Category Archives: Gay

A number of people I know – along with several studies on the issue – have claimed that a high percentage of homophobic people are actually gay themselves. I’ve always had a hard time believing that. Maybe I’m naive and foolish enough to think that most people aren’t so stupid and self-defeating, and maybe I’m just completely wrong. The only time I wonder about the phenomenon of homophobic man as closeted homosexual is when someone is so fixated on gay people that it’s all they talk about. Rick Santorum and Mike Huckabee come to mind, and now these Benham Brothers – who were set to have their own HGTV home improvement show until their anti-gay vitriol was discovered. Now, it’s like someone unlocked their mouths and all that’s coming out of them is cock talk. I mean, I don’t even think about gay sex as much as these dudes do. And so I’m left to wonder…

When their show was canceled before it even began, they posted this YouTube video. I lost count of all the double-entendres very quickly after one referred to the other as his “sister” and they started rattling off ‘The Three C’s’ that rule their lives. Yes, really. Watch:

A couple of days ago, they posted a big Bible-thumping article on how all the North Carolina shenanigans of late (you know, how the whole world is basically pulling out from a state that’s going to espouse such hateful “values” – and everyone knows that good Christians never pull out) are an attack on their religion. It’s more nonsense, but here are a few excerpts that better showcase their moronic hatred than my rhetoric could ever approach:

“Last week was a crazy week for the state of North Carolina. The hoopla around HB2 (House Bill 2), which overturned Charlotte’s radical bathroom bill, indicates just how demanding and pervasive the roots of the sexual revolution are in our country. And it reveals the direction in which we are headed as a nation…

This is the pattern of the sexual revolution’s mob, surrounding its prey, forcing its will on all who stand in the way.

Yet this is nothing new. As Scripture says, “There’s nothing new under the sun.” Today’s sexual revolution is simply new fruit coming from the same vine – the vine of Sodom.

In Genesis 19, we see how Sodom reacted to the men of God who came to Lot’s house:

“Before they lay down, the men of the city, the men of Sodom, surrounded the house, both young and old, all the people from every quarter; and they called out to Lot and said to him, ‘Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us that we may have relations with them’” (19:4-5).

Today, the sexual revolution of Sodom has pervaded every sphere of society, capturing both young and old. And anyone standing in the way will be surrounded by an angry mob demanding participation…

As the men of Sodom surrounded the house, Lot offered them his daughters, which reveals how pathetic he had become as a father. Yet they refused his accommodation – and it got even nastier:

“So they pressed hard against Lot and came near to break the door” (19:9b).

The “vine” of Sodom in a nation forces participation against the will of the people. It refuses to be told, “No.”

The story continues as the mob pressed against Lot and was struck with blindness, yet the rage continued:

“They struck the men with blindness, both small and great, so that they wearied themselves trying to find the doorway” (19:11).

Wouldn’t getting struck with blindness not sober you up a bit? Yet they “wearied themselves to get to the door!” The sexual revolution is “blind” to its own rage and hate. It has no capacity for reason. It has no ability to see its own hypocrisy or discern its hopeless future. It just forces itself on others regardless of cost or consequence.

Although Lot escaped the city of Sodom, the “vine of Sodom” left with him and eventually took root in the nation of Israel many years later. And it’s still alive today.”

““For they are a nation lacking in counsel, and there is no understanding in them. Would that they were wise, that they understood this, that they would discern their future. … For their vine is from the vine of Sodom, and from the fields of Gomorrah; their grapes are grapes of poison, their clusters, bitter. Their wine is the venom of serpents, and the deadly poison of cobras” (Deuteronomy 32:28-30, 32-33).

What we are witnessing today in America is the vine of Sodom, which is a deadly poison that erodes the moral fabric of a nation. It’s demanding and pervasive, and it refuses to be told, “No.” All across Europe and now throughout America the vine has taken root and is surrounding its prey, and nothing short of a miracle will stop its deadly poison.

Yet it wasn’t the city of Sodom or the people that were the problem; it was the spiritual “vine” of sin that had taken root and perverted the nation. Interestingly, rampant homosexuality was not the “root” of sin in Sodom, but rather the effects of the real root. The prophet Ezekiel said, “‘Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy” (Ezekiel 16:49).

The fertile soil that makes the “vine of Sodom” grow in a nation is when the people are arrogant, overfed and unconcerned. In their pride, they reject God and indulge themselves endlessly, and they are concerned about nobody but themselves. To be honest, this sounds more like professing “Christians” today than anyone.

So today, the newest fruit of the vine of Sodom is the sexual revolution – and it’s poisoning our land. It has nearly taken over everything and is forcing itself on everyone.

Yet it cannot ultimately be removed by “fire and brimstone” from heaven or “common sense laws” from earth. Its ultimate defeat will come when we humble ourselves in repentance and seek God’s face once again. Only the Gospel of Jesus Christ has the power to defeat the real root of the “vine of Sodom.””

I guess my question is: why do they care so much? If what we’re doing as a gay people is so sinful, that’s on us. How does it affect anyone, least of all these two Christians? That’s the part I don’t get. Thankfully, I don’t know either David or Jason Benham. I have no reason to believe either of them are gay. I do, however, have to wonder why they are so obsessed with gay people and gay sex when it really has nothing to do with them. Unless it does…?

When Kim Davis first refused to issue same-sex marriage certificates even after the Supreme Court declared it law, I took it all with a grain of salt. The will of the highest court in the country seemingly meant nothing to her, and though it was an aggressive, and downright mean, act to perpetrate against a couple that simply wanted to get married (at its heart, Ms. Davis, that’s what you’re doing, under the guise of religion), I still decided to let her nonsense play out.

Let’s be reasonable, something that people in support of Ms. Davis and “religious freedom” seem incapable of being. Kim Davis has been married four times. She’s been divorced three times. If we’re going to go by ‘God’s law’ then Ms. Davis is already in for a hellaciously hot future. Targeting innocent gay and lesbian couples who want only to celebrate their love (as she got to do four times already) is not endearing her to anyone’s God. I thought for sure the loonies would see that much, but they and Ms. Davis herself have proven capable of stupidity beyond my wildest imagination. Even then I joked a bit, saying that I didn’t understand how someone so badly in need of a makeover could alienate so many gay men.

But today, after her umpteenth appeal was denied, and after she still refused to do her damn job and issue marriage licenses, I’m just pissed. I work for the government too, but if I behaved the way she did I’d be disciplined big time. Her job is to issue marriage licenses, not administer a religious sacrament. There is a distinct separation of church and state written into the constitution, and it’s there for precisely this reason.

Let’s say, for example, that my religion is fashion. Not a far-fetched example, quite frankly. And let’s say that I’m vociferously against Crocs and cargo shorts, that I think anyone who wears them is going to hell, and that I don’t want to be affiliated with them in any way. As much as I’d like to not help them, if my job calls upon me to provide information that they need to do their job, if I have to help them or support them in the course of the day, as a state worker I have to do so. I can’t refuse because I don’t believe in Crocs or cargo shorts.

Or better yet, let’s say that I don’t believe in working a full day. My beliefs are that I need a siesta from noon to five, and after that I need a period to relax and meditate. It goes directly against the hours that I’m supposed to work, but hey, those are my beliefs and everyone who knows me will most definitely attest to this. Can I just leave my job at noon based on these staunchly-held beliefs?

That’s exactly what Ms. Davis is doing right now. If it were anyone else, they’d be disciplined, if not fired. How many times does she need to be instructed to uphold the law of the country and do her job as a government employee? I think she’s had her chance. Either do your job, or resign. Stop getting paid for services you refuse to render.

My husband and my brother follow each other on Instagram, which I find both amusing and confusing. (My brother started and quickly stopped following me a long time ago.) Anyway, a couple of nights ago Andy sent him a picture of some car that he thought my nephew would like (it had what can only be described as wings (or raised fins) on the back, and it looked cool to me). Rather than responding with a simple ‘Ha!’ (my stock go-to reply to anything that neither impresses nor bothers me much) or a dismissive ‘Not his style’ my brother sends one word as his response: “Gay.”

I know I shouldn’t expect less, and certainly not more, but at this stage of his adult life, and at this formative point in his own children’s lives, to toss the word ‘gay’ around in an apparently derogatory manner is just offensive. When he gets angry, or just casually describes someone be doesn’t like, I’ve heard him use the term ‘faggot’, which he once explained did not mean anything against gay people, it was just a term for something stupid. That excuse no longer flies with me. It never did.

My brother probably won’t ever change. I’ve implored him not to say such things, I’ve screamed and yelled, I’ve spoken calmly and explained that it hurt me personally to hear him use such language, and I’ve told him unequivocally not to talk that way around me, but while it has lessened, it’s still apparently there. Even in the harmless response to a picture of a car he didn’t like.

I’ve long since given up on him. But if his kids should ever say something like that one day, it would break my heart. Kids see and hear everything. Even my non-parenting ass knows that. Words matter. What may be meaningless or insignificant to him might make a world of difference to others. I would hope that message is being passed on to his kids, because if you’re not preparing your children to be open and embracing of difference, you’re setting them up to fail in this diverse future.

As I was sliding down a maudlin hill contemplating all of it, I was reminded by Suzie that I should help do my own bit of education. So let’s turn this into a teachable moment for all those people who say something is ‘gay’ without meaning disrespect to those of us who are in fact gay. Here you go:

Mike Pence, Governor of Indiana, has gotten himself into a bit of a pickle with his Religious Freedom Restoration Act, which paves the way for legalized discrimination against gays and lesbians. I’ve been galvanized by the swift and strong reaction to Governor Pence’s proposal. The problem for Pence and anyone who doesn’t believe in equality is that the majority of people are no longer going to allow such thinly-veiled acts of discrimination to exist without a battle – and that battle isn’t yet harming gays and lesbians, it’s hurting the state of Indiana. Hardly effective leadership for someone who is, say, the Governor.

If the growing boycotts and unprecedented backlash against Pence and his problematic religious freedom fight are indication of anything, it’s that this country, and this world, will not stand for discrimination against the LGBT community. It’s simply unacceptable to treat a gay person as anything less than a human being. We have the same rights and privileges as any other human being.

For me, it’s pretty simple: if you are open to the public, you have to serve the public. Gay, straight, black, white, Christian, Muslim, mean, nice, pretty or ugly ~ everyone. Do you have to become gay if you serve a gay person? No. Do you have to stop believing in Jesus Christ if you serve a Buddhist? No. Do you have to give up your Prada bag if you serve someone wearing Crocs? No.

We’ve had this argument before, but the world has changed and evolved a lot in the last few years. As the vitriolic response to Pence has proven, setting the stage for discrimination is not only bad policy, it’s bad business. I don’t feel the need to pontificate upon it any further, and the good thing is that there are other far more powerful entities willing to do so. The corporate world is standing against it and taking millions of dollars away from Indiana. Sports teams are considering pulling their biggest events out of the state. Other governors have banned travel and non-essential trips to the state of Indiana. The irony is that Mike Pence’s religious freedom act, far from helping or aiding Indiana, has served only to harm and inflict financial pain upon its own constituents. That’s the problem with anything rooted in hatred: the underlying nature of the beast will ultimately devour itself.