When I billed our very first Summer 2024 Olympics post as ‘Paris Is Bulging‘ I had no idea how prophetic that would turn out to be. This edition of the Olympic Games was nothing short of bulgetastic, with the crotch taking center-stage from the opening ceremony and that scrotum-peek to the aptly-named pole vault and the dick-tap seen around the world.
France’s own Léon Marchand would anchor the start of the games, winning the gold for his home host country and riding the crest of the crowd’s adorations and thunderous cheers. From the US, Caeleb Dressel revealed a raw reminder of all the highs and lows that an Olympic experience can bring with it. Swimming marvel Torri Huske helped her team to a few more swimming medals while Asher Hong and Paul Juda kicked off the men’s gymnastics in fine form.
The very first bulge from the title of this post belonged to Jules Bouyer, whose swimsuit was filled to the brim as he became an instant icon and the envy of more than a few good men. Carlos Alcaraz showed off his underwear bulge long before these Olympic games, but he made a splash with his tennis performance.
Anthony Harding, diving partner of Jack Laugher, made a proverbially-big and literally-small splash in his Olympic Spotlight and tight Speedo.
America’s very own Clark Kent/Superman hero, Stephen Nedoroscik blew us away as he anchored the men’s gymnastic team on the pommel horse, then earned his own individual medal on the same apparatus. Digging up shirtless shots of Nedoroscik should be an Olympic event in itself.
Meanwhile the Philippines put itself on the gold medal map with a pair of them earned by Carlos Yulo.
Rhys McClenaghan went for the gold and claimed it on the pommel horse, knocking Superman into third place. Noah Lyles and Bobby Finke have both appeared here previously, but thanks to winning performances they earned a couple of Olympic Spotlights. From the running crew, Jakob Ingebrigtsen and Josh Kerr battled it out on the track and under the spotlight, but it was American Cole Hocker who ran away with the gold medal.
The second bulge of the post title came fittingly from pole vaulter Anthony Ammirati’s cock-brushing pole stunt.
Not one to be overshadowed by this bulge in the prelims, Mondo Duplantis broke a world record with his own pole vault.
While Simone Biles gleefully broke more records with more gold medals, she made a little room for Rebeca Andrade to win a gold medal for her floor routine in women’s gymnastics. American Gabby Thomas was back and faster than ever, earning her second Dazzler of the Day crowning.
Finally, Tom Daley won a silver medal and added more Speedo shots to his long list of blog posts.
