Monthly Archives:

January 2014

A Very Special Birthday Wish

Today is my Mom’s birthday, so if you happen to see Mrs. Ilagan strolling the streets of Boston (where I believe she’ll be later today) please do wish her a happy one. And if Mrs. Ilagan happens to see this post by her first-born son, Happy Birthday Mom!

When I was little, ‘Someone That I Used to Love’ was her favorite song that I could play on the piano, so when I wanted to please her I would play it. (I didn’t know until I looked it up on YouTube that Barbra Streisand recorded a version.)

 

I wish it was enough for you
All the love I had to give
I did my best to keep you satisfied
I guess you’ll never how much I tried,
I really tried…

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Tom Brady’s Nipples

This funny video of Tom Brady receiving no high-five loving was reason enough to find some nip-pics of the quarterback:

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The Grain of The Granite

While I promised no more progress pics until the kitchen was complete, it was so exciting to see the implementation of the granite countertops that I’m posting these previews to show some of the details of the stone. To be honest, I was never a big fan of granite. It seemed so ubiquitous in kitchens, and much of it was rather uninspiring and underwhelming, not to mention monotonous and boring. However, upon viewing some samples in various showrooms, I saw that certain granite pieces were rich with variation and movement, marble-like in flow, and as unique as any more obscure stone (and certainly far more durable).

Once we decided on a cherry for the cabinets, I also liked the natural feel of granite next to the wood, as opposed to the man-made composites that came with a much cheaper price tag. It was a splurge that was worth it, and the endless variations will provide us with years of interesting study. I especially like the deep black vein that protrudes from the corner of the sink – we asked for that portion especially. Some people try to avoid such inconsistencies, but I think they make the piece unique.

Next week the back-splash is scheduled to be laid, along with the under-cabinet lighting, and then… well, then we will be finished. But I’m definitely cooking before that, because by the time this gets posted, we’ll have a working sink and dishwasher, and I’m planning a special meal for our first official working-kitchen weekend.

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Empty Underwear, Wrinkled Socks

A shell of discarded clothing.

A rumpled mound of wrinkled fabric.

A cottony corpse of crumpled threads, woven together into something more.

How colorful the world can be, if you pull on the right underwear.

But be wary: there are trade-offs for such gaudiness.

No one can stand a star that burns too brightly.

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Of Morrissey & Melancholy

Though his public statements have been questionable in recent years, Morrissey’s voice will always embody the best moments of angst ~ those times when sadness becomes a thing of beauty, when melancholy is a state of glorious madness, one that rivals the most joyful gladness. For most of my adolescence I managed to avoid much of Morrissey’s music, even his work with The Smiths. It wasn’t until his 1994 album ‘Vauxhall and I’ that I fell under his spell – and what a wonderful spell it was.

Somewhere in the winter of 1994 I looked into the dreamy blue eyes of that simple album cover as ‘Now My Heart is Full’ came over the stereo speakers. Familial betrayals, ruined romances, obsessive and unrequited love, self-doubt and crippling insecurity – this was the soundtrack to my stumbling existence. There was such a resigned sense of sorrow in some of his wails, but at the same time an unfailing hope for something better. ‘Hold Onto Your Friends’ was a self-recrimination of sorts, while acknowledging a loyal support system. ‘The More You Ignore Me, The Closer I Get’ was easily the theme for almost all of my doomed infatuations. My burgeoning gay self read much into ‘Billy Budd,’ and ‘Used To Be A Sweet Boy’ was ambivalently disturbing in owning up to some of the blame for everything I became.

Throughout the album, questions ~ of longing and heartache, want and desire, anger and resolution ~ surface and subside. For a Freshman finishing up his first year at college, it was a defining musical companion. To this day, whenever I hear Morrissey I remember those tender days, when the whole world hinged on a sad song.

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A Minor Kitchen Contribution

While it’s always been a dream of mine to hoist a sledgehammer Miley-Cyrus Wrecking Ball-style and do some serious demolition like some of the homeowners on HGTV get to do, the reality of the situation is that no one wants me to be in such a position. I’m a creator, not a destroyer. To that end, my contribution to the kitchen renovation is not a thrown-over shelf or a torn-down wall, but a new set of curtains and reupholstered dining room chairs.

Yes, in addition to crocheting and oboe-playing, one of my secret skills is sewing. Well, sewing curtains at least. I can thread a sewing machine and set it spinning, provided just a simple stitch and a straight line are required, as was the case with the panels I crafted with some fabric from Calico Corners.

I still remember the day in 7th grade, when our Home Economics class (is there still such a thing?) was learning how to thread a sewing machine and sew a few lines of stitches onto a square piece of cloth. It was late fall, and the morning sun was slanting in through the windows of the second floor classroom where a row of sewing machines sat. Dust particles floated through the beams of light, stirred by the cutting of fabric and the whirring of thread. After getting over the practical issue I had with the situation (why were we all learning how to thread a sewing machine, when most of us didn’t have sewing machines?) I made the most of it, managing to thread my machine and create the simple stitches required for the lesson. (And since I ended up with a sewing machine, I guess it worked out after all.) Unlike crocheting though, I didn’t end up loving the process of sewing, so I never bothered to learn more than the straight line required for curtains and the like. So far, it’s been enough to carry us through.

As for the fabric of the curtains, it was chosen on a bit of a whim. I went into the fabric store with no clear idea of what I wanted (always a dangerous thing to do, considering a recent tile selection incident) but this particular pattern – the bold colors and whimsical design – was one of those things I instantly loved. Of course red was not in the palette for the kitchen/dining room area, so there was a good chance it would never work. Upon closer examination, however, I noticed the bit of green that looked like a match to the shade of the kitchen and dining room walls. A tan color running through it might be the same hue of the recently-hung lampshade. Upon securing a sample and having Andy hold it up in the dining room, it was perfect – just the punch of non-traditional pizzazz that the space needed (since I gave up the vibrant white cabinets I originally wanted).

One more step – and one of the last – in the march towards a new kitchen.

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Hard as a Rock

Today is the day the granite countertop gets installed, and the last major part of the kitchen is, at long last, implemented. We’ve been in a bit of limbo waiting for the template and the granite to be cut, unable to do any serious cooking yet as the sink is not in, and cleaning dishes proves impossible in our little guest bathroom sink. Still, we’re on schedule, and I’m in the midst of preparing the new curtains and re-upholstering the chairs in the dining room, so a little extra time is welcome.

I’ve purposely refrained from posting any additional photos of the progress, as I’m thinking of waiting until the finished product is complete and doing the big ‘After’ reveal. Of course, I will likely give a few hints before then. And so, the limbo continues – no photos, no Instagrams, no spectacular Hump Day treat. Instead, a quiet nod of ongoing work, perpetual improvement ~ the passing of winter about to get a little easier.

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Story of My Life

If it seems strange that I should post a song by One Direction here, how little you know me. Once upon a time I was a big Boy Band fan – I had a Backstreet Boys calendar before I had an ‘NSync calendar. Old enough to know better, young enough not to care. But none of their songs inspired me like Madonna did. They were fun sing-a-long trifles for car rides or the end of a fling. (‘Bye Bye Bye’.)

Sometimes I wonder if I’ve grown too old to be moved by the magic of a pop song. Would there ever be something that filled me with giddy excitement, pure adrenaline, or the possibility of romance in the thaw of a January night? I don’t know, but it seems to me a song like this is surely forming the backdrop soundtrack for young lovers, for anyone embarking on what is yet to come, and what might one day be. That gives me hope. That makes me want to get in the car and drive with the windows down, seeking the cusp of spring. I hope I never lose that.

As for One Direction, I was never a big fan, but I have to respect anyone who can annoy Taylor Swift like that.

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Soothing Beauty, Calming Art

Whenever I find myself in doubt or trouble, I tend to seek out places of beauty ~ the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum, the Boston Public Library, the US Botanical Gardens, or even a simple greenhouse, where I can breathe in the scent of warm earth, and examine the patterns of orchid petals and the airy foliage of ferns. Beauty has a way of calming the soul. Such was the case when I visited the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston on New Year’s Eve.

At first, I didn’t recall the space. The rotunda, decked out in festive holiday garland and Christmas lights, surrounded a Christmas tree. Crowds were gathering, I assumed for the John Singer Sargent exhibit of watercolors (I would later discover that the first 300 people who showed up that day got in free for some promotional deal.) The space felt familiar, but I still didn’t directly remember being there. In fact, for about an hour I was certain that this was my first time visiting.

It wasn’t until I saw one of my favorite paintings that it all came flooding back: ‘The Painter’s Honeymoon’ by Lord Frederic Leighton. In it, an artist is working on something, while his presumed new wife sits by his side, hand clasped in his. Once upon a time I was a hopeless romantic, and this painting spoke a great many things to me. It told tales of an idealized notion of love, the way we all wish it could be. It whispered longings and hopes and dreams of one day finding that love, of locating such happiness in the arms of another. Yet there were hints of darkness too – the possibly-disengaged gaze of the artist, the perhaps-one-sided adoration and support, the somewhat-tortured aspect of the whole scene. Was she holding him there out of love or obligation? Was he happy to have his hand held or was it tiresome? Did either of them yearn to be somewhere else? Why was he working on his honeymoon? A great work of art posits these question, along with several possible answers, while never giving anything definitively away.

Upon seeing this sculpture, I realized this was my third time at the Museum (oh memory, how you have failed me). The second time I brought two of my friends who were visiting Boston, and there’s a picture of me, with my Structure work pin on my Structure dress shirt before an afternoon shift, making this same quasi-peace-sign with my hand.

Hallway after hallway opened up to more beauty. As the day worn on, and I soaked up more of the artwork, I felt calmer. The worries of family drained away, the concerns of home seemed distant and remote. The very demons that drove me to escape here had dissipated, run off as if singed by the flames of such roaring prettiness.

Below is ‘La Japonaise’ by Monet. It was in the working portion of the museum, behind a wall of glass so visitors could watch the restoration and maintenance process. I almost prefer seeing paintings like this sometimes, as if I were catching a glimpse of the work in its final stages, still on the artist’s easel, not quite ready for display. The moments before are always the moments that matter.

Of course, there’s something to be said for gilded frames and rich red damask walls as well, and once upon a time I would have decorated my entire home in such gaudy splendor (and often did). For now, I’ll leave it to the experts, and the expanse of a space like the MFA.

The embodiment of Air. One last look at a sculpture of Cleopatra at the entrance, then I depart. Down the stone steps, accompanied along the sidewalk by a flock of Canadian geese, their green shit marking the return to the real world, the present, the rumbling train.

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The Real Stars of ‘American Hustle’

When the weather turned dismal and dreary, and rain made walking in Boston a bit of a drag, I stopped in for an early showing of ‘American Hustle’. Despite getting some rave reviews, I was hesitant about it. The 70’s were never quite as glamorous as people always seem to want to make them out to be. Flared collars, polyester, John Travolta? No thanks. But after the first twenty minutes or so (which were almost unbearably dull to me), the story took over, the performances coalesced, and the rest of the ride was pretty impressive.

If I’m going to be completely honest, though, the real stars of the movie were as follows:

Amy Adams’ side-cleavage. Hello halters.

Bradley Cooper’s impossibly-tight perm. Hello poodle.

Christian Bale’s pot belly. Hello piggy.

Jennifer Lawrence’s lip-gloss. Hello sexy.

If any of those entities fails to win an award, it will be robbery. Sheer robbery.

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11 Big Ones

Eleven years ago this month I started www.ALANILAGAN.com. It had about 2 visitors (myself and my webmaster), twenty photos, twenty written works, and a vainglorious ‘About Me’ section overflowing with hubris. Over a decade later, we get a million hits on a good day (two million on one recent great day), and last year we clocked in over 100 million hits in total. Those numbers ring deceptively high, as hits aren’t an accurate gauge on how many people are visiting your site. Unique visitors, however, are – and we now get over 100,000 a month. That’s peanuts for most big-time websites, but for a personal blog about an often-off-putting prick like myself, it’s pretty damn impressive.

Anniversaries are a bigger deal here than they are in real life, mostly because it’s easier to link to the past online than in person. Madonna anniversaries, wedding anniversaries, and big ten-year anniversaries (and their hyped-up spin-off posts) get a lot of the glory, mostly because this is the one area of indulgence wherein I get to look back. So let’s do that for this morning.

While I don’t usually like to do it, sometimes the only way to move forward is by looking back. Examining what worked and what didn’t, what went well, and what went to shit. With an arc of eleven years, it’s easier to see patterns of happiness or distress, moments of melancholy and moments of contentment. Overall, though, even with all the troughs and peaks, you have to admit that I’ve kept things pretty steady, at least on this website – perhaps the only aspect of life over which I have complete control. As such, it is probably one of the purest places to find the truth – at least, as much of the truth that I’m going to reveal to the world at large. And, that’s actually quite a bit.

Thank you – yes, you – for visiting. Not just today, but for any day you’ve taken the time to stop by and peruse the silly antics, man candy, and Madonna moments that I post here not only for my entertainment, but for yours. I used to think that I did this solely for myself, but over the years it’s become more than that, and while we may never be as interactive as some sites, don’t think that I can’t sense you and feel you and appreciate you, out there in the dark. If you want to step out into the light and introduce yourself, you are always welcome to contact me directly at alanilagan1[@]gmail.com.

Happy 11th Anniversary – to us.

 

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The Golden Globes 2014

Torn between the Golden Globes and a new episode of ‘Downton Abbey’ (and in the absence of a DVR), I opted for both. Well, I interrupted the Golden Globes for the new ‘DA’, and all I missed was a crazed-looking Jared Leto (haven’t we all seen that already anyway?) Anyway, here are my bitchy takes on how the evening, and its gowns, unfolded. (BTW, can Tina Fey and Amy Poehler host every awards show from here on out? Pretty please?)

Amy Adams – The side-boob worked in ‘American Hustle’. Set in the 1970’s. Do the math.

Lupita Nyong’o – Stunning in a red cape by Ralph Lauren. (Some of us did a red cape two years ago, but whatever…)

Cate Blanchett – One of my favorite red-carpet ladies makes me wish it was more permissible for men to wear sheer lace. Oh screw it, I’m gonna do it anyway.

Matthew McConaughey– Usually I find tuxedos boring, but that Dolce & Gabbana may have made me a believer.

Wait a second, who is reviewing these fashions? Where is the vitriol?

Sandra Bullock – All you need is circus peanut orange!

Jennifer Lawrence – I love you too much to say what I feel about that dress.

Clearly the person in charge of the seating chart never thought Jacqueline Bisset would win. As for the acceptance speech, all I heard was “Shit. Go to hell.” No, literally – that’s all that the editing allowed through. I loved it!

Whom can I blame for all this side-cleavage? I want names.

Paula Patton – Careful, Ruffles come with ridges.

I missed Jared Leto. Was it really that bad?

Emma Stone – That hair. No

Diane Keaton – Still on the Drag King kick after all these years, but since getting a proper tailor she finally made it work.

 

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Good Evening, Boston

Until we meet again, which may not be for a few weeks, I thank you for providing such a respite in times of trouble (such as kitchen renovations). In so many ways, you are my only home. You were there when I was lonely, and there when I was flush with friends. You were there when I needed silence and stillness, and there when I needed distraction and excitement. You will be there again, too, I’m certain, for whatever needs may arise. Until then, hurry the winter along.

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The Final, and Longest, Stretch of the Kitchen Renovation

If all goes according to schedule and carefully-plotted plan, next week may bring about the completion of our kitchen renovation. I’m not going to tempt fate by predicting it will happen, as there is always room for a delay or two, and I no longer get my hopes up for what might never be, but things are looking tentatively good.

When most people told their tales of warning and woe regarding their own kitchen renovations, they mentioned that the toughest part was the two-week waiting period between when the majority of the kitchen is done, and the time that the counter-top gets installed. That wait, to allow for the granite template to be measured and made, and then for the stone itself to be cut, would be the hardest part. They were right.

Since the sink and dishwasher cannot be hooked up until the counter is in, we are in a holding pattern, and at the mercy of the stone cutters. There is excitement in that, though, and some input allowed as well. After driving to New Jersey to select the perfect piece of granite, I wanted to be sure that the best portion would be featured for the peninsula – the focus of the kitchen and dining room – so we stopped by Empire State Stone to determine where the cuts would be made. I wanted to feature the most striking variation in the stone for that part. I’d never been a big fan of the uniform consistency of some granite, but when I was shown pieces with dramatic veining and interesting gradations, I was a convert.

We walked out to the two slabs of granite we’d selected (Betulare), and a gentleman placed the cardboard template of our countertop over the stone. We moved it around a bit, turned it on its side, and found the best selection that incorporated the most pronounced variations. It’s set to be installed next Wednesday, followed by the backsplash. And then, at long last, the kitchen renovation will be complete. We’re almost there…

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Dawn or Dusk?

Sunrise or Sunset?

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