If I wasn’t envious enough of the blessed body, the chiseled face, and the perfect package, I would be envious of the fact that the Hunk of the Day Barrett Pall was recently performing in my dream gig: as the bartender of the ‘Watch What Happens Live’ Playhouse, and personally mixing cocktails for the one and only Andy Cohen. Yeah, that stings a little, but to the beauty go the spoils.
When writing about someone as gorgeous as Mr. Pall, I try to uncover something that makes him a little more relatable, a little more human, a bit more, well, mortal – because no one should be that perfect. His bio doesn’t do much to make me feel better about myself, reading like a much more well-rounded and successful person than I could ever hope to be: writer, model, fitness instructor, personal trainer, fashion lover, world traveler, foodie, life coach and all around good guy.
I thought I might find some less-than-stellar dirt on his website, Artisan & King, but that space turns out to be as perfect as everything else about him. (Grrrr…) I was especially impressed with the ‘Feelings‘ portion of his site, and this passage about a break-up:
This thing called a break-up is made even harder when one person has not done anything immensely wrong. It is simply a difference of the minds, of the hearts, of the souls. A love tank empty, a heart broken, an intertwined spirit unraveled.
There are many different scenarios that lead to break ups, but one thing is certain the love does not just disappear. You may do the breaking up, or you may be the one broken up with, but if the love was real, neither side of this lackluster coin feels like “winning.”
You shared couches, meals, memories. You became each other’s best friend, confidant, partner. You enhanced each other’s comfort, ease, understanding. You started to build a life, introduced family, talked about the future. This person was not your everything, but rather the missing piece.
Then things changed.
The thoughtfulness, the acts of love, the communication all got lost in translation, or simply never arrived. You start to feel the exact opposite of how this person originally made you feel. Your happiness fades. Your eyes tire from tears. You know this simply is not working.
You’ve tried different ways to make yourself heard. You’ve made changes. You’ve done work.
You’ve given hints. You’ve been explicit. You’ve done it all. ~ Barrett Pall
It would be made easier if someone had done something awful, but the truth is nothing makes this easier. Anger only masks the pain and sadness that eventually comes. You wish things had been different, but wishing only makes wishes. Actions had not been employed, and you are left with a heavy heart, not a heart-happy one.
You think back to the times it was magic, and it only makes it sadder.
You could be immature and negative, but it gets you no where, so you choose to honor the love you had, respect the time you spent together, and think of a future when maybe, just maybe, you and your ex can be friends.
Break-ups are not the end, nor are they the beginning. They are simply a time in your life that you must allow yourself to be present with some of your deepest feelings; feelings that surround your own happiness and ultimate life.
We must understand that if there was true love present then we were gifted one of the greatest pleasures of life.
We are not to speak poorly, focus on the bad times and leave that time in our lives in a box. We are meant to take the things we learned from that person, and cherish them, so that we may continue to grow. We shall plant a seed deep inside of us with that person’s name so that a tree of knowledge can grow from the things we learned. We must honor the relationship, the good times, the love, so that we may ultimately honor ourselves. ~ Barrett Pall
So… yeah. I got nothing. No critique, no faults to find, nothing but admiration. Luckily, what I’m left with is inspiration – so I guess I got something after all – and a pretty substantial something at that.