Another wonderful person of many hats, Matt Ortile is editor, writer, host, and educator. He gained early experience as the global publishing lead for BuzzFeed International and was the founding editor of BuzzFeed Philippines. His writing has been published by Vogue, Esquire, Afar, TripAdvisor, BuzzFeed News, Into, Self, and Out, and he has written a book of essays entitled ‘The Groom Will Keep His Name’. A more comprehensive list of accomplishments may be found at his website here, and he can add Dazzler of the Day to the ever-growing list of honors.
Whenever I find myself in doubt, I remember these wise words from a drag queen, maybe the greatest drag queen of all: “Don’t write a check with your mouth that your ass can’t cash!”
What if all the anti-ICE citizens started dressing up in cosplay nonsense like the actual ICE agents terrorizing our country – the masks and flags and sunglasses and shit? It seems like people who wear that wardrobe can get away with murder – quite literally – so imagine what people on the right side of history might accomplish in similar garb.
We may very well be far past the point of vigilante justice, and I am certainly not proposing any dangerous ideas that might turn their strategies against them, especially in the minds of anyone feeling frustrated and angry at a world with seemingly no accountability for evil actions. How awful that would be! To incite something so violent that it might one day merit a Presidential pardon is practically unthinkable, right?
There is sometimes no greater threat to oppression than an idea, and as long as the mind is free, the ideas will follow.
Sometimes the strongest and most powerful voices come from the prettiest packages – and when that happens it often results in the crowning of a new Dazzler of the Day. Introducing the amazing Thoren ‘Thor’ Bradley, who has gained a prominent and substantial social media thanks to his combination of fitness, wood-chopping, intelligent discourse, and inclusive championing for all people. A recent post of his particularly moved me, especially in light of the boorish and barbaric behavior of the US Men’s Hockey Team. When white cis men who look like Bradley speak truth about and against centuries of patriarchy, it’s a huge help. Glad there are noble humans still out there to restore a little faith in humanity. For that reason alone, he earns his first Dazzler of the Day.
“My heart goes out to all the daughters, wives and girlfriends in the United State…who have faced the harsh realization that a man in their life is so spineless in the face of clear injustice… that they can’t even form a fucking opinion in private. I’m not even talking about speaking out in public. I know he’ll never have your respect again and I know that must be a lonely feeling. Rest assured you are not wrong. That isn’t normal.” – Thoren Bradley
Mercury returns to wretched retrograde motion today, where it will wreak its undeniable havoc all the way through March 20 – the ultimate uphill battle until we reach the spring (as if the final stretch of winter wasn’t and enough on its own).
There’s also a treacherous full moon appearing March 3 – one said to be especially challenging for Virgos, so if I seem a bit more psychotic than usual, the best thing to do will be to not fuck with me. Forewarned is fair-warned, and I’m not in the mood – because a double-whammy of full moon madness and Mercury in retrograde can make for a diabolical, combustible bit of destruction – a burn-it-all-down possibility on a good week, an absolute monstrosity at such an astrological crux. The intersection of Mercurial influence and lunacy was never going to be pretty. In the words of ‘Mommie Dearest’, “Don’t fuck with me fellas!”
Godspeed, good luck, and don’t forget me when I’m gone.
Somewhere on this website, if you dig down deeply enough, you may find the rest of this photoshoot which reveals more of what certain eyes want to feast upon. For now, it’s a hazy reminder of past and present colliding, and instead of clarity or certainty, there is only more obscurity – a telltale sign of this Winter Obscura – ever-elusive, ever-cloudy, ever-out-of-focus. For all these Evers, never resolution, never completion, never conclusion. Only more Evers… ever after, ever unknown, ever unending…
Chaos contained – a theme that once saved my ass in a literature class where we had to write a paper on Kant, and I could only understand the idea of a canvass containing both the limits of its space, and the limitless idea of anything being painted on it. Two opposing ideas existing at once, forcing the brain to reconcile itself to paradox. Accepting the impossible – at least the impossibility to understand – is a major component of finding peace in one’s head.
Winter was when this picture was taken. Winter – when the world tries to tell us to slow down, to stop, to listen, but we don’t want to listen. We don’t want to stop. We don’t even want to slow down.
Humans weren’t designed to have this level of constant stress and duress thrust upon us.
Take this moment as a moment to pause.
To rest.
To relax.
To breathe.
Sounds simplistic and silly sometimes, but just stay with me.
Take a deep breath in…
slowly let that breath out….
Take another slowly in…
let that one slowly out…
Feel the pause.
Feel the slightest reset.
Feel the little difference that makes all the difference.
Pour yourself a cup of tea or coffee or water or juice and hold the cup in your hand. Let yourself simply be with that single motion. Let yourself simply exist. It sounds so easy, but when done with genuine mindfulness it is powerful and profound and life-changing. It will allow you to focus on the breathing, shutting out the noise, the anger, the annoyance. It will push out the worries and strains and tensions. In their place there will be stillness and quiet and calm.
Thank you for sharing this cup of tea with me.
Thank you for visiting this space.
Thank you for sharing our time on this beautiful earth together.
I love a hairpin turn in one’s career trajectory, and no one has zigged harder of late than Davey Wavey, who went from his popular YouTube and social media impresario role (and some incendiary adult entertainment work) to owning the Frog Meadow Bed & Breakfast in Vermont. Innkeepers Jeremiah and Zac will run the property, but Davey’s hands are already all over the place. The relaxed drama-free atmosphere that has made Frog Meadow such a beloved destination for many years doesn’t look to end, and Davey promises the heart and soul of what is considered sacred space to many will remain untouched and unchanged.
Maintaining and building on the vision of original founders Scott Heller and Dave King, Davey intends to honor the legacy of what they created: a place for the soul to be nurtured. In looking ahead, he also plans on working on the singular item of most interest and obsession for me: a signature fragrance. To that end, and the future of Frog Meadow, Davey earns this Dazzler of the Day for the very first time.
He supported and rooted for Trump every time he ran, and now his life-partner is slated for deportation. Meet Wayne DeMario, a Miami guitar store owner who proudly voted for Trump, only to see Trump enact the acts he said would enact, including the deportation of immigrants who committed crimes. Enter Wayne’s life-partner Yamile Alcantu, who was here from Cuba via a Visa Lottery (slightly different from how Melania Trump immigrated to America) but who had a “minor run-in” with the law. [Whoopsie daisy!] End result: Alcantu was taken by ICE to a detention center and is currently scheduled to be deported.
Wayne claims he didn’t vote for any of this, he only voted Republican because he was a Republican. (Sure Jan. ) To Wayne and his life-partner, I offer my most heartfelt shrug. Think of this as a kind of ‘both sides’ sort of compassion, offering the same sympathy that the MAGA crowd offers innocent people being deported. If you have a problem with that schadenfreude, talk to the White House and the guy who thinks he’s President.
While the US Men’s Hockey Team squandered their impressive win with embarrassing and shameful locker room behavior (that included laughing at the US Women’s Team while on the phone with felon Trump) the US Women’s Hockey Team proved that they had more grit, sense, and grace in their gold medal win, earning them this Dazzler of the Day crowning. It also merits much fanfare that the US Women’s Hockey Team has won way more medals than the US Men’s Hockey team, and still goes egregiously unheralded in comparison. Here’s to the heroic Women’s Hockey Team, putting the men to shame year after year after year after year…
This year’s Winter Olympics were a badly-needed breath of fresh, inspirational air – a reminder of the best in humanity when basic human decency on a world scale seems precariously in danger of extinction. I’m taking that, along with a visit from friends this past weekend, as a reprieve from the terrible state of the world. On with the weekly recap, Monday-quarterback-style.
Olympic figure skating is like my Super Bowl – perhaps even more-so than the Oscars this year. That said, these Winter Olympics started out rather casually and without the usual pomp and circumstance hat led into previously-hyped games. yet this one turned into one of the most emotionally-tumultuous Olympics, thanks largely in part to all the figure skating drama.
The figure skating dance competition was controversial enough, with the backstory of Guillaume Cizeron (physically naked backstory below for those kind of fans – just keep scrolling down) and his new partner Laurence Fournier Beaudry taking center stage – and that was before the judges robbed Madison Chock and Evan Bates (flawless free skate) of the gold and giving it to Cizeron and Beaudry (flawed free skate).
The media was as awful as the media has become – hyping American athletes to the point where the pressure becomes too much – but the athletes themselves seemed to support each other in the face of all the madness, and the grace and good will of medalists and non-medalists was an affirmation of basic human decency. It was a breath of fresh air in this dark winter.
I’m not sure if it’s the bright lights of the skating arena, or the relatively benign nature of this good-spirited worldly competition compared to the more sinister visions that typically comprise night-time television, but the Winter Olympics always feel like a festive comfort when they roll around every four years.
It’s a time when an athlete’s performance is hopefully heightened, and everything just seems to mean a little more, such as the anticipatory electricity of a dinner party or a visit from distant friends or family. The older I get, the more I find myself seeking out such comfort. Here’s to the next Winter Olympic Games, scheduled for the summer of 2030… (but look for the 2028 Summer Olympics first) and here are this year’s Olympic posts for those who are already feeling nostalgic:
