This is My Interpretation

This September is said to be a banner month for us Virgos, with a couple of eclipses and favorable moons, and whether or not I believe in such astrological magic, I’ll welcome whatever positive transformation this month has in store for me. The past few months have been rough and tumble here, and for the first time in a long while I was beginning to think that maybe I was the problem – and I’m perfectly willing to acknowledge my failings and shortcomings, but this summer I’m not taking any of the blame. Let the hits keep on coming, because we all know only the truth stands in the end. Virgos always have the receipts; contrary to popular belief, we don’t always like having to search them out and prove others wrong but when one is attacked, that sort of defense is sometimes necessary. Let’s have a song to clear the air and wash away any lingering doubt that hell hath no fury like a Virgo wronged.

You talk about life, you talk about death
And everything in between
Like it’s nothing and the words are easy

You talk about me, you talk about you
And everything I do
Like it’s somethin’ that needs repeating

I don’t need an alibi
Or for you to realize
The things we left unsaid
Are only taking space up in our heads

A pre-peek of fall has been revealing itself in the wonderfully color nights and mornings we’ve had of late. It’s good for clearing the head, and the atmosphere. Things are getting clearer, and more crisp. Shades of gray and spaces of questionable shadows are fleshing themselves more fully out, with defined edges and sharp boundaries. A happier place for Virgos who cherish clarity.

Make it my fault, win the game
Point the finger, place the blame
And curse me up and down
Doesn’t matter now

‘Cause I don’t care if I ever talk to you again
This is not about emotion
I don’t need a reason not to care
What you say, or what happened in the end
This is my interpretation
And it don’t, don’t make sense

Fall is the time when I tend to clean up the messes that I let go in summer – and there are several family items that float to the top of that clean-up list, if only to let things go and truly move forward. That means a weighty therapy session this week which might result in additional therapy sessions, and that’s ok. Therapy has been one of the most helpful tools I’ve had in navigating this treacherous mid-life region. I recommend it to everyone.

The first two weeks turn into ten
I hold my breath and wonder when it’ll happen
It doesn’t really matter

If half of what you said is true
And half of what I didn’t do could be different
Would it make you better?

If we forget the things we know
Would we have somewhere to go?
The only way is down
I can see that now

‘Cause I don’t care if I ever talk to you again
This is not about emotion
I don’t need a reason not to care
What you say, or what happened in the end
This is my interpretation
And it don’t, don’t make sense

Fall will also likely be the time when things are brought into unflinching and unforgiving light – and it’s not going to be cruel or cutting, it’s not going to be hurtful or hateful – it’s going to be honest and true. Like the song says, this is not about emotion – and if there’s one thing I’ve learned being raised by two scientifically-minded medical people, it’s how to be cooly analytical when it comes to making your way through this mad world. My Virgo nature lapped that up, and for fifty years I’ve run with it.

It’s really not such a sacrifice

Perhaps those first fifty years were the practice run-through, and we are beginning all over again now – and now is when it counts. Now is when it matters. And if I don’t care…

If I ever talk to you again
This is not about emotion
I don’t need a reason not to care
What you say, or what happened in the end
This is my interpretation
And it don’t, don’t make sense

And it don’t have to make no sense to you at all
‘Cause this is my interpretation.

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A Request for My Nephew

One of the things that I’ve grown to semi-enjoy is a soccer game thanks mostly to my nephew’s participation in the game. He’s graduated to varsity this year, and the Amsterdam High School Boys Team is doing a fundraiser until September 26, 2025. If you’d like to help them out, here is the link to donate; every amount you might spare is appreciated.

We attended a scrimmage this past weekend, and on the big field it was a lot more exciting than the games we’ve been going to at Afrim’s (though that’s a lot closer than Amsterdam for us). It was a sunny late-summer day – the banks of fluffy clouds provided comfortable shade while the game was a good one ending 2-2 (I guess ties are allowed in soccer? I don’t know – after all these years I’m still learning the rules.) Once again, if you want to support the Amsterdam High School Boys Soccer team, please click here and put yourself on their scoreboard. Go Rams!

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A Mindful Start to September

It may be time to start elongating my daily meditations – a habit I’ve employed previously, especially when the day’s light grows shorter. This seems like a good starting point for September, said to be a banner month for Virgos as we have a solar eclipse on September 21 – just in time for the new fall season. Let’s take a deep breath then, and take stock of this particular present moment.

I was supposed to be in Boston with the twins this weekend, but despite checking with them and confirming multiple times, they still ended up having to cancel due to sport practices or something. It’s been the way things have gone lately – they missed the last few holiday trips to Boston, this spring’s Take Your Kids to Work Day, and I’ve lost count of how many times we’ve invited them over in the last few months with no response. I’m assuming this is the way of teenagers, and nothing to take too personally.

I light a candle from which I will burn a stick of Palo Santo, and its reflection glows in the window looking out into the front yard – a visual trick that somehow still works in the middle of the day. There is magic everywhere when you pause to observe.

Starting September in thoughtful fashion feels like the right place to begin this month of transition. There is some soul-searching to be done – and September is the ideal month to recharge and reinvigorate such spaces. A Virgo leans into fall cleaning with gusto and verve. We love ridding ourselves of excess nonsense and creating a place of peace and calm, and we aren’t afraid to move forward in that pursuit.

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The Rose at the End of August

June roses are vastly different from August roses.

In June, all is hope and tenderness and promise.

In August, all is rich and resonant and ripe.

Most people prefer the rose in June – and most of me would agree – but one small and important part finds greater beauty in the August rose. They glow differently, because they know they are the last. They are sadder, and sweeter, for it.

Many garden perennials throw out a few blooms before fall arrives in earnest, and though they are usually smaller and less robust than their early summer counterparts, their colors feel richer and more vibrant. I’ve always felt for them a little more.

The end of August is always sad.

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Candy Perfume Boy

And now, ladies and gentlemen, I will turn a blind eye or two and get on with the facade.

There is no more to be done here.

My attempts at reform were small and unimportant, and to survive sometimes one must leave the realm of reality and return to a delusional happiness. This has been my struggle and now it is over.

Take flight, my fine fairy friends, and let us again be carefree, without worry or concern, riding on the winds of fantasy and make-believe… Goodbye cruel world! Farewell wicked place!! Adieu, adieu… to you and you and you…

Young velvet porcelain boy
Devour me when you’re with me
Blue wish window seas
Speak delicious fires
I’m your candy perfume girl
You’re a candy perfume girl

Moist warm desire
Fly-to-me
I’m your candy perfume girl
Your candy perfume girl

I’m your candy perfume girl
Candy
Candy…

Rush me ghost you see
Every centre my home
Fever steam girl
Throb the oceans
Your candy perfume girl
You’re a candy perfume girl
You’re a candy perfume girl

Did I lie to you?
Candy perfume girl
Did I lie to you?
Magic poison

You’re a candy perfume boy
A candy perfume boy
You’re a candy perfume boy
You’re candy

Candy perfume girl
The sacred nerve is
Magic poison
It’s candy, it’s candy
I’m your candy perfume girl
I’m your candy perfume girl

Boy, girl, boy, girl, boy
Candy…

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

  1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three
  2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
  3. A Purple-Hued Interlude
  4. Style & Panache: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  5. Purple Puff Confection: Part OnePart Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  6. A Blue-Hued Interlude
  7. Fuchsia Fabulousness: Part One. Part Two and Part Three.
  8. Bad Boy Bangs: Part OnePart Two. and Part Three.
  9. Vanity Under Where: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  10. Sugar Plum Ballerina: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three.
  11. A Pool Frolic: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three.
  12. A Cemetery Interlude: Part One and Part Two.
  13. Powder Blue Fur Doll: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  14. A Milky Interlude 
  15. Rock Out, Cock Out/ Hang Out, Wang Out: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three.
  16. Cocktail Cocktale: Part One and Part Two.
  17. A Fairy’s Interlude: Part One and Part Two.
  18. Willy Wonkers: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  19. A Peacock In Everything But Beauty: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  20. Swan Lake Fantasia: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.
  21. Black & White in Briefs: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  22. Weave of Basket, Weave of Rope: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, and Part Five.
  23. Chains of Gray to Color: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  24. Black Jockstrap: Back Entry: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
  25. Super Fairy Interlude: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
  26. American Psychology: Part One and Part Two.
  27. Jocks & Frocks: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
  28. Wigging Out Interlude
  29. Shedding Selves & Beating Oneself Up: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.
  30. Pretty, Oh So Pretty: Part One and Part Two.
  31. Amber Vanity: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  32. Bowler Hat Masked Mayhem: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.
  33. Candy Everybody Wants: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.
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Candy Everybody Wants

Hey, hey give ’em what they want…

From the same wondrous ‘Our Time in Eden’ album that brought us the glory of ‘These Days’ comes the other hit single from that collection, ‘Candy Everybody Wants’. It forms the penultimate entry of this section of The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale, in which everything that seemed so sweet and lovely reveals a sickly, bloody underbelly. The scarlet lollipop melts into hemoglobin, the bracelets of candy bind your wrists together, and a necklace of Necco wafers works its ancient Latin language, choking you out with a death-clutch. And all the while, we eat it up. Try one, swallow some…

If lust and hate is the candy
If blood and love taste so sweet
Then we give ’em what they want
Hey hey give ’em what they want

The music bounces along happily, the bursts of horns, the jangling guitars, the occasional ‘Hey!’s of Natalie Merchant – and it sounds for a moment like everything is gonna be all right. But it isn’t, is it? It will never be right again, and that’s one of the underlying themes of melancholy that pulls this song down from its lofty pop perch.

So their eyes are growing hazy
Cos they wanna turn it on
So their minds are soft and lazy, well
Hey hey give ’em what they want

If lust and hate is the candy
If blood and love taste so sweet
Then we give ’em what they want

So their eyes are growing hazy
Cos they wanna turn it on
So their minds are soft and lazy, well
Who do you wanna blame?

If lust and hate is the candy
If blood and love taste so sweet
Then we give ’em what they want

So their eyes are growing hazy
Cos they wanna turn it on
So their minds are soft and lazy, well

Who do you wanna blame?

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

  1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three
  2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
  3. A Purple-Hued Interlude
  4. Style & Panache: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  5. Purple Puff Confection: Part OnePart Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  6. A Blue-Hued Interlude
  7. Fuchsia Fabulousness: Part One. Part Two and Part Three.
  8. Bad Boy Bangs: Part OnePart Two. and Part Three.
  9. Vanity Under Where: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  10. Sugar Plum Ballerina: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three.
  11. A Pool Frolic: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three.
  12. A Cemetery Interlude: Part One and Part Two.
  13. Powder Blue Fur Doll: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  14. A Milky Interlude 
  15. Rock Out, Cock Out/ Hang Out, Wang Out: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three.
  16. Cocktail Cocktale: Part One and Part Two.
  17. A Fairy’s Interlude: Part One and Part Two.
  18. Willy Wonkers: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  19. A Peacock In Everything But Beauty: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  20. Swan Lake Fantasia: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.
  21. Black & White in Briefs: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  22. Weave of Basket, Weave of Rope: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, and Part Five.
  23. Chains of Gray to Color: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  24. Black Jockstrap: Back Entry: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
  25. Super Fairy Interlude: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
  26. American Psychology: Part One and Part Two.
  27. Jocks & Frocks: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
  28. Wigging Out Interlude
  29. Shedding Selves & Beating Oneself Up: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.
  30. Pretty, Oh So Pretty: Part One and Part Two.
  31. Amber Vanity: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  32. Bowler Hat Masked Mayhem: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.
  33. Candy Everybody Wants: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
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She’s Made of Candy

I was there to witness, Candice’s inner business

She wants the boys to notice her rainbows and her ponies

She was educated, but could not count to ten

Now she got lots of different horses by lots of different men…

Ahh Candice… haven’t we all been you before? Most of us get it out of the way in our youth when we stand a chance of getting away with it. During the time of The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale, I was well beyond my Candice era, but the scars were still with me, and the damages we inflict upon ourselves will never be topped by anyone else.

And I say, “Liberate your sons and daughters”

The bush is high, but in the hole there’s water

You can get some, when they give it

Nothing sacred, but it’s a living

Hey, oh, here she goes, either a little too high or a little too low

Got no self-esteem and vertigo, ’cause she thinks she’s made of candy

Hey, oh, here she goes, either a little too loud or a little too close

Has got a hurricane at the back of her throat, she thinks she’s made of candy

Ring a ring of roses, whoever gets the closest

She comes and she goes as the War of the Roses

Mother was a victim, father beat the system

By moving bricks to Brixton and learning, how to fix them

Liberate your sons and daughters

The bush is high, but in the hole there’s water

“As you will” shall be the whole of the law

And if it don’t feel good what are you doing it for?

Now tell me…

Hey, oh, here she goes, either a little too high or a little too low

Got no self-esteem and vertigo, ’cause she thinks she’s made of candy

Hey, oh, here she goes, either a little too loud or a little too close

Got a hurricane at the back of her throat and she thinks she’s made of candy

Liberate your sons and daughters

The bush is high, but in the hole there’s water

“As you will” shall be the whole of the law

And if it don’t feel good what are you doing it for?

What are you doing it for? What are you doing it for?

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

  1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three
  2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
  3. A Purple-Hued Interlude
  4. Style & Panache: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  5. Purple Puff Confection: Part OnePart Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  6. A Blue-Hued Interlude
  7. Fuchsia Fabulousness: Part One. Part Two and Part Three.
  8. Bad Boy Bangs: Part OnePart Two. and Part Three.
  9. Vanity Under Where: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  10. Sugar Plum Ballerina: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three.
  11. A Pool Frolic: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three.
  12. A Cemetery Interlude: Part One and Part Two.
  13. Powder Blue Fur Doll: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  14. A Milky Interlude 
  15. Rock Out, Cock Out/ Hang Out, Wang Out: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three.
  16. Cocktail Cocktale: Part One and Part Two.
  17. A Fairy’s Interlude: Part One and Part Two.
  18. Willy Wonkers: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  19. A Peacock In Everything But Beauty: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  20. Swan Lake Fantasia: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.
  21. Black & White in Briefs: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  22. Weave of Basket, Weave of Rope: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, and Part Five.
  23. Chains of Gray to Color: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  24. Black Jockstrap: Back Entry: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
  25. Super Fairy Interlude: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
  26. American Psychology: Part One and Part Two.
  27. Jocks & Frocks: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
  28. Wigging Out Interlude
  29. Shedding Selves & Beating Oneself Up: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.
  30. Pretty, Oh So Pretty: Part One and Part Two.
  31. Amber Vanity: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  32. Bowler Hat Masked Mayhem: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.
  33. Candy Everybody Wants: Part One and Part Two.
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Ropes of Sugar, Bracelets of Candy

There are many types of ropes in this wayward world.

Ropes of pearls.

Ropes of words.

Ropes of ends.

Ropes of ambivalence

Tripping up on a rope is better than choking on one.

Tightrope walking is not better than being tied up.

The double entendres mask the sinister turns ahead.

Sex and danger, lust and mistrust, sweetness and poison.

The rope unwinds, the rope hardens, the rope enters, and the rope drops the curtain.

I said sucking too hard on your lollipop
Hey, love’s gonna get you down
Girl, I said sucking too hard on your lollipop
Hey, love’s gonna get you down

Sucking too hard on your lollipop
Oh, love’s gonna get you down
Sucking too hard on your lollipop
Oh, love’s gonna get you down

Aural candy sings sweetness in the ears, swallow it down for the sweetness to swim into the stomach, and finish it off with a lick of a lollipop…

I went walking with my momma one day
When she warned me what people say
“Live your life until love is found
‘Cause love’s gonna get you down”

Take a look at the girl next door
She’s a player and a downright bore
Jesus loves her, she wants more
Oh, bad girls get you down

Sucking too hard on your lollipop
Oh, love’s gonna get you down
Sucking too hard on your lollipop
Oh, love’s gonna get you down

When it sounds so good and tastes so sweet, there’s nowhere to go but down.

Mama told me what I should know
“Too much candy gonna rot your soul
If she loves you let her go
‘Cause love only gets you down”

Take a look at a boy like me
Never stood on my own two feet
Now I’m blue as I can be
Oh, love come get me down

Sing it!

Sucking too hard on your lollipop
Oh, love’s gonna get you down
Sucking too hard on your lollipop
Oh, love’s gonna get you down

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

  1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three
  2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
  3. A Purple-Hued Interlude
  4. Style & Panache: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  5. Purple Puff Confection: Part OnePart Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  6. A Blue-Hued Interlude
  7. Fuchsia Fabulousness: Part One. Part Two and Part Three.
  8. Bad Boy Bangs: Part OnePart Two. and Part Three.
  9. Vanity Under Where: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  10. Sugar Plum Ballerina: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three.
  11. A Pool Frolic: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three.
  12. A Cemetery Interlude: Part One and Part Two.
  13. Powder Blue Fur Doll: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  14. A Milky Interlude 
  15. Rock Out, Cock Out/ Hang Out, Wang Out: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three.
  16. Cocktail Cocktale: Part One and Part Two.
  17. A Fairy’s Interlude: Part One and Part Two.
  18. Willy Wonkers: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  19. A Peacock In Everything But Beauty: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  20. Swan Lake Fantasia: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.
  21. Black & White in Briefs: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  22. Weave of Basket, Weave of Rope: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, and Part Five.
  23. Chains of Gray to Color: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  24. Black Jockstrap: Back Entry: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
  25. Super Fairy Interlude: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
  26. American Psychology: Part One and Part Two.
  27. Jocks & Frocks: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
  28. Wigging Out Interlude
  29. Shedding Selves & Beating Oneself Up: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.
  30. Pretty, Oh So Pretty: Part One and Part Two.
  31. Amber Vanity: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  32. Bowler Hat Masked Mayhem: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.
  33. Candy Everybody Wants: Part One.
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Who Wants Candy?

A deceptively sweet turn in The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale arrives in this delicious post, in which I implore you to try some… eat one… you know you want to lick it…

I know a guy who’s tough but sweet
He’s so fine, he can’t be beat
He’s got everything that I desire
Sets the summer sun on fire
I want candy… I want candy

Our tour book is about to take its irrevocable plummet, but the first part of the slide down is so sweet and sugary, you let it all happen because it tastes so good, even when you know it’s bad for you…

Go to see him when the sun goes down
Ain’t no finer boy in town
You’re my guy, you’re what the doctor ordered
So sweet, you make my mouth water
I want candy… I want candy… Yeah!

Candy on the beach, there’s nothing better
But I like candy when it’s wrapped in a sweater
Some day soon, I’ll make you mine
Then I’ll have candy all the time
I want candy
I want candy
I want candy…

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

  1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three
  2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
  3. A Purple-Hued Interlude
  4. Style & Panache: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  5. Purple Puff Confection: Part OnePart Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  6. A Blue-Hued Interlude
  7. Fuchsia Fabulousness: Part One. Part Two and Part Three.
  8. Bad Boy Bangs: Part OnePart Two. and Part Three.
  9. Vanity Under Where: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  10. Sugar Plum Ballerina: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three.
  11. A Pool Frolic: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three.
  12. A Cemetery Interlude: Part One and Part Two.
  13. Powder Blue Fur Doll: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  14. A Milky Interlude 
  15. Rock Out, Cock Out/ Hang Out, Wang Out: Part OnePart Two, and Part Three.
  16. Cocktail Cocktale: Part One and Part Two.
  17. A Fairy’s Interlude: Part One and Part Two.
  18. Willy Wonkers: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  19. A Peacock In Everything But Beauty: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
  20. Swan Lake Fantasia: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.
  21. Black & White in Briefs: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
  22. Weave of Basket, Weave of Rope: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, and Part Five.
  23. Chains of Gray to Color: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  24. Black Jockstrap: Back Entry: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
  25. Super Fairy Interlude: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
  26. American Psychology: Part One and Part Two.
  27. Jocks & Frocks: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
  28. Wigging Out Interlude
  29. Shedding Selves & Beating Oneself Up: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.
  30. Pretty, Oh So Pretty: Part One and Part Two.
  31. Amber Vanity: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
  32. Bowler Hat Masked Mayhem: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.

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If I Could Turn Back Time

Way back in the late summer of 1989, when I had but just turned fourteen years old, Cher was riding high on one of her many comebacks – ‘If I Could Turn Back Time’ – and even at my young age, my old soul felt resonance with this track. At my more advanced age, it rings differently, and no less powerfully.

Back in 1989, it was more of a wish to go back in time just a couple of months, to the start of the summer – the summer before high school, when everything would change.

If I could turn back time
If I could find a way
I’d take back those words that have hurt you
And you’d stay

I don’t know why I did the things I did
I don’t know why I said the things I said
Pride’s like a knife, it can cut deep inside
Words are like weapons, they wound sometimes

I didn’t really mean to hurt you
I didn’t wanna see you go
I know I made you cry, but baby

If I could turn back time
If I could find a way
I’d take back those words that have hurt you and you’d stay
If I could reach the stars, I’d give ’em all to you
Then you’d love me, love me like you used to do
(If I could turn back time)

Cher’s video for this single caused an uproar worthy of Madonna’s typical fare at the time. (See ‘Like A Prayer‘ or ‘Express Yourself’.) I happened to love it – the outfit, the big-ass boat canons, and the sailors – all those excited sailors… I’d lose my gay virginity to a sailor many years later on the Mississippi River, but that’s a story that doesn’t need to be retold right now.

My world was shattered, I was torn apart
Like someone took a knife and drove it deep in my heart
When you walked out that door, I swore that I didn’t care
But I lost every thing, darlin’, then and there

Too strong to tell you I was sorry
Too proud to tell you I was wrong
I know that I was blind, and darlin’

If I could turn back time
If I could find a way
I’d take back those words that have hurt you and you’d stay
If I could reach the stars, I’d give ’em all to you
Then you’d love me, love me like you used to do, ohh

If I could turn back time (if I could turn back time)
If I could turn back time (if I could turn back time)
If I could turn back time, oh, baby

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Downtown Albany to the Core

One of the best parts of an office day is the opportunity to walk around downtown Albany and see what’s happening. While COVID definitely did a number on a number of establishments, there are signs of life returning to this once-bustling place. dp: An American Brasserie remains a favorite dinner spot for date nights with Andy, while my favorite lunch places are the following:

Banh Mi 47

Viva Empanadas

Miranda’s

Common Roots Brewing Company

Pearl Street Diner

The Enchanted Florist provides gorgeous cut flowers, while River Garden Studio has a wide selection of houseplants (the latter will be open again starting September 10). For unique and gorgeous gifts with an Albany emphasis, there is the Fort Orange General Store.

My one main complaint is that the area still needs a market/drug store – and some of us state workers are so desperate we don’t care if it’s a Rite Aid, Walgreen’s or CVS – anything to get us through the day!

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A Favorite Gift at 50

There have been a number of notable gifts that I’ve received/begged-for over the years: a Laser Disc player back in the 90’s (which was the only format in which Madonna officially released her Blonde Ambition tour, and the sole reason for me wanting it) that my parents found at Radio Shack one Christmas, a Louis Vuitton Keepall 50 that Andy got me for another Christmas many years later, a small painting that Suzie did of me decades ago that was slightly reminiscent of Edvard Munch’s ‘The Scream, and this delicious bottle of Diana Vreeland perfume that Sherri and Skip found on one of my wish lists.

For my 50th birthday, Sherri and Skip gave me what may very well be the best gift of the year, and I don’t mean the pair of precious Hermes fragrances that was part of their offering – it was a box of 50 little colorful notecards in individual envelopes, each with a memory or musing or moment written on it that went back over the past twenty years of shared friendship and office adventures. To say that I was touched, this year and this birthday especially, is an understatement, and I can’t thank them enough for such a meaningful and poignant gift.

While I was tempted to tear instantly into all of them – and started off doing just that with the “Imagine Dragons” card (a very private joke) – I slowed down to savor each one, going over the memory or moment that was mentioned, and smiling or laughing at the thought of it. That sort of warmth and love is not something I wanted to end so quickly, so I paused about halfway through, choosing to open a few each day for as long as they last.

Even better is the idea that once I make it through them this initial time, I can put them away for a darker day, bring out this lovely box, and revisit such happiness again. Sherri and Skip have often provided a reassurance of my dwindling belief in the goodness of people – and it’s still there, especially in the people I am lucky enough to call friends.

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Chris Evans in a Jockstrap

For those who missed my social media posts about this, here is Chris Evans in a jockstrap, from his latest movie ‘Honey Don’t!’ in theaters now. It’s been far too long since Evans has graced us with such a glimpse, and this one recalls his breakthrough near-nude moment in ‘Not Another Teen Movie’ which found whipped cream and a banana preserving his modesty instead of a jockstrap. Which is better? That’s what online polls were made for, so perhaps I’ll have to put one up soon.

Evans had been pulling back from revealing such shots, so it’s nice to see him return to form in all the right ways, especially for the gay-gazing blogs that have nothing better to discuss. Here are a few previous blog posts dedicated to Mr. Evans and his much-celebrated moments of disrobing:

A basic and shamelessly shirtless Chris Evans shot.

Chris Evans as Dazzler of the Day.

A few GIFs of Chris Evans in his underwear.

This post opens with Evans flagrantly pulling down his pants.

Chris Evans flaunting America’s ass.

A few sultry GQ shots.

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A Most Humble Flower

Behold the humble and somehow magnificent common daylily. Seen proliferating along roadside banks, the daylily is one of those overlooked gems often maligned for their steadfastness and reliability, yet entirely capable of putting on an exotic show. If these were as rare or delicate as a bird of paradise, especially in these wintry parts, they would be celebrated just as grandly. Alas, we do not reward or appreciate the steadfast and reliable, only the problematic and difficult. It goes against reason or what’s righteous, and illustrates the impossible fickleness of a world designed to cause as much hurt as possible.

Refusing to extoll or praise such noble traits is sadly the way of this world right now, but as long as I have voice and space in which to use it, I’ll keep on plugging the magnificence in something as common as the daylily, even if the blooms lasts but a day. Beauty is as eternal as it is ephemeral, and nothing proves that more than a flower that lives its entire life in a single day. We should all endeavor to live like that.

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