Alan Ilagan

She arrived like Cleopatra – carried in by an enormous troop of gladiatorially-garbed men. A wall of larger-than-life faux palm fronds parted to the opening salvo of ‘Vogue’ ~ What are you looking at? ~ a ridiculous question when all eyes were so clearly on Madonna, revealed in an extravagant head-dress and sparkling golden robe. Half Isis, Half American Goddess, Half Woman Warrior – she was here to stake her claim as rightful occupant to her once and future pop throne. And, by most accounts, she slayed it.

It was dazzling, it was stunning, it was like she transported us into a different world. I don’t know about anyone else, but it no longer felt like a football game to me – and God knows I couldn’t be more thankful for that.

As with most things Madonna, it was the overall effect that powed and wowed. Her vocals were mostly lip-synced. Without a proper sound-check for an avowed (and proven) perfectionist, there’s no way she was going to rely on a live sound-system, and there’s no way she should have done that for a show like this. She wasn’t there to impress with her vocal stylings and nuanced singing – she was there to entertain and put on a show – and I defy anyone to do it better.

It managed to be intimate and grand, theatrical and universal, intricate and epic ~ the most difficult balancing act pulled off by one of the greatest entertainers the world will ever see. When Madonna comes to play there is no better showstopper.

After the brilliance of ‘Vogue’, she went into a rollicking version of ‘Music’, where her only (exceedingly minor) flub was when she couldn’t quite get up onto a bench on the first try – so small was it that I missed the misstep entirely on first viewing. Hey, I couldn’t do that in high heels.

Surprisingly I enjoyed the LMFAO segment – a mash up of ‘Music’, ‘Party Rock Anthem’, and ‘I’m Sexy & I Know It’ – and Madonna was clearly having a good time by that point. The dance break finishing it was killer. “Every day I’m shuffling” indeed.

Going back to her cheerleader roots, she performed new single ‘Give Me All Your Luvin’ with Nicky Minaj and M.I.A., the latter giving the camera the middle-finger (another thing that went so quickly by I didn’t even see it – and I have to wonder if all the hoopla over this isn’t just a desperate grab at some sort of halftime show controversy where none really existed – most people I talked to didn’t see it either). Regardless, it wasn’t Madonna, so let someone else take the heat for once.

A couple of drum corps snapping their snares announced the arrival of Cee-Lo, whose presence I initially met with raised eyebrow and low expectations, but he delivered too. As she exchanged bits of ‘Open Your Heart’ and ‘Express Yourself’ with him as band-leader, it instantly became another highlight for me. That two lines from each could have such a thrilling effect is one of the wonders of Madonna. She can pull from her vast, rich history and instantly evoke a memory, an emotion, a smile – and suddenly the very best of what pop music can do is revealed then instantly shrouded in tantalizing mystique. It is a delicious sprinkling of the Madonna magic, manifesting itself right in the midst of America’s biggest sports night.

As well as Cee-Lo did with his brief intro, I had my doubts that he could step up to ‘Like A Prayer’ – I didn’t know if he had the gravitas, having only known him from his novelty ‘Fuck You’ song. It was another thrill to see him don a sequined choir robe and bring his A-game to the magnificence that is ‘Like A Prayer’. As the football field, markers and all, seemed to magically roll into the stage itself (the wonders of technology), Madonna had indeed managed to preach a world-reaching sermon in the sacred church of Middle America, thereby securing her hallowed place in pop culture for the umpteenth time.

Before you knew it, but after what felt like an entire concert rolled into 12 minutes, she was gone, having disappeared Wicked-Witch-like in a blast of smoke through the floor. Almost thirty years into this game, no one else can put on a more spectacular show. The Queen has returned, and this was her ultimate proclamation that she is nowhere near ready to abdicate the throne.

“If I was a drink I’d be a lemon drop.” ~ Madonna, ‘SuperPop’

There’s really only one way I’m getting through the entire Superbowl, and that’s with the help of a little drinking game. I scouted around for good words to use – something that would be said with some frequency, but not so much that by the half-time show I’d be passed out. My friend Jen came up with ‘Blitz’ – which was perfect on a number of levels, and so it shall be. If you want to play along, take a sip of your beverage every time the word “Blitz” is used.

Contingency plan: should there not be enough blitzing after the first… half? quarter? How in the hell is this game divided again? – we will switch to the word “coverage”. Should that fail to ease the pain, we will drink every time the word “the” is used. And if that’s still not enough then get some help.

The libation of choice is, in honor of our half-time girl, the lemon drop – one of Madonna’s favorite cocktails. Here are the ingredients for one:

- 1 ½ ounces vodka (preferably citrus)
- ½ ounce triple sec (or preferably Limoncello)
- 1 teaspoon superfine sugar
- ¾ ounce freshly squeezed lemon juice
- Lemon twist (for garnish)

Since it’s the Superbowl (a rough and tumble event if ever there was one), we’re not going to be all FussyLittleBlog about this, so mix it up with some ice and simply strain into a cocktail glass of your choosing. Most lemon drops have a sugar rim to them, but there’s nothing I despise more than a sugar rim, hand to God.

So start your engines, because once the Superbowl begins we’re going on a tear, and there’s no telling where this game may take us.

I absolutely love it.

No matter how much other drama is going on in my life, there’s always Madonna to make the day just a little bit better.

Aside from my pet-peeve for intentionally-misspelled and supposedly-cute versions of “words” ~ i.e. “luvin” – I was initially otherwise unimpressed with the demo version of the new Madonna single that leaked a few months back. While not quite ready for a “comeback” (her career has never suffered the sort of post-Sex backlash of the early 90’s), she is due for a grand return (this new album will mark the first since 2008’s Hard Candy – a relatively lengthy stretch between new Madonna studio albums). As such, it is being hyped by fans as a big deal. As for the lead-off single, I’m not sure ‘Give Me All Your Luvin’’(GMAYL) delivers.

It certainly doesn’t come close to the majesty and pomp of ‘Like A Prayer’ or ‘Frozen’ – two lead-off singles from now-iconic musical moments in her career – but we’re living in a different world now, and quick flashes of catchy-if-empty tunes seem to be where all the radio-play and chart action is. Still, this is Madonna, and I was hoping for something a little less… trifling. GMAYL is almost a throwaway track – fun and instantly likable, but almost as instantly forgettable – and if there’s one thing Madonna does best, it’s the unforgettable.

The final version, however, has grown on me some. She certainly knows her way around a verse, and if the chorus doesn’t quite live up to her legend, it still manages to thrill in its own way. The cover art is nice, in a casual, fun, carefree way – we don’t often get unabashed and abandoned fun from her. While I love it when she goes serious and introspective, I can also appreciate that the world is not going to embrace a ballad a la ‘Frozen’. Once again, Madonna knows what she’s doing – and whether or not the song is a huge hit for her, she’s put herself in our collective consciousness almost three decades after she first entered it.

The new chapter has begun…

The Madonna Promotional Blitz is in full-effect this week, which means I’ve seen more television in three days than I usually watch in a year (including Jay Leno, which dimmed my view of society even more). Today she makes an appearance on the Anderson Cooper show, and her video for ‘Gimme All Your Luvin’ previews on ‘American Idol’ tonight. The cover art for her upcoming album MDNA has just been released (above) and it absolutely rocks. Vibrant, of-the-moment, yet retaining a bit of an 80’s retro vibe, it’s striking and instantly iconic. It’s not so overtly Madonna-centric (like Bedtime Stories or Ray of Light), rather more along the lines of the abstract beauty of Erotica coupled with the high-gloss glamour of True Blue.

Of course the main event we’ve all been waiting for is the Superbowl Half-time show, and if her track record is any indication, she’ll pull it off in spectacular fashion. Billboard Magazine just listed her Top 5 television performances, and while I agree with most of them, they left off her amazing Live Aid and Live Earth shows, which to me are more in keeping with how the Superbowl will run (in terms of scope and size).

This is the most excited I’ve been about a Superbowl since mastering the choreography to the Bears’ Superbowl Shuffle back around 1986. (Hey, I didn’t have much else going on in my life that Winter.) This time around it’s all about Madonna. I could not care less about the game. That said, go Patriotics!!! Go Greg Brady!!! And above all, Go Madonna!!!

This is supposedly the ad for David Beckham’s new H&M Bodywear line that’s set to air during the Superbowl, which, along with Madonna, may make this sporting event the gayest one that has ever existed. I mean, David Beckham in his underwear AND Madonna at the half-time show? Where’s a boy supposed to look first?