Author Archives: Alan Ilagan

“How can you have rivals when no one else can do what you do?” ~ Terrence McNally, ‘Master Class’

When I was younger, and far longer than the twenty years ago when this project was created, I had a much different reading of the opening quote here. Back then I took it with all the heady hubris of a twenty-something young man – young in almost every way. 

Then time passed.

I grew up a little.

And a lot. 

And I realized that the opening words are true for everyone. 

When you realize that – truly and genuinely realize it, take it to heart and let it seep into your soul – you realize there’s no longer a need to compete. You step off the hamster wheel, you step off the scale, you step off the comparison bandwagon, and you are suddenly free. 

‘Comparison is the ultimate thief of joy.’

Or, just mind your own fucking business. 

Both are paths that lead to happier places. 

I’m not quite sure what this has to do with Divine Diva Tour, or why I’m even writing it now, but posting this project from twenty years ago has me intermingling the past with the present. To ignore the evolution that’s progressed in these past two decades is to do a grave disservice to the riches of retrospect at hand. 

These are the sort of riches that can never be found in a jewelry box or bank, they cannot be saved or purchased or bought, they can only be experienced. 

Once upon a time I sold the story to myself that I was divine, and I believed it because I believed everyone was divine. Egalitarian hubris, perhaps. Vanity that candles itself out in the celebration, adoration and devotion to others. 

And the shadow of manipulation that saw it all through glasses far darker than rose. 

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three
2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
3. A Purple-Hued Interlude
4. Style & Panache: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
5. Purple Puff Confection: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
6. A Blue-Hued Interlude
7. Fuchsia Fabulousness: Part One. Part Two and Part Three.
8. Bad Boy Bangs: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
9. Vanity Under Where: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
10. Sugar Plum Ballerina: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
11. A Pool Frolic: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
12. A Cemetery Interlude: Part One and Part Two.
13. Powder Blue Fur Doll: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
14. A Milky Interlude 
15. Rock Out, Cock Out/ Hang Out, Wang Out: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
16. Cocktail Cocktale: Part One and Part Two.
17. A Fairy’s Interlude: Part One and Part Two.
18. Willy Wonkers: Part One and Part Two.

Tying ribbons to the tips of a black umbrella made for a mad scene beside a graveyard. 

Snow fell on that day.

He didn’t need the sunglasses unless he was trying to hide the eyeshadow. 

A slim gray suit, all three pieces, borrowed from a boyfriend. 

Twenty years later, neither of us can fit into that suit, but it’s still a pretty thing.

Time turns us inside out. 

“A performance is a struggle.

You have to win.

The audience is the enemy.

We have to bring you to your knees because we’re right. 

If I’m worried about what you’re thinking about me, I can’t win.

Art is domination. 

It’s making people think that for that precise moment in time there is only one way, on voice. 

Yours.”

~ Terrence McNally ‘Master Class’

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three
2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
3. A Purple-Hued Interlude
4. Style & Panache: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
5. Purple Puff Confection: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
6. A Blue-Hued Interlude
7. Fuchsia Fabulousness: Part One. Part Two and Part Three.
8. Bad Boy Bangs: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
9. Vanity Under Where: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
10. Sugar Plum Ballerina: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
11. A Pool Frolic: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
12. A Cemetery Interlude: Part One and Part Two.
13. Powder Blue Fur Doll: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
14. A Milky Interlude 
15. Rock Out, Cock Out/ Hang Out, Wang Out: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
16. Cocktail Cocktale: Part One and Part Two.
17. A Fairy’s Interlude: Part One and Part Two.
18. Willy Wonkers: Part One.

Culturally-deficient confession: I have never seen any iteration of the Willy Wonka movies. 

Not the original with Gene Wilder, nor any of the remakes with Johnny Depp or Timothee Chalamet. 

Am I missing anything?

I am aware of the visuals, however, and they inform this darker and more sinister take on the top-hatted cultural icon. It marks another turn in the Divine Diva Tour, and the fairy has another tale to tell.

“Where is fancy bred? In the heart or in the head?”

“The story is about the opposite aspects of one and the same person; that which pushes him to escape into a faraway world of adventure and fantasy, and the other part which keeps him bound to common practicality – his id and his ego, the manifestation of the reality principle and the pleasure principle.” ~ Bruno Bettelheim

Shadows and outlines, the man who is there, the man who is not there, the man who will never be.

There or anywhere. 

“There’s no earthly way of knowing which direction we are going.”

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three
2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
3. A Purple-Hued Interlude
4. Style & Panache: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
5. Purple Puff Confection: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
6. A Blue-Hued Interlude
7. Fuchsia Fabulousness: Part One. Part Two and Part Three.
8. Bad Boy Bangs: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
9. Vanity Under Where: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
10. Sugar Plum Ballerina: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
11. A Pool Frolic: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
12. A Cemetery Interlude: Part One and Part Two.
13. Powder Blue Fur Doll: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
14. A Milky Interlude 
15. Rock Out, Cock Out/ Hang Out, Wang Out: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
16. Cocktail Cocktale: Part One and Part Two.
17. A Fairy’s Interlude: Part One and Part Two.

The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale focuses on the second half of its title, as our journey shifts into a more fairy-tale oriented atmosphere, starting with this glimpse into the forest. It’s a place featured in pivotal points of most fairy tales – it is danger and risk, power and might, magic and charm, transformation and realization – sometimes all at once. For the purposes of this 2005 journey, the fairy and the forest provide fertile prancing ground for reconciling childhood and make-believe, and the beginning of the discernment between fantasy and reality. 

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three
2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
3. A Purple-Hued Interlude
4. Style & Panache: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
5. Purple Puff Confection: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
6. A Blue-Hued Interlude
7. Fuchsia Fabulousness: Part One. Part Two and Part Three.
8. Bad Boy Bangs: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
9. Vanity Under Where: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
10. Sugar Plum Ballerina: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
11. A Pool Frolic: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
12. A Cemetery Interlude: Part One and Part Two.
13. Powder Blue Fur Doll: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
14. A Milky Interlude 
15. Rock Out, Cock Out/ Hang Out, Wang Out: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
16. Cocktail Cocktale: Part One and Part Two.
17. A Fairy’s Interlude: Part One.