As a bit of a peace-offering for those who wanted so badly to see a full-frontal Zac Efron, here’s a shirtless post with a killer GIF. It may not be Zac Efron’s full-frontal nudity shot, but it’s better than no Zac Efron at all. I believe Mr. Efron took these while visiting Dubai. Clearly he takes his cue from the ‘Sex & the City‘ sequel, or maybe he’s just emulating the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I’m equally keen on each.
The antiquated device pictured here is not even one of the older versions (you can see that it has push-button technology despite its vintage design). This was how phones looked when I was growing up – they came attached to cords that attached to outlets. It has come to my attention that a millennial or two may have wandered into these parts and have no idea how we used to live on land-lines. This was it, kids. One phone number per household. If you were fancy you might have a three-way-call option (which we did for a brief time). But when I was a child there was no such fanciness. There wasn’t even call waiting. I don’t think kids today know what a busy signal is. They have no idea how less-annoying their existence is.
Anyway, that’s all I got for a Hump Day morning post. Send nudes if you want to be Hunk of the Day. Write a Special Guest Blog if you want to be a featured guest. Do something to join in the fun. Life’s a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death.
I’m indulging in both this coming weekend, as I make my way to Chicago to hang with my pal Chris as The Delusional Grandeur Tour touches down in the Windy City. It’s been years since I’ve entered that fair city – the last time I was there I was moving home after a disastrous few months of living with a boyfriend who broke up with me shortly after I moved halfway across the country to be with him. Lesson learned, and though Chicago had nothing to do with the break-up, it didn’t exactly have warm and fuzzy feelings attached to it. Despite that, I never harbored any ill-will for the place, and in fact I’d been meaning to return long ago. it just so happened that now is the moment.
I’ve booked a room at the Kimpton Palomar, right in downtown Chi-town, and I can’t wait to see how Kimpton hosts in that fine city. If their properties in New York, Washington, Seattle and San Francisco are any indication, I’ll be in good hands. Sable, the on-premises restaurant, sounds all sorts of promising too. Another adventure is about to begin…
To make up for this morning’s relatively scathing indictment of Madonna’s ‘I’m So Stupid’, I’m looking back at the date and recalling a happier Madonna moment – the release of ‘4 Minutes’ with Justin Timberlake. It came out at this time of the year, when the number ‘4’ was all the rage – for the month as well as today’s date. It signaled another musical make-over for Madonna, who found herself influenced by the then-ubiquitous work of Timbaland and Timberlake, and though some found her just behind the trend, it was actually a fun fit. But I’m re-writing what has already been covered. Here’s the link in 4…3…2…1.
{Note: The Madonna Timeline is an ongoing feature, where I put the iPod on shuffle, and write a little anecdote on whatever was going on in my life when that Madonna song was released and/or came to prominence in my mind.}
If it seems like we’ve just had a Madonna Timeline entry, it’s because we have. For songs such as this 2003 album cut, however, it’s not worth the hype or build-up. Despite my lifelong standom, I do not love absolutely each and every Madonna song. That would be crazy. Almost every album has at least one clunker in the bunch, and ‘I’m So Stupid’ is the weakest link of 2003’s ‘American Life’ opus. In fact, much of the malignment of that otherwise-promising album should be sourced to ‘Stupid’ – it really is that bad. At the time it was released, I was just so happy for new Madonna music that I found some redeeming bits in ‘ISS’, but time has not proven them worthy of redemption. Anyway, here’s a filler moment, and a filler post, to tide us over until the next moment of greatness.
‘CAUSE I USED TO LIVE
IN A FUZZY DREAM
AND I WANTED TO BE
LIKE ALL THE PRETTY PEOPLE
I’M SO STUPID
‘CAUSE I USED TO LIVE
IN A FUZZY DREAM
AND I USED TO BELIEVE
IN A PRETTY PICTURES
THAT WERE ALL AROUND ME
BUT NOW I KNOW FOR SURE
THAT I WAS STUPID
SONG #138: ‘I’m So Stupid’ – Spring 2003
A Southern-born ginger is a much-appreciated sight for the sore-eyes who have been visiting this site since its inception. For all those newcomers, we welcome their eyes as well, as I’m sure the Hunk of the Day, Aaron Lee Smith, does too. Mr. Smith puts sexiness on the map for West Virginia, from where he hails. Congrats to him on this honor, his second after his initial crowning. PS – Bonus points for all the fabulous freckles!
Simon Dunn is a gorgeous fan favorite, who has appeared here in many other featured posts, particularly the nude ones like this. Mr. Dunn has been honing his form, as so beautifully evidenced in these photos. An Olympian is by nature in impeccable shape – Dunn has surpassed that and here are the results. Feast your eyes upon them and enjoy.
The first of April came and went with its customary full-frontal male nudity moment. This time Zac Efron leaked his cock-shot, such as it was. Mostly though, the turn of the calendar page meant a look back at my time in the desert. Let’s stay in that zone for one more post.
It started in subtle style, with a damp beard and wet spike.
Citrus dangling in the sun.
Raptors in flight, afternoon delight.
Another desert mystery begins.
A sunset away from the boulevard.
A final desert recap with a recap.
The Hunk of the Day feature returned with Joseph Boyd and Alistair Brammer.
The Madonna Timeline feature returned with a track from her epic ‘Ray of Light’ album.
Finally, sexy came back in the form of a naked Trevor Donovan.
Trevor Donovan has already been named a Hunk of the Day, and he’s already been totally naked here as well, but the world could always use a little more of Mr. Donovan, especially if it means a little bit of butt cheek. Mostly he’s just shirtless, and in various states of underwear, but there are a few glimpses of more. Scroll down and enjoy.
{Note: The Madonna Timeline is an ongoing feature, where I put the iPod on shuffle, and write a little anecdote on whatever was going on in my life when that Madonna song was released and/or came to prominence in my mind.}
PUT YOUR HEAD ON MY SHOULDER BABY
THINGS CAN’T GET ANY WORSE
NIGHT IS GETTING COLDER SOMETIMES
LIFE FEELS LIKE IT’S A CURSE
Water. It’s a natural element that Madonna has employed as a motif in various manners over the years. For her ‘Cherish’ video she went all wet and beachy-keen cavorting on the California coast to a trio of mermen brought to life by the magnificent Herb Ritts. A few years later she got even wetter, in lyrical and literal form, for the ‘Rain’ song and video off her “wet and a mess” ‘Erotica’ album.
Water is life, and Madonna turned to it when she needed to bathe in forgiveness and redemption. The ‘Secret’ video featured a baptism of sorts, while ‘Take A Bow‘ showed her as font of sadness, pouring forth salty tears from mascara-stained eyes. Water flowed through her gorgeous and dream-like ‘Bedtime Story’ video, yet all of this was but a hint of the flood to come.
I CAN’T CARRY THESE SINS ON MY BACK
DON’T WANT TO CARRY ANY MORE
I’M GONNA CARRY THIS TRAIN OFF THE TRACK
I’M GONNA SWIM TO THE OCEAN FLOOR
CRASH TO THE OTHER SHORE
SWIM TO THE OCEAN FLOOR
1998’s ‘Ray of Light’ album was drenched in the stuff. From opening track ‘Drowned World: Substitute for Love‘ (and the similarly-monikered tour that later followed) to the rain-matted finale ‘Mer Girl’, Madonna said she only realized in retrospect how much water imagery there was on the album. It’s there in ‘The Power of Goodbye‘ video, in the salty tears of her eyes or the salty water of a devouring ocean. William Orbit’s production also had a very liquid feel to it, with Madonna nicknaming him ‘Billy Bubbles’ for the various sound effects that he produced, lending everything a lusciously shimmering quality, reverberating with fullness and bubble-like beauty. It held dangers too, like water itself. A life-giving force, it could also take as much away.
CHILDREN KILLING CHILDREN WHILE THE
STUDENTS RAPE THEIR TEACHERS
COMETS FLY ACROSS THE SKY
WHILE THE CHURCHES BURN THEIR PREACHERS
WE CAN’T CARRY THESE SINS ON OUR BACK
DON’T WANT TO CARRY ANYMORE
WE’RE GONNA CARRY THIS TRAIN OFF THE TRACK
WE’RE GONNA SWIM TO THE OCEAN FLOOR
CRASH TO THE OTHER SHORE
SWIM TO THE OCEAN FLOOR
“Tell the rain not drop,” she pleaded in ‘Don’t Tell Me’, the last water reference she made for a few years, but soon it returned, like a spring rain. It played a part in her ‘Sticky & Sweet Tour‘ performance of ‘Devil Wouldn’t Recognize You‘ and the ‘Here Comes the Rain Again/Rain’ intro. Even as recently as her last album (‘Rebel Heart’) Madonna has invoked the multiple meanings of H2O, particularly in ‘Holy Water’ and ‘Wash All Over Me’. In ‘Devil Pray’ she laments, “I’ve been swimming in the ocean, til I almost drowned.” It’s fertile artistic ground, and she’ll likely keep going to that well until it runs dry.
LET THE WATER WASH OVER YOU
WASH ALL OVER YOU
SWIM TO THE OCEAN FLOOR
SO THAT WE CAN BEGIN AGAIN
WASH AWAY ALL OUR SINS
CRASH TO THE OTHER SHORE
I CAN’T CARRY THESE SINS ON MY BACK
DON’T WANT TO CARRY ANY MORE
I’M GONNA CARRY THIS TRAIN OFF THE TRACK
I’M GONNA SWIM TO THE OCEAN FLOOR
CRASH TO THE OTHER SHORE
SWIM TO THE OCEAN FLOOR
SONG #137 – ‘Swim’ – Spring/Summer 1998
It is on this day that the elusive photo of Zac Efron’s full-frontal nudity surfaces in all its veiny glory.
Mr. Efron has gotten naked here before, and more than once, but never quite exposed his package.
Today is your lucky day.
But before we deliver the goods, a little build-up (Speedo-style) to the full-frontal Zac Efron nude shot you’ve been clambering for.
Let’s begin with these Speedo GIFs, because there’s nothing better than a naked Efron in motion.
Even guys that look somewhat like Zac get a Hunk of the Day post through sheer proximity.
Those who show their asses get some of the glory too.
Those who shake their asses get even more.
But all this butt talk is just distraction and hesitation.
You came here for the good stuff.
Wait for it…
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And though most of you are wise to my full-frontal disguise, I know at least one or two will ream me out for doing this, and it will be worth it for you: Happy April Fool’s Day!
(Don’t feel bad – there’s still quite a lot to be seen on these other April first posts.)
“I have always loved the desert. One sits down on a desert sand dune, sees nothing, hears nothing. Yet through the silence something throbs, and gleams.† ~ Antoine de Saint Exupery
Standing at every step of my Arizona adventure, the saguaro signify the desert, and the purpose of this entire trip. Up until this point, I’ve been pointing out the prickly pear (such as the purple one you see here) or the palo verde or thorny ocotillo. Even the decidedly unflashy creosote shrub has gotten better billing than the saguaro. Tomorrow morning that all changes, when the most dramatic and impressive of Arizona plants rises and takes its rightful pride of place in the climax of this series of desert posts.
We resume our desert journey with a last look at the rain that fell during my time there. I could never be really mad at such a thing, not when it brought so much into relief and bloom. I loved the thought of the cacti and succulents storing up their water reserves in preparation for the sun and heat. The thought of a heatwave made me giddy, so the rain could only make me smile.
Besides, it was fun to pretend that an old guy got his beard wet. See below.
While the desert works its wonders in recent posts, we pause for the usual Monday morning recap, in which we look back briefly on the week the clock moved into spring. A very happy week indeed…
It began with the start of spring, a glorious beginning indeed, even if it still resembled winter in sight and sound.
Winner winner, Italian dinner.
Not just the August place to be.
A breathless moon fit for a dance.
The Delusional Grandeur Tour, in full-effect.
That Zac Efron Freedom Speedo.
A desert journey that began decades ago came to fruition at last. I waited for the sun, but the rain is something special in the desert. It carried its own special perfume. Spikes and spines made for excellent architecture. There was beauty in the botany too. Angels and art soared through the air.
Hunks of the Day included Preston Truman Boyd, Will Taylor, Fred Johanson and Connor Franta.
