The unripe watermelon in a fruit cup is one of life’s more bitter disappointments.
Author Archives: Alan Ilagan
13
June
2025
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June
2025
Itch & Scratch
Things I don’t understand: guys who get their haircuts at lunch.
How do you go back to work with all the itchiness?
(This probably should have been a #TinyThread but it’s not.)
13
June
2025
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June
2025
Moonlight & Starlight in the Trees
Greetings to Friday the 13th in the aftermath of the full Strawberry moon! The universe is trying us all, so I’m doing my best to focus on the peaceful and the beautiful, like the starlight in these dogwood trees, an actual reflection of the sun’s light, but it feels more enchanting to consider it echoes of starlight and moonlight. Making magic in one’s mind is the surest form of escape when faced with such a disturbing world.
This is the time of the year when it’s supposed to be lovely and full of promise, but it doesn’t always work out that way. Some years bring awful events that hit very close to home. Some years force you into terrible situations against your will, and you do what you can simply to survive as intact as possible. Some years simply remind us that loss is a part of life.
Who knows what this summer will bring? Nobody. All I know is that we have to get through it. And that we will. Together.
12
June
2025
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June
2025
12
June
2025
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June
2025
The Gratuitous Luke Evans Speedo Post
Nobody rides a pool float like Luke Evans, especially when he’s decked out in a Speedo and giving all the summer attitude we want.
Evans has been here half naked before, many times in fact, in posts like this one and this one, (sometimes fully naked) and always providing a visual punch to see us into the end of the week as summer approaches…
12
June
2025
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June
2025
Merry Gold Gone
These marigolds were in the ground for less than 36 hours when they were completely decimated by a greedy and destructive groundhog. There are fixes for groundhogs in these parts, and once it’s in Andy’s hands, there’s not much that can help any critter. Don’t fuck with the flowers is not a secret message in our backyard, and if my screeching and chasing you with a broom like some deranged witch ddidn’t clue you in as to your unwelcome status, there are other ways to convey it. Lasting ways. You think I’m the bad-ass to worry about, but it’s always been Andy. Good luck to you, and good day!
It’s been at least a decade – and probably longer – since I planted marigolds. Their ubiquitous use has always downgraded their status in my eyes, but lately I’ve been embracing the tried and true, and marigolds are hardly little annuals that offer an explosion of reliable color. They are also said to deter pests, which is why they are often planted in conjunction with a patch of vegetables. Apparently they are also coveted by groundhogs, which is unfortunate, for us and for the groundhog. Andy doesn’t waste time dealing with unwanted intruders, especially those who disturb the approach of summer beauty by the pool.
11
June
2025
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June
2025
David Beckham’s Pipe in White
A gratuitous post of clickbait comes in the form of David Beckham in his white Boss boxer-briefs, another moment of visual magic from his butt-baring Boss underwear campaign. See more here and here and here.
Bend it like Beckham indeed.
11
June
2025
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June
2025
Down To Zero
We have reached that part in our protagonist’s journey where he is entirely out of fucks.
Proceed at your own peril.
11
June
2025
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June
2025
Let’s Get Lucky
A musical pop memory a quarter century in the making, ‘Lucky’ by Britney Spears is the song of the day here, harkening to her early career when it was just bop after bop in an endless array of pop music fantasy. The video here gives all sorts of drama, revealing cracks in the by-then not-that-innocent facade. While I never hated on Britney, I never full-on loved her either, though I have a soft spot for this one, which came out in the summer that I met Andy. It was a grand summer – rainier than usual, and rain portends luck. So do four-leaf clover clusters, for which I didn’t have a chance to search in this little patch I happened upon the other day.
We haven’t even reached summer yet and the fatigue of this rainy season has me feeling spent. Sunlight was forecast for today, and my soul is craving it. The clover has had its fill of the wet stuff and we need to dry our frustrated tears. A world in disarray, and of course the full moon decides to appear now of all times.
A full Strawberry moon, and whatever that might mean. May God grant us mercy during this spell of lunacy. Don’t wait up all night to get lucky; the two-headed coin makes its own luck.
10
June
2025
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June
2025
10
June
2025
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June
2025
#TinyThreads: An Insignificant Series
I want to live in a world where manufacturers use stickers that don’t require Goo Gone, soaking, scraping, and a hairdryer to get them off the top of a fucking plate.
10
June
2025
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June
2025
Still Spring, Sing for Fall
It sounds like we’ll be singing it up this fall as in addition to the conclusion of ‘Wicked’ comes the revamped ‘Kiss of the Spider Woman’ starring, wait… Jennifer Lopez? I’m not yet mad about it, but I’m not overtly thrilled. With studio sparkle, Lopez can sometimes sing. The trailer doesn’t quite give me enough faith that she can pull it off, but Chita Rivera and Vanessa Williams both made indelible impressions without having powerhouse vocals, so I’m giving JLo the benefit of the doubt for now. This looks like it has promise, and I have wanted to see a thrilling version of this musical for years. Maybe it’s time, maybe this fall…
09
June
2025
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June
2025
#TinyThreads: An Insignificant Series
We must always remember that dates are nature’s candy.
09
June
2025
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June
2025
A Build-Me-Up Buttercup Recap
We have just celebrated our 30th consecutive weekend of precipitation in the Albany area, so hooray for us! Yesterday was beautiful, so we’ll take what we can get, and let’s get on with the weekly blog recap… (Forewarning: my crankiness was because of the rain. Only the rain.)
A gratuitously Speedo-clad Gus Kenworthy post.
The credit card chickens came home to roost.
The ‘Wicked: For Good’ trailer premiered and was everything we wanted it to be.
Mr. Sassy Pants looks fiercely back.
The day Aaron Samuels wore a red Speedo.
Tin for ten: another BroSox Adventure is in the works.
The Divine Diva Tour trundled along, twenty years later, and two decades of body wear takes a toll.
Chains of gray in black and white.
Extraordinary transfigurations.
A waterlogged point of exasperation.
Dazzlers of the Day included David Blue, Auli’i Cravalho, and Jonathan Groff.
08
June
2025
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June
2025
A Waterlogged Point of Exasperation
Do you remember that scene in ‘Clue’ when the group stumbles upon the fourth or fifth murder in a row, and they walk into the room, take it all in, look disgusted, and simply walk right back out?
That’s how I feel looking out the window and seeing the 30th consecutive weekend of precipitation since November.
Disgusted.
Exasperated.
Tired of God punishing us for… whatever we did in November that would merit such a … oh, never-fucking-mind.
Got it.
Well-played, Sir.
I’ll get another umbrella.
PS – Absolutely every moment in life has a perfect ‘Clue’ reaction to it. Especially the awful ones.
