The stage has already been set for this silly bit of glamorous make-believe. You know, satin sheets and luxuries so fine… As the wind howls and the sun goes to sleep, it’s the perfect time to hunker down beside a fireplace, pull on a blanket, watch some TV and lazily thumb through the new White Flower Farm catalog. Dreaming of verdant gardens with bountiful blooms, warm breezes perfumed with rose and lavender, I drape first my robe then myself over the sofa and tufted table.

A contented sigh signals the weekend at hand.

When the world reveals its darker side, and everything seems to be falling apart, I snuggle in closer to the home life Andy and I have crafted together. And just because it’s only the two of us doesn’t mean one of us can’t be decked out in the ruffled finery of a satin robe.

These silly comforts, these sources of coziness in the winter – they conspire to warm the heart and the home. 

Winter Water.

L’Eau d’Hiver.

Shades of gray.

Pools of light.

Silken snow and snowy silk.

This room, with a corner fireplace, a new sofa, and soothingly cool color scheme is where we shall spend much of the winter. It’s below-ground, for the most part, and though some basements are dark and dank, ours is filled with light and warmth. Many years ago a tree fell through the roof of our house, knocking out electricity and leaving a hole in the attic, where cold and ice and squirrels could enter. The basement was the only source of heat, thanks to the fireplace. To this day, it remains a refuge from the winter.

For the past few months I’ve been working on a superficial renovation of sorts. A new color palette of aqua and turquoise has replaced the outdated golden yellow of the walls. A new couch in a subtle sea color, with a chaise extension, adds a modern mid-century focal point to the area, and a tufted coffee-table lends a bit of classical richness. (It’s probably my favorite part of the room right now.)

The book-heavy and tchotchke-laden shelves have been revamped with a collection of silver and mirrored items, giving an added dimension of sparkle and light, as does a circular wall mirror surrounded in mosaic mother-of-pearl accents. The flaming red elephant curtains have been replaced by a silvery damask velvet in a soft shade of seafoam. Accent pillows in white Mongolian fur and scalloped cream provide more whimsical lightness, as does a modern white chair for the office area.

A softer fragrance is needed for such a soft room, where refined yet simple elegance reigns. I’ve chosen the quiet ~ L’Eau d’Hiver ~ an exquisite offering from Jean Claude Ellena. It whispers and stays close to the skin; an extremely intimate affair that delicately mirrors the way the space draws one in, demanding a closer examination, begging to be touched. If scents had physical textures, this would be silk and velvet and gossamer wings.

I wanted it to feel like a cross between Auntie Mame’s first entrance-room make-over – the one with the blue velvet couch, brilliant chandelier, and silvers and gray – incorporating some 20’s art deco mirrors, a bit of 50’s simplicity and elegance, and her next-to-last room makeover in which she serves her ‘Flaming Mame’ cocktail and hat pickled rattlesnake hors d’oeuvre. Both are airy and a little eccentric, with baubles that sparkle, and a color scheme that is big on light blues and turquoise and silvers and grays.

It is the perfect backdrop to a scene of elegant cocktail gatherings, fasten-your-seatbelts party intrigue, and lounging in feathery robes and flowing silken garments, where glamorous movie stars languidly recline while serving bon-bons of wit on shiny silver-tongued platters.

That’s what I’m telling myself anyway, and we’re all entitled to a little delusional vanity in the winter months. Flights of fancy, even if they’re only in your head, were never more welcome than now.

Welcome to the shortest month of the year, and may it feel as much too. Hot (or cold) on the heels of a Super Blue Blood Moon, we enter the final full month of winter. We’re on the track, baby, but we’ve got a way to go. Before getting started, however, let’s take a quick look-see back at the shortest months that came before. 

• February 2010 ~ Only two entries remain from this year. That may be for the best. 
• February 2011 ~ Sooner or Later… and not much else mattered. 
• February 2012 ~ David Beckham, Madonna, and a 20-year secret. 
• February 2013 ~ Hunks and narcissism. 
• February 2014 ~ Male models, naked men, and Tom Ford. 
• February 2015 ~ Fashion, flowers, food and then some. 
• February 2016 ~ More flowers, more hunks, and a brother’s birthday. 
• February 2017 ~ Ice ice, baby 

This was my utterly ridiculous Grammys-watching outfit, inspired by a little Madonna lace and rosaries, and Tom Ford shades. I’m too old to know half the performers these days, but it’s fun to watch the red carpet. On with the last week before I start planning my Oscars ensemble…

The week started by saying goodbye: the loss of a dear family friend.

Comfort is a cardinal.

A family project. 

The moon brings out a little madness in all of us.

A new fragrance to revive the winter. 

A Valentine kiss from the Beekman Boys. 

A hunk that spans the Winter and Summer Olympics: Pita Taufatofua. 

Cocktail hour with Lawrence Welk.

My hints on mastering your own social media. 

Hints of spring found at the market. 

Hunks of the Day included Eric Radford, Tim Chase, John Coughlin, and Nick Cunningham. 

Certain people in certain circles have given me more credit than I probably deserve as far as social media mastery goes. However, after doing this for a number of years, and amassing a relatively decent following on various social media sites, it may be true that I have a few pointers to help some people out. This won’t offer an instant, magical solution for gaining more followers on FaceBook or Tweeter or Instagram, but it offers some insight into what makes social media enjoyable for me, and how I inadvertently built a sizable group of online friends. Most of this is geared toward Twitter and Instagram; FaceBook has been boring me to tears lately.

One of the main things to remember is that your social media presence is only going to be as good as what you put into it. Many people get discouraged early on because they expect an immediate multitude of followers, and when nothing happens they feel isolated and uninspired. If you’re looking to be made happy or whole by social media, don’t even bother beginning. This is not the place for finding self-worth.

It is, however, a place to engage and interact, and those are the two most important things you can do on social media. The name says it all: social. This is not the time to be a wallflower. Follow people- those you admire, those who make you laugh, and all those whom you actually know. Retweet, share, and comment on those posts that you enjoy. Be somewhat selective, but be interested and engaged in everything when you’re online.

Be patient. Followers don’t follow overnight. Build a rapport with people you know. Reveal your obsessions and cull interaction from those who share the same interests and passions. Tweet to your idols – not incessantly, just when it’s important. Be genuine and authentic. You can’t send the same ‘personal’ tweet out to a hundred different people and expect it to mean something.

Be judicious and careful with hash-tagging. We live in a #HashtagWorld, filled with #HashtagHappy posts. The trick is to find a balance. (These can also act as talismans to ward off trolls. When my Twitter account was being deluged by racist and homophobic Trumpsters, I started using #ImpeachTrump and they largely went away. Russian bots seem to know that engaging with that hash-tag (or #TrumpRussia for example) is actually giving it more power by replying, and that will only make Voldemort Trump angry).

Use photos to your advantage. Get creative. Stand out. Re-think standard poses and angles and cropping options. Indulge in the occasional avant-garde foray. Use good lighting and don’t ever make a duck face. (Duck faces are for people who go on to abuse their Uber drivers with entitled cry-baby behavior, only to have it filmed and lose their jobs over it later.) Bonus points if you avoid posing in a mirror (that’s amateur hour). Exposing a selfie stick is also cheesy as Patti Labelle’s Over the Rainbow Mac-and-Cheese, and she uses a ton of Velveeta.

I’m not going to lie: shirtless and skin-heavy shots rack up the likes and follows because sex sells. That’s how some otherwise bland people (guilty) get a lot of followers (people are thirsty!) but there’s got to be something to keep them following you.

Post consistently. You need not be completely consistent in content, as a little variation keeps things interesting, but if you are serious about gaining followers and carving a presence online, you’ve got to be present. A few well-thought-out tweets or photos a day are ample. If you disappear for weeks at a time without explanation, people will leave. That’s the nature of the beast. The online world is more fickle than any other. An instant is a lifetime, and no one waits very long no matter how good your output might be. That said, the other extreme – too much posting – can be just as repellent. There are some who ascribe to the adage that one can never post too much. I disagree, at least if you want to build a quality social circle. A little bit of absence makes the heart grow fonder. There’s no sure-fire calculation on the balance – it’s whatever works best for you.

Proofread what you are posting. Twice. I can’t tell you the number of otherwise witty and wonderful posts I’ve not retweeted or shared due to a spelling or grammatical error. It takes all the power out of whatever the message might have been. Serious comments look stupid. Funny responses lose their humor. Touching words sound silly. All because you were to quick or lazy too sea that your posting had errors. See what I peen? The degradation of such things matters. Push against it and rise above. People will take you more seriously.

That said, don’t take any of this too seriously. Social media should be fun and enjoyable. This is not where you should get your hard news, even if it offers a platform for sharing such items. This is not where you should air personal and private family grievances. This is not where you should engage in couples counseling for the world to see. Don’t get me wrong, we will watch and you will get noticed, but we will also take screenshots and so will the person with whom you are arguing.

Finally, don’t forget that your real life exists off the phone and computer. A simple hug in person is worth more than a billion followers who ‘like’ something you posted. All the online love in the world cannot compare to the real thing, and once you realize that, you’ve already discovered the biggest secret to social media. Oh, and don’t forget to follow @alanilagan on Twitter and Instagram. It will be the best thing you ever did. (Did I mention to ignore all hype and hoopla by shameless bloggers?)

Those busy Beekman Boys are giving us a treat for Valentine’s Day by releasing several beautiful cards for you to print out for anyone who deserves a little extra love in next month’s high holiday. Check out their page of cards here, and pick your favorite to print out.

It’s rare to get something for nothing these days, but Brent and Josh seem to know that giving gleans its own rewards. There is beauty in that, and a generosity that we need now more than ever. Thanks boys!

Outside the bedroom, a flash of red alighted in the Wolf’s Eye dogwood tree. In its upward-reaching branches, an old bird’s nest from the summer was still intact, nestled snugly in the crux of the three wooden spokes. Two cardinals perched in the mottled architectural flourishes of the little tree. The pair of them – one vibrant and crimson, the other more muted in softer hues of mauve and gray – were beautiful against the dull shades of winter. Both were a sight to behold. They chirped to one another while the brighter of the two fussed with the old nest. I didn’t think birds re-used the nests of other birds, but what do I know? It makes sense, I guess, particularly if one has proven able to withstand the whipping winds of this blustery year and hasn’t been ripped to the ground. The cardinals didn’t seem to be looking to move in completely, just visiting and inspecting.

Of course, that’s what Andy and I were doing when we ended up getting our home almost 15 years ago. I hope these birds are half as lucky.