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Author Archives: Alan Ilagan

Fare Thee Well, Miss May

The last day of May is too soon at hand, and with it goes the last full month of spring. That means summer fun is right around the corner, as well as a long-desired break from this blog (for you and me both). Things are moving swiftly in the garden right now, with flower after flower quickly blooming then moving on to the next species. This is the problem with warming up so fast after being cold for so long: plants will rush to make up for lost time, getting it over with sooner than we’d like. Nature likes to keep her appointments.

Case in point was this Kwanzan cherry tree, which had a banner year of blooms. They put on a show for almost a week before being ripped from their branches in a single morning of rain and wind. The petals poured down like a heavy snow, littering the pool and ground with an enchanting layer of pink.

Before they went, however, I captured these shots, freezing them forever at the height of their glory. It’s the only way we have of keeping them. That and these words. Both have power.

Mere memory is fallible.

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Semi-Formal Fabulousness for Pride

Next Thursday, June 1, marks the Semi-Formal event for this year’s Pride festivities in Albany, NY: the GLSEN Gala. It is one of my favorite events, and this year there is a Roaring 20’s Gatsby Theme (which we’ve done a number of times but still isn’t quite old). I love a dressy event, especially one that does so much good in the world. Here’s the info – hope to see you there:

GLSEN-NYCR is proud to present our Roaring 20th Annivsery GLSEN Gala! The black tie is entirely optional but Feather Boas & headbands are strongly encouraged!

Come celebrate a “roaring” 20 years with us, as we continue to fund the Safe Schools Advocacy & Bullying Prevention Work of GLSEN NYCR, right here in the Capital Region of Upstate NY.

Our mission is to ensure that every member of every school community is valued and respected regardless of sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression.

Please purchase tickets here, all ticket funds go to GLSEN-NYCR! –> https://donate-newyorkcapitalregion.glsen.org/page/contribute/roaring-twentieth-anniversary

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Valley Bouquet

Lee Bailey was right, as he so often was: it takes a lot of lily-of-the-valley blooms to make a semi-decent bouquet. Fortunately for us (for the most part, with the minor exception of where they’re escaping into the lawn and garden) we have several semi-wild patches of these that have naturalized themselves to the point where we have hundreds of blooms to utilize. To be honest, they’ve proliferated to the point of being a nuisance, but they’re a beautiful nuisance, and at this time of the year they fill the yard with their intoxicating perfume. It was a favorite of my grandmother’s, and they always remind me of her.

I picked these while they were nearing their finish; it will actually divert energy into the root system. Rather than work on setting seed, they will spread by rhizome, popping up through the smallest cracks in a make-do patio. If you want to get a good, healthy clump started, pile on the manure in the fall or winter. They adore it. Leave it out if you want them less robust. One cow’s shit is a lily’s supper. Or, eat shit and prosper. A happy garden is a dirty business.

After amassing all the stems in a simple glass vase, something still felt off. I tried adjusting their placement, but there’s really only so much one can do in this situation, and I’m not quite evolved enough to bunch them in one section as seems to be all the rage in the florist business these days. I realized it was just too formal and monotonous, so I went back outside and plucked a few sets of leaves. It made all the difference.

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Unofficial Summer Start Recap

The unofficial start of the summer season is upon us, and with it the pleasures of the pool extend to the blog. As a Korean lilac spreads its sweet perfume poolside, and a single Rosa rugosa bloom draws focus among the fresh green, I paddle peacefully and pause in the day. A look back at the week that came before…

It began with my review of ‘Dear Even Hansen’ – a show you must see. 

Sky, moon and star.

Praying she makes it

There is beauty in downtown Albany

I caught this Lyft driver texting while driving

A little bauble can make a big difference.

Who wants a break this summer?

Zac Efron filling out a patriotic Speedo

Virtual Ogunquit

I had a dream about Cher.

Hunks of the Day included Ben Platt, Josh Brolin, Troy Pes and Lachlan Carter.

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A Dream of Cher

Who doesn’t love Cher? At one point or another we have all enjoyed one of her songs, one of her movies, or one of her scathing tweets. Personally, I’ve done all three, multiple times. She’s one of those pop culture constants that has nothing left to prove but still manages to make a splash or marker in each of the last five decades. Pretty impressive body of work.

As much as I adore her, I’ve never dreamt about her until last week. It was a remarkably happy dream (most of mine are not). We were in the audience watching Bette Midler in ‘Hello Dolly!’ – don’t ask how we got tickets, or how I happened to be seated next to Cher, but there we were. Strangely, it was Cher who donned the traditional Dolly Levi garb – big feathered hat, tight bodice, flaming red velvet dress – and I was so star-struck by her and her proximity to me that I babbled some nonsense on how big an inspiration she has always been. She seemed touched by my genuine fandom, and grabbed my arm, pulling me through time and space as can only happen in a dream, and suddenly we were inside her beach-house.

A couple of younger guys, who seemed to be transient son figures with their own rooms and section of the house, looked at me warily, annoyed that I had come. Cher was suddenly missing, so I walked around alone, looking out all the windows at where the house was situated on the beach so I could locate it the next day and tell all my friends I had been in Cher’s house.

Eventually she came back, in more casual garb, her dark hair down in loose waves, running a little longer than shoulder-length. A good look for her. I told her how beautiful her house was and she beamed, joining me in looking out at the beach. It was night, but we knew the ocean was there. All we could see was the sand in the immediate house light. What was beyond extended into darkness. It would be brilliant during the day.

She took me on a quick tour of other rooms, but my eyes stayed on the windows, fixated on the beach. I tried voicing my lifelong adoration for her, which I was certain she’d heard a million times before. Still, we each want to connect to our celebrities, to make it known how much they really meant to us, how long and how hard we have loved them. She was gracious, and seemed genuinely touched. I want to believe that. And I wanted to believe the dream.

A fallen bottle of Tylenol in the kitchen woke me to Andy’s late-night maneuvers, and the dream dissipated into darkness.

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Virtual Ogunquit

I planted this Rosa rugosa last year when we couldn’t make it to Ogunquit for Memorial Day weekend. I was hoping its blooms would remind us of the town we so love when we couldn’t be there. This year marks the second time in as many years where we won’t be in Ogunquit for this weekend, so I’m making this post to virtually bring us back to that Beautiful Place By The Sea. It’s the next best thing, and when we’re home-away-from-homesick, this is how we cope.

Lulled by the sea.

Sepia tones.

Holding hands.

Beautiful even in the fall. 

Naked at the beach.

Holding the ocean in our hands.

More fall beauty.

Fall booty. 

Maine woods.

Secret birthday surprise. 

October in Ogunquit. 

The rain in Maine.

Good eats.

To the lighthouse.

A secret garden.

The sun also rises.

Still more eats.

Sea breeze.

Family fun.

A mountain in Maine.

Spring glory.

Friendly faces.

From sweater to underwear.

The hand having writ.

Along the Marginal Way.

Ogunquit beauty.

A garden in bloom.

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Zac Efron’s Freedom Speedo

In anticipation of summer and patriotism, here is Zac Efron in his Freedom Speedo. Mr. Efron is no stranger to being an American hero, as evidenced by similar Speedo posts here and here. And then there’s the All-American act of getting totally starkers for the pleasure of his fans, as he did here and here

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Preparing For Summer Break

Last summer I took my first break from daily blogging in over a dozen years.

It was heaven, even it wasn’t for forever.

I’m doing the same thing this year, extending it from June 20 (or so) into September. That means we’re less than a month away from our big summer break! I don’t use exclamation points lightly around here, so you know this is exciting for me.

It is my intention to do a few sporadic update posts this summer, particularly when whispers of a new Madonna song carry on the wind. I also like the random surprise nature of such a thing, when there’s the likelihood that only a few people will happen upon these unplanned posts. There’s a pleasant aspect of whimsy in the unexpected.

When we return in September, there will hopefully be a reenergized vibe, as there often is upon getting back into the groove after time away. I’m also working on a new project that should be ready for unveiling by late fall (and simultaneously eyeing the project after that, which is how I work best). All in all, this is a time of anticipation – the greatest time of all.

There are a few summer highlights to which I’m looking forward: the world premiere of the ‘Moulin Rouge’ musical in Boston, and my annual BroSox adventure with Skip, also in Boston. In addition, Andy and I celebrate our 18thanniversary in July, and I’ll have yet another birthday in August (already lost track of which one…)

The rest is happily unplanned and unplotted, as befits the season of lounging.

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The Time Has Come For You To Accessorize For Your Life

Sometimes accessorizing is the only thing that gets one though the day.

This little bauble was a keychain I found on clearance at Neiman Marcus while visiting Chicago last year. I attached it to a navy Ted Baker messenger bag because it brought out the aquamarine accents.

Plus it sparkled.

Everything is better with a bit of sparkle.

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Lord Lyft Us Up

I am not someone who is afflicted with road rage. Thus far, I’ve managed to avoid it as successfully as I’ve avoided poison ivy. Mostly due to circumstances and safety (Andy is usually driving me in Albany, and when I go to Boston I tend to zen out at the wheel or channel my inner Broadway diva.) But sometimes, like on Wolf Road when someone is trying to make a left out of Trader Joe’s, or when someone is texting, I find myself veering into rageful territory.

Such was the case when I was following this car the other day. It was going somewhat slow, but, not being in a rush, I stayed behind it. (It’s such a chore to change lanes sometimes.) Anyway, we reached a stop light and came to a halt. When it turned green all the other lanes were moving except ours. Now, I’m honestly not someone who beeps the moment the light turns green. I know people like that. I am not one of them, I promise you. But this was excessive, and after the slow driving I was starting to think the person had fallen asleep. So I beeped. He didn’t jump. He merely looked up from his phone and started driving again, slowly, and going back to, you guessed it, texting.

Some of us pride ourselves on being rebels. God knows I try to be. But there are certain things, laws mostly, that I don’t rebel against. When it comes to safety and driving, I’ve reached the age where it’s not funny. I’ve had my share of speeding tickets, but that’s it, and I haven’t had one of those in about ten years, knock on wood. When it comes to texting while driving, I am adamantly opposed. It’s as dangerous as drunk driving, and just as stupid. So when I see someone doing it (there are tons on the Mass Pike) it truly bothers me. When I see someone do it on Wolf Road, when a car can sneak into your lane without a moment’s notice, I get really irked. When I see someone do it who is driving a Lyft car, well, you get a blog post like this which I’ll tweet out while tagging the Lyft twitter account.

PS – Is that a Fraternity in Christ license frame?

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Downtown Beauty

Working in downtown Albany has its perks. There’s always somewhere new to go for lunch. (Sadly, the turnover for food places is lamentably swift.) There’s somewhere pretty to walk. (Try the path leading from City Hall to the Legislative Building or the River Walk.) And if you look hard enough, you can come upon visages like this: a peek of sky, of cobblestone street, of rich brick building.

Beauty’s where you find it.

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Paradise Found/Insatiable Thirst

My quest for an Australian tree fern really began the moment I set eyes on the glorious specimens on display at the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum. As with most totems, they signified the beauty of the museum in one towering symbol, and I thought that if I could just grow one in our living room some of that beauty couldn’t help but be conjured as well. (As with most things, the reality of such an attempt is often quite sadder, and a single object from a magical place rarely results in magic. Still, I hoped. Still, I tried.)

For several years, I kept the quest in the back of my mind. I alternated between moments of hopeful ascendancy (if I could just find a young-enough specimen, I could nurture it into liking our little bay window) and hopeless despondency (even if I could find one, it would surely die a certain, and likely quick, death in our dry air). And through it all, when I would occasionally see a small one in a greenhouse, happily reaching its fronds out to the humid environment, I would always chicken out.

Last week in Faddegon’s, after picking up a pair of Lion’s paw plants, I took a detour and explored their greenhouses, where several majestic Australian tree ferns sat freshly-watered in a lush corner. They were magnificent. Their stems were covered in thick hair, their leaves were bright green and dripping with the recent human-made rainfall. They were larger than any of the other specimens I’d encountered there over the years. Most of all, they were beauty incarnate – all delicate elegance and exotic grace.

Seeking a sign, or at least some guidance, I found someone who worked there and asked what the viability of one of the tree ferns surviving outside of a greenhouse environment might be. She said as long as I kept its catch-saucer full of water, it should do fine. I was incredulous. I’d never heard of such a thing. What about root rot? I asked, the most common of indoor plant killers. Not a problem, she said. They drink so much, especially in the typical dry air of our homes, that they need it. She went on to say that she had one going on ten years in her house, and she just kept the catch pot filled with an inch or so of water at all times. Emboldened by this success story, I lifted my chosen plant out of its water bed, let it drip for a bit then brought it to the register. I would take the chance on such beauty.

I brought her home and put her where we get the most light. She stands somewhat awkwardly in the make-do potting system and bowl I set up to keep her wet enough, so don’t judge too harshly just yet. I’ll pot her up prettily enough – for now I just want to see whether she will survive her new environs. The light is slightly lower, as is the humidity – but summer in the northeast will help with that soon enough. As for the water – I’ve been filling it daily, and each day she drinks it down again. That’s a good sign. If the water were just sitting there, I’d wonder at its worth. Perhaps that’s the secret for these beauties after all. If so, she’s worth the pampering.

We are all so thirsty for love.

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Sky, Moon & Star

You cannot see it from the crappy phone grab, but this is a crescent moon in the sky at dusk, along with a single star in the lower right of the frame. It floated above me while I floated in the pool for the first time this year. How many chances do we each get to swim below a crescent moon? I’m taking each and every one I can get.

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Theater Review: ‘Dear Evan Hansen’

Music Box Theatre

Contorted in anguish, his body writhes precariously before an audience, both in the story and on the stage of the Music Box Theatre. His face streams with sweat and tears, his face quivers, and his hands tremble with the weight upon his shoulders. It is the weight of the world – the weight of being a teenager, which, even in the best of possible worlds, is the worst weight of them all. He stumbles to the ground, melting into a pool of angst and despondency, and just when you think you can’t bear the awkward silence and the agonizing quiet, he launches into ‘You Will Be Found’ – the Act One closer that is a high point of ‘Dear Evan Hansen’, last year’s Tony Award winner for Best Musical. And that’s just the emotional roller-coaster of the last ten minutes of the first act.

With its weighty subject matter and grim modern-day depiction of the desolation of an ever-encroaching online world, ‘Dear Evan Hansen’ seems an unlikely choice for Best Musical material, yet somehow the overriding emotional catharsis of the show, along with a powerful set of songs courtesy of Benj Pasek and Justin Paul, makes this a ride worth taking.

It begins in familiar territory for most of us: parent and child growing pains. We’ve all been on one or both ends of that formula, and as the mothers in ‘Anybody Have a Map?’ lament, there is no easy answer. From there, the musical takes off as title character Evan Hansen seeks to conquer his doubts and heal his mysteriously-broken arm, wondering at his inability to connect with others in ‘Waving Through a Window’. After a misguided letter and sudden tragedy lead Evan on a quest requiring deception to ease another family’s pain, the main catalyst sets the musical in motion. Rather than face the truth, Evan crafts a happier version of events that never really happened, but the beauty of ‘For Forever’ is that there is a kernel of truth in the wanting for such a perfect day to be real. That wanting is authentic. If he believes in it enough, if he makes it sound so good that everyone will want to believe in it too, then the lie might be forgiven. It might be given another life as something else, something that soothes and corrects a past that might not be as perfect.

Before things get bogged down in that philosophic contemplation, there is the hilarious trio of ‘Sincerely, Me’ and the comedic relief of Evan’s “family friend” Jared. Such transitions are absolutely vital in such a heavy show, but would be bright spots in any musical treading the boards right now.

As the title character for Wednesday and Saturday matinees, Michael Lee Brown gets the brunt of the emotional walloping, but his physical embodiment and vocal athletics are more than mettle for the task at hand. His Evan Hansen is all frail and flailing delicacy masked by self-deprecating humor, mirroring his mother’s initially over-the-top can-do attitude. When that mask is ripped off, it’s a remarkable thing to watch whether he will replace it with another.

Evan’s two would-be compatriots, Conor Murphy and Jared Kleinman, guide him in ways both hilarious and poignant. As the latter, Will Roland gets the majority of laughs, with impeccable comedic timing and sly delivery. Mike Faist brings typical teen angst and surprising tenderness to the troubled Conor.

The parents here are on equally complex footing. As the mothers, Rachel Bay Jones and Jennifer Laura Thompson are saddled with the weight of their teenage offspring, each dealing with fractured families in their own way. Ms. Jones gets the eleventh-hour tearjerker ‘So Big/So Small’ that finally breaks through to her son. As the lone father in the piece, Michael Park is all stoic, low-growl slumber until he opens up in ‘To Break in a Glove’. By the time Evan’s final salvo comes in ‘Words Fail’, the family that he has created is one to which we all suddenly belong. The need for that is primal and powerful. What happens when it’s taken away is devastating.

‘Dear Evan Hansen’ is about the families we create for ourselves, out of desperation or delusion or the simple need to survive. It’s about the lies we tell ourselves and the lies we tell each other – to be kind, to be consoling, to get through the day – and how draining and debilitating those lies can become. It’s about the existences we conjure and create, the facades of perfection we try so hard to keep flawless at any price. Mostly, though, it’s about the ways in which we matter, how each of us, despite our growing disenchantment and the ever-crushing way the world works, does in fact matter. And we are not alone. This musical reaches out to make a connection in a world where connecting no longer seems to make a difference. It’s a cry as gripping as a son’s desperate hug for his mother, a longing for a solution as insoluble as the longing for a lost father, and a quest for a moment of meaning as harrowing as the last hold on a tree branch before letting go.

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A Truly Royal Recap

Who knew the world needed a royal wedding to remind us of all the happiness that’s still out there? I suppose when you think about the happiness and love between a Prince of Wales and a biracial American woman, that’s more powerful and unifying than anything either of the leaders of our respective nations can currently muster. Love will conquer all, even the darkest news we’ve had of late. Besides, we could always use another reason to don a fascinator… on with the recap. 

The larch that weeps brings beauty that laughs. 

Narcissus in the sun.

Fern love

Lilac love

Cherry love

Mother’s Day weekend with Mom kicked off with a train ride to New York City

Our first show was ‘The Boys in the Band’, and then our first full day was spent shopping and dining before a gorgeous production of ‘Once On This Island.’

A matinee of ‘Dear Evan Hansen’ and some evening cocktails at the Taj Pierre concluded the long weekend, with a breakfast coda that found us looking forward to next year. 

A Broadway performer was our sole Hunk of the Day: Isaac Powell

Happy flower faces

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