As if getting naked here a few days ago wasn’t enough, here is one more gratuitous shot of Michael Phelps nude. It’s a lazy summer Sunday, so take a look-see at when Mr. Phelps went bulge-to-bulge with Ryan Lochte, or took a shower in his Speedo, or just removed his clothes and got naked altogether. God save the Olympian.
(Ok, they call it the Body Issue, but it’s really the Naked Issue.) It would seem that there’s not much of a difference between donning a Speedo and donning a birthday suit, but Michael Phelps and his tan lines prove otherwise. The difference is profound, and sexy, and folks looking to see Mr. Phelps in all his glory need only pick up the latest ‘Naked Issue’ of ESPN Magazine.
Mr. Phelps is no stranger to baring his body, having appeared on this site several times, notably in the shower and in his Speedo. Never before, however, have we seen Michael Phelps naked – until now. Was it worth the wait? You tell me. I will say this much: tan lines are back.
UPDATE: A better look at Michael Phelps nude.
Starting off the morning in a very sexy way… Just when you thought there couldn’t be any more naked male hotness from Stuart Reardon, along comes this post featuring more of his namesake and strongest asset. I love when a man knows his attributes, and how to use them to best advantage. In this instance, it’s his ample ass, on display as it was in this previous post. Had I known that this is what rugby could do for a body, I’d have picked up a ball years ago, instead of just sucking on them.
Olympian Greg Rutherford has been slightly naked here before, but never in GIF-animated motion like this. That always merits a second post. As does any ginger who deigns to take his clothes off. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: everybody loves a ginger.
In honor of the upcoming Winter Olympics, let’s take a look back at some of the shirtless shenanigans that took place during prior Olympic Games. Figure skating and diving represent most of my interest for the Winter and Summer games respectively, and several familiar figures dominated the scene.
First up is Tom Daley, who has his own ‘Category’ here (much like David Beckham and Ben Cohen). The GIFs displayed here (in which Mr. Daley all but ogles Dan Osbourne) are a fun treat, but it’s his penchant for wearing a skimpy Speedo that forms most of his previous pictorial posts.
Second, we have Michael Phelps. A swimmer with a long, lithe torso and a command of the water that rivals most fish. Mr. Phelps used to favor the Speedo before moving into those knee-length trunks (the only saving grace of which is how low-slung they like to wear them). Thankfully, those Speedo posts live on…
Third, Michael’s team-mate, and reality ‘star’ Ryan Lochte has the beefcake looks and body that sets the mainstream to swooning, in bulging photos like the one below.
A host of other divers and swimmers rounds out the shirtless Olympic scene, including openly-gay cutie Matthew Mitcham.
During the last Summer Olympics, I watched gymnastics for the first time, which was highlighted by the muscular magnificence of the naked male forms of Epke Zonderland (here and here) and Danell Leyva.
Winter necessitates far more clothing coverage, which is unfortunate, but for racy photo shoots some of the figure skaters will take it all off. Case in point was our last Olympic figure skating champion Evan Lysacek, who got all artsy and naked here. Johnny Weir has become a bit of an embarrassment with his lackadaisical (if not outright dumb) nonchalance over Russia’s anti-gay laws, but he’s been here too, so for accuracy and full-disclosure I’ll remind you of this post.
This year will bring a new crop of figure skating gentlemen, and with any luck they’ll have bulbous bottoms, thighs of steel, and enough bedazzled lycra to inspire a whole new generation of boys to glide around on shag carpeting like it was the ice capades. Wait, was that just me?
The blush has gone off my Super Bowl Rose ever since Madonna departed in a blast of smoke after her record-breaking half-time show in 2012. Even last year’s effort by Beyonce couldn’t come close to the show-stopping spectacle that Madonna put on back then. This year Bruno Mars is the biggest name they could produce for the break in football, and since the Patriots aren’t in it, I have no vested interest or reason to watch. (I was never big on commercials, Super Bowl Sunday or otherwise – though I hear Tim Tebow’s is uncannily decent. And there has been that tease that David Beckham will go naked, but who can count on something that miraculous to happen?) Luckily, there is one great benefit to the Super Bowl being on: counter-programming. Of course that constitutes ‘Downton Abbey’ later this evening, but prior to that there will likely be a litany of Lifetime-like movies, romantic comedies, and other fluff that most football fans avoid at all costs. Perfect for a stereotypically-gay guy like myself, who would rather watch an entire weekend of ‘The Golden Girls’ over one single minute of pigskin flying through the air.
Still, it’s fun to recall that Madonna-fueled football-mania of 2012, when I Tebowed and squeezed into a jock strap and cheered on Tom Brady for naught. Maybe I’ll do it again next year, but for now, the quieter ringing of the ‘Downtown Abbey’ is all I want to hear. Wake me when it’s baseball jockstrap season.
This funny video of Tom Brady receiving no high-five loving was reason enough to find some nip-pics of the quarterback:
The aptly-monikered Stuart Reardon rears his sumptuously nude butt in his 2014 calendar (from which not all of these photos were culled). Shot by the amazing Rick Day the calendar certainly plays up Mr. Reardon’s best assets. He’s been naked here before (on Louis Vuitton no less) but there is always room for more nude male athletes/models. While I haven’t been the most fervent admirer of body ink, there are several notable exceptions and Reardon falls into that rarified group. Now if we can only get Ben Cohen to follow suit and remove his.
In joyful anticipation of the impending World-Series-inspired jockstrap post(s), here’s a linky look back at some of the sports stars who have shirtlessly and gratuitously graced the Archives of www.ALANILAGAN.com, starting with a baseball player.
This is a very naked Matt Harvey, posing for the ESPN Naked Issue (the only reason for that publication’s existence).
The naked tool known as Rob Gronkowski in his almost-altogether.
The first openly-gay NBA player Jason Collins.
UPDATE:Â Puckish stud and hockey player Sean Avery is NOT engaged to Andy Cohen.
Mr. Tom Brady, in tight pants. Need more be said?
Another football player shirtless and in tight pants, Danny Amendola
And yet another football player, Drew Brees, caught getting shirtless and sudsy in the shower.
Finally, straight ally sports star Matt Jarvis, doing laundry without clothes on. At least there’s a flimsy reason for that gratuitous male nudity.
The Boston Red Sox, whom I’ve loved since 1986 (yes, THAT World Series, remembered for Mr. Buckner’s bauble) just made it into this year’s World Series, so I’m going to have to squeeze into a jockstrap again in commemoration. You have your superstitious rites, I have mine. Besides, it’s been a while since I’ve joined in all the shirtlessness, and pretty soon it’s going to be way too cold for such nonsense.
As for the Red Sox, I still remember the first game I ever saw in person at Fenway Park. It was that same ill-fated year and they were playing the Blue Jays. At the time, I was more interested in Boston, and the paperwhite narcissus bulbs I just got at Quincy Market. They nestled in a brown paper bag beneath my seat. The game was good – they won! – but it didn’t captivate my interest like flowers or cobblestone streets. I sat with my Mom – my brother and Dad had better seats behind third base – it meant more to them.
I wouldn’t go back to see another game until my freshman year at Brandeis when it was part of the orientation activities. For that dismal game, when they were down by eleven points in the seventh inning, I left  a bit early, exploring Boston rather than witnessing another massacre. I’d like to go back and see another one through, but not until next year. (This time I’ll be avoiding Fenway when I’m in town next weekend. It would just be too much.) In the meantime, stay tuned for this year’s jockstrap spread…
Because when your Speedo’s slung so low, and your butt sticks out so perkily, there’s only so much you can hide from the world. I doubt anyone is complaining either, so here is Tom Daley in all his almost-altogether glory. Given the average swimmer/diver build, I’m surprised we haven’t started taking chlorine pills. Though this isn’t a Summer Olympics year, they should still be practicing – thank God.
In honor of his recent retirement announcement, this is a gratuitously shirtless post of David Beckham in his underwear. Hopefully this will afford him the time and opportunities to concentrate on more important matters, like posing in and out of underwear.
While I’m not slipping into a jockstrap this year like I did here, and here, I managed to find a few guys who did, and here they are. They’re not your traditional football-playing jocks, and that’s why I like them.
There’s a more complete jockstrap post coming up later today in honor of the Super Bowl, but for now my own little football get-up is here to get in the sporty spirit.
There is simply no way this year’s Super Bowl will ever attain the gloriously dizzying heights of last year’s spectacle. First of all, there are no sexy Patriots in the game. That means no Tom Brady, no naked Rob ‘The Gronk’ Gronkowski, and no Wes Welker. Second, there is no new David Beckham underwear commercial. Third, and most importantly, there is no Madonna (and no new Madonna song). The latter alone means it’s going to be one dismal letdown, even if Beyonce does her best.
Still, I may check out the game, because it’s what Americans do, and with my new interest in the sport I have a little better idea as to what’s happening on the field. As of this writing, I’m torn between the teams. Originally I went in routing for the 49ers, but ever since Chris Culliver made those homophobic remarks, I’ve been leaning toward the Ravens. It also helps that a straight ally, linebacker Brendan Ayanbadejo is playing for the latter. Besides, as a general rule I prefer the underdog.
