Do Not Ride This Pony

Some days I just feel like Albany is fucking with me. It’s like someone is playing some big cosmic joke, baiting me with nonsense like this that seems so far removed from what a reasonable person would do to themselves that it can’t possibly be true. When did bad ponytails become de rigueur for downtown Albany? No one will ever mistake us for Downton Abbey if this look continues (ok, and even if it doesn’t.)

These aren’t even bad ponytails, they’re horrendous. Atrocious. Vile. And please note that I’m not judging anything other than the hair these folks have decided to fashion atop their heads in this manner. We have less control over body-type and what will fit on us, but there is never an excuse for hair like this. Why would anyone with a mirror, or mirror-like substance (take out a piece of foil for God’s sake!) do something so ghastly to themselves? I just don’t understand it. I’m all for making your own mark on the world, so I shouldn’t judge. But I am. Because this is a choice, a very poor choice, and it could have been averted.

Now I have to walk around with a pair of scissors and hope no one gets offended when I offer it to them. Like I have nothing better to do on my lunch break. Unbelievable.

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