Author Archives: Alan Ilagan

Lucy’s great.

Snoopy’s a trip.

But it is Woodstock who is my favorite.

(Do note that his puffer is not basic black.)

Our winter of obscura moves slowly forward, though it may not feel like it. We are somewhere near the saddest day of the year, but not wanting to dwell or get stuck in such muck, I’m not going to look it up to determine certainty. This is not the winter for that. We live in the haze; we honor the abstract. This post, and its accompanying visuals, will attest to that.

A wave crashing its sudsy body across the shore.

A ghost gradually assuming plasma form.

A microcosmic take on the edges of a crepe, more torn and fringed than our naked eye could ever make out.

Or the mesmerizing motions of a car wash.

Life is beauty, and beauty’s where you find it.

Outside, I watch a blue jay and a squirrel make their way through the winter. The squirrel has greater difficulty in getting across the yard – all that snow and ice – while the blue jay just flits and flies above the wintry wreckage. There is beauty there too. In the winter…

I saw the video, so if you are hearing anything other than the fact that an ICE officer shot a US citizen in the face as she was trying to drive away from them you need to seek the video out to see for yourself. She’s dead now, so the immutable fact remains that ICE has killed an innocent American citizen who was only using her 1st Amendment rights.

This is all on Trump.

This is all on the GOP.

This is all on anyone who voted for him, or chose not to vote against him.

This is all on everyone who refuses to say anything beyond this point.

In many ways, we are all complicit, but some much more than others, and I’m not going to be silent about it. When history records this disgusting period of American government, my voice will be, and has been, consistently against this current administration and what they are doing. Where is your voice? What will you tell your children? What will your actions show them?

“Even when I feel like shit, they still love me.” – Madonna, ‘Truth or Dare’

The good news is that I tested negative for COVID for the second day in a row; the bad news is I have some wretched flu thing that has left me with a fever and chills and all sorts of body aches that I haven’t felt in years. It’s even left me with a headache, and I never get headaches. It’s more than a little frustrating – 2026 was supposed to be a good year for Virgos and some sort of shit, but here I type in agony and totally over it already.

And so we find solace in Madonna, who has always exhibited that age-old entertainment adage: the show must go on. In ‘Truth or Dare‘, the prototype for reality television, for better or worse, we find her high in a hotel room overlooking her throngs of fans, sipping some tea as she mutters the opening line of this post… and then she launches into ‘Vogue’, because when all else fails…

Some people wake up at 3 AM in a trancelike state to sleep-walk their way to the fridge for some ice cream.

I groggily reach over to the phone and start scrolling through fragrance reviews, signing up for the 15% off for joining some fancy department’s store mailing list, then ordering an expensive perfume I don’t need the very same night I just had a stern talk with myself about not buying unnecessary items.

Waking the next morning to a bunch of e-mails confirming my purchases is a chilly reminder that I’ll need to give up a few lunches and leave the credit card at home for a bit.

But the way I smell will make it all worthwhile…

The full Wolf Moon almost stopped me in my tracks, quite literally as I slowed my car to a stop – so stunning was its form and color against a gorgeously lavender-blue sky. I’d just turned onto the street that led to my street when it appeared directly before me, hovering right above a house on the horizon – impossibly huge when plopped into such worldly perspective. As a child, I’d have believed in the possibility of driving toward the moon, leaping over houses and trees, climbing the most gradual and languid incline as the car made its magical nighttime journey all the way to the glowing orb in the sky.

As with so many other journeys, it wouldn’t be about what was on the moon when we got there, but all the adventures we’d encounter on the way. At night, perched seriously on the border between sleep and wake, part of me still believes in such whimsy.

Anyone interested in retaining some spark of creativity should always be able to access this path to the moon.

When the tea comes scalding hot, it’s time for a new tea cup.
This beautiful one was a gift from a co-worker, where several of my cherished teacups have originated.
Some might balk or remain unimpressed by such a gift – I embrace any form of generosity, even the forced kind. In this instance, I trust it was well-intended. It was certainly well-received. Unlike tote bags, the tea cup will always be welcomed in this house.

It’s the time for tea in these parts – tea and contemplation.

Tea and meditation.

Tea and the slow waltz of winter days leading us into spring.

Our very first weekly recap of 2026 has arrived, and this one included the bridge between 2025 and 2026, year in review and all. That’s an awful lot of recapping, so I won’t belabor such an onerous proposition of links any longer – have at it.

I am a clown. And no one should fuck with a clown.

Letting there be light at the darkest time of the year.

Sometimes my friend Chris is correct. This was one of those times.

A final, hopeful gasp of 2025.

The 2025 Year in Review (boooooooooooooo).

2026 begins with The Cleaving, whatever that means to you.

Welcome to Winter Obscura.

The early sounds of Obscura.

Older obscurity at last acknowledged.

Savoring selfishness and going feral for 2026.

Render me asunder with destruction.

The price of not listening to the universe is currently going for a cool $325.

Back on fucking track.

A year of 13 full moons, just what we need.

Flying by the crotch of my pants.

The next FAFO award goes to those who voted for this Peace President (LOL).

Crocheted Speedo.

Dazzlers of the Day included the stars of ‘Heated Rivalry’: Connor Storie and Hudson Williams.