Red, White & Boston Blue

The truth is that I hadn’t planned on being in Boston during the No Kings Rally this past Saturday, but when I found myself ambling along Newbury Street and saw the signs of people assembling, I decided to stop by and take part briefly in the proceedings, because this country is in grave danger, whether you choose to believe the reality of that or not, and if all we have is each other, then it was important to feel that we were not alone.

I haven’t been to any rallies or demonstrations or protests since the fight for marriage equality in New York State was raging over a decade ago. That feels quaint now, as well as on the verge of endangerment. The world has gone to hell under the current President, and if you can’t see that I can’t help you.

Boston, for her part, welcomed me as she always has, with these blooms in red, white and blue – a reminder that true patriotism has no place for kings or despots or fascist dictators. As the city opened its arms, I felt the ready acceptance of a majority of people who wanted the best for each other.

A red canna burned its fiery form in the afternoon sunlight, while a white aster nodded in the breeze. A stalk of Monkshood bestowed its blue beauty in the same garden, and together they christened the Boston weekend in patriotic form.

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A Happy Diner Ending

A recent Boston visit begins at the end, because in my experience every ending ends up being the beginning of something else, even if it’s just the return home at the end of a vacation. This fall marks the 30th anniversary of procuring our Boston condo, so I’ve been quietly celebrating this milestone with the posts to come, and this past weekend I spent there simply enjoying the city.

On the early Sunday morning of departure, I made my way to the diner nearby, Charlie’s, which has been in existence long before we moved in thirty years ago, and continues to provide comforting diner food for all early hunger pangs. On this morning, I opted for the Charlie’s Breakfast sandwich, and added some hot sauce for zing.

If I ever manage to retire and am able to spend more than fleeting weekends in Boston, this is the sort of thing I look forward to doing – hanging at the local diner with my favorite server, who welcomed me back to town and engaged in some early-morning banter amid several groups of misbehaving children.

“On Sunday morning we have a lot of hangover people or kids. I don’t know which is worse,” she whispered conspiratorially to me.

“Oh, kids,” I declared without hesitation. The hangover people just want some greasy food and to be left alone, and are thrilled with anyone who helps them accomplish this mission. Kids, and their indulgent parents, are rarely so easily satisfied, even with chocolate chip pancakes and powdered sugar.

She laughed at my instant response. “You just made my morning,” she said, setting off for a pair of youngsters still in their pajamas and jumping from empty diner stool to empty diner stool. She smiled at them and left them to their merriment.

It seems on this particular Sunday morning, Cholula wasn’t my only friend.

It was a delightful ending to a weekend in my beloved city, where other enchantments held me rapt for the days prior…

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Special Guest Blog: Breathwork, Bondage & Sensual Touch by Chad Putman

{It’s been more than a hot minute since our last Special Guest Blog, and I’m thrilled to return the feature to the frontlines by this featured blog post by one of our previous Dazzlers of the Day, Chad Putman. He writes about his foray into tantric touch, the way it enhances intimacy and trust, and how the practice can lead to relaxation, stress relief, and self-exploration. With an inherent sex-positive message at a time when prudish hypocrisy is wreaking destruction, it’s a powerful and mind-expanding take on what is possible when we open our consciousness. Photos by Chad Putman.}

SPECIAL GUEST BLOG by CHAD PUTMAN:

I was scrolling recently on Instagram and saw a post from Burning Man highlighting an offering
for bondage and breathwork. I had not considered the literal combination, but according to the
post the available slots filled up quickly, and the feedback was positive. Although my Tantra Touch and sacred intimacy sessions with clients has incorporated both elements, I had not considered them as a packaged offering.
So, I decided to do a little research with an additional question, what if you added sensual touch
with a focus on gay men?
The outcome: below you will find three general benefits for the combined experience of
bondage, breathwork, and sensual touch for gay men. 
However, I wanted to add some of my own practice experience for additional context and steamy
content for your pleasure and personal practice. 

  1. Enhanced Intimacy and Trust: Engaging in these practices can foster deep emotional
    connections, trust, and vulnerability between partners, strengthening their bond. 
    I have personally witnessed complete strangers surrender in front of me as they engaged in
    breathwork and sensual touch. Allowing themselves to become more vulnerable as I held them
    and disrobed them with consent and sensuality. Each breath and each layer drawing them in from
    the outside, deeper into their body and sensual self.
    After some time, I would slowly shift them to the massage table introducing shifting degrees of
    sensual and erotic touch and energy. I could see them drop into their nude bodies trusting in the
    experience unfolding around and within them. Following my command for breath, awareness
    and surrender while the sensual sounds of music filled the room. Each touch, caress, and motion
    I work to gain their trust, inspired by their physical reaction and arousal.
    More times than not, I ask and encourage my clients to wear a blindfold to allow them to
    minimize the distraction of sight. Often this is the first time they have been blindfolded so I am
    consistently retaining a hand on them to assist with a sense of safety, aiding in their ability to
    ground into their bodies. 
    With tantra massage there is a focus on the four elements and related style of touch or massage.
    Earth touch being firm grip and force on the body, shifting from chest to arms, legs to feet. Water
    is a more liquid touch, often involving massage oil and rhythmic movements. Fire touch helps to
    create those peak moments and sexual stimulation. A perfect time to incorporate some lite or
    heavy bandage to focus sensation and pleasure. Lastly and often after a release some lite air
    touch or fingertips on the skin, exploring the entire body from lips to fingertips to toes. 
  2. Stress Relief and Relaxation: Breathwork and sensual touch can promote relaxation, reduce
    stress, and help improve mental well-being by engaging with the parasympathetic nervous
    system (heart, lungs, digestive system, and sexual organs).

Too often we are told to practice meditation and mindfulness with little to no experience. Too
often, ending brief attempts with frustration and miniscule benefits. 
My personal breathwork practice and work with clients has provided me with an active method
to experience and witness others in a meditative state.
Various forms of breathwork over a brief period, from 5 to 15 minutes, can be enough to increase
oxygen (prana-life force), reduce carbon dioxide in the body, and help release stored tension and
energy. 
The combination of breath, music, smells, lighting, movement, guided meditation, touch, and
stimulation creates an opportunity to surrender, ground, let go, experience the moment, and drop
into the immense amount of pleasure the body can receive and experience. 
It is during these extended moments that I engage the imagination to adventure beyond the limits
of the body and the room. Invoking sacred journeys and connections with Pachamama (earth)
and father universe, one’s higher self and spirit guides. These connections often tie back to the
original intention set by the participant. Seeking out their higher-self or inner child for direction,
insight, and impactful downloads. 
Feeling empowered, grounded and connected, the outside world and endless list of demands and
to-dos slip away, and pleasure begins to take center stage. Breathe, release, engage your throat
chakra and give voice to every cell of your body. 

  1. Self-Exploration and Sensory Awareness: These practices encourage greater self-awareness,
    body positivity, and exploration of desires, leading to improved self-acceptance and sexual
    confidence.
    We do not often communicate our boundaries, desires, and health practices at the time of
    engaging with a sexual partner. This can limit our sexual experience, lead to undesired outcomes,
    and increase anxiety about exposure to sexually transmitted infections. 
    Each of my Tantra Touch and intimacy practice sessions starts with a structured discussion that
    allows for an opportunity to share on these topics helping to create greater self-confidence and
    shared awareness. 
    The combination of all these elements, practices and shared openness leads to an environment in
    support of exploration, increased sensitivity, and appreciation of what our bodies are capable of
    experiencing. 
    These sessions are a perfect opportunity to welcome new experiences, challenge limitations with
    consent and introduce new sensations. The intentional combination of bondage, breathwork and
    sensual touch is an invitation to surrender, ground and release. 
    Every session takes on a life of its own. I never know when we begin, where we will end. I am
    profoundly grateful for the trust of my clients and their willingness to embrace the experience. 

After a 60-, 90- or 120-minute session the peace and tranquility in the room is palatable.
Butterflies circling and landing on the beautiful naked soul, grounded and at peace on the table
under a light sheet to assist with grounding and integration. 
Whether your pleasure practice is solo, partnered, group or part of your regular self-care, consider including breathwork, bondage and sensual touch for an enhanced intimate and erotic
experience. Allow me to guide you or connect with someone you trust. Your body is waiting, are
you ready?
For your own pleasure practice, I have noted some steps you can take to create your own tantra,
personal pleasure practice or to engage with another for some steamy, sensual, full body
pleasure. 
Your practice: start with setting the stage. Set aside some time, pick a space, create a vibe, and
think about what you want your personal or shared experience to entail. 
Do you need a moment of surrender and passion? Are you feeling dominant and particularly
kinky? 
Incorporate mood lighting and music, essential oils, and toys (ropes, ice cubes, blindfold, silk,
nipple claps, massage oil candles, get creative).
Having set the stage, start with some grounding breathwork and music to help you drop out of
your head and into your body. An effective practice includes belly breaths, taking deep breaths
through your nose, filling up your belly, and releasing out of your mouth through pursed lips.
You can count to four on the inhale and six on the exhale to help with focus. Do this for 3-5
minutes, then hold for 30-60 seconds at the top or after the exhale. Then repeat for 2-3 cycles. 
You can also increase the speed and focus of your breath. Inhale through your nose expanding
your chest, exhaling fully through your mouth. Or take short, quick (fire) breaths in and out of
your nose for 60 to 90 seconds. Making sure to take breaks, sitting, or lying down or doing so in
unison with your partner. Added benefit with eye gazing, interlocking lower body and legs and
being nude. 
You can also use this time to concentrate your breath and energy in different parts of your body
from your belly, heart, throat to the soles of your feet, sit bones, top of your head and most
importantly your root chakra at the base of your spine. Activating your sexual, Kundalini energy
and getting the juices flowing. 
Tantra Touch is about conducting sensation with intuition and allowing your body to be the
instrument. Giving a well needed break to your conscious mind and ego. Allow your sensual,
erotic, and animalistic self to lead the way. If it helps, wear blindfolds, including oils and ice for
sensual touch and sensation play. Do not be shy, include touch and massage of your nipples, lips,
cock, balls, and hole. Either laying down, tied up or cuddling with your partner. 

Build the energy and then take a step back to breath, move the energy around the body with lite
touch and breath. Then stir the pot allowing the vibe of the room and music to stimulate and
accentuate the feeling. 
When it is time we welcome the release with your entire body. Breath into your orgasm and
allow your throat to expand with moans and groans of pleasure. Let the universe know your
orgasm is profound, magical, and primal. Burst with the spark of life that transcends time,
galaxies, and gravity. 
But do not stop there. Allow yourself to remain in the moment. Resist the old training that forced
us to clean up and shy away from our body’s potential. Allow your drip, your cum to breathe, to
taste the air you breath. Lay still, relax and release. 
The angles and butterflies are on their way. Resist the temptation to check back in with your ego
and conscious mind. Drift away into a timeless experience of meditation brought on by the full
body experience of pleasure. 
These moments, these experiences are equally as important as the countless other moments that
take up so much of our time. I am of the opinion that our new opportunity in this age of Aquarius
is to spend more time experiencing the pleasures of our body solo and with others. Just maybe,
with more practice, more awareness, and more intention the peace and joy we all seek will be
less illusive and more palatable in the world around us. ~ Chad Putman

————————————————-

Chad Putman, MSW has been practicing tantra for the past two-and-a-half-years. Having studied under seasoned tantra and energy practioners in Costa Rica & Tampa, FL. His mid-life crisis, turned opportunity, lead him to San Juan, Puerto in 2022 in search of a fresh start and renewed zest for life. 

Today his practice of tantra is a spiritual way of life. He has developed his own intuitive services for gay, bi and queer men grounded in breath, embodiment and transformation. He offers tantra touch, intimacy coaching, small group sensual experiences, workshops and international retreats. His celebration of the male body, intimacy and sexuality has empowered clients to reconnect with their bodies, pleasure and intuitive self.

If you would like to connect with him please visit makeyourithappen.com, Instagram @chadputman75, YouTube @chadputman and Onlyfans @Rearontogo or Text 518-225-0957 or chadputman1@gmail.com

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Insta Censored My Ass, Again

Even out-of-focus ass shots are forbidden on Instagram these days, so I’ll give you the uncensored version below, which Instagram so unceremoniously removed from my feed. Oh, the tarnishing of such a legacy is what’s truly obscene! Down with censorship! Down with banning books! Down with this selective freedom of speech and expression when so much hate and vile rhetoric is otherwise allowed!

Just kidding – these sorts of censorship blips have only served to gain more visitors and clicks to this site – which marked over a million hits last month in some strange surge of blog action that has also brought in over 100,000 visitors thus far this month, so censorship seems to be working in my favor. Call it the Barbra Streisand effect. And while this practically-pornographic jockstrap post may have some justification for being removed, the removal of the photo below just shows America’s puritanical hypocrisy. It’s not like I proudly proclaimed I grabbed someone’s pussy without their consent…

PS – Happy anniversary to Madonna’s ‘Erotica’ album and ‘Sex’ book – great day for it!

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Mr. Oud Senses the Time for a New Project

It speaks in whispers and the faintest of nudges. 

It reveals itself slowly, in small steps and stages, and for the first few instances you may not quite be sure what is being suggested. 

Don’t worry, all will be revealed, you need only be open to the universe. A little bit of patience, a little bit of listening, and a lot of observing – and soon the mission will be clear – or at least the general way the universe wants you to proceed. 

Another thing to set your mind at ease: the world wants you to fulfill your destiny. If you make a drastically wrong turn, it will make notions to offer correction. If you take a mistaken step, new paths to get you to the same destination will appear. Watch for these doors if you feel stuck or unsure. 

Mr. Oud has learned to heed the whispers, to direct his steps according to the little nudges. 

Mr. Oud leans into where the universe is subtly directing him, taking challenges as invitations, discomfort as stimulation, and that initial fear and loathing as an intriguing thrill to conquer. 

Mr. Oud takes his time, trusting that the necessary components will fall into place as they are needed, even if the total picture hasn’t quite been projected just yet. Having faith in your trajectory is one of the most tenuously frightening spaces to find oneself, especially the first few hundred times. 

Mr. Oud is old hat at this creative conundrum.

We will leave him to his work on a fall day that promises autumn things…

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A Husband’s Birthday

Today is Andy’s birthday, so if you see him or have his number, be sure to wish him as much. He’s still my favorite person in the world, and we still have fun, which at twenty-five years in is saying quite a bit. Here are a couple of shots from recent adventures – Andy’s always up for a good steak dinner and a fancy Uber ride to get there

Happy birthday Drew – I love you – and many happy returns of the day!

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Dazzler of the Day: Glen Pudvine

Intense artistic introspection and self-reflection are part of the ferociously fertile ground that artist Glen Pudvine explores in his images. His work is a powerful compendium of self-exploration that directly confronts both viewer and artist, forcing the sort of questionable comfort that we sometimes find in someone unafraid to unabashedly revel in and reveal themselves. Studies of other bodies, other faces, and other bodily landscapes round out the artist’s ongoing trajectory, more than justifying this crowning as Dazzler of the Day.

{Check out Pudvine’s website here for additional evidence of his brilliance.}

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A Crazy Non-Cactus in Bloom Again

Let’s just call this the Holiday Cactus, to encompass Columbus Day, as we add that to the roster of holidays on which this crazy plant has bloomed. It’s been this pretty for Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s, and Easter. At its heart, it’s a signifier of change, of seasonal shifts, of more light leaving or arriving. A transitional totem. A symbol of time and movement.

We are moving quickly through this fall. Once Halloween comes and goes, we’ll be right into the holiday slide. Is anyone ready for this? I am as ready as I’m going to be, and I’m taking the weight off any and every holiday responsibility because boundaries and limits are best for a proper Virgo.

‘No’ is a complete sentence, and one of my favorites.

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A Blue Heron

Shadow and majesty glided overhead as a blue heron landed right where I was taking afternoon photos along the Ogunquit River. It floated down silently, gracefully, then took a few deliberate steps before standing confidently before me. These sad, cropped photos hardly do the creature justice, but its beauty and magnificence could barely be captured by anything other than an in-person experience. Such enchantment is not to be harnessed for the likes of a blog, though I hope some residual magic remains in the idea and spirit and respect offered to this wonder.

I’ve always had an affinity with the cranes and herons of the world – the way they hold their elegant heads high, allowing whatever raging water of a stream or river to flow chaotically around their stalwart legs, maintaining composure and grace in the face of riotous surroundings. Betsy pointed out that I have a lot of clothing items with cranes and birds on them – confirmation that my soul is made for flight, my heart is designed to soar, and my thoughts are as insubstantial as the wispiest cloud in the sky.

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Sticker Shock, Sticker Hell

Some days the price stickers don’t come easily off anything.

Those are the trying days.

Those are the days you think about giving up.

But you don’t.

You put on your Big Boy Go-To-Hell Pants, you dig out the Goo Gone, and you scrub and you scrape and you tear that sticky pulp off like some retail therapy band-aid designed to save the world.

Or at least your little world, in this one very particular little moment of absolute ludicrousness, like this entire ridiculous post where any and al humor will be completely lost upon the masses.

First world problems until I move to the third world.

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A Secret Easement in Ogunquit

After 25 years it might seem like there is not much new to discover in a small vacation town like Ogunquit, but like the subtly shifting shoreline, there are always new and different things to see, even if it’s just a matter of changing perspective and taking a new route to get to an old favored place. On our last full day in town, I found myself traversing an unfamiliar sidewalk leading off the bumper-to-bumper traffic crawl of Route 1. The slightly obscured walkway brought me up a little hill into a residential area I’d not yet frequented, thought it’s relatively close to our bed and breakfast. 

A border of evergreens beckoned and guided me along the walkway, and around the first turn I was plummeted into a secret garden of dahlias. Great swaths of them still in full bloom, tall and swaying in the wind, bloomed into a chilly afternoon that reminded me we were very deep into fall already. Plate-sized blooms of radial beauty displayed shades of pink, yellow, orange, and red. Cream and white variations softened the more fiery hues, while stretches of colorful zinnias kept up and held their own. 

Feeling as if I’d wandered into some forbidden private garden, I braced myself as a small woman walked toward me, a pair of long shears looking like some double sword in her hands. 

I tried disarming her with a smile, and ventured timidly, “Can you tell me where I am?” She looked at me kindly, slightly puzzled. “I’m sorry,” I continued, “Is this your private property?” and I backed up sheepishly, ready to make a hasty retreat as needed or requested. 

“Oh no, this is a public easement,” she said sweetly. “That’s my house right there,” she continued, pointing to a lovely home that I only then noticed. “The easement goes right through the garden.”

“Oh!” I exclaimed, genuinely excited to meet the person behind such beautiful flowers. “These are your dahlias?!” I asked with perhaps too much enthusiasm. “They are beautiful!”

She proceeded to take me a little tour, showing the best blooms that remained this late in the season, and expressing a wish that I’d seen them just a week ago. Pausing at the many shades and shapes of a stretch of pink plants, I marveled continuously at the parade of prettiness before and behind us. We reached the top of the floriferous path and she pointed out a patch of plants across the street that wasn’t doing as well. “I use only my own compost, but that section doesn’t get as much.” I inquired whether she ever used manure, my go-to for getting plants to prosper, and she said no, only the compost. I told her I was so glad to meet her, saying that I only wanted to go on a pretty walk and she had provided that, then she pointed out several routes to continue on my way. 

It was a lovely surprise ending to a weekend that had been filled with comforting traditions and good company. Until next May, Maine… 

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Favorite Ogunquit Retail Haunts

While dinners usually form the highlight of any given vacation day in Ogunquit – the sea having its typical effect of stimulating the appetite, and the offerings of fresh seafood giving us more options than our usual land-locked availability – the shops of this quaint town offer their own appeal and magic, with unique and lovely items that can’t be found anywhere else. Here are few of my favorites.

Perkins Cove Bookstore – This year marked my first visit to this charming little bookhouse, located near the entry point to Perkins Cove. It’s a cozy, beautifully laid-out space, ideal for taking your time and browsing all sorts of books – from local Maine authors to an extensive LGBTQ+ section, along with a robust children’s and Young Adult selection – in short, there is something for everyone here. 

Kiki’s Ogunquit – Fabulous and fun fashion, alluring and artistic accessories, and a sparkling assortment of jewelry, Kiki’s provides a finely-curated collection of wearable pieces of art. I always manage to find at least one item for myself here, as well gifts for my Mom, in this colorful and vibrant two-story expanse of exquisite delight. 

Spoiled Rotten – An entire grand house unfurls its many rooms of retail wonder, each opening up with gifts and pleasures to savor and experience. Lots of food options abound, along with the beautiful bowls and utensils and trays and napkins on which to serve them – in addition to objects of art and whimsy and local flavor. It’s the sort of place that requires a dedicated stretch of time to peruse and get lost amid its many amusements. 

Perkins Cove Pottery Shop – Local artisans have crafted many of the items available here, and my Mom’s home has an extensive collection of their pottery, each of which is a work of unique art, and fully-functional for home dining fanciness. Along with their gorgeous lineup of pottery, there are gifts and art for the indoors and outdoors – lots of whimsical books, a spattering of rings and jewelry, and some of the friendliest staff of any store in Ogunquit, which is a feat in itself given the overflowing friendliness of most places. 

Calluna Fine Flowers and Gifts – One of the most beautiful shops in Ogunquit, Calluna is a floral feast of olfactory glory, with the best blooms in town, and a cozy space that packs a pretty punch. I don’t know how they manage to fit all the fine clothing, soaps, lotions, and other luxury gift items into the little expanse, but a walk through feels like a journey to another world, where beauty is the order of the day. 

On the Main – A charming bastion of Main Street, this lovely gift shop offers glassware, cards, jewelry, art prints, frames, and accessories to capture a little of Maine’s magic for your own home. 

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Ogunquit Fall Magic

Ogunquit granted us a gift this fall, in the form of some very fine late-summer weather that recalled our very first trip here together twenty-five years ago. Sunny and warm, with only the slightest sea breeze at the start of a long weekend, the bulk of our days were idyllic – some bit of proverbial Fontainebleau hanging on by sheer force of will.

Arriving on Thursday, our more-or-less merry band of three (Andy, Mom and myself) settled in instantly for a few days of relaxing ease in the charm and enchantment of this Beautiful Place By the Sea. Our usual magnificent room at the Scotch Hill Inn, and Anthony’s sumptuous breakfasts made for a delectable start to all of our days, and having a familiar and comforting home base is key to any real relaxation on vacation. 

We got all of the cozy beauty of fall – its super-saturated flowers glowing in the golden afternoon light, its gorgeous gourd and pumpkin displays, and the various shades of turquoise, aquamarine and cerulean of its Atlantic water – all backed by a warmth of weather that usually departs by September

Only on our last full day did the atmosphere shift incontrovertibly to autumn, with the over-teased first bands of a Nor’easter that never quite bothered us, but which provided a discernible switch from the balmy into the bittersweet, as the wind kicked up and the clouds rolled in. A number of degrees cooler was not an unwelcome downgrade; there’s nothing wrong with being seasonally appropriate, especially with so many beautiful coats to wear.

All in all, it was a lovely trip of calm and healing, remembering times with Dad and Gram, and appreciating Maine in autumn with all its raw, majestic splendor. 

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