Thanks for the Massage, Tim Tebow

On my last trip to Washington, we had the privilege of staying at the Mandarin Oriental for a family wedding. For some of our down-time, I ventured into the spa, which was the very first time I’d done any sort of spa thing. I didn’t get any treatments – it was relaxation enough to swim a few laps in the pool and spend some time in the sauna and steam rooms. I raved orgasmic over the experience here, and have been wanting to go back ever since.

The Mandarin Oriental in Boston offers a 16,000 square foot spa facility that looks amazing, so I’d been toying with the idea of getting a day pass on one of my Boston trips and recapturing that nirvana, but never quite got around to it. Their FaceBook page occasionally offers photo contests where you could win a day at the spa, or a dinner at their restaurant Asana – and I’d entered a few over Christmas, with some pretty Boston Public Garden photos that never made the cut.

For the Super Bowl, the contest was to submit a photo showing your love of the Patriots, and the prize was one of their Oriental Essence massages. Now, as a general rule, I don’t have many sports-themed photos – certainly not anything I’d consider entering – but since Madonna was at the game this year I’d gone and taken a few silly shots with my brother’s Patriots’ helmet. I figured why not send one in – I love all Boston teams – so off went this ridiculous shot of me Tebowing in the aforementioned headgear.

Lo and behold, as with all whims I carry out without much thought or hope, it worked, and yesterday I got an e-mail saying I had been chosen to receive the massage certificate. The comical uncanniness of this is not lost on me. Five days ago I didn’t even know what Tebowing was. Only when my brother mentioned it and (jokingly) said I should take a picture of me doing it did it enter my radar. The notion of me Tebowing in a football helmet is ludicrous on levels far too numerous and complex to mention here. But the Lord works in mysterious ways, and apparently the power of Tebowing cannot be denied.

Thank you to Tim Tebow, thank you to the New England Patriots, thank you to my brother – and most especially thank you to the Mandarin Oriental. I can’t wait for you to get your hands on me.

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