The Madonna Timeline: Song #127 – ‘S.E.X.’ – Spring 2015

{Note: The Madonna Timeline is an ongoing feature, where I put the iPod on shuffle, and write a little anecdote on whatever was going on in my life when that Madonna song was released and/or came to prominence in my mind.}

When you read my mind, get down and discover me
I’m an open door, let you come inside of me
Wanna put my hands around your neck
Gonna take you to a place that you will not forget

Sex, what you know about sex?
Tell me what you know about sex
Sex, what you know about sex?

Welcome back, Dita. When the world is telling you to shut up about sex, Madonna does what she has always done: talk about sex. While she may never scale the provocative heights of the ‘Erotica’/’Sex’ era of 1992, she continues to be as genuinely controversial as ever, only now it has a deeper, if less pervading, resonance. By simply living her life as a fifty-something woman who still gets turned on by the notion of sex, Madonna is crafting what may be her most shocking reinvention yet. And it ruffles the feathers of a bird that should no longer be quite so bothered by the ruffling.

Madonna and Sex go way back. Theirs is a symbiotic relationship from which each has benefitted in some way. Madonna gets the attention and controversy; Sex gets the promotion and demystification. From the heady days of ‘Like A Virgin’ to the ‘down on my knees’ double-entendre of ‘Like A Prayer,’ Madonna has sprinkled sexual references overt and subtle into just about everything she has done. There was ‘Justify My Love,’ there was ‘Girl Gone Wild,’ and there was ‘Erotica.’ Even in more somber works such as ‘Bad Girl’ and ‘Rain’ there is an element of the sexual.

As for this blatant and blunt cut from the deluxe version of ‘Rebel Heart,’ Madonna re-treads her exciting titillation of the early 90’s, but it’s a saucy echo more than anything with substantial ‘raw meat’ on its bones. The strange thing about ‘S.E.X.’ is that it actually sounds a bit like the bad reviews of ‘Erotica’ from 1992. Back then, Madonna was accused of being cold and remote, and the entire ‘Erotica’ album was maligned as a clinical examination of the topic rather than the brittle musical essay of wanting to connect on a deeper level. On ‘Rebel Heart’ there are sexier and more erotic themes that piggy-back on love in songs like ‘Inside Out’ and ‘Ghosttown’ which means that something like ‘S.E.X.’ pales in comparison.

That’s not to say that this track is wholly without spark. When Madonna ticks off a list of fetishes, it’s equally hilarious and erotic, and if there’s one thing that most of her critics miss it’s Madonna’s acknowledgement that there is not only fun to be had in sex, but humor as well.

Twisted rope, hand cuffs
Blindfold, strings of pearls
Necktie, silk scarf
Silver chains, pretty girls
Thigh highs, feather masks
High heels, gold damask
Perfume, switchblade
Absinthe, Novocaine

Chopsticks, underwear
Bar of soap, dental chair
Fishnets, satin sheets
Garter belt, raw meat
Candlelight, key hole
Leather belt, mink stole
Golden shower, latex thong
Licorice whips, strap it on

Like the act itself, ‘S.E.X.’ the song is a bit messy, but even when it’s bad, it’s still pretty good.

A lesson in sexology, indeed.

SONG #127 – ‘S.E.X.’ – Spring 2015

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Cheery Woodland Sprites

The celadon poppy frequents woodland areas in early spring to mid-summer, so its reign is about to come to a close. Like some humans, they wilt in the heat of high summer. Until then, however, they will throw out these happy yellow blossoms. The sap of this plant matches its flower color in vibrancy and potency, and these will stain your hands and clothing if given half the chance, so do be careful.

It’s still a small price to pay for such exquisitely delicate blooms and foliage.

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Tom Hiddleston and Underwear Bulge

Who knew under all of Loki’s armor and long locks lurked such a hot body? Apparently Taylor Swift got the scoop, as she was reportedly canoodling with him on some beach somewhere, because when you’re Taylor Swift that’s how you work I guess. (Bye bye, Calvin Harris – you were but a blip on the underwear-model radar…) As for the man who played Loki, this is Tom Hiddleston – not quite ready for his Hunk of the Day moment until we see if there’s something more here. For now, this is a promising beginning.

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Solstice of Summer

The first day of summer has at long last arrived, and though that means the days are only going to get shorter from here on out, we’ve got a full-run of the blissful season ahead of us. I’m going to do my best to enjoy the moment and live each day like I envisioned during the long cold stretch of winter. The Delusional Grandeur Tour has several upcoming stops to see us through the hopefully-sunny days, including my very first trip to Rehoboth Beach. Until then, a look back at the summer days that have come and gone.

Last summer… and again

A semi-secret summer escape.

Nearer the end

Even if I prefer the height of the highs

Summer sunflowers.

Summer drama.

Summer hotness.

Summer sun.

Summer scent.

Summer booty.

Summer past… and further past.

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Sad Summer Recap

It was a week of sadness and sorrow, hatred and anger, and I’m not sure why this recent tragedy is hitting and me in a different, more profound way than others of its kind. As is my wont to do in such situations, when I don’t know how to deal with the funk that has settled over me and the world, I turn to the simple things that ease the burdens. Family, friends, beauty and calm – and this week was the result of that.

Luckily, I had Ogunquit to look back on, its whimsies and enchantments intact.

There was also the weekend of Pride before it went dark, and this fun outfit. (With matching shoes.)

Suzie always cheers me up, and this post was proof of that.

The sweet perfume of the mockorange lent its own balm to the week.

My husband and the mustang.

My Dad on his day.

My friend Skip is another cheering influence, as was the recap of this year’s Boston Red Sox game. (Be sure to read Part 2 too.)

As always, there were Hunks: Dalton Jackson, Seth Sikes, Josh Sabarra, Colin Cunliffe, & Josh Zegarra.

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Mission Impossible: AC, AM & The BoSox – Part 2

Pizza was ordered, a submarine sandwich arrived, and either an American Express card or a tantrum was thrown on the kitchen floor, but that’s all in a night in Boston. A brief sleepwalking bout and a late-morning rise done, we made our way into the city to procure a treasure: Andy’s wedding ring, which was at Shreve, Crump & Low for resizing.

The city was in the early stages of Pride week, with rainbow flags billowing from the Public Library and events starting to shape up in celebratory fashion. The previous evening had been the Red Sox Gay Game, which, had we known in advance, would have been a great game to attend. But we were installing things at that time, so the Saturday game would suffice.

First, however, was an inaugural ride to the new Government Station T stop. What once was dark and dank and decidedly dreary was now flooded and filled with light. A troop of Filipino dancers, none older than twelve or thirteen, awkwardly moved in a circle formation, resplendent in traditional festival garb. The whole city, it seemed, was in the mood to dance.

I hadn’t been to Faneuil Hall in a while, but since it was a favorite stop for Skip we walked across its cobblestones and ate an early lunch beneath its historical dome. A tutorial run-down of the famous-in-certain-circles cute guy at the Chipyard, and the resulting bag of chocolate chip cookies, gave us impetus to walk back to the condo. The day was still early and bright, and the walk was brisk but easy.

There was even a bit of time left over for a quick nap. That’s what men on the verge of middle-age do.

The game itself was a grand one. The very first professional baseball game I’d ever seen, way back in 1986, had been the Boston Red Sox vs. the Toronto Blue Jays. Since that day, both teams have held a special place in my heart (with the Red Sox obviously trumping the Jays, which is exactly how the game played out after an early inning volley that saw both teams trading a run or two until the Sox pulled ahead and pulled it off). We left with a crowd in high spirits, walking back along Boylston before a sushi dinner.

Having spilled most of my fun-and-energy reservoir the night prior, I had no objection to returning to the condo for the night. Neither did Skip, who wanted me to try out his Oculus. This is what it looks like on him. Which means you’re never going to see how it looks on me. As ridiculous as I may have appeared, the thing was pretty cool, and Skip knows how to call the future, so get ready for this on everyone.

The next morning we woke to rain. It was light at first, and we managed to load the old air conditioner into the Mini Cooper without incident. The rain grew heavier as we traveled westward and into New York State. Skip recounted the high school prank that he and his friends had pulled off during their senior year. It was, in so many respects, the perfect sort of prank ~ harmless but funny, safe but entertaining, not the least bit irreparable, but wholly unforgettable. That’s all I’m going to say about it, as it’s his tale to tell. What I got out of it was a new insight into a friend I suddenly realized I’d known for over ten years.

There, at the tail-end of our Red Sox weekend, was the kernel of friendship that formed the heart of the trip for me. Not the excitement of a win against the Blue Jays, not the fun and laughter of a gay bar crawl, not the successful installation of a summer-saving air conditioner ~ but the deeper connection to a friend, and a better understanding of the boy he used to be.

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Mission Impossible: AC, AM & The BoSox – Part 1

It sat in the back of the car, padded like a delicate ticking bomb. One false step on the brake and we’d both be crushed. A heavy box of tools for the task at hand sat snugly beside the precious cargo. My partner in crime was calmer than me. I always worried more, happier to expect the worse and be granted a better outcome. Emotional insurance. You learn it after enough disappointments. We crawled along, the minutes growing tenser. Snarled in traffic at one point, we slowed to a stop. The weekend unfurled ahead. Lady Gaga was playing. My friend Skip was in the car and we talked about the plan.

He didn’t anticipate any problems. The biggest hurdle would be in getting the unit up the stairs, or so he explained. I had visions of much worse: trying and failing to dissemble what was already there, taking out some hapless passers-by below, or discovering that we lacked an essential tool or part to successfully complete the mission. As the traffic cleared, the day could be seen for the beauty that it was: sunny and warm and the perfect re-entry into Boston. We hadn’t been here together for almost exactly a year. And though a wise woman once remarked that you can never do the same twice, no matter how fierce, I held onto hope that this weekend would be just as fun and exciting as the very first time.

Before we could officially let loose however, there was the mission: installation of a new air conditioning unit. After over twenty years of faithful service (and a couple of seasons of very loud and noisy and rattling service) it was time for our very first AC to retire. I’d asked Skip if he would help me take out the old and install the new during our Boston Red Sox weekend, and he was game. (Get it???)

I had complete confidence that he knew how to make it happen, re-enforced by the serious tool set he brought along with him. We pulled up to the condo, unloaded the AC (the only hairy part of the ordeal thus far) and got back in the car to park. After a quick yet unanticipatedly-extensive beer run (who knew that they didn’t sell beer at the 7-11?) we made it back to the condo and headed into the sunlit bay-window of the bedroom, which housed a dusty old air conditioning unit that looked like it had been welded into place.

What served to solidify its placement and running all these decades was an installation job that required a whole lot more work than Skip originally envisioned. Long screws had been drilled through the metal framework of the window. Thick gobs of caulking, hardened into cement-like grips, ran around the entire unit and inside the window. Just when we thought we could pull the thing out, another screw revealed itself, embedded deeper within and requiring excavation. Carrying the thing upstairs soon seemed like a cakewalk compared to getting this beast free, but finally it budged.

I fanned myself and took a sip of a gin & tonic. (Thank goodness for Andy’s stock of Fevertree Tonic Water, and a fresh lime.) Watching all of this unfold was sweaty, draining work. A bit of dust from the old unit had settled on my shoe and I hastened to kick it off. I presented Skip with the next step: a support for the new AC, which was slightly heavier and larger than what formerly occupied the space. He installed it in no time, and soon we had the new unit in the window and running with ease. Instantly, the room felt cooler, and with the additional BTUs I could already discern a noticeable difference. Skip had just saved summer at the condo.

We went out to Boston Chops to celebrate, because when you do something that uses power tools you want a steak dinner with an endless stream of fries. You also want a cocktail and some red wine. And then you go on a gay bar crawl and get humiliated by your straight friend. But that’s another story for another post… and not in the upcoming Part 2 of this tale. Come back anyway.

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A New Boston Tradition

Repeating a Red Sox weekend in Boston just once hardly counts as a tradition, but hopefully one day it will be. Like the Holiday Stroll with Kira, this is just too fun not to threepeat. But that’s getting ahead of things, and when you have a weekend as fun as the one Skip and I recently spent in Boston, we’re going to extend the joy I had in recounting it over a couple of posts.

For now, I’m posting a juxtaposition of last year’s game versus this year’s game as seen below. I look equally unimpressed in both, which just goes to show how deceptive appearances can be. In truth, I was having a blast in both instances. Skip just has a better way of showing it. (He was also the one taking the wretched photos, so he knew what was coming. I was caught unaware. Virgos hate surprises.) This year’s adventure had the added onus of having to install a new air conditioner (you’ll have to come back later today to see how that turned out…)

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Happy Dad’s Day

For all the fathers out there, this post goes out to you for all that you do. I’d say that being a good father ranks second only to being a good mother as far as thanklessness goes. When we’re kids, we don’t always appreciate what we have – and sometimes when we’re adults we need a reminder of that too. To be fair, I’ve always been grateful and appreciative of my father – so that doesn’t change with today – it only gets celebrated and notated a little more than usual.

As for today’s celebration, the family is coming over for some time by the pool – which is probably not my Dad’s first wish, but sometimes Father’s Day is for the kids. Being a good sport is part of being a good Dad – and I have one of the best.

Happy Father’s Day, Dad. I love you.

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Andy & The Mustang

This photo tickles me on a number of levels.

First, it’s Andy.

Second, it’s HomoRadio.

And third, it’s Dr. Ray’s Mustang.

We stole this shot on the fly on our way home from the Albany Pride Festival.

The perfect end-note to a few fun days.

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Sweet Summer Perfume

Continuing this year’s theme of missing things, or catching them at the tail-end of their show, I almost let the mockorange pass by without notice or comment. That would have been unforgivable, as it produces the sweet scent of summer – and it reminds me of some joyful moments. It is said that scent is one of the most powerful memory-triggers, and I’ve certainly found that to be true. (I’d reckon that music is up there too, as there are some songs that bring me instantly back to the past.)

In a slight defense of my absentmindedness when it comes to the mockorange blooms, this is not their strongest year as far as blooms go. They had to be pruned back hard a year or two ago, so they are still recovering. As they bloom on old wood, pruning can wipe out future crops of blossoms. That’s all right – it makes me appreciate them more on the good years. The undulation of the garden keeps everything interesting, ad offers a breather in an off-year.

Strangely, the two robust specimens I planted when we first moved in are actually the ones producing the fewest blooms, while the two run-down clumps that were here when we purchased the house are throwing out a few more blossoms. I like that. It keeps me on my toes.

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A Moment of Albany Magic

Sometimes downtown Albany can take one by surprise with its beauty.

In this case, it was a wink of enchantment after the Alice in Wonderland GLSEN Gala.

The indigo sky of dusk, the cheery light of street lamps, and the open window of a car driving straight into summer…

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Faces of Pride, Faces of Love

This collection of photos from the ‘Alice in Wonderland’ GLSEN Gala is the sort of thing that keeps me inspired to keep going with this blog. It includes some of my favorite people, who came together for the formal kick-off to Albany’s Pride weekend in the newly-renovated Renaissance Hotel. Hopefully this will counteract some of the darkness most of us have been feeling of late. When I look at these photos, at my friends in these photos, it fills me with hope, and a sliver of happiness that reminds me of all that’s good in this world.

We begin with one of the people responsible for putting this whole thing together: Rick Marchant. He’s been doing this for some time, and each year he somehow manages to out-do himself. The tireless and selfless work of a true hero, Rick is a hero to many of us.

Honorary Chair Angela Ledford gave the most moving and powerful speech of the night, something that resonates and challenges the most open-minded among us. We need that now.

The gentlemen from HomoRadio were being honored for their decades of work, and it is truly an honor to call these guys our friends.

It was a night of love and joy, the formal event for Albany’s Pride weekend, and it was a room filled with smiles and laughter.

Looking back, it feels like another world, for a number of reasons. Parties are like that. The time before a tragedy is like that too.

Such fabulousness lives on here, however, and these memories are happy ones that I’d like to jot down in this blog, the modern-day diary.

The parade of wonderful people marched onward as I saw friends old and new, each one resplendent and giddy with the promise of Pride.

Too often, I dwell on the darker more mournful aspects of life. I’ve used this space as my way of showing off the best of our world – the things that excite and inspire and elicit happiness and joy. These smiling faces are the ultimate personification of that.

Another great person who has helped to make these GLSEN Events happen is Lisa Weis, seen in all her sequin splendor. Oh, and you may also recognize the guy below for his contributions to my state of well-being. All in all, it was an amazing evening, and a lovely way to kick off Pride Weekend in Albany.

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Peonies: 2016

Some years are good years for peonies, some are bad.

This was a pretty good one.

I, on the other hand, was bad – at least as far as taking the time to appreciate and pamper them.

It all just came so quickly – blooms burst forth in a few days of high heat, then we missed a few days in Maine (our peonies like to bloom in private as they traditionally take that weekend to give it up) – and by the time the show was nearing its end, I’d almost forgotten to take a few rounds through the garden to make the most of it. That’s my regret – but it wasn’t entirely my fault, given the piss-poor weather we’ve had off and on.

Next year, I will try to do better.

Next year, I will pause, and sniff, and take in the moment.

No, not just take it in – I will inhabit the moment.

Live in the moment.

Nothing should be taken for granted.

This beautiful specimen was one of the last to bloom.

It’s never too late to show a little gratitude.

Summer is almost here…

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Happy Faces, Happy Family

We threw a low-key 41st birthday pizza party for Suzie and the family, and seeing these smiling faces are just what this blog, and this week, needs right now. Happy memories, happy times, happy friends and family. This is how we feel. This is how we heal. This is how we find happiness. Let’s do it again next year.

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