Lessons in Art Remembered in a Hot Shower

Whenever I take a long hot shower, I think of my seventh grade art teacher Mr. Griffith. (Not in any sort of salacious way, so if you’re looking for that kind of story, keep looking.) We called him Mr. Griff for short, per his instructions, and in truth he was a short, rather nerdy guy with glasses and a pocket protector that held his pens and pencils. As shocking as it might be, to myself perhaps most of all, I did not excel in his art course. At the time I was too timid to be considered creative enough for the work, too hesitant to step outside the boundaries in a way bold enough to glean the appreciation of the teacher. My methods were precise and exact, my technique measured and defined, and I didn’t allow room for error or experimentation. In other words, I was far too anal to let go; I wanted to get the theory and execution down perfectly before I played around. I don’t think he admired that, but such was my Virgo nature. We’re getting off track now, and this story isn’t about my failings as an art student, it’s about that hot shower.

When we worked on our projects, Mr. Griff would regale us with stories of students past, or incidents from his own life. It was far more interesting to me than the papier mache mannequin lady that another student was working on or the painting of a car that Mr. Griff fawned over. (A red sports car? Really? I knew then that my abstract pencil designs weren’t getting me anything over a solid ‘B’.) Once in a while, those stories touched me, especially the one he told on a cold winter morning.

He was stooping over the sink to wash his hands, and he paused as the water ran over them. Drying them off, he turned around to tell us about a girl in one of his classes. He said she was a nice enough girl, but very quiet. Kept to herself and did her work without making a fuss over anything. One day he watched as she stood at that sink, adjusting the water until it was warm. Once it was at the desired temperature, she didn’t move, simply stood there still, letting the water run over her hands. He puzzled over the scene for a moment, wondering at first if she was all right, then reached the point where he determined it was a wasteful pose, and was about to admonish her for taking so long. As he approached, she shut the water off. He decided to ask her why she just stood there letting the water run over her hands. She told him that she did not have hot water in her house, so whenever she had a chance to feel such warmth she enjoyed it.

That story changed my life more profoundly than any exercise in art class ever could, and it’s remained in my mind for those times when I take anything for granted. To this day, whenever I indulge in a long hot shower, I pause to remember the story, and the girl I never met, and I feel thankful and lucky, as if somewhere in that pause I’ve had a brush with grace.

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A Groundhog Recap

If it were any other week, I’d have a major problem with all this groundhog talk. The rodent has never been good to me or my sweet potato vines, but since he didn’t see his shadow, I’m thanking his lack of vision and counting on an early spring. Holding faith in such folkloric tales is as foolish as courting crows for a game of chess, but I’m not averse to a little blind check mating. Now I’m mixing metaphors and making a mess of things, so let’s look back before I forget what already happened.

Groundhog villainy notwithstanding, things began with this semi-faux pho, a cooking success by all accounts.

Gregory Maguire offered his enchanting take on ‘Alice in Wonderland’ in the equally-wondrous ‘After Alice.’

The Delusional Grandeur Tour was in stationary status when the week began, but by the weekend it returned with this hint of the woods, and then the first installment of the ‘Red Riding Wood’ section, and its immediate follow-up.

A voice within me keeps repeating you, you, you

A new fragrance for winter.

And the heat was on, thanks to Hunks like Ryan Tongia, Valerio Pino, Gary Taylor, Brendan Hansen, Tim Tebow, and Donnie Rust, the Naked Busker.

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Perfume 11 by BLK DNM

The doldrums of any winter, even a mild one, can only be broken up by certain jolts. A vacation, a good book, an amazing song, or a new fragrance. I’ve tried them all, but it’s the fragrance option that has always turned the winter around for me. On a recent trip to New York, I ambled about the gift shop at the Standard High Line and waited for my friend Chris to finish his look-see. At the time, I wasn’t scouting for a new cologne, but that’s always when you find a good one. I pulled the small square bottle of black from its shelf and opened the top. It was peppery and fresh, clean and light. A smoky underside fit into the border between fall and winter, and it was so instantly likable that I spritzed some on. (I’m a last-resort spritzer, in the event that I end up hating a scent, or if I might want to try one on later in the day. Entire vacation days can be ruined by a haphazard cologne try-out.)

This one was a safe choice. Perfume 11 by BLK DNM is unisex fragrance, named for its launch year of 2011, and it has some of my favorites in it, which is why I instantly loved it: black pepper, cardamom, musk, cedar, balsam fir, birch, amber and incense.

It begins in a soft way, and stays as such throughout its trajectory. Black pepper and incense are where it’s at, making this ideal for fall or winter. Despite its smokiness, it’s actually quite a clean fragrance, and that smoke will dissipate, leaving a woodiness that’s more than pleasant in these dimmer seasons.

Now for the super-secret, which the salesperson whispered almost apologetically to me in the cloistered confines of the shop: Perfume 11 by BLK DNM actually falls under the Levi company, which initially caused me to turn my nose up at the whole thing. “I can’t tell people I’m wearing Levi’s cologne!” I shrieked to my friend Chris. Yet another instance where I fell into the stupidity of labels and image over what is truly decent and enjoyable. At this point in our friendship, Chris wisely ignored the matter and moved on. I almost did the same, until a few weeks later, when I found myself pining and yearning for the elusive peppery scent and it was nowhere to be found online. Such exclusivity always lends things a bit more magic than they might inherently hold, but it also meant that no one else was likely to wear the scent in the environs of upstate New York. Chris was back at the Standard a few weeks later, so I asked him to procure a bottle, thus resolving the dilemma on a happy note.

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Night & Day, Winter-Style

It’s a song that features prominently in ‘Grey Gardens‘ but before that it was, and remains, a Cole Porter standard. Such a classic is in vogue for all seasons – as effervescent in summer as it is cozy and comforting in the winter. This is ‘Night and Day’ – illustrated by two photos from the vantage point of the Boston condo.

LIKE THE BEAT BEAT BEAT OF THE TOM-TOM WHEN THE JUNGLE SHADOWS FALL

LIKE THE TICK TICK TOCK OF THE STATELY CLOCK AS IT STANDS AGAINST THE WALL

LIKE THE DRIP DRIP DRIP OF THE RAINDROPS WHEN THE SUMMER SHOWER IS THROUGH

SO A VOICE WITHIN ME KEEPS REPEATING YOU, YOU, YOU

Aside from the ‘Grey Gardens’ soft spot I have, I also love this song for the brilliant multi-level meanings in the lyrics. The line between night and day is a tricky one – what a difference a day makes, indeed. Things somehow feel safer when the sun comes up, and at that time I think back on the darkness and sometimes I shudder.

NIGHT AND DAY, YOU ARE THE ONE, ONLY YOU BENEATH THE MOON OR UNDER THE SUN

WHETHER NEAR TO ME, OR FAR, IT’S NO MATTER DARLING WHERE YOU ARE, I THINK OF YOU

For many reasons, I feel safe in the condo, night and day, winter and summer, year after year. This song plays on the stereo in the morning or the evening, as a pot of tea starts whistling on the stove. A candle glows in front of the window. A book waits on the sofa, next to a soft blanket, and the world can be kept at bay for the duration of a night.

DAY AND NIGHT, NIGHT AND DAY, WHY IS IT SO THAT THIS LONGING FOR YOU FOLLOWS WHEREVER I GO

IN THE ROARING TRAFFIC’S BOOM, IN THE SILENCE OF MY LONELY ROOM I THINK OF YOU

DAY AND NIGHT, NIGHT AND DAY, UNDER THE HIDE OF ME

THERE’S AN OH SUCH A HUNGRY YEARNING BURNING INSIDE OF ME, AND THIS TORMENT WON’T BE THROUGH

UNTIL YOU LET ME SPEND MY LIFE MAKING LOVE TO YOU

DAY AND NIGHT, NIGHT AND DAY.

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The DG Tour: Red Riding Wood ~ Part 2

The one who dons the red cape is wanderer and warrior at once.

Cloaked in a blood-hued hood, a gleaming sword ensconced in folds of vermillion fabric, he trails the color of passion in his wake.

Surrounded by leaves and wood and water, but shielded from sky and sun, the realm is somewhere in-between heaven and hell. A purgatorial plane of prettiness, deceptively gentle, with poisonous flowers and slithering snakes, slowly descends to the sound of running water.

You cannot see it yet, it only mumbles vaguely in the distance, muffled by leafy undergrowth and lofty branches. The forest can hide a multitude of sins. Whole rivers of watery thieves drift through it, unheard and unseen.

On this day, the scarlet stranger stalks the winding foot path. What he seeks not even he knows, but some journeys are better when made without destination or goal. If you’re not looking for anything, you will never be disappointed. Still, something impels him onward. The path is a pretty one, the dappled sunlight shimmering somewhere ahead. Ever ahead, always forward, and by the time you look back you’ve forgotten from where you came.

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The DG Tour: Red Riding Wood ~ Part 1

Where field meets forest is an interesting place.

Presented with a choice, a line drawn in the land where the grass ends and the trees begin, the explorer is momentarily caught between two worlds. It’s a precarious position, coming from what you’ve known and approaching something unknown. (We always come from somewhere.)

In this case, the rise of a mostly-deciduous forest in the late spring is the unknown. A small meadow is where we’ve been.

At first it feels like a comfort.

Relief and respite from the beating sun.

A cooling balm within the leafy cloak of quietude.

Stands of ostrich and lady ferns line a path that beckons one deeper.

Touch-me-nots rise in mounds of celery green and undersides of silver.

Moss runs up the decaying bark of trees fallen long ago.

Here, at the forest’s edge, it is still light.

There is no hint of the darkness within.

Looking back, the field appears blindingly bright. Where once was a varied landscape of small meadow blooms and the early formation of grass seed heads, now seems like a single veneer of pale green, harsh in the eyes of one already grown accustomed to the forest light.

The path ahead is soft and cool, a welcome contrast from the brittle and the dry, and it slopes gently downward. Everything is pulling you down this path.

The forest quietly closes its verdant door.

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The Red Cape Rides

The Delusional Grandeur Tour Book is about to reach its meaty midsection – the ‘Red Riding Wood’ portion that forms the centerpiece of the whole affair. This is the part from which the cover art was selected. It’s a twist on Little Red Riding Hood, setting the fairy tale on its head and lending it a darkness and menace that goes beyond the original storyboard idea.

This red cape hides a sword in its crimson folds, shrouding a warrior intent on burning the past and cutting a vicious swath through the brush of the future. But that’s still a bit ahead. For now, the cape is just a pretty accent, the sword a fanciful accessory. The most epic of journeys sometimes begin with the silliest of trifles.

A Look Back at Previous Tour Book Entries:

01)  Intro/Curtain – Part One, Part Two, Part Three

02)  Sunset Pool – Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five

03)  On The Road Hotel – Part One, Part Two, Part Three

04)  Rock Star Addict – Part One, Part Two, Part Three

05)  Animal Demons – Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five

06)  Steam Punk Birdcage – Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four

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Dusk Settling on New York

A Once and Future Tour Stop: alone for a brief spell at the Standard High Line, I step into the exposed shower set-up and wait for the water to get warm. Even with the sheer curtain drawn, a little bit of New York can peep in, but I have mustered the fortitude to remove the robe, and so I stand there in the tiny rivulets of liquid pouring forth from above. The Delusional Grandeur Tour has arrived in the city, and I’m preparing for an evening of dinner theater and debauchery with my pal Chris. A hot time in the brisk city, as I continue to battle a calamitous cough. The show must go on.

After a bout of hesitancy, I remember Judy Garland. Yes, that Judy. As I disrobe, I think of a story that has been relayed here and by others, of her waiting in the wings of the Palace Theatre in New York, just before she was set to go on. She would physically pump her arms, gearing herself up to face the sold-out crowd. Even though the thunderous applause was from adoration and love, she had trouble facing such a sold-out sea of people.

I face no such crowd, no such love, but sometimes it’s a struggle to face just a few. Strangers or acquaintances, family or friends, it’s not always easy, no matter who you are, no matter what you’ve pretended to be.

On this night, however, I muster all the make-believe I can manage, for on this final tour it’s all that I have left. It’s all I’ve ever had, and on the wings of this misguided and misbegotten belief, I must soar. Just because you have to invent your own legend, doesn’t mean it won’t one day come true. Not quite there yet, I still pretend.

As I shut the water off, I notice that the evening has arrived. The bright blue of the sky has deepened into a bolder shade, becoming richer even as the city lights blink on. Below, shadows swiftly dodge cars, and tree branches sway in a burgeoning breeze. As the day goes to sleep, the city begins to stir.

The whisper of wanderlust

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Another Literary Wonderland

There’s a literary wonderland that is conjured whenever Gregory Maguire releases a new book, and that wonderland is a literal thing in his latest work ‘After Alice’ – his enchantingly twisted take on Alice’s own Wonderland. Rather than give away any juicy plot-points or spoil any secrets with a shaky synopsis, I’ll simply highlight my favorite passage, the one that spoke most deeply to me, and the one that echoes the sentiments of certain folks who love books and try valiantly to share that love with others.

Only, sometimes, in the text of a book here and there, we tap the page with a finger and say, “This is what my lost days were like. Something like this.” But even as we turn to the fellow in the bed beside us to say, “Yes, this passage here,” whatever it is we recognized has already disguised itself, changed in that split instant. There is no hope that our companion can see what we, just for a moment, saw anew and hailed with a startled, glad heart. Literary pleasure, and a sense of recognition and identification, real though they are, burn off like alcohol in the flame of the next heated moment.” ~ Gregory Maguire, ‘After Alice’

Many are the books I’ve read and tried to press into the minds of others, and many are the unread books that friends have routinely and quietly ignored when I’ve brought them to their attention. Far from making me feel less alone, most great books leave me feeling an acute sense of loneliness – in the unshared resonance or recognition of some carefully-crafted passage of remarkable beauty, or some thread of a theme that they have no interest in pursuing. In reading a book that speaks to me, I mostly find friends and family falling by the wayside, and my only companion along the way being the author, ever unknown to me. I remain even more unknown to her or him.

And so I sit here and ponder what, if any, point these words serve, and on a greater more philosophical bent, what any of this website means. If not for some spark of recognition, some tenuous connection in the dark web in which we are both currently bound, why do it at all? At times like this, I find it best to pause and let the question come up again in the light of day. Things seem less dramatic and do-or-die in the morning. When faced with the machinations of greeting the day – the relief of a steaming stream of urine, the river of a bedside glass of water chasing the throat-lodged frog away, the simple cracking of the arms as you wrap a robe around yourself to hold onto some last remnant of bedded warmth (and we haven’t even touched upon breakfast yet) – it is enough simply to get going again.
Such is a Wednesday morning… after Alice.
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A Semi-Faux Pho

One of my favorite dishes in winter is a steaming bowl of Vietnamese pho. It’s like a spicy hug from a pocket of paradise. Usually, I leave the making of it to the pros, but decent Vietnamese restaurants are not a dime a dozen in upstate New York (hence frequent trips to Boston – and yes, I have made at least one trip solely for the purpose of procuring pho).

During a quiet weekend, while feeling slightly under-the-weather, I decided to be brave and try my hand at the broth, though naysayers had warned it was a tricky one. I didn’t find it to be such – it’s more about the long simmer time (6 to 10 hours) that gives it a bad cooking name. I happen to love long simmer times, so this was perfect for a chilly weekend project. What follows is my modified recipe and method. Purists will likely scoff at the many shortcuts and anomalies, but fuck ’em, this shit was good.

INGREDIENTS:

  • 3 pounds beef soup bones
  • 1 onion, sliced
  • 5 slices fresh ginger
  • 3 pods star anise
  • Dash cinnamon
  • 2 1/2 tablespoons fish sauce
  • 4 quarts water
  • 2 cans beef stock
  • 1 (8 ounce) package dried rice noodles
  • 1 1/2 pounds beef top sirloin, thinly sliced (or pounded into very thin slices)
  • 1/2 cup chopped cilantro
  • 1 tablespoon chopped green onion
  • 1 1/2 cups bean sprouts
  • 1 bunch Thai basil
  • 1 lime, cut into 4 wedges
  • 1/4 cup hoisin sauce (optional)
  • 1/4 cup chili-garlic sauce (such as Sriracha) (optional)

METHOD:

Many recipes called for roasting the beef bones and onion beforehand, but I’m a one pot, Andy-clean-up kind of guy, so I didn’t want to rev up the oven and ruin a baking sheet. Instead, I gave up that smoky stuff for a more intense broth in other ways, starting with the addition of 2 cans of beef broth to the 4 quarts of water. I also sprinkled a dash of cinnamon into the mix (it goes so well with the star anise) to add one more note of flavor. This is supposed to be a pungent and spicy dish.

The process was relatively simply: boil the bones in the water and stock for about three hours. Add the onion, ginger, star anise, cinnamon, and fish sauce and simmer for about six hours more. Obviously this can be adjusted for reality, but this is the best time-frame from which to elicit the most flavor (of course you can go longer if desired – you may have to add more water along the way so it doesn’t boil down too much).

Separately, soak the rice noodles in lukewarm water for about an hour. They should be malleable, yet somewhat firm (they will feel underdone even after an hour, but don’t worry because the boiling broth will finish the process beautifully).

As you near the end of the simmer period, add the green onion and cilantro to the broth (I also reserved a small bunch of cilantro for additional garnish later on). Traditionally, and if you have an excellent and reliable butcher, you would put the thin meat slices into the bowl and let the broth do the cooking. Failing such a supply, I dropped the meat into the broth on the stove and let it boil for a bit. (I’ll sacrifice some tenderness for safety when Price Chopper is involved.)

To plate up, drop a decent helping of the noodles into a large bowl. Spoon in the simmering broth until it covers them well, along with several pieces of beef. This will finish cooking the noodles nicely, and then it will be time for the real magic to begin.

As if after my own heart, it’s the accessories that really make this dish special – and if there’s one thing you can’t forego when having pho it’s this collection of fresh ingredients. In a restaurant, you’ll usually be served the dish of amendments first, piled high with bean sprouts, Thai basil, lime wedges and little bowls of hoisin and Sriracha. These accoutrements are vital for such a richly-flavored broth, lending a vivid contrast to the flavor at hand.

I simply tear the basil apart with my hands and drop it into the broth, along with a handful of sprouts. A few squeezes of lime is enough to spruce up the surface, then I stir in some hoisin and Sriracha. For my home-grown version, I tore up the additional cilantro since I love it so much. The end result was decent enough – and an almost-authentic approximation of the pho I’d only had at restaurants.

I’m not always great in the kitchen, but sometimes I’m pretty good. This was one of those happy times, and this is a dish I’ll make again.

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A Recap of Hope

The last full month of winter begins today, which is why the title of this post references hope. Even though February is a Pandora’s box of weather frights and frigid nights, there are usually a few moments of spring carrying on the wind, some small wisp of hope that manages to seep in among the frozen layers of ice and snow. In the midst of it all is the Hallmark holiday of love, Valentine’s Day. No word yet on whether I’m doing a Valentine’s Card. It certainly won’t be in print, but it may be online. Or it may be an Instagram post. No matter what, it probably won’t be spectacular, so move on if you want scandal. Now, about the previous week…

It marked the end of Mercury in retrograde, for the moment, though ramifications are still being felt.

Zac Efron stripped to his naked ass and shook it for the world to see.

A necklace of cherries.

The majesty of Edward Marler.

A single candle against the lot of winter.

A show of flowers, even if they’re false.

Tom Daley, back in his Speedo, where he belongs.

A bangin’ brunch at Boston Chops.

Season of citrus, scent of mandarin.

Davide Zongoli, Stephen James, Jarrod Scott, Oriol Elcacho & Ryan Rose made shirtless appearances as Hunks of the Day.

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The Season of Citrus, and Accompanying Fragrance

Presenting the amber mandarin glow of a recent Hermes fragrance acquisition: this is Eau de mandarine ambre, a fitting number for the height of citrus season. It’s a deeper take on the mandarin orange, thanks to its amber aspect, and one that works better in the winter than the lighter and more fleeting orange scents that make-up much of my summer cologne arsenal. The fact remains, however, that a true citrus fragrance is not meant to last. Their very nature indicates a delicate, and quick to fade, timeline. Anything that goes beyond that carries a chemical taint that should only be found in cleaning products and urinals. Certainly nothing that belongs in the rarefied air of Hermes.

It took me a while to come around to this one. Initial try-outs left me unimpressed, precisely because I was expecting that pop of a freshly-peeled orange. This isn’t that kind of sun-kissed fizz. It burns slowly, it doesn’t explode. It smolders, never rages. It is a surprisingly potent charm against winter, one that I’d almost forgotten about, having relegated it to fall fragrance status a few months ago and not thinking to revisit until we received a crate of Florida oranges from Aunt Elaine. There’s just something about citrus in winter that makes one’s outlook a little brighter, whether you eat it, wear it, or peel it in your deliciously sticky hands.

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A Banging Brunch at Boston Chops

Boston Chops is one of my favorite restaurants in that fine city, but until a few weekends ago, I’d never tried them for brunch. Having passed it on Sunday mornings many times, I always filed it away as something I’d get around to doing, but never did. I finally broke such an egregious habit and came away with a new favorite brunch spot.

The fun and funky music in the background (everything from current radio fare to 90’s classics) had a few servers discreetly shaking their groove thangs, and whenever I see employees having fun at their jobs it makes the dining experience ten times better. The seriously competent and seriously fun staff make this brunch experience a memorably enjoyable one, from the greeting host to the team of servers who never let the glasses of water dip below half-full. But who needs water with all the Bloody Mary selections on the menu? The biggest dilemma of the morning was trying to whittle down the choices to one, but I decided on the Pickled Mary – with pickled asparagus, green beans, frog balls and cornichons – with a promise to myself to return to try the others another day. (The Prime Raw Bloody and its oyster and jumbo cocktail shrimp sounded especially tantalizing.)

A sweet surprise arrived in the form of this insanely good dish of sweet rolls, which would be reason alone to come back every Sunday, and brave any sort of snowstorm to do so. These are, I imagine, what crack must be life – addictive, mind-blowing, and impossible to refuse. We are them in furiously quick and rude fashion and didn’t even care what we looked like. That’s what brunch is about.

The Croque Monsieur, served with a thrillingly ample portion of their famous frites and a small arugula salad, was heaven-sent for a less-than-sunny Sunday, taking the chill off with grilled perfection and ridiculously rich goodness. Next time I’ll try their Kale Omelet if I’m feeling extra good, the Eggs Benedict if I’m feeling like myself, or the Fried Chicken if I’m feeling especially sinful.

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Tom Daley’s Speedo at Bursting Point

It’s been a while since Mr. Daley has graced these pages with his Speedo-clad package, so let us rectify that immediately.  Here he is in training for this summer’s upcoming Olympics, a celebration in Rio of all things tunga. The summer Olympics are always filled with more flesh than their winter counterpart, for obvious reasons, and this year looks to be overflowing with skin-baring suits and men and women at their physical prime. Tom Daley certainly fits that fitter-than-fit bill.

While the figure skaters are having their winter’s day, upcoming Hunks will include members of the US Gymnastics Team in preparation for this summer’s big events. There will be swimmers and divers too, and Michael Phelps might even squeeze himself into a onesie again. All good things to those who wait.

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Flower Show Dreams

Right around this time of the year, my heart starts stirring for something green and colorful, while my nose searches for the perfume that only a flower in full bloom can produce. Supermarket finds of daffodils and hyacinths appease the restless yearning, but they are temporary and fleeting fixes, and the forced nature of their blooming results in an inferior product. Nothing can match the simple majesty of a bulb blossom culled in natural time from the ground up, fed by melting snow and the first warm spring breeze. Still, they are better than nothing, and will have to do until the flower shows start opening in a month or two.

For this featured photo, I present a wall hanging found on a holiday jaunt through Saratoga. In the back of some gift shop, it caught the light and drew all eyes towards its colorful composition in multi-dimensional form. If you can put the dirty snow and smell of cold exhaust from your mind, if you can push away the scent of wet wool and rubber soles drying over radiators, you can picture the fields of flowers that may have inspired this piece.

The beauty of art – even in its simplest and most raw form – is that it can take you out of the depths of winter. On the day before the last day of January, I can’t think of anything more powerful than that.

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