Category Archives: Holiday

It seems that there are those who took this post to heart, and a few have already thanked me for it, so in that spirit of Christmas counter-programming, here is a little list of links that have absolutely nothing to do with Christmas. Most are gratuitous summer posts, and a few are just random nonsense to pass the rest of the day. Get your merry on, get your freak on, get your Boxing Day paraphernalia ready! Dukes up…

A Bohemian Summer collection.

A Coquette Summer cacophony.

Summer floral abundance.

Shirtless summer frolicking. 

Summer break.

Summer nakedness.

Summer deep dive.

Summer speedo.

Year-round gratuitous male nudity.

This is a bit of an odd Christmas message. It goes out to all of you who may be be scrolling through your phones trying to escape your family or circumstances, holed up in a childhood bedroom or vainly trying to disappear into the corner of a couch while passers-by fail at being surreptitious in glancing at your screen. Maybe you’re at an endless Christmas dinner table, where half the people have already brought out their phones instead of engaging in conversation and you’re trying to look like you have concerns of greater import as well. 

For a lot of us, Christmas is just another minefield of social anxiety-prone situations, of dealing with difficult family dynamics, and ignoring the grievances that have piled up throughout the years. We build it up to be this year-ending finale of joy and wonderment, a moment that suddenly erases all wounds, and the hype and hoopla rarely translates into anything that meets expectations. 

For those of you waking up to the emptiness that Christmas sometimes becomes, this post is for you. It won’t solve any of those issues, it won’t change your mindset or dramatically alter your mood – it exists simply to give you a friendly nod, to let you know you’re not alone, and that this day doesn’t have to be what humankind has led you to believe it should be. There are lessons in the Christmas story that are timeless and pertinent, and they are so trite and basic that if you need a reminder of them you probably aren’t living a life of basic decency and goodness anyway. (I also find that those who espouse such religious virtuosity seem to forget those very lessons when it comes to forgiveness or immigrants or homeless people.)

It’s a reminder that though you may momentarily feel like a misfit, in whatever situation you find yourself, this is merely a day – one of many days in a year, and a lifetime – and it need not carry any more weight than what we give it. It’s a reminder that you are not alone, no matter how isolated you might feel, whether in a sea of family and friends or in an apartment by yourself, because we all feel alone at times. And sometimes the loneliest people are those who are surrounded by others all the time, because if you don’t know what it’s like to ever be alone, how can you truly appreciate the company of others? 

My plan for the day is to appreciate the moments of stillness and quiet, and carve out a few for myself if they don’t magically appear. I wish you a very Merry Christmas, and a happiness and contentment that goes beyond this finite season. 

Sorrowful confession: I haven’t felt the Christmas spirit yet this year. While not outright or immediate cause for alarm, I did have a twinge of concern as I closed out this year’s holiday stroll weekend with nary a particular moment of holiday spirit. Perhaps it was this damper at the Newbury Boston, or maybe the second Christmas without my Dad is hitting more keenly than the first since it’s finally settling in – whatever the reason, the traditional comfort and warmth of the season has thus far eluded me. 

Sometimes it happens this way – and sometimes it shows up right before the big event. Even if it doesn’t, I’ve made my peace with not feeling the same joy we once did as kids. In addition to doing my own growing up, the world has changed in the past few years, leveling traditions that once felt like they would, and should, last a lifetime. And honestly, I simply don’t care. It’s ok to change, and it’s ok to step back and away from customs that exist simply for the sake of custom. There is power in such history, and sentiment in such traditions; there is also power in letting them go when the time is right. 

Some wreaths try to do too much.

Take this one – it’s beautiful.

Gorgeous. 

Striking.

Magnifient.

But it’s too extra.

The heart of a wreath should be open – not filled in with berries and bullshit.

Signed,

The Tasteful Holiday Grinch

My entirely unorthodox and way-out-of-the-box intention for this holiday season, and the winter beyond, is that it be cozy. A cozy Christmas. Filled with warmth and simplicity, peace and good-will. The most hum-drum and mundane theme one could possibly hope to find in a Christmas season, and yet of late it also seems to be the most elusive. Maybe because we all assume those tenets of the holidays are naturally part of it we forget that it won’t just happen without a little work. Toward that end, I’ve decorated the Boston condo for our annual Holiday Stroll with Kira and the Children’s Holiday Hour (for which we are down to one child this year), and planned a few intimate diners with long-time friends. That is enough for now. 

Our attic has been filled with candles and a simple tree that will glow into January. Adding to our happy holiday intention is the line-up of holiday movies that we’ve been finding on television lately  – ‘A Christmas Story’, ‘Christmas Vacation‘, ‘Aunt Mame’, ‘The Man Who Came to Dinner’, ‘Gremlins’, ‘It Happened on 5th Avenue‘. Ever since we turned off the horrid news channels, the house has been brighter and lighter and so much more enjoyable. I don’t think I realized how heavy and upsetting it was making us – and why we would let something over which we clearly have no control dominate any space in our lives is beyond me. This is refreshingly better. Happier and healthier too. It dovetails with some new boundaries with family and friends, which have made for easier days – it’s so much friendlier with two, and Andy and I have been happily hunkering down for the march to and through winter. 

Echoing shades of this year’s holiday card, this little squirrel is Andy’s homage to ‘National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation’, and hides in our tree for savvy viewers to find. Little unexpected delights like that are the best part of any proper Christmas. Winks of whimsy, flights of fancy, and favorite things comprise the holiday. Hidden treats in a Christmas tree are the whole point of such a tree. 

Welcome to this year’s low-key holiday card!

Entitled ‘Shitter’s Full!’ it’s a straight-forward homage to ‘National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation’, a holiday movie that I’ve only recently begun to enjoy. Andy has loved it for years, but like Buffalo chicken wings, it’s a joy I’ve come to later in life. (Turns out I’m a late-bloomer in just about every aspect.) 

I almost went with the mock turtleneck and dickie ensemble from the egg nog scene (a little nod with the moose glass closes out the post) but that felt too obscure, and I was already unsure how well this would read for my Christmas card list, but fuck it, it’s my card and I love it. And even Andy seemed amused by it, which is an accomplishment unto itself (and not just because he was the one who clicked this shot). 

My very first photo card was sent out in 1995. That means next year will mark the 30th anniversary of when I first started sending out photo cards for Christmas, and it’s going to be a doozy. I already have an idea of what it will be, and it’s going to be big… For now, enjoy this casual Christmas romp, the wardrobe of which I already had in various closets (the only things I had to get were the cigar and a can of beer).  

Previous holiday cards (the ones since I went digital):

• 2004: The Snow Queen
• 2005: Disco Ball Shock Jock
• 2006: Christmas Crucifixion
• 2007: Bad Dumpster Santa
• 2008: Beautiful Christmas By the Sea
• 2009: Angelic Ass
• 2010: The Wedding Card
• 2011: Uncle Al’s Radio Flyer
• 2012: Eat Your Holiday Heart Out
• 2013: The Baby Brothers Ilagan
• 2014: Let It Snow
• 2015: A Holiday Ax to Grind
• 2016: Little Baby Jesus
• 2017: Classy Condo Cheers
• 2018: Incendiary Reflection
• 2019: Bake Me a Man
• 2020: A Family Affair
• 2021: Winter Slumber
• 2022: The Godfather
• 2023: Father Time

The Grinch who stole Christmas was right about a great many things, and he doesn’t get enough credit for that. Atop his snowbound wintry mountain, all he wanted was some peace and quiet during the holiday season without having to hear the off-key yowling of a bunch of Whos. I too find myself craving quiet and silence, though I do my best not to steal Christmas from the rest of the people.

To that end, Andy and I stopped throwing our annual Christmas party several years ago – long before COVID made it ok for the socially anxious among us to embrace the happy solitude and one-on-one gatherings that once seemed so at odds with the bombast and cacophony of Christmas. Why should we cram ourselves into noisy rooms and raucous events in the name of… Jesus? Is that what His birth embodies today? 

The simplicity of that celebrated manger scene – just mother and child and whatever cuck role Joseph played in the whole thing – makes for a lovely scene, largely for its very simplicity. A few years ago, right after I stopped drinking and starting realizing what was important to me, I stepped out of the social scenes that so often signify the holiday season, and started setting up dinners and visits with friends who mattered the most to me. Quiet, intimate, and marked by bonhomie and comfort, they were sprinkled throughout the weeks leading up to Christmas and offered the opportunity to connect with people in more meaningful fashion than any party or social gathering could ever afford. My main regret at every party I have ever thrown has been that I didn’t get to really talk to anyone because I felt like I had to talk to everyone. The host’s unfortunate dilemma.

At this point in my life, that’s what really matters, and that’s what this Christmas season is going to be. A holiday stroll with Kira, a holiday weekend in Boston with Chris and Suzie, and dinners with various friends along the way will round out the time I’m happily and cozy ensconced at home with Andy – a joy unto itself more than ever these days. We’ve all been battered a bit by the world this year – may this last month go easy on us, leading into a calmer New Year.