Blog

The original purpose of this post was to provide a nifty item to pin to the top of my Twitter, err, X account should that site’s idiot of an owner decide to start charging for new tweets, err, xeets (oh please). No way I’m paying for such nonsense, and should it come to pass I’ll just leave a link to this particular page up for posterity. Once that was decided, I realized what an onerous task I’d set up for myself in trying to encapsulate what this silly blog has come to embody over the past twenty years of its existence.

Earlier in the year I’d made some half-hearted attempts while looking back over its two-decade existence, such as in this post and this one, but nothing has ever come close to approximating everything this site has been. Truth be told, nothing ever could. It’s like trying to describe a person you’ve known for twenty years to someone who has never met them. Where do you begin? How do you capture their essence and what they mean to you? The only way to do so is to take time and slowly reveal, through action and stories and presence, what they are like. 

This isn’t something that can happen in a single sitting, or in a few carefully-chosen words. It isn’t something that can happen in a lifetime of sittings, or in countless, rambling, limitless words. And so it is, practically speaking, an impossible mission. All I could ever do would be to approach some better sense of understanding, some approximation of knowing, but never the whole thing, never the entire story, never the definitive view. Still, a challenge is a challenge, and this one merits an attempt. 

Perhaps the best way to begin describing this site to a newcomer is to go back to its basic structure – the categories which were assembled at the start to organize topics that would be visited and revisited over the years. Let’s get the salacious and gratuitously-skin-baring ones out of the way first, as that’s what most people have come to click on before reading a single word of any exquisite (or ugly) prose. These would be our click-bait and thirst-trap moments – the posts that bring all the boys to the yard (and the girls and beyond for that matter) in an effort to get some engagement and notice for more important matters. And, truth be told, beauty and sex are a happy end(ing) in and of themselves. Each of the following links will bring you to the last few posts from each Category, giving you a taste of what drives most of the traffic here:

• Gratuitous Nudity: the name says it, and then some. I still haven’t quite decided what separates ‘Gratuitous Nudity’ from the more generic ‘Male Nudity‘ which is another category altogether, but everyone seems to have fun trying to figure it out. 
• Naked Male Celebrities: another pretty self-explanatory category, as ‘Nude Male Celebrities’ were all the rage in the early 2000’s. 
• Shirtless Male Celebrities: a more benign and less NSFW category for those unprepared for uncovered derriere. 
• Bulge: clear your throats before clicking that one. Only certain gents merit this designation. 
• Underwear: the favored garment of choice in these parts, one that has merited countless moments of inspection and introspection. 
• Speedo: you got to swim in it to win in it.

Now that the gratuitous stuff is out of the way, onto the real deep shit of the website: the frivolous and the fabulous! Even way back in 2003, the internet was filled with doom and gloom, and since then it has only gotten worse – way worse. This little hidden corner of the not-so-dark web was intended to be a frivolous and carefree space to entertain the meanderings of my mind, which has only grown more whimsical and lost over the years. Somehow I’ve managed to keep it that way, without succumbing to ads or monetization, because this is, quite selfishly, a place for me to find peace and creative expression no matter what anyone else thinks. And so, some of my favorite categories come up:

• Cologne: oh how I love the sense of smell. It has often been said that one of the main triggers of a memory is scent – and I adore the idea of triggering memories. This has often been proven true, as there are certain perfumes that bring me instantly back to certain moments in my life – almost always good ones. Every spring the lilac blooms will recall my childhood in a way that no photo album ever could. Come December, the first morning after our Christmas tree has gone up I am immediately returned to running down the stairs on Christmas morning with that initial whiff of evergreen. The moment rekindled from certain colognes I’ve worn are too numerous to mention, hence this category. 
• Fashion: dressing up for the world is a sign of good manners. Those are in short-supply these days, and largely erased altogether. Everyone is out and about in sweats and t-shirts, and the battle for dressing things up was lost long ago. Still, it’s fun to try. 
• Dazzler of the Day: for those who inspire and enthrall me, this category was created to showcase their talents, their attributes, their accomplishments, their beauty, or their presence. 
• Broadway: because ‘Theater‘ wouldn’t be the same without it. 
• Holiday: celebration! 
• Male Models: perhaps this should have gone in the click-bait/thrist-trap section? Oh well, it’s here as a gift for those who waded past the initial thrills – consider this a reward. (See also David Beckham, Tom Daley, and Ben Cohen.)
• Tom Ford: my favorite cologne designer, my favorite underwear designer, and my favorite fashion designer – he’s also a talented director whose first two films are absolutely devastating. He’s also a song by Jay-Z.
• Delusional Grandeur Tour: an absolute exercise in the frivolous and fabulous, along with an unhealthy dose of the delusional.
• Tiny Threads: little bits of whimsy, silly thoughts that run through the head.

Perhaps less flashy, but no less interesting from my perspective, are the categories that fall somewhere between style and substance. This is the magical space where beauty blends with something more serious, the space where I can delve a little deeper.

• Travel: this category is one often forgotten, so there are myriad posts that are about traveling that simply didn’t get labeled as such. Oh well, there’s enough here to give an idea of all the places I go. 
• Sports: not sure how this category came into existence, but sports matter, and athletes can be heroes, especially when they take their clothes off. 
• Food: because we all need to eat, right?
• Home Design: this is hilarious – I have no business having a Home Design category but every once in a while I’ll slide something in here because someone has asked.
• FireWater: burn, baby, burn. It was just a project. 

Every once in a while, things turn somber and serious here, and as the years pass these entries seem to come more frequently. I’m not thrilled about it, but such is life.

• Homophobia: it still exists, and its proponents are getting louder and more emboldened. 
• Antiracism: racism still exists too, and it’s also getting louder. 
• Straight Ally: when things get serious, they can also get good.
• Mocktails: one of the major story arcs of this site was how I went from ‘Cocktails‘ to mocktails.
• Brandeis: my alma mater. 
• Marriage Equality & Gay Marriage: call it what you want.
• Writing: and more writing.

The meat of the matter, and the real purpose for all that I’ve own here for the last twenty years, is to be found in the following categories, which form the bedrock of this website. This is what really matters to me, and it’s the heart behind all the hubris.

• Andy: always. 
• Family: because I came from love. 
• Boston: home away from home. 
• Ogunquit: beautiful place by the sea.
• Gay: I am because we are.
• Madonna: they said we wouldn’t last.
• Art: for inspiration. 
• Flowers & Gardening: two of my favorite things. 

Putting a definitive cap on a life – even the life of a blog, no matter how short or long it’s been – is an impossible task. Still, it’s worth a try, and this little corner of the internet is where I’ll keep making the effort. You are always welcome to be my guest.