A Recap to Kick-start the Holidays

Thanksgiving came and went with a quick whimper and groan, and as my pants are screaming for their lives, we recap the week where the buttons almost went bust, the kilts came off, and the Christmas decorations went up. But I’m getting ahead of myself. All good things to those who wait…

It all began with this shameless reminder that my ass is on Instagram and you should totally be following it.

A favorite on this blog is Ben Cohen, who gave the good word that his new calendar is available now.

My Christmas wish list 2016 is online with some vital requests and recommendations.

Matt McGorry shook his money-maker for his Hunk of the Day honor.

The moon is not super right now, but I prefer a slice of crescent anyway.

When Snoopy says dance, you dance.

A pair of porn stars made their Hunk of the Day debuts: Jordan Levine and Derek Atlas.

Jagged edges, pretty leaves.

Ryan Dungey gets naked to go motocrossing.

This is Christmas in a Glass.

Justin Hartley took his shirt off for his second Hunk of the Day crowning.

Some brooks are quiet, some whisper discreetly, and some babble incessantly.

As you can tell from the featured photos here, the week was mostly about the return of the Special Guest Blog, which found Nick Vannello writing about his work heading up Kilted Bros.

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Babbling Brook

Dropping a bunch of beef bones into the pot of water begins my Sunday morning on a plaintive note. Before Andy puts on the classical music station, before I rev the exhaust fan, before the fish sauce mingles with the star anise to create the makings of a proper Phở broth, the simple sound of bones falling into water greets the day. For eight hours these bones will simmer, crafting one of the most delicious broths that has been used for years as an antidote to the winter doldrums.

It’s a long gestation period for a soup, I know, but it’s always been worth it. I sit back down at the dining room table and write these words, find these photographs of a little brook at a local cemetery. How fitting, to be talking about bones, and then to have these pictures showing the water that passes by hundreds of bones every day. The beautiful, sad cycle of life, going round and round, in water and steam and air and sustenance.

The babbling brook goes on and on, murmuring nothings and somethings and everythings to all who dare to listen.

It’s not always easy to listen, though. We would rather fill the incomprehensible with familiar noise, known words, recognized cadences. Strange languages, secret codes, other-worldly messages – we don’t want to hear them. We crave our known comforts. The rest is just background noise.

My broth is running over. It spills and hisses on the hot stove. Plumes of steam rise before me, as if I were making an offering to the gods. Maybe they will smile upon my soup. Maybe the ghost of some sacred cow sends a silent moo to bless this morning.

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Special Guest Blog: Nick Vannello of Kilted Bros.

Any man who makes and markets kilts in this day and age is a fine and noble man for carrying out a beloved tradition. Put a racy yet artistic spin on things, add a celebration of all body types, and sprinkle in some fashion-inspired fairy dust, and you’ve got a gentleman hero who’s simply perfect as our next Special Guest Blog. My online pal Nick Vannello runs Kilted Bros., a delightful purveyor of the classic kilt. Far more than that, this Renaissance man has an artistic side that runs through his work, and an appreciation for other fashion icons that informs this amazing post.

THERE BUT FOR THE GRACE OF CODDINGTON: Special Guest Blog by Nick Vannello 

There is a serenity and satisfaction which comes from knowing one’s place.

When I was much younger it was important for me to be front and center. As a performer and presenter, my role was to be the center of attention and to lead with force. At that time I was trying to establish my place among the other 20-somethings. Forward and fiery, I could be found performing on stage, in print ads, and presenting workshops from coast-to-coast… It was a rush knowing that I was headlining a tour and that people were coming specifically to see me and to hear what I had to say.

When I approached my mid-30’s my pace and position started to waver like a top running out of steam. Unsure of my footing and now being passed over for jobs by younger performers, it was harder to present myself with the same confidence that I did a decade earlier. Time and gravity were proving to be two foes with whom I would battle almost daily. I started finding employment behind the scenes. I choreographed for younger, more nimble dancers. Neophyte presenters would ask me to write their speeches because they did not have the experience I had. I became a copywriter instead of appearing in the local ads.

All of this work was semi-satisfying, but I felt like I was disappointing…..I don’t know….someone. I had trouble justifying working behind the scenes instead of being the style-maker.—

When “The September Issue” was released in 2009, I was introduced to Grace Coddington, Vogue Magazine’s Creative Director. Like going to an optometrist who puts your world into focus with the flip of a lens, I realized that there were not only people behind the scenes like me, but they were often the more colorful and influential characters.

Grace was a model in the 1960’s. Her firery red hair and unusual look made her stand apart from other models. Due to facial reconstruction after a car accident, her career in fashion detoured. She allied with Anna Wintour and the two drove American Vogue to what has become the pinnacle of fashion magazines.

When you watch “The September Issue” you can not take your eyes off Coddington. She brought her years of experience and her passion for art with her to her job. She didn’t need to be a model; she was much more. The models weren’t moving fashion forward, Coddington was the catalyst and her models and photographers were her tools to change the fashion world.

There have always been style-makers behind the scenes. Coddington is in good company. Edith Head. Agnes DeMille. Bob Fosse. Edna Mode.

And that’s where I am. That’s who I am.


I own a men’s kilt company and our audience is largely gay. Photos of our kilts and models showing off those kilts are a big part of our image and our marketing.

You will rarely find me in front of the camera, even when we live broadcast our fashion shoots on Periscope. My body has gone soft, my teeth are not bright, and I am awkward in front of the lens. But despite those things, I know what people find attractive.

We pride ourselves that our models range in age, color, and body size. Real men wear kilts; real men should model our kilts. I won’t hire models to showcase my kilts; I employ my friends, local guys, and customers. Men in whom I see something special. I pay them in pizza and beer.

Using lights, simple direction, experience, laughter, and the camera lens, I transform a man you would pass on the street into an object of desire. I can not seem to apply that same magic to myself, but I can transform another man into an Apollo or Hercules.

That is how I find satisfaction in my art. I don’t have to be a god myself. I create gods.

{Check out Kilted Bros. online and at their Cleveland shop.}

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Christmas In A Glass

In a season of love and friendship, I’m sharing a recipe that was shared by my friend Joann, who got it from friends across-the-pond. Sharing is what this season is all about, and nothing is better to share than a good cocktail recipe. It’s the perfect cup of holiday cheer, and was even monikered ‘Christmas In a Glass’ which is about as festive as one can get. This is a simple, but potent, recipe for Mulled Wine. I made it for New Year’s Eve last year and, truth be told, drank most of it myself since Andy and Suzie weren’t as tickled by it. (There’s no accounting for taste.)

It comes from another across-the-pond gent, Jamie Oliver (better known in these parts as The Naked Chef). While not the biggest fan of hot cocktails (if you’ve ever tried to finish a mug of hot buttered rum you know what I’m talking about) once or twice a season I can get into the spirit. In this case, there’s such a glorious alchemy of citrus and spices that it absolutely transforms a simple Italian red wine into something magical. The key ingredients on which you cannot skimp are the freshly grated nutmeg and vanilla bean – both are integral to the pungent wonder of this holiday affair.

Jamie’s Mulled Wine ~‘Christmas in a Glass’

Ingredients

  • 2 clementines (peeled and juiced)
  • 1 lemon
  • 1 lime
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 6 whole cloves
  • 1 stick cinnamon
  • 3 fresh bay leaves
  • 1 whole nutmeg , for grating
  • 1 vanilla pod , halved lengthways
  • 2 star anise
  • 2 bottles Chianti or other Italian red wine

Method

Peel large sections of peel from your clementines, lemon and lime. Put the sugar in a large saucepan over a medium heat, add the pieces of peel and clementine juice. Add the cloves, cinnamon stick, bay leaves and about 10 to 12 gratings of nutmeg. Throw in the halved vanilla pod and stir in just enough red wine to cover the sugar.
Let this simmer until the sugar has completely dissolved into the red wine and then bring to a boil. Keep on a rolling boil for about 4 to 5 minutes, or until you’ve got a beautiful thick syrup. It’s important to make a syrup base first because it needs to be quite hot, and if you do this with both bottles of wine in there you’ll burn off the alcohol.
When your syrup is ready, turn the heat down to low and add your star anise and the rest of the wine. Gently heat the wine and after around 5 minutes, when it’s warm and delicious, ladle it into glasses and serve.

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Jagged Edges

Only upon closer examination might you become aware of the variety of serrated edges on leaves that otherwise appear so round and soft. It’s one of those quirks of nature that I find so amusing. Surely there is some useful scientific reason for such a design, but you can google that shit yourself. I’m merely here to raise the question and present photographic evidence.

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Seeking Holiday Happiness

Thus it begins: the holiday season.

Give in to love or live in fear.

If you’re with me, next year will be the perfect year.

And all that jazz.

I’m not going to set up an impossible goal of finding peace and happiness at this time of the year, particularly when Mercury is going retrograde from December 19 through the 31 (YAY!!!) because whenever I do that it all falls apart. Instead, I’m going to focus on making this place a little more festive and bright, a little more welcoming and warm, and whatever the hell else that happens I’ll just take as a bonus.

I will do my best to make each wretched obligation (shopping and wrapping gifts for people other than myself, for instance) into a moment of meditation. I will put on some Christmas music, make a festive cocktail, and turn gift-wrapping into an Event. I will indulge in a long holiday lunch by myself, watching the denizens of downtown Albany hustle and bustle about their business. I will finally make use of a birthday gift from my parents (a gift certificate at the Mandarin Oriental Spa) to pre-emptively stave off holiday stress and bask in the luxuriance of some always-welcome pampering. I will take in the holiday lights and music, the garlands and wreaths, the tinsel and the trees, and I will take my time appreciating them. At the darkest time of the year, when the days are shortest and the nights are long and cold, this is how we make it through with some semblance of sanity. We find the light around us, we step into its glow, we feel its warmth – and if we’re lucky we share it with the friends and family who mean the most to us.

Sometimes, we share it with people we’ve never even met, people who find their way into our lives through words and pictures and the sharing of a site like this. I’m going to do my best to welcome you here, with the hope that you’ll stay for a bit, and maybe even come back for more.

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Maple Madness

The wind, so brutal of late, has ripped most of these pretty leaves from their tenuous attachments, but the beauty has been preserved, as best as we can muster, in these photographs. We captured a bit of the sun too, which is soon to be so short of supply.

On this day of thanks, let us contemplate the beauty all around us.

There is always something to be seen.

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Attitude of Gratitude

It’s Oscar season for the common man/woman, the day when we give our acceptance speeches and show how grateful we are for all the little people and little things in our little lives. Break out the holiday thankfulness hashtags – #trulyblessed – and strike up the exit music because I’m so ready to start shouting over an orchestra.

Just kidding, I’m not going to bloviate about all the wonderful things for which I have to be thankful, mainly because they’re the simple and obvious ones: family, friends, health, home, food, warmth in the winter and AC in the summer. Creature comforts, perhaps, but most of us survive on them. I’m very much aware that I’m one of the lucky ones in this world, and I’ll never have a day when I’m not grateful for that. If I don’t say it or express that on a daily basis, that doesn’t mean it isn’t so, and those who need to know it already do.

Happy Thanksgiving, Turkeys!

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Snoopy Whispers of the Season

It used to be that there was a definitive line drawn in the holiday celebration sand: only after Thanksgiving did we sanction holiday shopping and decorating. I enjoyed that, and it gave over a month of full-on Christmas joy – more than enough to last throughout the year. These days, Christmas seems to start right after Halloween, and that’s just way too early for my taste. However, one can only fight the rising tide for so long before all gets washed away, and I’m now giving in to some early holiday prep work.

To ease into it somewhat slowly, and not over-saturate with The Christmas Song of All Christmas Songs, I like to indulge in a little Snoopy: the gorgeous jazz renderings of Vince Guaraldi and his Charlie Brown music. It’s a classic, and a classic never goes out of style. It’s also a reassuring dose of nostalgia, harkening to my childhood, when watching Snoopy and the Peanuts gang was a rite of holiday passage, and a very happy one at that.

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Secrets of the Crescent Moon

Oh crescent moon – what secrets dangle their feet off your pointy ledge? What can you tell us to ease our journey when you’re not around? You contain the mysteries of the universe in everything we cannot see. The wink of your light is only marginally reassuring, but the rest of you will glow again when you’re free from our overbearing shadow. Sometimes we don’t know how to get out of our own way.

Sometimes we make our own darkness.

Oh crescent moon – so beloved, so often conjured in cheap poetry, cited in inspirational memes, coerced by the well-intentioned… surely there is more to you than a logo, than some mythical boy sky-fishing from your cradle, but what is it? What is your secret? What are you hiding?

How cold it must be where there are only shadows on your surface, how dim and dark and wild. That’s our fault. We did this to you. But one day, and you know this cycle well, you shall shine again.

One day, you shall be full.

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Holiday Kisses

The holidays kick into full-gear this week, so I offer this happy mid-day preview of all the warm and gooey lovey-dovey holiday spirit that’s about to kick us in the ass. Get ready to get wet. (Not that kind of wet, you sick fiend. The teary-eyed kind. Use it to brine your turkey.)

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My Xmas Wish List 2016

This sort of selfish post is usually up long in advance, so as to give people a chance to save up some money for the exorbitant purchases I’m so shamelessly asking them to make. This year, though, I’m not feeling it as much. In fact, it wasn’t until my Mom’s prompting about what I might want for Christmas that I even gave a wish list some thought. Not that it didn’t flow easily once I remembered all the things that captured my interest this past year…

The first item is, to no one’s surprise, a bottle of cologne. Rather than a decadent but special-occasion-only fragrance that gets brought out for the holidays (Tom Ford’s ‘Santal Blush’ or Vreeland’s ‘Absolutely Vital’ come to mind) I’m asking for something more utilitarian, for everyday office wear: Bois D’Orage, by Pierre Bourdon for Frederic Malle’s lovely line, Editions de Parfums, available at Barneys.

The second, but probably more important request given my website and travel-penchant is the updated ELPH camera that I’ve had for a few years now. My little green friend is on its last legs, so I am in dire need of an upgrade, and purple is the way to go. The Canon PowerShot ELPH 360 HS (in Purple) is the current version with all the bells and whistles I need for traveling.

A pair of Tom Ford items makes it onto this year’s list, as precious as two turtle doves, and they’re actually quite reasonable when you consider the price of a bottle of one of his Private Blends. In this wish instance, there is a Hydrating Lip Balm or Anti-Fatigue Eye Treatment. [Sigh] – I’ve reached that age. And what the hell, let’s go for three: the Oud Wood Body Moisturizer.

Gift certificates are always appreciated: Brooks Brothers, Barneys, Bluefly & Sephora all work well. Or if you’re just looking for a trip to give me, make it in the name of a journey to the Southwest, where I’d love to close out The Delusional Grandeur Tour in peaceful, spa-like style. I’ve been wanting to visit Arizona for quite some time…

When all else fails, and you long for some stocking stuffers or more economical treats, there’s always my Amazon Wish List. Everyone knows I love a registry.

Finally, after several years, I continue to be taken by the elusive  Jeremy Scott Adidas Wings 3.0 “Gold”, Size 10. This is only available on eBay search, and even that will prove tricky, but t’s a dream until it becomes reality. (These are not to be mistaken for similar wing-tips that Mr. Scott has produced – these are the ADIDAS JEREMY SCOTT WINGS 3.0 GOLD SNEAKERS.)

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Ben Cohen’s Back

After taking last year off from the beefcake calendar biz, Ben Cohen is returning with a fine, fit vengeance as he announces the release of his 2017 calendar. It couldn’t have come at a better time, and though Mr. Cohen has been rather quiet of late (after his dancing excursions and extracurricular nude video distractions) he’s looking to end the year (and start the next one) with a bang. It looks as if he’s been manscaping a bit more than usual, which may cause concern for some fans (who have already decried his smoother look) but I’m cool as long as he keeps up his admirable anti-bullying work. (Check out the StandUp Foundation.)

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Insta-Plug

This is no more than a shameless (and shameful) plug for my Instagram account. Once again, I was a latecomer to the Instagram scene, hemming and hawing about yet another social media time-sucker, but for the amount of photos I have, and the easy posting opportunities, I gave in and it is no one of the more enjoyable accounts. (There seems to be less room for political bullshit and other discussion, which has been bogging down everything in the last month.)

If you are so inclined, and would like to see some of the photos that finicky FaceBook has deemed pornographic, check it out and #follow.

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Recap of Gratitude

How on earthly hell did we come to be at the start of Thanksgiving week already? ‘Hung Up’ my ass, time does not go by so slowly, and this is not a ‘Love Song’. But if you gave me ‘Diamonds & Pearls’ I might be a happy boy or a girl… You know if I’m quoting Madonna and Prince songs this early in the week, it’s going to be a long one. On with our Monday morning recap before we dive into the candied yam prep work…

Franco Noriega kicked off the week in stunning Hunk fashion.

The world seemingly went very dark, but I wasn’t in the least bit surprised.

Human kindness.

John Raspado kept things hot.

Come and meet the letter people.

Interesting art.

Ricky Martin got engaged.

A world of wood.

A much-needed laugh.

Luke Adams was finally named a Hunk of the Day.

My Magic Mike moment.

Another weekend in Boston.

Matt Cook in his turn as Hunk of the Day.

Tom Ford for Men.

The end of green… for a while.

Miscellaneous (and shirtless) male celebrities.

Got more wood?

In our own backyard.

The end of delusional grandeur… nowhere in sight.

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