Lace Fit For a Queen

Named rather obviously, if whimsically, for Queen Ann’s Lace, these tenacious wildflowers were a little too hardy and invasive for me to quite embrace as a child, but I’m coming around to them. In the Northeast, they are troopers in the extremes of weather we get here, surviving the winters with a long tap root and a hardiness at odds with their delicate appearance. I always knew of their survival instincts, I even saw them laugh in the face of fire.

In the fall of that year, a dried bouquet of seeds, intact in the skeletal umbrel of the flowerhead, had made its way into our garden, where it became brittle and bone dry. It was an ill-advised and unsuccessful attempt at transplanting one from the wild. As a rather dangerous experiment in easier brush removal, I lit one of them on fire, watching the seeds explode and disperse and then forgetting about them over winter. The next spring, a mass of fernlike seedlings had cropped up in the area, more than I have ever gotten when intentionally tending patches of perfectly-planted seeds. I knew then that this queen was far from fragile.

She is a signifier of summer, standing up to the most oppressive heat in the road-side stretches she favors. She also makes a decent cut flower, although when picked at high heat of day, she sometimes tend to droop, and may never recover. As with many things, timing is crucial. Earliest morning, preferably after a few days of restorative rain, is the ideal window.

The cream-colored lace, and soft green foliage, reminds me of summer. As heat-horny insects buzzed in hidden leafy canopies, and the sun moved directly overhead, the lace remained refined and elegant. It nodded its floriferous carriage, held stalwart in the face of strong winds and rains, and perhaps its very airy nature allowed it to deal with forces that would have crushed more solid floral forms. The lace of a queen sometimes needs to be as strong as it is pretty.

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High July Recap

A perfect July weekend comes to a close, and I’m still hanging onto memories of all that I did (lounging by the pool, reading, watering the gardens) and mostly what I didn’t have to do (anything else.) It was [sigh] practically perfect. And like all things that good, it had to come to an end. But other weekends are bound to follow, and exciting things are already on the way, so let’s take one quick look back before we go forward into fabulousness.

Justin Bieber showed his naked ass in the manner to which I’m usually accustomed, and it was better than most people envisioned.

Ben Cohen looks just as sexy fully-clothed as he does in his underwear, so this post may leave you feeling torn.

A threesome-themed post with Mr. Cohen and David Beckham. Who wants to be the third?

It was a week spent mostly by the pool, and that was a very good thing.

Cuteness on high.

Barrett Pall entered the elite two-time Hunk of the Day club, and quite deservedly so based on these photos, while Mariano Ontanon made his Hunk debut.

I want to smell like this by the end of July.

Is this guy the sexiest math teacher in the world?

Madonna has left me with many a summer memory. Here are more than a couple.

The variety of Hunks of the Day proved extreme, as we vacillated between a sexy straight guy casually fronting for marriage equality in the fine form of Joe Santagato and an openly-gay dancer from across the pond, Robin Windsor, between a straight go-go-dancer in Hollywood, Jeff Tetreault, and the openly-gay internet phenomenon Tyler Oakley. Oh, and UFC champion Conor McGregor.

The most important development of the week, however, came in the form of the first glimpse of the Final Tour. It’s what I’ve been working on for the past few months, and the reason why things here have been light and hectic and somewhat less than what I hope you expect. That’s all about to change. The reveals are about to arrive…

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The First Image of The Final Tour

“A frivolous society can acquire dramatic significance only through what its frivolity destroys.” ~ Edith Wharton

March 1995: The first stop was my friend Ann’s house. As my manager, she would oversee this first leg of my first tour, ‘Chameleon in Motion: The Friendship Tour‘ and we were departing for a weekend in Potsdam, NY. From the bleak winter doldrums of Boston and Brandeis, I was headed into bleaker terrain. Someone hadn’t anticipated that early March was still winter, so with a torn vintage faux fur coat, and a colorful silk scarf tied to the antenna of my parents’ Blazer, we began our trek northward. I hadn’t been that excited and happy in a long time, and my giddiness now was mostly because of Ann, and our destination of seeing another friend, Missy.

The roads were caked with dirty snow, while more pristine expanses of white stuff stretched out in the distance. We stopped at the edge of a little lake at one point, and somewhere there’s a photo of me in a sea of white, arms folded across my chest to keep warm, but smiling a broad and genuine smile for Ann, and for the hope of a tour.

Back then a tour was just my way of emulating Madonna in a mostly-delusional manner. It consisted not so much of performing, though in some way everything I did back then was a performance, but more of traveling around the Northeast visiting my friends at their respective universities. From Cornell to the Crane School of Music, from RIT to U of R, and from Brandeis to SUNY Albany, it was more properly a college tour, but it was becoming something more. On each stop, prompted by me or gleefully taking the reins themselves, my friends had the generosity and good hearts to treat me like a visiting celebrity. Everyone should be so honored at some point in their lives. Because of this, the notion of being on tour was more than just a whimsical fancy (even if not by much.) For that, I owed my friends much. They didn’t know how much they saved me, mostly from myself.

As we wound our way along the curving roads to Potsdam, listening to Aretha Franklin and laughing our asses off over nothing, my very first tour began. It would be one way of coming into my own, even in the adopted emulation of an idol, and it would be the state in which I flourished. In running away from every home I’d known, I found a way of making a home within. That has proven to be just as valuable now as it was back then. In the quiet, snowy start of my first tour, all that lay ahead.

This time around, things are decidedly different, but in many respects I’m still the same person who set off with my friend Ann to parts not-so-unknown. The Tour Book is a bit better (professionally printed, and a whopping 232 pages – a far cry from the hastily-assembled black-and-white photo-copies from the basement of the Brandeis Library) and my style is slightly more refined (never again will I be mistaken for a clown at Ponderosa), but the same wonderful cast of characters awaits my arrival, and the same joy I felt at seeing friends and family in the heightened sate of Touring is about to be revisited.

The Final Tour.

The very last time.

And you’re invited to come along for the journey…

“You’re not well enough for the story they’ve planned.” ~ Isabella Blow

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A Grandly Gratuitous Pietro Boselli Post

When someone as physically fine as Pietro Boselli poses for an Attitude cover story, it deserves a post of its own. Mr. Boselli is the math teacher who took the gay internet by storm with his banging body and dreamy good looks, and he’s going even further in this photo shoot for the popular British rag. Of course he’s already been named a Hunk of the Day, but he’s likely due for a second run any day now. Enough of my yammering, you just want to see the goods.

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A Wish & A Fragrant Prayer

With Tom Ford’s Private Blend summer offering, Fleur de Portofino, proving a little too floral for my taste, I’m requesting an easier and more financially reasonable wish for an anniversary gift from Andy. This month marks our 15th year together – a whole decade and a half – but rather than go for the extravagant, I’m keeping it tried and true with this summer request from Hermès. (Besides, people should be getting the big guns ready for my 40th birthday.)

In his last official submission as their cologne guru, Jean-Claude Ellena has crafted ‘Le Jardin de Monsieur Li‘, inspired by a fictional Chinese garden. Slightly reminiscent of ‘Un Jardin après la Mousson‘ (one of my favorites) this is a gorgeous watery scent, evoking aquatic gardens and summer evenings. As the sun sets on Ellena’s glorious Hermès run, the gorgeous swan song of Mr. Li is a beautiful way to complete this line.

[‘Le Jardin de Monsieur Li’ is available at Sephora (online here, or on the right side of the Colonie Center store). The 3.3 oz. Just saying.]

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Madcap Madonna Memories

Many summer memories were signified by Madonna, such as this one, which marked the very first Madonna Timeline entry: ‘Who’s That Girl.’ On this hazy, lazy, sultry Friday in July, here are a few more memories inspired by Madonna, my ultimate muse.

Another early-entry on the timeline was this glimpse of the future, love.

Despite its October peak, ‘Cherish’ was a quintessential Madonna summer song for me, thanks to its beachy video and lighthearted feel.

Summer sometimes burns jealously, red-hot and heartrending, but she’s still not me.

Sing it, Shanti, sing it for the summer.

Waging a war between good and evil can be a bore.

You can just spank me.

Well the years they flew, and we never knew, we were foolish then.

Come join the party, cause anybody just won’t do.

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Cuteness

A mid-day dose of cuteness to push us all the way to the weekend.

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Heat & Humidity & One Big Hole

Summer can be sticky, but we haven’t had enough of it yet to start complaining. Still, the humidity of the last few days has begun to feel oppressive. The sky wants to let loose with a storm, but the air is holding onto every drop of moisture as though afraid to release it now. Perhaps air knows something sky doesn’t, that to let go of itself at this point would prove far too perilous than trying to hang onto what little it has. Sooner or later we all get a little desperate.

This past Sunday I finally had the chance to simply float in the pool. Up until now, I haven’t had the opportunity or luxury to do so, in spite of all appearances otherwise. Those whose lives appear the most effortless are often paddling double-time beneath the surface. Just don’t call me Howard the Duck until I get lift off.

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The Ever-Impressive Ben Cohen

Hot on the heels of his grooming product release (including a citrusy Eau de Toilette), Ben Cohen is currently finishing up his autobiography, set for a September release. While I’ve never been  big fan of the genre, exceptions must be made, particularly in the case of a Mr. Cohen (see Andy.) He’s got a grand story to tell, both for his accomplishments and tragedies, and I can’t wait to read it. )If he’s wise, he’ll include some behind-the-scenes stories of photo shoots like these. Or just some photos.

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The Nude Justin Bieber Photo

Not really sure what to say about the recent photo that Justin Bieber put up on Instragram… My ass certainly wouldn’t fly if I put this on Instagram, but maybe he’s taken it down already. He was kinda naked already on this blog, and was definitely in nothing but his underwear. As for the fully naked shot below, have at it. I’m neither impressed nor unimpressed.

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A Recap Sliding Into Summer Vacay Mode

Though there is no summer vacation for us coming up, I finally finished the bulk of project work this past weekend (and clocking in at 232 pages it’s one of the grander works I’ve created). After downloading it to the printer, I spent much of yesterday by the pool, alternately pruning the overgrown backyard cherries and reading on a float. The latter was the more fun of the two, but the former needed to be done. It was the first time I’ve felt relaxed since serious project work began three month ago. Now we settle into promotional mode, but first the weekly look back.

Let’s begin with another back – Britain’s Best Bottom, Darius Ferdynand.

Pruning was a major theme of the week, literally and figuratively.

July – past, present… and future.

The smoking-hot Alexander Ludwig made his debut in the Hunk of the Day feature.

Yes, July is in full-effect.

Channing Tatum gave good face.

Pool Party of One, times two.

My Fourth of July memories needed a little help.

My brother needs a little help too.

Beautiful and damned.

Where the men get sweaty and naked in the name of ESPN.

 

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Nude Male Sports

Like Greek Gods and Goddesses, the most stunning wardrobe most athletes can don is nothing but their skin. It’s an art form really, to sculpt your frame into something akin to a statue through hard work and competition. Luckily, that is being captured, and by an entity whose acronym remains a mystery to me. There’s only one thing that ESPN has proven good for over the years: the Body Issue of their publication, in which they coax the fittest players into taking off all their clothes and posing for action shots of their preferred sport in the buff. It’s resulted in some stellar exhibitions by Michael Phelps, Rob Gronkowski, Evan Lysacek, Matt Harvey, Giancarlo Stanton and Tomas Berdych.

The latest edition provides a pair of pectacular gentlemen: Bryce Harper and Stan Wawrinka. Feast your eyes upon their fit bodies, and a bonus video of Mr. Harper for those who want to see things in motion.

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A Beautiful Rope of Words

There was one of his lonelinesses coming, one of those times when he walked the streets or sat, aimless and depressed, biting a pencil at his desk. It was a self-absorption with no comfort, a demand for expression with no outlet, a sense of time rushing by, ceaselessly and wastefully – assuaged only by that conviction that there was nothing to waste, because all efforts and attainments were equally valueless.” ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, ‘The Beautiful And Damned’

“I shall go on shining as a brilliantly meaningless figure in a meaningless world.” ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, ‘The Beautiful And Damned’

“I had traded the fight against love for the fight against loneliness, the fight against life for the fight against death.” ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, ‘The Beautiful And Damned’

“There was a kindliness about intoxication – there was that indescribable gloss and glamour it gave, like the memories of ephemeral and faded evenings.” ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, ‘The Beautiful And Damned’

“The notion of sitting down and conjuring up, not only words in which to clothe thoughts but thoughts worthy of being clothed–the whole thing was absurdly beyond his desires.” ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, ‘The Beautiful And Damned’

“Routine comes down like twilight on a harsh landscape, softening it until it is tolerable. The complexity is too subtle, too varied; the values are changing utterly with each lesion of vitality; it has begun to appear that we can learn nothing from the past with which to face the future… so we cease to be impulsive, convincible men, interested in what is ethically true by fine margins, we substitute rules of conduct for ideas of integrity, we value safety above romance, we become, quite unconsciously, pragmatic.” ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, ‘The Beautiful And Damned’

He was handsome then if never before, bound for one of those immortal moments which come so radiantly that their remembered light is enough to see by for years.” ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, ‘The Beautiful And Damned’

“I’ve got a streak of what you’d call cheapness. I don’t know where I get it but it’s oh, things like this and bright colors and gaudy vulgarity. I seem to belong here. These people could appreciate me and take me for granted, and these men would fall in love with me and admire me, whereas the clever men I meet would just analyze me and tell me I’m this because of this or that because of that.” ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, ‘The Beautiful And Damned’

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The Stubborn Foolishness of My Brother

My brother can be a bit slow-on-the-uptake sometimes. I say this out of love and exasperation, and anyone who knows him – really knows him – knows it’s true. Case in point: this text “exchange” between my brother and my… brother. His texts are on the left, in gray, while I’m on the right in blue. Remember that. He’s in gray, I’m in blue.

As you can see, he initially asks if I’m going to Boston, then apparently thinks his follow-up of ‘I was planning on going’ was written by me. (It took me a while to figure out what had happened – I only read the series after he was in the midst of a little conniption fit. Those first few texts on the left are all him. How a person doesn’t realize what they’re texting and responding to is beyond me.

It’s just a classic (and comical) illustration of what it’s like to argue with him (and why I don’t bother. There are some levels of ignorance that can’t be reasoned against, so I don’t.)
At first I was confused, hence my question of what he’s talking about. It becomes clear in the next screen:

So, my brother got into an argument with himself, had a text conversation with himself, and made a complete fool of himself. Somehow, mark my word, I’ll be blamed for this.
For the record, the only weekend I told him I’d be in Boston thus far this summer was my 40th birthday weekend in August, which he has already claimed as his own because he wants to see a concert. I’m trying to make other plans for that weekend now, because as selfish as everyone thinks I am, I don’t hold a candle to my brother. Even when it’s my 40th birthday.

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