Category Archives: Marriage Equality

Dazzler of the Day: Dustin Lance Black

Sometimes all it takes to be named Dazzler of the Day is a properly-placed scream of spousal excitement and support. Case in point is Dustin Lance Black, husband to Tom Daley, and quite rightfully a Dazzler in his own right. While his giddy exultations at his husband’s Olympic gold medal moment allowed the world to share in his exuberance, Dustin is also one of the most impressive entertainment gurus in the Hollywood business. He’s a director, screenwriter, producer, and, perhaps most impressively, unrelenting LGBTQ+ rights activist. The list of his creative endeavors and accomplishments is far too long to list here, but a quick Google search will bring you to his many credits, and now he can add Dazzler of the Day to that collection. 

 

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Dazzlers of the Day: Pete and Chasten Buttigieg

There was something galvanizing and breathtaking about seeing Pete Buttigieg soon in as Secretary of Transportation while his husband stood beside him, and then to see them kiss and embrace at various moments of public life. That’s something those of us of a certain age never got to see as young kids growing up, and what a wonderful thing it is to see today. It seems like such a little thing, but the power and immensity of having that out there cannot be overstated. I wish I had seen it way back when… and I’m thrilled to see it now. For that reason alone, Pete and Chasten Buttigieg earn their first joint Dazzlers of the Day honor. Secretary Buttigieg has already been a Hunk of the Day here, as has Chasten Buttigieg here. Today, they share the spotlight. 

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This Really Happened Last Night

As proud and lucky as I’ve always felt to be an American, I’ve never felt more proud than seeing our White House resplendent in the rainbow last night. When love wins, everyone wins.

“No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were. As some of the petitioners in these cases demonstrate, marriage embodies a love that may endure even past death. It would misunderstand these men and women to say they disrespect the idea of marriage. Their plea is that they do respect it, respect it so deeply that they seek to find its fulfillment for themselves. Their hope is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of  civilization’s oldest institutions. They as for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right.”

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The Wedding of Eric & Lonnie

A friendship that starts on FaceBook is not usually something that goes beyond a few ‘Likes’ or ‘Comments’, but since Eric and Lonnie live near Ogunquit, we took a chance and took them up on their offer to meet up at an opening night cast party for a production at the Ogunquit Playhouse. It was an instant friendship, as Andy took to them as quickly as I did – and we hung out whenever we could in Ogunquit.

It was a joy to hear that they were getting legally married at long last (after fighting the good fight for marriage equality in Maine), and it was an honor to make it onto their coveted invite list. Their wedding was the impetus for this vacation in fact, and the reason for our journey to Portland, onto which we piggy-backed our anniversary celebration in Ogunquit.

Their home is an exquisite respite in Gray, ME – a gorgeous combination of old and new, and the perfect conjoining of two complementary personalities who have served as an inspiration to any couple looking to make it last.

As often happens to me at weddings, I found myself incredibly moved ~ even more-so when talk turned to the trials and travails of what it took to reach such a moment in history. if you’ve never been denied the right to marry the person you love, you can’t know the joyous appreciation of when it finally happens.

The ceremony was simple and casual, but somehow more meaningful for it. Both Eric and Lonnie spoke from the heart, in vows that brought us all to tears, and it was a brush with grace to be in the presence of such love. It’s something that emboldens all of us as human beings ~ the universal good-will felt towards two people who love one another, and who have lived a life together and made the promise to keep going. It never fails to affect me.

On the beautiful grounds of their home, the guests gathered and surrounded the happy couple. It was an idyllic moment ~ the heat-wave subsided as a cool breeze arrived, the storms stayed away, and the company of well-wishers – and the wonderfully fun friends and family of Lonnie and Eric – made for an unforgettable day.

A fun side-note: I have always wanted to attend a party or event where a harpist played, and it finally happened at this wedding. I followed this charming young woman around as she plucked her strings and brought such heavenly music to the surroundings. I asked if I could take her picture, explaining how it had always been a dream of mine to have a harpist at a party. She was gracious and happily posed for my exuberant picture-taking. I think she thought I was a little touched. She was very intuitive that way. 

The gardens were at their bountiful peak, spilling forth dahlias and daylilies, as grand urns overflowed with colorful petunias and begonias. It was as if the entire landscape had conspired to decorate itself for the wedding.

Some things are just meant to be.

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A Bus Full of Love, Headed for Marriage

My artist pal Paul Richmond (who so generously and graciously immortalized me a distant summer or two ago) is embarking on what may be the greatest ride of his life. He’s one of 25 gay couples heading to Washington, DC to get married as part of the “C-Bus Of Love” – a project sponsored by MarriageEvolved. He and his fiancé Dennis will travel to the Supreme Court with 24 other couples to get married in June, as the court makes its determination for marriage equality. (Be sure to check out the C-Bus site, especially the page with the couple bios – my favorite.)

Mr. Richmond must have had an eye on the future when he originally painted a work entitled “Noah’s Gay Wedding Cruise.” According to the artist himself, “I painted a grand ark/cruise ship filled with happy gay and lesbian animal couples and a few human guests too (like Ellen DeGeneres/Portia de Rossi, and Elton John/David Furnish). There are even some drowning sinners (such as Ann Coulter, Larry Craig, Sally Kern, and Fred Phelps)!” It was a witty, colorful way of expressing some very serious topics, done with the whimsy, humor, and sharp political intent inherent in Richmond’s most powerful work.

In honor of his dedication to the cause at hand, Richmond has updated his piece to include the founders of MarriageEvolved, Joshua and Steve Snyder-Hill. The new “Noah’s Gay Wedding Cruise: MarriageEvolved Edition” will be available on Richmond’s website (in three different sizes), and 100% of the proceeds from sales of the limited edition print will go toward the ‘C-Bus of Love’. Please check out the story of this worthy adventure, and donate if you can. When you think about it on the human level, when you see and read about these couples and realize their love and dedication and commitment – it seems inhumane and criminal to deny them the right of marriage.

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These Kids Are Screwed, But They’re Smiling About It

To be honest, it makes me wonder whether their parents are just trying to sabotage them. Why else would you go out of your way to teach your kids to hate like this? The photos here were taken from this rather upsetting post, where Matt Stopera asked the youngsters demonstrating against marriage equality to write down why they thought marriage should only be between one woman and one man. First things first: a little humor to lighten the situation, because that’s the best way to deal with the sort of anger I feel about this. (All captions are solely the inappropriate ramblings of my own mind.)

“One man and one women” – I think you are a little confused over the use of the singular versus the use of the plural. Get it straight – you should be good at that.

Aside from the unfortunate eye-make-up (ewww indeed – and we will never help you out with that if you don’t change your hateful ways) here is another instance of that tricky woman/women confusion. One would think that, being so staunchly against being with another woman, she would be less confused.

You know he’s on FaceBook angering everyone with this sort of misplaced-apostrophe madness.

Wait, marriage unites parents to their children? Umm, no. “Marriage is a child-centered institution, not an adult-centered one…”? Okay, that’s gross, and you are dumb.

Bitch, please. (What? She can call her Dad a ‘Queen’ but I can’t call her a bitch?)

YOLO? In your case, here’s hoping…

Oh you poor thing, it’s spelled “marriage”. And “believe” – look, you even got it right the first time!

Everyone makes mistakes.

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Now onto some slightly more serious commentary on these photos. They’re sad, disturbing, infuriating, and insulting on a number of levels. First and foremost, if you’re teaching your kids to hate like this, they’re going to have pretty miserable lives. I don’t care how much they’re smiling now, they’re in for a rough ride. Along those lines, if this is how you prepare your kids for the real world, they’re going to be in even deeper trouble. (Unless you’re going to work in a church, reciting Bible verses will get you nowhere.) But more troubling than that, an attitude of exclusion and narrow-minded thinking will set you even further back. We’re already starting to lag behind the rest of the world on this issue.

Finally, in what may be most damaging for the children here, consenting to have your picture taken with such signs will have lasting effects. These pictures are going to be their legacy. It will be a legacy of intolerance and ignorance. It will be a legacy of hate. These smiling portraits of active suppression will be their lasting contribution to the world. From this moment forward these photos will live on – in posts like this, on people’s hard drives, on FaceBook - and they will never be completely eradicated. They have cemented their status of being on the wrong side of history. Their own children may one day look with shame upon these pictures, wondering at how the mother or father they loved so much could put forth such hateful words against innocent people they never even met.

As upset as this makes me, as wrong and ignorant as it is, it won’t change my love or affect my future. It’s only going to affect theirs. That’s the saddest thing of all.

UPDATE:

The best rebuttal ever, by the pro-marriage-equality side, when asked to write a message to those who oppose marriage equality. (I don’t even need to correct – or add – anything, and it was much classier than mine.)

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