Quietly, Madonna Returns

In much the same way she re-entered the public’s consciousness following her tumultuous and ribald ‘Sex/Erotica‘ era with ‘Bedtime Stories,’ the Madonna Timeline returns in a quiet, unassuming manner, as befits these lighter days of summer. The particular song that’s up next is actually redolent of winter, but on the hotter days to come such a cold throwback will be welcome enough. Before that, however, a look back at some of her other ballads.

Let’s start with a quintessential summer song, that brings to mind ball games: This Used to Be My Playground. That song took me from Providence, Rhode Island to Helsinki, Finland, and quite a few places in-between.

A fall entry, ‘I Want You’ followed in the aftermath of ‘Bedtime Stories’ – an electronic ballad that primed the world for what was to come – the softer, gentler side of a woman often described as ‘steely.’

I’d never understood that. Even in the mist of her ‘Sex’ furor, she was versatile enough to release a gorgeously vulnerable jewel like ‘Rain.’

Or maybe the world had forgotten how powerful a songstress she could really be, such as the one behind the epic ‘Live to Tell’ – arguably her best ballad in a catalog of bests.

‘Sooner or Later’ she always gets what she wants, and in 1991 she showed that off at the Oscar telecast.

As recently as 2012, she proved she still knew her way around a ballad that builds, even if she used the f-word in ‘I Fucked Up.’

That year also saw ‘Falling Free’ from her under-rated and under-appreciated ‘MDNA’ opus.

She’s poised to continue the string of brilliance with a few selections from her latest ‘Rebel Heart’ album, but first she needs to Take A Bow…

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Getting High With Adam Lambert

Adam Lambert released his latest album ‘The Original High’ this past week, and it’s being propelled by summer-anthem-contender ‘Ghosttown.’ With its whistling that harkens some sort of fabulous futuristic Western, it’s a unique and cutting-edge soundscape perfect for the heat of summer. Listen up, and listen good. 

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A Stormy Recap

As real-world concerns encroach on the otherwise-happily-delusional borders of this website, posts this week will be on the light side. Since it’s almost summer, this is most fitting, as this is the season for something lighter. On with the recap of the previous week, which featured a few of my favorite posts of late.

It started with the 40th birthday of my best friend Suzie. Four decades. Wow. And it still feels like we’re four years old.

Though I had to miss out on this year’s Pride festivities for a number of reasons, they were represented quite hotly by the sexy likes of Jimmy Fanz and Jacob Ford.

Since I’ve returned to a downtown Albany work location, I’ve had to deal with insanity like this. Unacceptable.

I adore this lady, and she’s always been beautiful to me.

A quick trip to Boston to see the Red Sox with super-fan Skip Montross was just as fun as anticipated.

(Even if it ended with a minor run-in with the police. All’s well that ends well!)

And all’s hot that ends hot, especially if you’re Hunk of the Day Harry Louis.

One of the more popular Hunks of late was Luke Casey, who’s already gunning for a second crowning.

Finally, forget-me-not.

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Sunny Sunday

She pulls the shade
It’s just another sunny Sunday
She dodges the light like Blanche DuBois
Bright colors fade away on such a sunny Sunday
She waits for the night to fall…

Then she points a pistol through the door
And she aims at the streetlight
While the freeway hisses
Dogs bark as the gun falls to the floor
The streetlight’s still burning
She always misses
But the day she hits
That’s the day she’ll leave
That one little victory, that’s all she needs
She pulls the shade
It’s just another sunny Monday
She waits for the night to fall.

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The Forgotten & The Beautiful

I don’t know the exact origin of the common name of the forget-me-not. I’ve always liked it, and over the years I’ve made up my own background stories, so I’d not rather ruin any of those scenarios just yet. If you’re interested, Google it yourself, you lazy bum. Here’s photo of a nice specimen taken when I was last in Maine. I planted a few of these at my childhood home, and though technically these are biennials, they managed to re-seed to extend their presence for more than a few years. Eventually they faded out. It would be easy enough to re-seed, but I don’t live there anymore, and I don’t like their unreliability for where I am now.

Like other unreliable yet pretty plants, I enjoy them more in the gardens of other people than I do in my own. For that reason, I also value them a little more. We always want what is just out of reach. The elusive adds its appeal to everything. If the common dandelion were rarer and less hardy, it would be celebrated, printed on pillows and curtains and tablecloths, deified in its scarce glory.

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Happy Pride, Albany & Boston!

There was a time when I thought that pride was something I could carry in a Louis Vuitton bag or sprinkle out of a Tom Ford Private Blend decanter. I believed that pride could be found in the paisley lining of a Versace coat or the shiny surface of a Gucci loafer. If I could locate the elusive purple croc Hermes tote bag or Jeffrey Scott’s golden winged sneakers then surely I would find it. I thought pride could be bought, like so many baubles and trinkets, wrapped around my head like a pair of trendy sunglasses, encasing my heart like the richest and most-finely embroidered corset. Yet like all tempting ruses, the idea that pride was something that could be appropriated from anywhere other than within was too good to be true.

It turns out that true pride is not something that you can buy and wear on your back. It doesn’t come in a cologne bottle or the hand-stitched finery of the most gorgeous haute couture piece. It cannot be conjured by fashion or looks or beauty, and it’s more than just an attitude or frame of mind. (I used to think that was enough.

My pride was something I had to work to uncover, and it didn’t always come easily. There was no set of instructions on how to access pride, no easy-to-follow list of the steps necessary to bring it into being. Even acting the part and proudly flying my rainbow flag and pink triangle weren’t an authentic rendering of it. It proved elusive, even when I paraded around in Prada and thought I had it all.

My pride was sometimes latent and quiet and covered in shame, but it was always there. The realization of it took some time, and even as I write this I am coming to understand that it’s never really over. Like the best parts of the human condition, it continues to be an ongoing process of acceptance and love and evolution. The difference now is that I’m aware of it. I sense it and it empowers me. You may strip me of my cashmere socks and fancy designer underwear, but you can never strip me of my pride.

It comes from a belief in the dignity of oneself, in the very trust that you are worthy, you are equal, you are all the wonderful things that comprise a human being. When you realize that, the fashionable and the frivolous can be seen and appreciated as aspects of beauty – admirable and noble to a certain extent, but only as an accentuation of what you already are.

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Boston Coda: The Friendliest Police Officer Ever

After all the trouble we could have gotten into with the beer and mayhem of a Red Sox game, all the possibilities of a night out in Boston, and two back-to-back trips speeding along the Mass Turnpike at roughly 80 miles per hour, I get stopped for a ticket literally two minutes from my home. We were in the very last stretch of our Sunday morning arrival when the lights and siren sounded behind me.

“Do I pull over here?” I asked Skip, trying not to panic. Even having been in this position a number of times before, it still frazzled me.

“Yes,” he calmly instructed. “Turn the car off.”

“Off? All the way off?”

“Yes. And turn your hazards on.”

It should go without saying that I had no clue where or how to turn on any hazards, Dukes or otherwise, and I was too flustered trying to figure out how to roll my window down to worry about a light show at that moment.

A blonde-haired, blue-eyed police officer strode to the side of my car and smiled as he peered in. “How are you doing? That’s a different color! What do they call that, seafoam blue?”

Was he really talking about my car? The Ice Blue Show Queen? I chuckled nervously, “Yeah, I think so!” He could call it prairie dog diarrhea bullshit brown for all I cared, just as long as he didn’t beat me.

“Ok, I stopped you for going 45 in a 30,” he said as he walked to the front of the car to get a closer look at it. My lime green stripes must have caught his eye again as he made another comment on how different the color was before asking politely for my license. I handed it to him and he walked back to his car, all smiles and Sunday morning cheer.

Skip said there was no way I was getting out of it. 45 in a 30? No way. I asked how much the ticket would be. $200? MORE?!? We were just about to get into the odds of getting a ticket in the final minutes of a two-and-a-half hour ride home (during which I probably broke the speed limit much more than this little residential romp) when Officer Handsome strode back.

He made yet another comment on the color, “It’s just registered as ‘Blue’!” He exclaimed, laughed a little and then said he was letting me off with a warning. Then he smiled and said to have a good day. I thanked him. Aside from Andy, this was hands down the friendliest of Colonie’s finest that I’ve ever encountered. I wouldn’t have even minded if he gave me a ticket after all. (Ok, that’s totally not true, but I can pretend to be so magnanimous… because I got off.)

A happy ending to a happy weekend.

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An Oasis Between Fenway and Braddock Parks

When faced with the question of whether to take the T or walk back to the condo following the Red Sox game, the beauty of the evening and the crowds already beating their way to the T stop made our choice a simple one: we hoofed it. With the Prudential Center as our beacon and guide, and Boylston Street easily leading the way, we extricated ourselves from the throngs, for the most part, and made it easily back for a disco-nap.

Along the way, there were more glimpses of the hidden beauty of Boston, often forgotten or simply overlooked, such as in these sunset-drenched photographs of the walk back. There are some better-known landmarks as well, resplendent in the golden hour.

Following such richness, a disco nap in preparation for a wild and crazy night out was needed. For this spouseless weekend, I envisioned a throwback to bachelor times, to harmless but audacious antics and the sort of trouble that would make for a good story that we would reveal at a later/safer date. After a quick nap, we were traipsing through the South End and hatching after-dinner plans.

By the time we finished a meal at The Elephant Walk, it felt late. We paused by the Trophy Room, warily eyed the menu on the wall, then moved on. It seemed that neither of us was up for a crazy night out, as we found ourselves back at the condo, and Skip was teaching me how to play gin rummy. As I knock on the door to 40, this is what has already happened. Playing cards on a Saturday night while the younger folks take on the adventurous mantle of those who don’t know any better.

To tell the truth, I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

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A Red Sox Game with Skip

Writing a blog with such regularity has replaced the need/desire for keeping a diary, and as such there are certain entries that, selfishly, only I and a few select others will ever understand. That’s the beautiful and infuriating aspect of a personal website which has not yet been monetized: I owe nothing to anyone. Because of that, my recounting of the trip that Skip and I took to see the Red Sox last weekend is going to be light on details, heavy on obscure references, and mostly function as a memory holder for lonelier moments in which I’ll want to look back and remember.

The game itself was more fun than I remember my previous visits being. On the trusted advice of my brother (a risky endeavor at best) we showed up to Lansdowne without any tickets. There were a number of scalpers hawking their wares, so we went up to the second guy we saw (the first was way too shady) and procured two of the ‘best seats in the house’ for $50 a pop. Skip could have talked him down, but it was already 4 PM and the game was slated to start at 4:05 (and they meant it.) This shit was more punctual than a Broadway show. I was impressed. When we sat down a few minutes later they had already begun.

Our seats were much better than either of us had anticipated, and the gorgeous green of real grass glowed in the afternoon sunlight. It was the perfect day for a baseball game, with a light breeze that refreshed as the game wore on. They were playing the Oakland Athletics and soon were up by four. They would retain their lead to win the game, but from what I understand the season has been so lackluster there was less excitement in the air that usual. It made no matter ~ this marked my first time back to Fenway in a double-decade, and I got to listen to Skip expound upon the game and what was going on. He gamely answered all of my questions, no matter how ridiculous: Why did they all have beards? Who is the fox in the #20 outfit? When do they change their costumes?

At some point in every major sporting event I’ve attended over the years, my mind will wander and ponder the philosophical. Maybe it was sun going down in the West, maybe it was the lull in the sixth inning, or maybe it was the Miller Lite, but I took a moment then to look around at the crowd. Made up mostly of fellow Red Sox fans, many of whom were in red t-shirts supporting their favorite team, they shouted and clapped and root-root-rooted for a common goal. As different as we all were, we were there together, united. After Skip let out a few supportive screams and some good-natured digs at the other team, a guy walked by us and smiled. He paused at Skip, and gave him an exuberant seal of approval: “I LOVE what you’re saying!!”

My heart always swells when I see something like that coming from a stranger. Chances are his delivery was backed by beer (so much was at that point) but it still matters. It still counts. It still reminds me of how we can treat each other, and how good it feels. That sort of affectionate extending of enjoyment is not something that has ever come easily or naturally to me. When I see it, it breaks my heart a little, in the best way.

As for the rest of the weekend, I’ll merely sum it up in a litany of obscurity: The muddled-not-muddled beer-bathing bartender who drove home with a drunk guy in the backseat of her car, the Conquistador/Churrasco, The Elephant Walk and its get-your-own chopsticks, Joanne Weir, Larry, gin rummy and a 7-11 that was closed until 6 AM. Our run-in with the police will get its own post, coming later…

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Going Natural

Never under-estimate the power of a new haircut. I’ve always maintained this adage. In times of feeling down, I find that a new haircut can be completely exhilarating. Occasionally, it’s life-altering. Such is the case with my friend Kira. She has had the same hairdo for the better part of her life. That’s almost four decades. This last year, however, she finally cut it all off as I’ve been advising her since we met (that would be 15 years and counting). The transformation has been a big and glorious one, and it’s happened just as much on the inside as on the outside. I will always defend the fact that appearance shouldn’t really matter, but it carries its own set of powers, and whether we like it or not it defines who we are. You don’t have to agree with that, but you do need to acknowledge it.

For Kira, it’s instilled her with a new confidence, and for someone who was so quiet and timid when we first met a decade and a half ago, that’s a pretty fantastic thing to witness. Recently she competed, by herself, in one of those Color Runs (wherein you get coated with colored chalk and run a 5K course) and this summer/ fall she wants to go skydiving. I’m trying to work up the courage and craziness to join her, but she may have already surpassed me in being brave.

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Do Not Ride This Pony

Some days I just feel like Albany is fucking with me. It’s like someone is playing some big cosmic joke, baiting me with nonsense like this that seems so far removed from what a reasonable person would do to themselves that it can’t possibly be true. When did bad ponytails become de rigueur for downtown Albany? No one will ever mistake us for Downton Abbey if this look continues (ok, and even if it doesn’t.)

These aren’t even bad ponytails, they’re horrendous. Atrocious. Vile. And please note that I’m not judging anything other than the hair these folks have decided to fashion atop their heads in this manner. We have less control over body-type and what will fit on us, but there is never an excuse for hair like this. Why would anyone with a mirror, or mirror-like substance (take out a piece of foil for God’s sake!) do something so ghastly to themselves? I just don’t understand it. I’m all for making your own mark on the world, so I shouldn’t judge. But I am. Because this is a choice, a very poor choice, and it could have been averted.

Now I have to walk around with a pair of scissors and hope no one gets offended when I offer it to them. Like I have nothing better to do on my lunch break. Unbelievable.

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A Bouquet for the Birthday Girl

Suzie recently said that peonies reminded her of her childhood home on Locust Avenue. It’s one of my favorite memories too. That was my favorite garden growing up. It had a couple of small man-made ponds (that never seemed to be full), a rough stairway of rocks that led further into its expansive beds, and a grape arbor that was covered in seemingly inedible grapes. (Always too green or too sour, but the arbor, with two white seats beneath its shaded canopy, was enchanting regardless.) Suzie once shared her grape taffy with me under that arbor on a hot summer day.

The rest of the garden was at its peak at this time of the year. A sprawling patch of Centaurea montana buzzed with bees slurping the sweetly-scented blossoms and pollinating bloom to bloom. Beds of bearded iris, with their spiky swords of foliage and spicy perfume, battled beds of daylilies, whose day-long beauty had not yet begun to fight. There was a formally dramatic circle of hosta around a sundial, and a row of mockorange that perfumed the balmy air. A gnarled fringe tree sat near the front of the property, unassumingly sprinkling its fine fragrance around the driveway’s edge.

For good reason, the family gatherings at the Ko house utilized the flatter and more expansive side found on the other end of the house for birthday parties and such. This is where we would assemble for several of Suzie’s birthdays, for three-legged races and other games. I’d usually stay close to my brother until my shyness subsided, and Suzie and I had a more familial bond that made me feel closer to her than her other friends, but by the end of every party I was happy and at ease, and it was more often than not difficult to leave because of all the fun we were having.

Still, I’d prefer time alone with Suzie over group mayhem any day. (That damn Becky ended up crying and annoying everyone to no end, and for no reason!) Which brings me back to the garden.

The garden was more intimate and private – a more appropriate place for weddings (where two would later take place) and for quieter walks and contemplation. A grand beech (or was it elm?) tree rose to provide shade for a large part of the space, while the more-open sunnier spaces allowed for bounteous beds of peonies – and this is the place where our first memories of that gorgeous flower were forged. I remember walking up to them – they were almost as tall as me – and leaning my head into their perfumed heads. He little ants that sipped on their sugary dew-like drops were too small to scare me, and were easily flicked off with a finger. In the sun, the blooms went slightly paler than they would in the shade, but the fragrance was just as powerful.

During most of my visits to see Suzie in the summer, we’d somehow end up walking in the garden. I was always amazing at her unimpressed nonchalance about the whole magical place. Though I suppose that’s Suzie. (This was, after all, the girl who merely shrugged when she was informed her dog Duchess had been run over by a car.) In the garden, she paused as I ticked off the scientific names of the plants, but seemed generally uninterested. I guess we all take our backyards for granted.

On this day, I remember the friend who shared her grape taffy beneath a grape arbor, who shut my finger in a car window en route to Mary Poppins, who almost laughed us to death while snorkeling with a bazillion fish, who saw Madonna with me for the first time (and every time since), and who never batted an eye at the insanity that sometimes came infused my mad existence. That kind of acceptance and love is how a family should be.

Happy Birthday Suzie! (See you tonight – and you have Milo to thank if there’s a peanut-butter and jelly birthday cake!)

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A Sultry Bordello Heats Up Albany’s Pride Celebration

One of the highlights of the Albany Pride Celebration is the semi-formal kick-off to Pride weekend, as put on by GLSEN NYCR (Gay & Lesbian Straight Education Network – New York Capital Region). It’s the only somewhat formal dress-up event, and as such it sparkles a little bit more. This Friday they are transforming The Egg Performing Arts Center, at the Empire State Plaza, into a burlesque bordello and dance hall, where the sights and sounds of a French cabaret will swirl attendees into a decadent world of saucy French delights.

Having been lucky enough to attend their Great Gatsby event, and last year’s Breakfast at Tiffany’s party, I can assure you that this will be a grand time. Fine food will be on hand, as well as an open bar (beer & wine), in addition to a display of one of the most impressive silent auctions in town. Better yet, this evening’s proceeds will go towards funding the Safe Schools Advocacy & Bullying Prevention work of GLSEN NYCR, as well as area scholarship programs that focus on empowering LGBTQA youth as they prepare to enter the workforce. There will also be awards for an empowering local educator, an outstanding youth and our ally of the year.

The black tie is optional (very optional, so relax if you don’t have one, black or otherwise), a feather boa is encouraged (in my book, it always should be), and the only thing that’s an absolute requirement is a fun attitude (and even that can be left at home because you’ll find a new one at the door).

The night begins at 5:30 PM at the Egg Performing Arts Center at the Empire State Plaza, Friday, June 12, 2015. Tickets are available here.

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A Recap in the Midst of Pride

As I write this, the Tony Awards are on right now, and Kelli O’Hara just won her first Tony. (I was lucky enough to see her on stage in ‘The Bridges of Madison County’ last year.) And since the show is still going on, this recap will be brief (and woefully without a nude Adam Levine). A busy week ensues…

With an arsenal of photos from the past decade, it’s somewhat of a lazy entry to throwback with old photos and favorite quotes, but too damn bad.

From now until June 21, ‘Sister Act’ is raising the rafters of the Ogunquit Playhouse.

Scott Eastwood took his shirt off to get doused in cool water for Cool Water.

It was a week bookended with Boston moments, beginning in the night and waking up in the morning. Soon, it will culminate with a recounting of my first time at Fenway Park in two decades.

Caitlyn who? This is Brody Jenner, shirtless and hunkified.

Ben Cohen got down to his briefs in honor of his new cologne.

Do I make you porny?

The magic torsos of Magic Mike.

The sparkle is back at Starbucks.

Hunks of the Day included Nikita Gutsu, Dominik Persy, Jeff Tomsik and Justice Joslin.

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A Sterling Starbucks Experience, At Last

It struck me as I finally received some impeccable service at Starbucks that whenever I post about customer service experiences here in this blog, they’re usually complaints. That’s not fair, nor is it an accurate representation of the average service one gets. (Even if what gets reported here did actually happen.) However, in the name of the positivity of the Spice Girls, here is a post of a celebratory nature, one that extols the virtues of a particular Starbucks employee who always makes my day a little brighter.

I’ve gone to the Starbucks on the end of Wolf Road (airport side) a number of times. It’s the closest one to my home (aside from the atrocious pseudo-Starbucks run by the more-atrocious Price Chopper). Yes, there’s a crazy woman who works there and who once asked what size I wanted after I ordered a grande decaf (umm, grande?), but she’s otherwise benign. I keep coming back at the risk of encountering her for the possibility of getting served by her co-worker, a seriously kick-ass barista named Laura.

Laura always perks me up with her effervescent spirit, and she treats each customer as if they’re the most important person in her world. On days when I’m weary of humanity, when I’m less than thrilled with my life – and we all have those days – I am buoyed by her infectious energy and indefatigable spirit. That kind of care isn’t easily faked, and the enthusiasm and passion required to put it over is real and genuine, and always appreciated by this customer. She calls everyone “darling” and it’s not cloying or fake, and she has a knack for patience and friendliness that deserves mention and admiration. I’ll cc the powers-that-be at Starbucks on this one, because sometimes the good things are just as important as the bad. In fact, they’re more important. Thank you, Laura, for reminding me of how decent customer service, and simple human kindness, can make all the difference.

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