner of The Meatball Shop, chef and creative guru Michael Chernow is the Hunk of the Day. Culinary cuteness with a side of ink should please a number of readers, and any guy that knows his way around the kitchen is a hero in my book.

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