Author Archives: Alan Ilagan

Madonna has been indulging in a bit of nostalgia on her current Celebration Tour (which I finally got the chance to attend, and it was everything I wanted it to be and more). I find myself in the same headspace of looking back, especially with recent reunions with old friends from many, many years ago. The older I get, the more that tends to happen, as the majority of my life begins to fade into the rear-view window of this vehicle called existence. A weighty statement that is best left in that faded view, along with this weekly recap.

It began with this bit of trash talk.

All rose, no leather.

The month for meditation.

My grandmother’s waltz.

Flowers in the winter.

Silent snow, not at all secret snow.

My ass-crack deserves its own #TinyThreads post.

A glowing review of Madonna’s Celebration Tour – her greatest comeback thus far.

Tree of perspective.

Mundane life-shot.

Aaron Taylor-Johnson walked so Jeremy Allen White could run.

Oscar Wilde is almost always accurate.

Hygge happens here.

More of Jeremy Allen White in his underwear.

Nostalgia overload: old acquaintance, not forgot. 

Dazzlers of the Day included Da’Vine Joy Randolph, Katie Phang, Issa Rae, Paul Giamatti, and Steven Romo.

“It’s late and I’m very, very tired of youth and love and self-sacrifice.” ~ Kit Marlowe, ‘Old Acquaintance’

When my friend LeeMichael proposed seeing Madonna’s Celebration Tour together, I hesitated. First, I wanted to be sure that Andy wasn’t interested in seeing it with me, as he is my husband and we’ve enjoyed seeing her together in the past, though I did get the feeling he was only humoring me much of the time. When he said he didn’t mind if I went with LeeMichael, we got the tickets and planned to attend.

The August dates originally scheduled for Madonna’s Boston shows were soon scrapped as she delayed due to her scary hospital stint, then rescheduled for this month. That allowed for a couple of dinners to plan wardrobe for our attendance. These were the things one did when you were ride-or-die Team Madonna. They were also the flimsy trappings of an excuse to have dinner with an old acquaintance who had somehow grown into an old friend after all our years together. We occupy unique places in each other’s lives; I don’t know anyone else with whom I shared a single date, proceeded to stalk, and then somehow persisted in winning over as a friend. (And I’m pretty sure he has not become as close to any of his former stalkers either.)

Our unique history, after that awkward beginning, in many respects started its friendship phase in 2001 when we saw each other in the sea of people that was exiting Madonna’s ‘Drowned World Tour’ – so our attendance at her Celebration tour decades later felt like a full circle moment (something we’d been rather adept at creating as evidenced by this ‘Sunset Boulevard’ recollection). We reconnected then and have somehow kept in touch with annual and semi-annual dinners and shows through the years – often at pivotal moments, such as just after he met the man who would become his husband, then right around the time of our respective weddings, and every few months to catch up on where our lives were at. We shared one dinner around the time when I had just stopped drinking, and at a time in life when I needed to be around people who were supportive and safe, he fulfilled that role. 

My pessimism often gets the better of me, so whenever I send him a text out of the blue, I always expect him to decline and put it off, but he’s usually game for a night out. After knowing him for twenty-seven (eek!) years, some of them very difficult years, there is a new comfort in our friendship, one that wasn’t there before. 

As he dropped me off after the show, ‘Crazy For You’ played in the car, and I think he said it was kind of fitting, given the crazy years that came before – and, finally, I could truly laugh at it – laugh, and let it go. 

As I went to bed that night, I watched a bit of ‘Old Acquaintance’ – a Bette Davis film about a friendship that somehow survives a lifetime. The universe often winks like that when you need a little reassurance.  

Recent years have found me making the most of winter by embracing the concept of hygge – a Danish word and idea that loosely translates into the embrace of coziness and warmth in the simple joys that matter, especially when that involves sharing joy with family and friends. In my mind, it’s that cozy feeling produced when you step out of a hot shower in winter and into a plush robe, then pull on a pair of your fluffiest socks before snuggling into a favored nook on a couch beside a loved one. That’s a ridiculously specific description of a feeling of coziness, but it works for me. You might find hygge in the simple lighting of a candle on these dark winter nights, and a vase of evergreen sprigs seeing us through a snowy spell. Suzie finds it in listening to the Danish String Quartet, and there’s something to that if you’ll give them a listen. 

Hygge has found its way into a number of posts here, and is a wonderful way to wind our path along winter. You are invited to explore more of it in the links that follow, and to make your own customs and habits – whatever gets you through the darker seasons.

Breaking the morning in candlelight is kinder than clicking on any lamp or overhead light. 

Partaking of hygge before I even heard of the word in the decades-long crocheting of this blanket. A different kind of blanket can be found in the falling of snow. 

Setting a hygge scene can be as simple or as cheesy or as meaningful as you want it to be. 

Conjuring moments of coziness and pockets of peaceful comfort, hygge can be crafted and celebrated in numerous ways. 

Dancing in the hygge flames is one way of staying warm.

Much of hygge rightfully centers on family and friends, and this day with Dad will always be one of my favorite winter memories.

The heat of the kitchen makes for a few cozy moments to stave off winter cold and hunger, as do snow-covered winter weekends with visiting friends and family.

Through the bleak winter wilderness, there are ways of finding warmth and light. 

Holiday sparkle is largely made of hygge.

Hunker down here and we’ll make our way through this winter together.