A Virtual Boston Weekend with Kira – Part 2

“Thank god I don’t mind insults!” Kira says as we bundle up against a chilly Boston morning. 

“Yes, because you are dressed for insults,” I reply.

It’s our usual banter, but for some reason I want to remember it. I pause to type the exchange quickly into my phone.

“Are you writing what I’m saying?” she demands. “Is this going to be in your blog?”

The winter sun is brilliant. The wind isn’t too strong. Spring wasn’t quite in the air yet, but it was close.

“I don’t know yet,” I finally answer. “Hopefully something better will come out of your mouth.”

A brisk Saturday morning begins with some croissants from Cafe Madeleine. After Friday’s home-based splashdown into town, we awake early, refreshed and ready to explore the city. If we’re feeling especially arty or are looking for some sort of inspiration, we may visit the Museum of Fine Arts or the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum. If we’re feeling adventurous (and the Red Line is running that way) we may head over the river into Cambridge. For the most part, however, we tend to feel like a day of shopping and hotel lobby hopping, where we rest and recuperate in between our walks. 

Lately we’ve been heading back to the condo by early afternoon, to enjoy a siesta, the duration of which seems to grow longer and longer the older we get. The last time I was there I also introduced Kira to some meditation. It’s a world away from our afternoons and nights in the 90’s, some of which I no longer even remember. Happily, it’s a better world. 

We will finish whatever movie we fell asleep through the night before, as the afternoon sun streams into the bedroom bay window. I will scroll through the offerings on OpenTable for later that evening, and then we’ll head into the kitchen to get some nuts and olives and some fancy mocktail dolled up with a couple of citrus twists. Often at these times I’ll be struck with a pang of the thought of the next morning – the sadness of a Sunday – and I’ll make plans for our next get-together. I’ve been trying to live in the moment rather than in some future indeterminate time that may or may not come to fruition; I don’t always succeed. Here, in the transition from day to night, we talk about the future, and that leaves me with hope. 

Dressing for dinner, which once upon a time took up a preponderance of effort and consideration, has now become a rushed bit of a chore, which is how it should be when in the company of a trusted friend. I still get some kicks out of putting on something fancy, but it matters less these days. Kira never put much stock in such silliness. Conversation and togetherness means more. It always did. 

And so we would find ourselves at Saturday night dinner, decked out as much as we wanted to muster, realizing that all those little in-between moments were where the real dazzle and excitement was. How fortunate to find it so, as there are so many more in-between moments than fancy, dressy dinners. 

The world was shifting before we even knew it was shifting. That’s often the way. Kira has spent the last few years teaching me, mostly through her own resilient example, how to embrace change, to lean into it and accept it as a challenge, and a way of bettering oneself. Back at the condo, we would usually scrounge the fridge and freezer for some sweet treat to accompany a cup of tea, and Saturday night would come to an all-too-swift close. 

It feels somewhat distant now, and with each day it grows a little fuzzier. Maybe that’s why I make such efforts to document the time we spend together. I don’t want that world to go away just yet. That’s my fear of change. It’s a small fear though, and a rather insignificant one when I pause to fully analyze it, because time and and distance can never fracture the kind of friendship I share with Kira. 

We will be back together in Boston at some point – maybe not this month, maybe not this summer, maybe not this fall – but one day I know we will be back together. All of us. 

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A Virtual Boston Weekend with Kira – Part 1

It’s been about three months since I’ve had the fortune to hang out with my friend Kira, which is not the longest we’ve gone by any stretch. We didn’t see each other for over ten years when I moved to Chicago with an ex-boyfriend and she moved to Florida with an ex-husband. Once the exes were out of our lives, we found our way back to each other in Boston, even if I didn’t live there full-time anymore. Since then we have occasionally gone months without hanging out, and that has never strained the bonds of our friendship. There are certain friends who are like that, and certain friendships that are not bothered or rested by time apart. We fall right back in perfect stride with them when we are lucky enough to meet again. That doesn’t mean I don’t miss Kira, especially during these difficult times, and so I’m going to recall some of our typical weekends together.

It begins with the drive. If I time it just right – and leave precisely between 12:30 and 1 pm – I can get into town just in time to snag one of the South End Visitor parking spots at the end of most of the side streets near the condo. Arriving by three o’clock lands me at the sweet spot for parking – because then I’m good for the weekend. If all else fails and there are no spots, I’ll bite the bullet and park in a garage. If snow is predicted I may do that as a precaution too. (I do not scrape snow off a car.) After unloading whatever I’ve brought from Albany (it’s so much easier to bring bulk staples like paper towels, toilet paper, and cleaning supplies from upstate New York than taking the T and spending city prices for that stuff) I have a few hours before Kira gets out of work, in which I’ll do some shopping, often for dinner provisions.

For a number of years we’d head out on that Friday night for a late-dinner after 9 PM – sometimes in the South End, many times in Chinatown – and then a nightcap somewhere to celebrate the arrival of the weekend. In the last few months we’ve eschewed going out on that first Friday, opting to stay in and have dinner at the condo. It’s nice to cook for Kira after she’s spent a full week at work – a couple of weeks ago I’d assembled a big charcuterie platter and sent her a photo of it before she was done for the day and she said it was the happiest thing she’d seen in a long time.

By the time she arrives, two or three ridiculously-stuffed and oversized Vera Bradley bags hanging off her shoulders, dinner is ready to be served. Maybe Billie Holiday is playing in the background, or Shirley Horn, or Celia Cruz – something for the evening that could be mellow and soothing or exhilarating in anticipatory delight. I’ll sip on a mocktail and once in a while I can convince her to sip on a glass of wine (she can nurse the same bottle for a couple of months since she barely drinks, even if that’s against the advice and practice of just about everyone who drinks wine). Lately we’ve both been doing the mocktail scene and it hasn’t changed much in our interactions. I’ve always felt safe and comforted in Kira’s presence; we take care of each other. That kind of safety and assurance is rare, and one of the many reasons I cherish our friendship.

It’s also fun. As I catch her scrolling through cleaning supplies on Amazon (who does that?) I gently poke fun at what she’s doing. “Oh, I get it!” I exclaim. “Cleaning supplies are like porn for you. Mr. Clean is your ultimate porn star!” She shakes her head at my nonsense, and I take a silly selfie before she’s ready and her earring is in. 

Amid the soft glow of a few candles, we sit at the dining table and share a meal, looking out at Boston twinkling in the night. We will catch up on what the previous weeks or months have been like for each of us, and as disparate and different as our adventures may have been, we somehow intermingle our tales, and the roots of our friendship grow deeper. Dinner done, I’ll take a quick spa shower while Kira works on the dishes – her contribution since I cooked – and then we’ll switch, as she takes a spa shower and I finish the clean-up.

There – right there – is often the jewel of a moment that marks the happiest moment of the weekend. It’s a brief glint of promise and potential, a flash of quiet and contentment as I turn down the lights, blow out the candles and feel the ease of a full Saturday inch open in the midnight hour…

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Shea Says and I Listen

She is my favorite essential grocery worker right now and, because of her, Price Chopper is back in my good graces. (Like Starbucks, we’ve had a tumultuous relationship over the years, but we’re still together so that says something.) Grocery markets have had to remain open in these frightening and uncertain times, and Jasmine Shea is helping to hold everything together at the Price Chopper right by my home. She’s been my heroine ever since she recognized my Clockwork Orange costume one Halloween (everyone else that was at the store that night was in shock and awe over my codpiece because they just thought I wore that every day). She cemented that status a few weeks ago when she gave me a heads-up on the day they got toilet paper in her store (one of the many benefits of being her FaceBook friend).

For an even more in-depth and entertaining look at her store stories, check out her new podcast ‘Shea Says’ which is turning me into a podcast fan. (That’s something not even Skip or Suzie could get me into, and that tells you a lot because they can usually get me to do anything.) It makes sense: Jasmine’s a pro who’s been on the radio before, and she knows her way around telling a compelling story – sometimes heartbreakingly serious, often riotously hilarious, and occasionally moving and poignant – she hits those emotional peaks, and her podcasts give a glimpse behind the essential grocery worker mask (and a number of other life events).

With a delightfully saucy edge, she reminds me of what it’s like for the people working on the public service side of this frightening world. I physically go in to my office only once a week right now – she’s done six-day work-weeks on a regular basis in recent weeks. Whenever I find myself waiting in a line anywhere (hello Lowes) I think of Jasmine and calm the fuck down. She also volunteers to help others – I saw her heading out to help with a Feed Albany run on one of her rare days off. Aspirational. Inspirational. Take-no-prisoners truth-telling at its best.

Give a listen to ‘Shea Says’ here.

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Live Male Figure Drawing with Paul & Briden

My friend and amazing artist Paul Richmond is putting on quite a show this weekend, with a live male figure drawing featuring him and fellow artist Briden Schureren dropping trou for some anatomical inspiration. Whether it’s painting or drawing or even sand sculpture I suppose, viewers are invited to indulge in whatever art form they wish with a live model via Zoom in this unique event. Given the current state of the world, typical live figure drawing is mostly on hold; this posits the socially isolated safety we crave with an intimate technological sitting thanks to cameras and computers. Both Richmond and Schureren will be posing, turning the artist into the figure model and putting a fun, and courageous, twist on how these things are usually done. In such difficult times, this is a way to support a working artist, and if you are struggling yourself there is a sliding payment scale, so contribute what you can afford. Visit Paul’s website here for all the details.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhPuFqFKr3A

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30 Years of Posing

Three decades ago this week, Madonna’s ‘Vogue’ was perched in the #1 musical chart position, taking the world by storm, and setting up a summer that would go down as one of Madonna’s finest. She was out on her Blonde Ambition World Tour, starring in ‘Dick Tracy’, and putting the gay underground dance craze on the pop culture map. This is as good a time as any to celebrate the majesty of this song in Madonna’s catalog, and its place in her impressive career as cultural icon. I won’t go too deep – check out the original Madonna Timeline post for that extensive exploration. We’ll keep this post to a remix video and some classic GIFs. 

LADIES WITH AN ATTITUDE
FELLOWS THAT WERE IN THE MOOD
DON’T JUST STAND THERE
LET’S GET TO IT
STRIKE A POSE
THERE’S NOTHING TO IT
VOGUE

‘Vogue’ remains the ultimate escape song, a fantasy where the world’s problems can be solved on the dance floor, and the ghosts of all the gay men lost to AIDS hovered like angels. It was a way to rise above the darkness that had touched so many, and maybe that’s what we need once again. 

WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS AND YOU LONG TO BE
SOMETHING BETTER THAN YOU ARE TODAY
I KNOW  PLACE WHERE YOU CAN GET AWAY…

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TikTok We Don’t Stop

Sometimes you have to admit when you don’t belong somewhere. Here are a few places I simply shouldn’t be:

A blueberry-pie-eating contest. (One of my first memories is my brother having a diaper full of gross shit after eating a few too many blueberries. To this day I cannot abide blueberry compote.)

A dance recital for kids from kindergarten to high school. (I did that once, and we paid our dues. By number 83, I was ready to take a hostage. Or volunteer to be one.)

A line longer than ten people. (I don’t need gas, money, or anything at Trader Joe’s that badly, and I never will.)

And TikTok.

I have no business being on TikTok.

And yet here I am.

Addicted.

Enthralled.

Intoxicated by this time sucker.

 A trusted friend whose taste I admire and whose judgment I trust insisted I give it a try a few months ago, which I did. On February 1, 2020, I opened my account (way before Madonna started hers, thank you very much) and posted a silly video of Suzie in which it’s painfully obvious neither she nor I knew what we were doing. I did a few more videos and promptly forgot about it until a few weeks ago when we went into social isolation and suddenly there was nothing to do. At the tail end of winter, it provided a silly glimpse into the lives of others. It was mostly for teens, but there was a growing contingent of 40-something parents on it as well, who were finding their own way of expressing themselves. It’s designed for silliness and nonsense, and may very well be the ideal weapon for combating my perfectionist tendencies. (Turns out perfectionism is one of the flaws that has plagued me and contributed to some unhealthy behaviors over the entirety of my life.)

Letting loose on a medium like TikTok is an easy way to dance in public (one of the recommendations for how to get over the embarrassment of not being perfect all the time) so this may have more value than a time-filler. They have a strict no-eggplant/no-bare-ass policy and are much more stringent than FaceBook when it comes to that sort of thing, so you’ll still have to come here for the cheekier side of me, but if you want to see old-school Madonna CDs, spins around the garden, and some Speedo longings, set up an account (you don’t need to post, you can simply watch) and follow me at @alanilagan.

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Tulipa

The genus Tulipa has been captivating growers and flower appreciators for generations. I remain charmed by their colorful, if brief, showing every May, and their slightly spicy scent that has yet to be accurately embodied in a perfume. It’s for the best. Treasures like that are more beloved for their elusive and temporal nature. That said, fragrance is secondary to the visual impact these bulbs produce, which is usually best the first year after they are planted. Some reliably perennial varieties have been produced, but I still enjoy these in other gardens rather than my own. Too many rodents would feast on them if I were to put them into the ground, and I couldn’t do that to a bulb that once caused a world frenzy. 

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The Sweetest Carpet

Sweet woodruff is in bloom this week in the garden, and out of the garden to be honest, as this plucky performer tends to overstep its bounds with alarming regularity. I haven’t minded, as its never been unwelcome. When the charming show of its snow-white flowers ends, it maintains this fresh green foliage and structure, ideal for a groundcover in a shady slightly moist space. I’m going to take a few plugs of it and put it on our side bank where we have a few problematic areas. Groundcovers work wonders for these situations.

I’ve read that these plants have been used for May wine and sachets. Maybe I’ll try the sachet idea. We are all going back to basics. Little joys and simple living. This is how spring eases into summer. This is May. It is quite possibly my favorite month – even the name allows for possibility and hope – May…

I love the starry form of its leaflets, the way they bring the firmament to the floor, carpeting the ground with stars and for this brief time of the year a fluttering cloud of white blossoms. 

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When Fabulous Repeats Itself

For the past few years, I’ve passed this same azalea in full bloom in a little side corridor of downtown Albany, and it always thrills. Not having spent anywhere near as much time as I typically do downtown thanks to New York on PAUSE, I’ve missed this sort of excitement – the color play of hot pink with the vibrancy of its green leaves. It is a stunning combination – an inspiration on so many levels.

These annual reminders of spring are getting noticed a bit more this year, maybe because I haven’t seen them on such a daily basis, or maybe because I’m seeing things in a way that I used to see them before grown-up concerns in life got in the way. 

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Glitter & Wisdom

Someone posted this meme on FaceBook yesterday and it’s the best encapsulation of how insidiously COVID can spread. It’s also spot-on about the danger of glitter – a risky product in its own environmentally-unfriendly way. As the Capital Region is set to begin Phase 1 of its reopening process, this seemed a timely post in the hopes that people aren’t the stupid jackasses I’ve witnessed during the non-open pause phase.

I was in a store-that-shall-not-be-named the other day, and I was following the arrows of the aisle, only to be greeted head-on with a store worker going the wrong way. Maybe it only applies to customers, but they can’t be mad at the confused masses then. Good luck Albany, and Godspeed. I will do my best to keep the faith. In people. In humanity. Let’s do this wisely and safely. 

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This Woman is a Boss

Some people are saying that Donald Trump is morbidly obese. 

(Don’t worry, #PresidentTweety, it’s only those with seeing eyes.)

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Shirtless Male Celebs, Some in Motion

Tuckered out from a wariness with the world’s current state, this is a lazy catch-all post with some gratuitous shirtless hunks who have appeared here before. It’s a Thirsty Tuesday, whose alliteration would probably work better on Thursday but we need it now. 

First up is Liam Payne, who continues his collaboration with Hugo Boss in some athletic gear. I preferred the underwear shots, but these will do in a Tuesday morning pinch. 

Tom Trotter bathes in the light of a setting sun while posing in a Speedo.

Franco Noriega paints a pretty picture in motion in a pair of GIFs. 

Joshua Jackson brings back the tighty-whities of the 80’s in ‘Little Fires Everywhere’, and it’s getting surprisingly popular reactions. He still doesn’t have a proper Hunk of the Day post yet, but that should be rectified shortly. 

Saquon Barkley gives good GIFs here, as promised by his own Hunk of the Day feature. 

Todd Sanfield knows how to sell underwear.

Pietro Boselli knows how to sell himself.

And Taylor Lautner knows how to sell rain. (Without his shirt.)

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Cherries and Lilacs in One Spring Recap

Another roller-coaster of a week ends and begins. I’m not sure how much more of 2020 we can all take without checking into a looney bin for sheer relief. Just kidding, I’m not even close to being there, and I’m weathering our new normal better than most people. Andy and I have found a rhythm and a certain peace to co-habitating 24/7, which isn’t that surprising given our ability to get along swimmingly on vacation. In the best possible mindset, I just look upon this as a vacation of sorts, and a preparation for the new way of the world. It’s not so scary and onerous if you frame it that way. On with our weekly recap…

FaceBook unveiled a new avatar option, as seen in the featured pics here. I haven’t written a blog post on it because, well, I can’t be bothered. Maybe I’ll do it another time. Until then, gaze upon something that looks not very much like me, and just be thankful for that. (I tried to put more gray in the hair area, but this is the best I could do, as the next option was white – not quite there yet, but close! These days are saltier than the pepper.)

The first Monday in May just wasn’t the same this year.

Todd Sanfield models his own underwear line himself. Respect.

A lovely lilac ending to the week.

How could I forget?!?

It was piano music that brought back these memories. Not a song I knew or had even heard before, but it was played by someone I used to know. 

Just wear a mask and don’t be a dick.

Our perfectly quiet and quietly perfect 10th wedding anniversary.

My summer body, from many summers ago.

Some semi-naked male celebrities in shades of grey. 

Nothing semi here: this is Nicholas Hoult naked. 

Yes children, these are called CDs and I still have a bunch of them.

This vase is a vessel of beauty and holder of flowers and memories. 

A new spring cologne by Kilian, quite suitable for wearing at home.

My dear friend Ann lost her mother this week, and I lost a big piece of my past. 

The under-appreciated and oft-vilified dandelion deserves some praise.

Stillness and storms – an apt description for a week that went in all directions. Flowers, gardening and meditation kept me as sane as possible. I highly suggest all three for anyone seeking some peace, and I’m completely open to all suggestions on other avenues of tranquility. 

The week ended, and a new one begins, on this lovely lilac note.

Hunks of the Day included Kenta Seki, Max von Essen, Jake Picking, Tom Trotter, and Saquon Barkley.

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A Lilac Running Through the Years

This will be a quiet post, in a Sunday of quiet posts. We’re at that point, I suppose. If you’re lucky enough to be in the vicinity of a lilac bush in bloom, I implore you to pause whatever you’re doing (even if it’s reading this post – I’ll be here when you return) and go take a deep inhalation of its glorious perfume. It is the scent of spring, the aroma of hope, the fragrance of happy nostalgia. If you had a childhood where lilacs played any part, they probably have similar connotations. For Andy, they remind him of his mother.

I watched as he walked over to the lilac bush we’ve had since we moved into our home, a gift from his departed Mum. That single lilac has multiplied into a couple of stands over the years. Sometimes there is a bountiful bunch of flowers, other times the flowering is spare and sparse. The one constant is the fragrance – always the same, always redolent of our childhoods, of innocent memories. He stopped and breathed in their perfume.  There were happy memories in the scented air.

Lilacs remind me of my Mom as well, as they would always be blooming for Mother’s Day. I’d sneak out the night before and wrangle them from their gnarled stands, carefully cutting the stems and putting them in water as part of her gift presentation the following Sunday morning. We also had several groups of them on and near our property, so they reminded me of childhood and the first flush of spring – always a relief after the dour darkness of winter.

The day’s sun begins its slow descent. It lingers longer now, extending its warmth and light, delaying the day second by second. Blue sky backs the cloud of lilacs hovering near Andy’s head as he captures a photograph. The songs of birds mingle with the chirps of chipmunks. Nature has been in a good mood, and we are grateful for this. Sundays should be about gratitude.  

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Stillness and Storms

It was a stillness I’d only ever read about. We’ve come close to more than our fair share of tornadoes over the years. New York has been surprisingly fertile for them in recent seasons it seems, so while it’s a wee bit early for them, all bets are off in 2020. By the way the temperature skyrocketed into the 80’s in just a couple of hours, it felt like something major was on the march.

The stillness was pronounced. Maybe all the wind we’ve had of late made it more noticeable. It was a quiet that crashed, a quiet that clanged and clattered, a quiet that made a disturbance. As I finished up my daily meditation, I opened my eyes and looked out the front window. Sunlight, strong and warm – the strongest and the warmest of the year by far – brought out every scale of the arborvitae hedge, each deep red leaf of the Japanese maple, and all the softly-hued blooms of the lilac bush. It was a beautiful day, but something was off. It was too quiet. Too still. There was absolutely no breeze, no movement. It was like a photograph, or that moment when the video freezes, but it’s not really frozen. It was an eerie atmosphere. The air of anticipation – typical Friday emotional fare – was heavier than usual.

The wind picked up. It was high at first, and only the tops of the oaks and pines swayed slightly. Birds cried out a bit, and a squirrel meandered through the front yard. I walked through the house to the back patio, taking down two new hanging geraniums from their newly-erected canopy perch. I’d only just assembled it, and a few years ago we had a storm that took a similar structure out within a few short days of going up. That heartbreaking moment was why I had already secured this one with two ropes tied into the ground.

Andy came out and we looked at the Kwanzan cherry tree in full bloom; he lamented the likely fall of all those pretty pink petals. I did too. There was another shift in atmosphere and things went silently still again. We paused to admire the cherry tree for a little while longer. I also took a before-the-storm selfie, which is the featured pic above. I almost always forget to take any photos with the cherry as a backdrop, until it’s too late. It looked like I only had a few more minutes to make it this year.  

We went back inside and waited for the storm to arrive. Andy monitored the progress of the line of them, and soon they were bearing down with full gusts and cold drops of rain. The temperature, which had gone all the way up into the lower 80’s, plummeted twenty degrees. My ridiculous sleeveless shirt was a joke in this weather, but I got a couple of videos as the storm began to tear down the cherry blossoms. 

The wind was stronger than I expected, even with all the storm warnings, and I suddenly panicked that the canopy wasn’t going to stay in place. Quickly, I tied two more ropes to the frame, getting pelted with wind and rain in the process but not caring because I was determined not to lose the canopy this soon. Plus, I have needed a haircut for three weeks so no amount of wind and rain was going to mess up the mop on my head and part of the masochistic side of me wanted to see how bad things could really get. 

I watched as the fig tree and tomato plants whipped around in their newly-planted homes, hoping they could withstand the vicious rush of wind. I’d nestled them together beneath the canopy in the hopes they would weather the onslaught better en masse. The sweet potato baskets would stay hanging on the frame, lending their weight and soaking up the rainwater since they needed a drink. 

Almost as soon as it began, it was over, and inwardly I thanked the powers-that-be for sparing us a tornado or a gust that might have ripped the canopy down before we’ve even had a chance to enjoy it. The first storm of the season was done. We had weathered it with some preparation, some last minute fortification, and whatever luck that kept the plants and the yard intact. The rain remained, and it was a peaceful balm, gently nourishing the gardens and the lawn. 

Spring was always wild this way.

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