All the Nights I Sleep Alone…

It feels as if I’m the least lonely when I’m by myself.

In a crowd of people, surrounded by friends, at a family dinner, sitting next to my husband – those are the times I feel lonely.

When I’m alone, I don’t worry about present company. There is no need to exclude, or to be excluded.

You’re my water
You’re my wine
You’re my whiskey
From time to time
You’re the hunger
On my bones
All the nights
I sleep alone

How I wish I could explain this better. How I wish to be someone better than I am.

How I wish I didn’t make such a mess of things by trying to be right and perfect and pretty.

How I wish I could stop.

Sweet intoxication
When your words
Wash over me
Whether or not
Your lips move
You speak to me

Are you out there? Are you listening? Are you the Hunter’s Moon or the starlight? Or are you the setting sun?

I will wait for you to rise, whatever you are, wherever you are.

Yes, I will wait.

Like an ocean
Without waves
You’re the movement
That I crave
And in that motion
I long to drown
And be lost not to be found

Leave me to this melancholic madness, I will lose myself and be fine.

We all wake in a fog. For the lucky ones, it clears as the day progresses.

For the unlucky ones, the ones who don’t get enough sun, the fog never lifts.

It’s my fault, and it’s your fault, and it’s no one’s fault.

But there is a fault, and a fissure, and I will not wait for it to grow.

You’re my water
You’re my wine
You’re my whiskey
From time to time

‘Drunkard’s Prayer’, Over the Rhine

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