Category Archives: Gay Blog

{It’s been more than a hot minute since our last Special Guest Blog, and I’m thrilled to return the feature to the frontlines by this featured blog post by one of our previous Dazzlers of the Day, Chad Putman. He writes about his foray into tantric touch, the way it enhances intimacy and trust, and how the practice can lead to relaxation, stress relief, and self-exploration. With an inherent sex-positive message at a time when prudish hypocrisy is wreaking destruction, it’s a powerful and mind-expanding take on what is possible when we open our consciousness. Photos by Chad Putman.}

SPECIAL GUEST BLOG by CHAD PUTMAN:

I was scrolling recently on Instagram and saw a post from Burning Man highlighting an offering
for bondage and breathwork. I had not considered the literal combination, but according to the
post the available slots filled up quickly, and the feedback was positive. Although my Tantra Touch and sacred intimacy sessions with clients has incorporated both elements, I had not considered them as a packaged offering.
So, I decided to do a little research with an additional question, what if you added sensual touch
with a focus on gay men?
The outcome: below you will find three general benefits for the combined experience of
bondage, breathwork, and sensual touch for gay men. 
However, I wanted to add some of my own practice experience for additional context and steamy
content for your pleasure and personal practice. 

1. Enhanced Intimacy and Trust: Engaging in these practices can foster deep emotional
   connections, trust, and vulnerability between partners, strengthening their bond. 
   I have personally witnessed complete strangers surrender in front of me as they engaged in
   breathwork and sensual touch. Allowing themselves to become more vulnerable as I held them
   and disrobed them with consent and sensuality. Each breath and each layer drawing them in from
   the outside, deeper into their body and sensual self.
   After some time, I would slowly shift them to the massage table introducing shifting degrees of
   sensual and erotic touch and energy. I could see them drop into their nude bodies trusting in the
   experience unfolding around and within them. Following my command for breath, awareness
   and surrender while the sensual sounds of music filled the room. Each touch, caress, and motion
   I work to gain their trust, inspired by their physical reaction and arousal.
   More times than not, I ask and encourage my clients to wear a blindfold to allow them to
   minimize the distraction of sight. Often this is the first time they have been blindfolded so I am
   consistently retaining a hand on them to assist with a sense of safety, aiding in their ability to
   ground into their bodies. 
   With tantra massage there is a focus on the four elements and related style of touch or massage.
   Earth touch being firm grip and force on the body, shifting from chest to arms, legs to feet. Water
   is a more liquid touch, often involving massage oil and rhythmic movements. Fire touch helps to
   create those peak moments and sexual stimulation. A perfect time to incorporate some lite or
   heavy bandage to focus sensation and pleasure. Lastly and often after a release some lite air
   touch or fingertips on the skin, exploring the entire body from lips to fingertips to toes. 
2. Stress Relief and Relaxation: Breathwork and sensual touch can promote relaxation, reduce
   stress, and help improve mental well-being by engaging with the parasympathetic nervous
   system (heart, lungs, digestive system, and sexual organs).

Too often we are told to practice meditation and mindfulness with little to no experience. Too
often, ending brief attempts with frustration and miniscule benefits. 
My personal breathwork practice and work with clients has provided me with an active method
to experience and witness others in a meditative state.
Various forms of breathwork over a brief period, from 5 to 15 minutes, can be enough to increase
oxygen (prana-life force), reduce carbon dioxide in the body, and help release stored tension and
energy. 
The combination of breath, music, smells, lighting, movement, guided meditation, touch, and
stimulation creates an opportunity to surrender, ground, let go, experience the moment, and drop
into the immense amount of pleasure the body can receive and experience. 
It is during these extended moments that I engage the imagination to adventure beyond the limits
of the body and the room. Invoking sacred journeys and connections with Pachamama (earth)
and father universe, one’s higher self and spirit guides. These connections often tie back to the
original intention set by the participant. Seeking out their higher-self or inner child for direction,
insight, and impactful downloads. 
Feeling empowered, grounded and connected, the outside world and endless list of demands and
to-dos slip away, and pleasure begins to take center stage. Breathe, release, engage your throat
chakra and give voice to every cell of your body. 

3. Self-Exploration and Sensory Awareness: These practices encourage greater self-awareness,
   body positivity, and exploration of desires, leading to improved self-acceptance and sexual
   confidence.
   We do not often communicate our boundaries, desires, and health practices at the time of
   engaging with a sexual partner. This can limit our sexual experience, lead to undesired outcomes,
   and increase anxiety about exposure to sexually transmitted infections. 
   Each of my Tantra Touch and intimacy practice sessions starts with a structured discussion that
   allows for an opportunity to share on these topics helping to create greater self-confidence and
   shared awareness. 
   The combination of all these elements, practices and shared openness leads to an environment in
   support of exploration, increased sensitivity, and appreciation of what our bodies are capable of
   experiencing. 
   These sessions are a perfect opportunity to welcome new experiences, challenge limitations with
   consent and introduce new sensations. The intentional combination of bondage, breathwork and
   sensual touch is an invitation to surrender, ground and release. 
   Every session takes on a life of its own. I never know when we begin, where we will end. I am
   profoundly grateful for the trust of my clients and their willingness to embrace the experience. 

After a 60-, 90- or 120-minute session the peace and tranquility in the room is palatable.
Butterflies circling and landing on the beautiful naked soul, grounded and at peace on the table
under a light sheet to assist with grounding and integration. 
Whether your pleasure practice is solo, partnered, group or part of your regular self-care, consider including breathwork, bondage and sensual touch for an enhanced intimate and erotic
experience. Allow me to guide you or connect with someone you trust. Your body is waiting, are
you ready?
For your own pleasure practice, I have noted some steps you can take to create your own tantra,
personal pleasure practice or to engage with another for some steamy, sensual, full body
pleasure. 
Your practice: start with setting the stage. Set aside some time, pick a space, create a vibe, and
think about what you want your personal or shared experience to entail. 
Do you need a moment of surrender and passion? Are you feeling dominant and particularly
kinky? 
Incorporate mood lighting and music, essential oils, and toys (ropes, ice cubes, blindfold, silk,
nipple claps, massage oil candles, get creative).
Having set the stage, start with some grounding breathwork and music to help you drop out of
your head and into your body. An effective practice includes belly breaths, taking deep breaths
through your nose, filling up your belly, and releasing out of your mouth through pursed lips.
You can count to four on the inhale and six on the exhale to help with focus. Do this for 3-5
minutes, then hold for 30-60 seconds at the top or after the exhale. Then repeat for 2-3 cycles. 
You can also increase the speed and focus of your breath. Inhale through your nose expanding
your chest, exhaling fully through your mouth. Or take short, quick (fire) breaths in and out of
your nose for 60 to 90 seconds. Making sure to take breaks, sitting, or lying down or doing so in
unison with your partner. Added benefit with eye gazing, interlocking lower body and legs and
being nude. 
You can also use this time to concentrate your breath and energy in different parts of your body
from your belly, heart, throat to the soles of your feet, sit bones, top of your head and most
importantly your root chakra at the base of your spine. Activating your sexual, Kundalini energy
and getting the juices flowing. 
Tantra Touch is about conducting sensation with intuition and allowing your body to be the
instrument. Giving a well needed break to your conscious mind and ego. Allow your sensual,
erotic, and animalistic self to lead the way. If it helps, wear blindfolds, including oils and ice for
sensual touch and sensation play. Do not be shy, include touch and massage of your nipples, lips,
cock, balls, and hole. Either laying down, tied up or cuddling with your partner. 

Build the energy and then take a step back to breath, move the energy around the body with lite
touch and breath. Then stir the pot allowing the vibe of the room and music to stimulate and
accentuate the feeling. 
When it is time we welcome the release with your entire body. Breath into your orgasm and
allow your throat to expand with moans and groans of pleasure. Let the universe know your
orgasm is profound, magical, and primal. Burst with the spark of life that transcends time,
galaxies, and gravity. 
But do not stop there. Allow yourself to remain in the moment. Resist the old training that forced
us to clean up and shy away from our body’s potential. Allow your drip, your cum to breathe, to
taste the air you breath. Lay still, relax and release. 
The angles and butterflies are on their way. Resist the temptation to check back in with your ego
and conscious mind. Drift away into a timeless experience of meditation brought on by the full
body experience of pleasure. 
These moments, these experiences are equally as important as the countless other moments that
take up so much of our time. I am of the opinion that our new opportunity in this age of Aquarius
is to spend more time experiencing the pleasures of our body solo and with others. Just maybe,
with more practice, more awareness, and more intention the peace and joy we all seek will be
less illusive and more palatable in the world around us. ~ Chad Putman

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Chad Putman, MSW has been practicing tantra for the past two-and-a-half-years. Having studied under seasoned tantra and energy practioners in Costa Rica & Tampa, FL. His mid-life crisis, turned opportunity, lead him to San Juan, Puerto in 2022 in search of a fresh start and renewed zest for life. 

Today his practice of tantra is a spiritual way of life. He has developed his own intuitive services for gay, bi and queer men grounded in breath, embodiment and transformation. He offers tantra touch, intimacy coaching, small group sensual experiences, workshops and international retreats. His celebration of the male body, intimacy and sexuality has empowered clients to reconnect with their bodies, pleasure and intuitive self.

If you would like to connect with him please visit makeyourithappen.com, Instagram @chadputman75, YouTube @chadputman and Onlyfans @Rearontogo or Text 518-225-0957 or chadputman1@gmail.com