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Old Acquaintance, Not Forgot

“It’s late and I’m very, very tired of youth and love and self-sacrifice.” ~ Kit Marlowe, ‘Old Acquaintance’

When my friend LeeMichael proposed seeing Madonna’s Celebration Tour together, I hesitated. First, I wanted to be sure that Andy wasn’t interested in seeing it with me, as he is my husband and we’ve enjoyed seeing her together in the past, though I did get the feeling he was only humoring me much of the time. When he said he didn’t mind if I went with LeeMichael, we got the tickets and planned to attend.

The August dates originally scheduled for Madonna’s Boston shows were soon scrapped as she delayed due to her scary hospital stint, then rescheduled for this month. That allowed for a couple of dinners to plan wardrobe for our attendance. These were the things one did when you were ride-or-die Team Madonna. They were also the flimsy trappings of an excuse to have dinner with an old acquaintance who had somehow grown into an old friend after all our years together. We occupy unique places in each other’s lives; I don’t know anyone else with whom I shared a single date, proceeded to stalk, and then somehow persisted in winning over as a friend. (And I’m pretty sure he has not become as close to any of his former stalkers either.)

Our unique history, after that awkward beginning, in many respects started its friendship phase in 2001 when we saw each other in the sea of people that was exiting Madonna’s ‘Drowned World Tour’ – so our attendance at her Celebration tour decades later felt like a full circle moment (something we’d been rather adept at creating as evidenced by this ‘Sunset Boulevard’ recollection). We reconnected then and have somehow kept in touch with annual and semi-annual dinners and shows through the years – often at pivotal moments, such as just after he met the man who would become his husband, then right around the time of our respective weddings, and every few months to catch up on where our lives were at. We shared one dinner around the time when I had just stopped drinking, and at a time in life when I needed to be around people who were supportive and safe, he fulfilled that role. 

My pessimism often gets the better of me, so whenever I send him a text out of the blue, I always expect him to decline and put it off, but he’s usually game for a night out. After knowing him for twenty-seven (eek!) years, some of them very difficult years, there is a new comfort in our friendship, one that wasn’t there before. 

As he dropped me off after the show, ‘Crazy For You’ played in the car, and I think he said it was kind of fitting, given the crazy years that came before – and, finally, I could truly laugh at it – laugh, and let it go. 

As I went to bed that night, I watched a bit of ‘Old Acquaintance’ – a Bette Davis film about a friendship that somehow survives a lifetime. The universe often winks like that when you need a little reassurance.  

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