Category Archives: Fashion

It’s been hurled at me since I was a boy. A word and term meant to evoke a certain flair, a certain style, a certain way of life. It was code for something else too, even if I was too young to understand. The word was ‘flamboyant’ and to this day people use it when describing me. It’s also another word for ‘gay’ even if it’s something I didn’t get until many years later.

For those in upstate New York, ‘flamboyant’ could mean anything from sequins and feather boas to one notch above your average crocs and cargo shorts combo. That’s a wide berth, one that is easily surpassed with just a modicum of decent taste and simple tailoring. I never minded the moniker, because it meant I was doing something right, something that set me apart from the herds of drab cattle that passed for fashionable in these parts. It was a nicer and more polite way of saying that I was different, which was a nicer and more polite way of saying one was gay.

Such codes were at play long before I arrived on the scene, and they were used by people at every stage of the sexual spectrum. They were a way of marking others – enemies or would-be-lovers, interested parties or plain-clothes police officers. The words were descriptive and a form of designation. Like most labels, they served a purpose that brought freedom and limitation at once. And like most terms that others used to describe me, they were accurate only to a certain point.

Today, I hear the ‘flamboyant’ descriptor mostly from other gay men, and it can carry a certain implicit snideness, particularly when coming from someone less than confident in their own identity. I hear a note of ridicule when someone who prides himself on appearing especially masculine calls me out for looking a little too flamboyant for his taste. It’s subtle, but it’s there. A note that indicates the name-caller has a problem with a guy acting too feminine, or too gay.

Luckily for me, I’ve never considered my flamboyance any sort of indicator of who I am as a person. If it makes other people more comfortable to categorize me as such, that’s ok. They’ve already shown their hand when they went for such a dig in the first place. I’ll take my flamboyance, flaunt it, and flounce away in the finest f-off form you’ll ever find.

{This article originally appeared in the November 2015 issue of ‘Community’ published by the Pride Center of the Capital Region.}

You have to look in the mirror and see yourself. If it feels good, then I know it’s for me. I don’t dress to be stared at, I dress for myself. ~ Iris Apfel

She is a lady after my own heart. With a style all her own, an attitude that defied the expected and surpassed the delighted, Iris Apfel is a fashion icon in a world where true icons are fewer and further between. She’s made a career of wearing what she liked, and damn those who didn’t see the genius in it. It can be a lonely place, stepping outside of the mainstream notions of pretty or appropriate, but if she felt such loneliness she turned it into empowerment. It’s only right that one of the directors of ‘Grey Gardens’ – Albert Maysles – saw fit to do a documentary on Ms. Apfel. She possesses similar qualities to the ladies who made ‘Grey Gardens’ such a powerful film – a testament to the majesty of the unique, the righteousness of the individual, the courage of those who defy the tried and tread. ‘Iris’ was released a few months ago to great acclaim, and since that time I’ve been trying to fit it into the schedule.

This weekend, after missing out on showings in Boston and New York, I’ll be traveling to Portland, Maine to see it. There are only a few artists for whom I would travel this far – Madonna and director Albert Maysles are two of those few. Ms. Apfel herself is another, and she is nothing if not a walking work of art. A fearless, funny, fantastic fashionista who has turned her life into a living piece of beauty. Her clothes are flashy, her accessories are over-the-top, and her glasses are iconic, but it’s her spirit that really soars, catapulting the zest she feels for the colorful into certifiable inspiration, gloriously pure and incandescent.

Her indefatigable spirit and extensive bracelets and necklaces became a sort of armor, deflecting criticism and catty comments in the most gorgeous manner. Some days, I don’t find it easy to access that kind of power. Ms. Apfel somehow always managed to conjure it, and it’s a commendable quality to not care what anyone else thinks. (At my best, I’m getting close.)

I was never hurt by what anybody said about my clothes, because I dress to please myself. If somebody doesn’t like what I’m wearing, it’s their problem, not mine ~ Iris Apfel

Those oversized buggy eyeglasses, those ropes and ropes of beads, those rows and rows of bracelets, those insanely varied fabrics – they come together in the most brazen and bizarrely beautiful manner, connected by the brilliant visionary whose sole guiding impetus was a love for the new and the colorful. She’s also not afraid to try things out. Too many of us play it safe with our fashion choices, afraid to move beyond basic black or conservative neutrals, afraid it might make us look foolish – and though there is comfort in safety, there is no possibility to thrill. I admire someone who takes that chance to excite much more than someone who plays it safe and pretty.

I’m a hopeless romantic. I buy things because I fall in love with them. I never buy anything just because it’s valuable. My husband used to say I look at a piece of fabric and listen to the threads. It tells me a story. It sings me a song. I have to get a physical reaction when I buy something. A coup de foudre – a bolt of lightning. It’s fun to get knocked out that way! ~ Iris Apfel

In her 90’s, she is, perhaps, at the height of her power and influence, a living testament to the wisdom and style that can only be gained with age. It’s a slap in the face to the ageist, youth-centric way the world has always gone. It’s also a unique stand of defiance against the traditional and the typical, because as she freely admits, she never felt very pretty. Most of us who don’t feel very pretty make up for it in other ways. Maybe there’s an element of a mask to it all, maybe it’s a shield – a bright and bauble-filled sparkling shield – but in a way, it’s much deeper than that, transcending the superficial and turning the notion of fashion into a way of life. A fabulous way of life.

If you can’t be pretty, you have to learn to make yourself attractive. I found that all the pretty girls I went to high school with came to middle age as frumps, because they just got by with their pretty faces, so they never developed anything. They never learned how to be interesting. But if you are bereft of certain things, you have to make up for them in certain ways. Don’t you think? ~ Iris Apfel

Fashion you can buy, but style you possess. The key to style is learning who you are, which takes years. There’s no how-to road map to style. It’s about self-expression and, above all, attitude. ~ Iris Apfel

This was a rather unfortunate choice of jacket by Zac Efron, as, from a distance and with this particular stance, it looks like he’s holding a clutch. A very chic, shiny black clutch, but a questionable one at best. Let’s face it, Zac Efron looks best without a clutch. And without a jacket. And without any clothing at all. Like, AT ALL. (Especially when nude in GIF motion.)

Flying high on his winged sneakers for Adidas, Jeremy Scott has made the comfortable footwear my next object of obsession. Far more than that, however, he’s reminded me of my love for outrageous and courageous fashion, for the colorful and brash and loud, the kind of attire that elicits stares and whispers and occasional cat-calls for its fabulousness. While I’m still on the hunt (and the damn wait-list) for these elusive Wings 3 Gold sneakers, I’m captivated by Scott’s other designs, as well as his impressive career roster of accomplishments.

He’s worked as the Creative Director for Moschino, and designed Katy Perry’s costumes for her recent SuperBowl Halftime show. In addition to all of that, Scott has produced a couple of fragrances as well, one of which comes in a winged bottle. A man who loves wings to such a degree is a man after my own heart. Oh, and then there’s the matter of that hair. Love, love, loving that hair. Sometimes blonde curls are as entrancing as wings.

I’m especially enamored of the way he’s bringing back a nostalgic early 80’s vibe to the scene – bold colors, strong patterns, and a lively jolt of fun. Fashion isn’t all highbrow elegance and minimalist simplicity. It’s leather, leopard, and all things luscious.

This past winter all but ruined my sense of style, as well as the reputation for sartorial splendor I’ve spent a lifetime cultivating. Yet there comes a point during the 29th snowstorm of the season, particularly when it’s coming down in spring, when you have to throw your hands in the air and simply cry mercy. I did that the last time I was in Boston and we were hit with a Saturday of driving snow. I put on a pair of L.L. Bean rubberized boots, a vintage garish parka purchased in emergency fashion from Sault, and made Kira pose in all the madness we could muster. This is how you get through the last few snowfalls. You go crazy.

For the first time in my life, I’m on a waiting list for a pair of shoes.

Not just any shoes: a pair of sneakers.

Yes, sneakers.

But if I can deal with L.L. Bean rubber on my feet, I can get on board with these Adidas. Especially if they’ve got wings. Gold wings. Designed by Jeremy Scott. It doesn’t get more exciting than that, and if anyone’s going to get me into sneakers on a regular basis, it’s Mr. Scott and his brilliance. My hat goes off to any guy who loved wings as much as I do.

I’ve had some shoe obsessions in the past, but they were in the fantasyland of Tom Ford. Nice to fantasize about, but at four grand most decidedly unattainable in the real world. At a price point below $300, these sneakers are something I can justify. I can already see golden dreams in my future.

“Fashion visionary Jeremy Scott’s latest iteration of his beloved winged shoes, these Wings 3 sneakers feature a lustrous gold metallic upper and futuristic spiky wings that sweep energetically across the upper. They’re finished with Jeremy Scott’s signature on the heel.”

I will channel Icarus, I will channel Mercury, I will channel Apollo ~ and I will fly like the sun-kissed phoenix.

(As soon as my number comes up.)

Last weekend I took my friend JoAnn on her first trip to Saratoga. The rain held in abeyance for the most part, as we strolled along Broadway. We ducked into shops selling incense and spiritual items, browsed several expensive clothing places, and marveled at some of the millinery on hand. Towards the end of our time there, we walked into Saratoga Trunk. It was my first time visiting the shop, and it was absolutely charming.

An entry-room held a number of beautiful pieces, as lovely owner Natalie Sillery (just back from Paris) explained various items and told of the creators behind them. I was taken by a few gorgeous cuffs by Daniel Mozzes – intricately-designed works of metallic splendor and sparkling faux-jewels. We viewed a few of his fashion designs as well – JoAnn was taken with a particular dress in a shade of deep blue. I kept coming back to the cuffs.

As silly as it might sound, there are certain items and accessories that simply call out your name. They tug at the heart with their beauty, offering the crazy notion of betterment and fun and simple enjoyment. This cuff had that power and held that sweet sway over me.

I get a lot of flack for being so seemingly superficial, but even a bauble can have an impact on the world. Like Wonder Woman’s bullet-deflecting cuffs, some bracelets instill the wearer with more than something pretty: they inspire confidence, happiness, joy – and all of that is contagious.