Category Archives: Tiny Threads

Perpetual mood.

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Not every single passing thought merits mention in a Tiny Threads post.

{See above.}

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“No shaking. Shaking is just for when you finish in the men’s room.”

It may not sound like it at first reading, but that quote is actually about how to properly eat sushi. In this specific reference, it’s regarding shaking off a little bit of soy sauce from the fish: lesson learned is that you don’t shake it. But try telling that to my booty.

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How do pencil erasers work? Such simple magic has always thrilled me.

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Sometimes the thought is enough when faced with the prospect of the aftermath.

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With all of our technological innovations and wizardry, why am I still waging war with these wretched price stickers on items from Marshalls and TJ Maxx? Tell me why. 

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Dropping things seems to be my affliction during this period of Mercury in retrograde motion: glasses, cups, screws, even a jar of olives (and all their juice, which ended up running into Andy’s paperwork for his new car – oh dear). Hell, I’d probably drop my dick right now if it wasn’t attached. 

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The day I have been dreading and fearing has at long last arrived: it is time to clean and organize my cologne cabinet. Send food and oxygen.

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“He was like the cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow.” ~ George Eliot

This is not about me.

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I believe in building children up… by breaking them down.

You know why.

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Curling back into the fetal position and staying in bed would have been the best option for the day, but that was not an option for me. 

PS – This weather is bullshit.

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Some nights I talk in my sleep.

If I’m jolted awake, I’ll write it down before I forget it.

Last night I remember saying, “When I die, put me in a box marked ‘Precious Cargo’.”

Always on-brand.

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When you work at home, the best way to demarcate the end of the work day and the start of real life is to have a meditation session. Mindfulness matters.

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Sneezing while peeing doesn’t happen often, but when it does, watch out.

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I cut an onion three days ago and my hands still smell like it. This is why I shouldn’t be cooking. 

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