Naked & Sunny Counter-programming

On a day following the first snowfall of the season, I am filled with enough anti-snow sentiment to reach way back in the archives for some sunny pre-skinny-dipping photos. Here is the pool in all its splendor, backed by some blooming black-eye-susans and filtered by the leaves of a cherry tree. It is the bare personification of summer, and I miss it.

This is far too early to have snow, especially since the colorful leaves are being ripped from their branches and everything is bent over beneath the weight of the frozen stuff. A ten-foot-tall clump of fountain grass has been felled – especially tragic as that is the main point of interest in the winter garden. All of our dogwoods are groaning and touching the ground with their burdened branches. The hydrangeas are a weeping mess.

Worse than all of this? The first appearance of Christmas commercials. Best Buy you are so over.

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A Fall Poem by Mary Oliver

Lines Written in the Days of Growing Darkness

Every year we have been
witness to it: how the
world descends
into a rich mash, in order that
it may resume.
And therefore
who would cry out

to the petals on the ground
to stay,
knowing, as we must,
how the vivacity of what was is married

to the vitality of what will be?
I don’t say
it’s easy, but
what else will do

if the love one claims to have for the world
be true?
So let us go on

though the sun be swinging east,
and the ponds be cold and black,
and the sweets of the year be doomed.

— Mary Oliver

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A Late Departure, Well Worth It

Kira looked at her train schedule and we decided to head out on a last-minute gift-shopping run to Downtown Crossing. I wanted to go to Cambridge but she was not sure there would be enough time, so we rather clumsily darted into a few lackluster stores before postponing the first train and having a lunch of noodles. It’s that time of the year when our stomachs turn to soups and noodle dishes, mostly in Chinatown. Kira remembers one of the first jaunts like this, though it has gone from my memory: we supposedly sat on a second floor restaurant overlooking Chinatown, sipping soup after a day of work at John Hancock. We’ve spent years searching for the restaurant and haven’t yet been able to find it. Personally, I’m not sure it even happened because I never forget things like that, but I’ll let Kira hold onto her memory.

On this day, the steaming bowls of ramen perfectly complement the flood of sun spilling out over the cobblestones and fallen leaves. Fall in Boston is magical, and though my mind is already on the ride home, I stop myself from thinking too far ahead and focus on the moment at hand. It’s not wise to take such sunshine for granted when it’s about to go away for a while.

We pick up a few cookies and hop back on the T. Kira needs to pick up her bags before meeting her Mom. I’m already packed, but it would be unwise to leave at this early afternoon hour. That’s just a traffic jam already in process. With a hug and a promise to keep in better contact, Kira leaves me alone in the sun-filled condo. That frightening but reassuring silence in the aftermath of a friend’s departure is always a little sad, but I’ll never regret a weekend in Boston with a good friend.

Walking into the bedroom, I survey the way the light lifts the space. It is too pretty to leave, so I settle onto the bed and let my legs stretch out. In the quiet, there is contentment. The peace will depart as soon as I enter the maelstrom of bumper to bumper traffic on the Mass Turnpike, but I will take his moment with me.

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A Light Delay

Waking to a frigid room, I pulled the heavy robe around me, and an extra blanket around my shoulders. (Some pictures are better left unseen.) I put on a pot of tea and groggily greeted the morning. The sun had returned, but did little for the chilly start of the day. I remembered how one of my Literature professors at Brandeis had explained that she always waited for that really cold first snap of fall, the way it jolted you into awareness of the season. This could be that morning.

A Sunday of departure has the potential to go a few ways. There’s the early start to everything, in which I could beat traffic and be well on the way home before the stroke of eight or nine. Then there’s the late morning drive, when most people are starting to hit the road, and the first crush of traffic pushes you forward. The early afternoon departure is tricky traffic-wise, and this runs until about four or five. For the most part, I try to avoid leaving between noon and five as there is always backed-up traffic issues then. I didn’t manage that this time, but it was worth it.

We set up a make-do breakfast, with leftover fruit from the night before, along with some toasted bagels and crackers. A berry Echinacea tea warded off the cold, even if I’m not a big fan of the berry teas. The sun slowly began to warm the outside, and I opened the blinds to the bedroom. Light poured in, and I decided to forego an early departure. You can’t put a price on that kind of light. It fills the soul.

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From Water to Wind

 Before we batten down the hatches and close the windows for the season, I like to give the Boston condo a good airing-out. I’d have burned some sage if we had any, but this would have to do for now as the day was too perfect to wait (a windy but not too terribly cold day is ideal). Upon opening the front and back windows, a strong breeze blew through the entire place. Curtains billowed in the moving air, and candles fluttered as the day slowly turned darker. It was dramatic weather, fitting for fall and change. Kira and I sat at the table as our wine breathed, taking a breather ourselves after a morning of hustling and bustling. We tentatively planned some upcoming dates for a belated birthday celebration and our annual holiday stroll, and there was something very cozy about the condo as the wind rushed through it – the juxtaposition of the cool air and the candles, the outside and the inside, the recent memory of summer and the future planning for winter.

The wind was strong, and we moved into the bedroom to watch a bit of ‘Practical Magic’ for seasonal appropriateness. Kira was chilled, so we pulled out the heavy winter blanket and lit a few more candles. Turning the seasonal page from white to red wine, we sipped to warm our stomachs, while Nicole Kidman and Sandra Bullock got all witchy. Soon it was time for dinner, but neither of us was in the mood to walk very far. Flirting with the wind from the safe haven of the condo was one thing; whoring through it unprotected was quite another. I proposed heading to the corner market and coming up with a simple puttanesca, along with some cheese and fruit.

We hurried along the darkened streets, over wet leaves and fallen branches as the wind whipped around us. Apples and pears and crackers made for an opening salvo, while pasta, anchovies, garlic, olives, roasted red peppers and fresh parsley would suffice for the puttanesca. Back at the condo, the kitchen warmed to the boiling pasta water and simmering sauce. Kira was amazed at my culinary abilities. Twenty years ago I could barely make toast, now here I was winging a simple (albeit rough) pasta dish. Like its namesake, a puttanesca is very forgiving.

We sat down to eat as the wind continued to howl. It would go like that all night, and I lowered the windows until they were almost completely closed. Food and friendship mingled with darkness and candlelight. It’s always cozy in the condo during the colder months.

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Still Coming Down Hard

The roving bands of rain continued into Saturday morning. We woke to a new pot of tea, and by the time we were ready to head into the city for some shopping there was a brighter break in the sky. A fine mist was falling, which is sometimes more annoying than an outright rain, and we paused for some French sustenance from Café Madeleine. Eating our croissants as we walked, ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s’-style, we made a wet flaky mess of our shirts, but it was worth it.

A bit of early holiday shopping along Newbury turned into some possible party garb for myself (the usual derailment when trying to buy for other people at the onset of holiday season) but mostly we just did a lot of looking, and some deftly-timed ducking into stores to get out of the rain. The mist had morphed into something decidedly more solid and heavy. Careful what you wish for…

We stopped in Zara to find a raincoat for Kira, but they had the usual line snaking through the entire store and so we nixed the idea of even looking. (That store consistently has the worst register service of any place I’ve been – every single time I walk in there are lines and broken registers that can’t take credit cards and all sorts of nonsense. They’ve lost hundreds of dollars of business from me alone based on this and there is no end in sight to such mismanagement. Sorry, rant finished.)

A few birthday cards were procured from Newbury Comics, but the tricky holiday gift for my brother was not to be found. At Sephora, I sampled the new Tom Ford Private Blend ‘Ombre Leather 16’, and tried again to determine if I liked it as much as the original ‘Tuscan Leather’ but walked away still undecided. A spritz of Atelier’s ‘Oud Saphir’ was equally enticing. Too many choices… all of them delicious. And then it was time for lunch.

It had been some time since either Kira or myself had had a proper burger, so we sought out a pub in the midst and mayhem of tourists and college kids. The rain was picking up and places were starting to fill. Settling on the Met Back Bay, we found two open spaces at the downstairs bar and set up camp while the downpour began in earnest. It was a cozy scene, made more-so by the bonhomie of the brunchers (lots of Bloody Marys were being made in front of us) and the martini in my hand. There is no better place to ride out a rainstorm than a bar. The burger was good too, and we once again found ourselves stalling in the hope that the rain would pass or at least slow to a manageable drizzle. It did, but in its place was a front of cooler air, and brutal winds. Still, I’ll take wind over rain any day. As the afternoon ripened, that wish was delivered in gusts and gales that shook the city. We rushed into the South End, found a bottle of Malbec, and hurried back to the condo.

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A Very Wet Entry

The drive from Albany to Boston can sometimes be quite perilous. Going through the elevated Berkshires always raises the risk of running into weather conditions that don’t affect either end of the trip, which can make for a dicey situation. On this day, the rain began falling halfway along the Massachusetts Turnpike. This was no light rain either – torrents of the stuff was pouring out of the sky like a million ‘Fantasia’ buckets were being spilled by an evil sorcerer. The threat of hydroplaning is very real when sheets of water are sliding all around the road. (I once totaled a car in a heavy rain situation, so I don’t take water lightly.)

Though the going was slower than usual (and I was on a tight schedule to meet with yet another bathroom contractor) I arrived to a break in the Boston sky and managed to make it to the condo in dry fashion. A load of laundry (since there are always towels to wash) and a repotting of a ZZ plant (since it was bursting out of its original container) occupied my time until the long-awaited reunion with Kira took place that evening. We hadn’t seen each other since April, and the summer apart had begun to leave me slightly concerned, but when we headed out into the rain it was as if no time had passed.

It was coming down hard again, and we ducked into the nearby House of Siam rather than make the trek to Chinatown. (It’s soup and noodle season!) As we sat at a table looking out onto Columbus, the rain increased. It was a steady downpour, leaving everyone soaked. Half of the people didn’t even bother with umbrellas – there really was no point. We took our time eating, hoping for a reprieve. Though there wasn’t far to go, a few blocks were enough to soak through the shoes. Eventually, with no end to the rain in sight, we had to make our way back, beneath feeble umbrellas and over puddles that had turned into ponds. As we climbed the steps to the condo, my feet were wet, my sleeves were dripping, and the brown bags holding our take-away containers were mush. None of it mattered though. I was back with my dear friend, and we made a pot of hot tea as Billie Holiday sang ‘Stormy Weather’ in the background. 

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The Party Season Commences with a Boo(jolais)

This Friday the official party season kicks off with the Boo-jolais Wine Celebration as put on by the Alliance for Positive Health. As I mentioned before, this is one of my favorite parties of the year, and with the encouraged costume dress code, I can’t wait to see what everybody else is wearing. The completely revamped celebration takes place at the Washington Avenue Armory, and it looks to be a spooktacular delight.

Just like the Beaujolais Nouveau Wine Celebration, there will be wine tastings, food samplings from over 20 restaurants & chefs, a photo booth, and a large silent auction. We’re also very excited to announce that we’ll have live drag performances starting at 7 p.m. with Countess Sondra Rox and Grande Duchess Ivanna leading the show. We’re also going to have psychic and tarot card readings to incorporate the Halloween theme…and of course, costumes are encouraged!

The BOO-jolais Wine Celebration


Friday, October 28th – 6 to 9 PM

Location: Washington Avenue Armory in Albany

{Be sure to check their updates on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or on their Event Page.}

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Hot & Humid (& Everything Else) Recap

In a week where we went back up into the 80’s, it was perhaps slightly more difficult to get into the fall groove, but suddenly there were gourds and fires and fall cider as temperatures plunged into the 50’s and rain and wind descended in crazed torrents. On with the usual Monday morning recap in the midst of all the meteorological turmoil.

Autumn in all its glory.

Good Gourd!

The sexy & shirtless Joe Jonas.

New England in the fall.

A pond in the Cape.

The return of Josie’s Fall Gathering.

A gratuitous Scott Eastwood post.

A fall ride home.

Happy Birthday to my husband.

Remembering Ogunquit, and all that we ate.

Madonna + Sex + Erotica.

Nakedness inspired by Madonna. (Net Booty.)

Back to where it all began… in Boston.

A rather sparse selection of Hunks of the Day included Brad Campbell, Tyler Posey & Vanilla Ice.

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Net (Booty) Worth

Wrap it in a net and pretend it’s lace.

Squeeze it into mesh and wait for grace.

Spin a 90’s tune from Ace of Base.

This is your rhyme song.

Super-Squishy power blanket dry hump.

Sunshine band diamond-back pump-rump.

Come hither go yon trouser-lump.

Everything about this is wrong.

Drop it like it’s hot.

See my booty get down.

Baby got back.

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A Hunt in Boston

My father remembers it better than I do. Apparently I had proposed the idea of finding the family a place in Boston early on in my junior year of college, and the day after he gave the ok to begin the search I was in the city setting up visits to potentials properties. The year was 1995, and the South End was on the verge of taking off. (If you want decent real estate investments, go where the gays are. I wanted to be there for other reasons, but I digress…)

On that fall day, it had rained in the morning, but by the time I got all the way from Brandeis into the South End, the sun was out, the air was warm and humid, and the only remnants of the storm were the wet leaves beneath my feet. On a cobblestone driveway, yellow leaves clung like mushroom caps, muddy and veiny and emitting the tell-tale scent of fall ~ life and decay in one mossy aroma.

My real estate agent was a cute guy with whom I was already illogically smitten, and he brought me along to our first property ~ a small condo just across the street from the real estate office. As tempting as it would have been to live there in such close proximity to the man who would surely wear my wedding ring one day, I held my enthusiasm in check. Despite the charming wall of exposed brick, and the enchanting way the afternoon sun drifted in through the windows, it was just a tad too tiny.

For our second property, we looked at a large, albeit divided, floor-through deep in the South End. Far from any T station (too far, really) what it lacked in location it made up for in space. The problem was that the space was cut into so many smaller rooms that it felt disjointed and cumbersome, even if it was a steal for all the square footage. The distance to any transportation would prove problematic too, and I was reminded of the most important real estate adage: location, location, location.

The third try was the charm that brought us to Braddock Park. Great location ~ right between Copley and the South End ~ decent space (at least for one person, maybe two if they really loved each other) ~ and a steal considering that in the time that we’ve had it it’s probably tripled in value. That cemented the deal, and before November ended we had closed on the condo. I never tire of reliving those months.

The last time I was in Boston, the conditions mirrored those I just described ~ the warm, humid air of a fall day where the sun wins out over the season, the leaves collecting between the cobblestones, and the scent of life and death so gloriously entwined that one doesn’t exist without the other. I thought back to the young man who was searching for love as much as he was searching for a home, and I smiled at his determination.

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I’m Gonna Get You Off

Our ‘Erotica’ anniversary week celebration continues with this extra-cheeky post. (If I’m going to talk the talk, I might as well walk the walk.) Taken a couple of weeks ago at the Standard High Line (where nudity and exhibitionism are strongly encouraged) these shots go well with the daring derriere-flaunting show-off nature of the ‘Erotica’ period. I’ll copy a few lyrics from the extra-special version that appeared in the ‘Sex’ book and remix CD.

MY NAME IS DITA, I’LL BE YOUR MISTRESS TONIGHT

I’LL BE YOUR LOVED ONE, DARLING, TURN OUT THE LIGHT

I’LL BE YOUR SORCERESS, YOUR HEART’S MAGICIAN

I’M NOT A WITCH, I’M A LOVE TECHNICIAN.

I’LL BE YOUR GUIDING LIGHT IN YOUR DARKEST HOUR

I’M GONNA CHANGE YOUR LIFE, I’M LIKE A POISON FLOWER

WE COULD USE THE CAGE, I’VE GOT A LOT OF ROPE

I’M NOT FULL OF RAGE, I’M FULL OF HOPE

THIS IS NOT A CRIME, AND YOU’RE NOT ON TRIAL

BEND OVER BABY, I’M GONNA MAKE YOU SMILE.

LIGHT THE CANDLES ‘TIL THEY’RE NICE AND SOFT

AND WHEN THEY START TO DRIP I’M GONNA GET YOU OFF…

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Coming Out Of My Sexual Shell

I’ll teach you how to fuck,” she promised both in song and on paper.

It was October 1992, and Madonna was staking her sexual claim across the globe. Who was I to resist? At the time, my fandom was at its earliest height, and ever since then she has barely been able to do a wrong. Back then, I needed her for something more important than entertainment or amusement: I needed her to survive. In addition, I needed her to break through my shyness and social inhibition, and to help me bust out of the constraints of a conservative Catholic upbringing. All of those issues would end up killing me if I continued in my misguided beliefs, and deep down I knew that.

I was ripe for a sexual awakening, even if I didn’t know whether that would be at the hands of a man or woman, and as Madonna’s ‘Erotica’ album was casting its spell and putting me in a trance, I felt the stirrings of desire and carnal longing. As candles burned and fall winds blew, I conjured my own brew of prayers and wishes, and the hope that the secrets of sex would soon reveal themselves.

It was still such a mystery to me: slightly dangerous, slightly comical, slightly repellent, but supremely enticing. My body reacted to the sight of shirtless men while my mind thrilled to the notion of vulnerability – and as strange as it sounds the male always seemed more vulnerable than the female in my warped sense of of the world. We wore our sex on the outside, unprotected and swinging in the air, easily prone to attack or seduction.

A song like ‘Erotica’ burned red-hot and brazenly; a cut like ‘Rain‘ tripped the lights blue and fantastic. The entire ‘Erotica’ album was a rainbow of aural textures and sextures, each a little story in itself – tales of seduction and carnality as much as love and self-exploration. Coupled with the ‘Sex’ book, it was a project of sexual expression that played with the topic – sometimes coyly, sometimes overtly – and in such an extreme self-display of naked un-inhibition that it culminated in one of the most unpopular periods of Madonna’s career.

There was a wicked little lesson in that too: if you had ‘Sex’ you would get punished. She fought it against it, and ultimately so would I… but not quite yet. Though I would dip my dick in men and women soon enough, back then I kept it all to myself. I flipped the pages of ‘Sex’ and listened to the moans of ‘Erotica’ and dreamt of the day when I would share it with another.

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The Ride Home

Driving in the fall when it’s sunny out is a pleasure that seems largely underestimated these days. When so much entertainment and distraction is at hand on phones and other devices, we seem to be losing the joy in a simple ride through the changing foliage of New England. I’ll never lose touch with that, however, and when given the opportunity I’ll relish these days when all I have a drive ahead of me, and a destination where I can settle in for the night. Home is to be found where one feels comfortable enough to rest a weary pair of eyes, or relax into a state of unguarded ease. Boston and Albany provide both to me.

On this particular day, making my way from Cape Cod back to the Capital District, the sky is slightly hazy, but sections of sun shine through. It’s a ‘Bedtime Stories’ kind of day, and my mind returns to the fall of 1994, when Madonna released her most autumn-like album. Though ‘Erotica’ actually experiences its anniversary this week (bang-up sex-post coming tomorrow) this drive demands a quieter, softer soundtrack. Here are a few links to the ‘Bedtime Stories’ cuts that have already been written about on the Madonna Timeline:

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