This is the most I’ve ever watched of any Olympic Games, and it all comes to a close tonight. I’m not quite sure what I’ll do with my life until the Winter Games in 2018, but for now we have Rio – and what a wonderful trip it’s been. Things got off to a shiny, sculpted start thanks to the shirtless guy from Tonga.
The record-busting Michael Phelps went out with a gold-medal bang, adding to his compilation of 23 medals, but there were hungry sharks nipping at his heels, including his own country’™s brethren.
Nathan Adrian was one of the break-out stars, thanks to his naked booty and extreme tan lines.
Jimmy Feigen was part of a medal-winning relay team (before he got detained).
Adam Peaty was a British gold-medal dream.
Ryan Lochte continued to entertain and charm vandalize and lie, with his light blue hair and indomitable bulge.
Ning Zetao swam for the Chinese team, all with a winning smile.
Chad Le Clos momentarily took on the role of villain as he shadow-boxed in front of a visibly riled Michael Phelps (don’t poke the bear!) before one of their match-ups.
One more swimmer named Ryan ~ Ryan Held.
A bear was on the loose in the form of Nicolai Ceban.
A sexy pair… and a cute pair.
The US Men’s Gymnastics team faltered a bit compared to previous successful outings, but they were no less hunky for it.
Germany had the perfectly-coiffed Marcel Nguyen.
Running over the hurdles of sexiness was Devon Allen.
A last highlight of this first part: the Zac Efron doppelganger Michael Hixon, resplendent in a Speedo.
More to come…
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