How Long Will It Take To Get Used To Me?

Operator the lines are down, are down
And I’m traitor, a traitor to a beautiful cause
God made me to her own design
Bad planning, too many flaws
How long will it take to get used to me?
How long will it take to get used to me?
Don’t wait that long, won’t wait that long
Don’t wait that long, don’t wait that long…

The end of my first year at Brandeis. Back in Amsterdam for the summer. The girl I was dating thought I was a better man than I would ever be. I knew it. She would come to know it, years later, but I couldn’t show her that then. I tried. I think I tried. Maybe we were just pretending though, both of us.

In the days leading up to that summer, in the messy fumblings of backseats, in grass cool and wet with dew, we thought we could find a way into each other, into the hearts that would carry us far into the future, together. We would only have that one summer. The spring was already going. We held onto it as we held onto each other, hoping it would last, even though we somehow knew it couldn’t. The magic of a spring night is fleeting at best, never to be captured for very long.

Oh yes I love you, but today I could hate you, I could hurt you
Cause were joined at the heart
Beats faster, hits harder than a boxer whenever we are apart
Body language is an S.O.S. I don’t understand how our fight starts,
Not enough to believe in love, I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know where we’ve gone wrong

 

How long will it take to get used to me?
How long will it take to get used to me?
Don’t wait that long, won’t wait that long
No we won’t wait that long, don’t wait that long…

In the very earliest hours of dawn, I’d drop her off at her house. There was already light in the sky. A foggy haze, damp clover, the startled eyes of a deer, and me pulled off on the side of the back road, sitting behind the steering wheel listening to this song and wanting to cry for everything we did not know. The beauty of the morning made me ache. Have you ever been so happy, so bursting with joy, that it veers wildly off into sadness, skidding recklessly into a messy patch of tears, your body convulsing with passion and pain it hadn’t known needed emptying?

But the sun was coming up, the fog was burning off, the birds were starting to sing. The world was awakening like it always did, and one young man running off helplessly into a field wouldn’t ruffle feathers that simply flew higher. I pull the car back onto the road. The corn is just beginning its fountain-like ascent. Rows and rows of it, neatly parallel on mounds of dirt, run beside the car, waving their green strands in my wake. I am driving directly into the sun ~ into the summer ~ and not bothering to slow down.

Operator, the lines are down,
And I’m a traitor to a beautiful cause.
God made me to her own design
Bad planning, too many flaws
I’ve got too many flaws
Too many flaws…
 
Don’t wait that long, won’t wait that long,
No we won’t wait that long, don’t wait that long…
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AI on Instagram

After months (years?) of hemming and hawing, hearing persuasive arguments made by friends mostly for it, and a final inspirational shove by Madonna, I’ve succumbed to joining Instagram (because what I really need is another social media time-consumer). Luckily, while my time online may seem voluminous, it is deceptively so. I make a decent number of FaceBook posts and Tweets (and now, perhaps, Instagram shots), but they literally take a few seconds, then I’m off. An hour later I’ll check and do the same, and then I’m off again. Those who get distracted by games and a zillion other apps may find their time eaten up in such a manner, but I’ve been lucky enough to stay relatively focused and break away from the internet whenever necessary. Like when there are gardening chores to be done ~ an unruly viburnum to be pruned, a Japanese umbrella pine to be transplanted, and potted annuals to be fed. To that end, I’m heading into the yard. Pics on Instagram to follow…

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Another Monday Morning Recap

It was a week largely dominated by reminiscing over Ogunquit – here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here.

There was a yellow raincoat.

There was music – thanks to Tori Amos and the Muppets.

And there were hunks, notably a Speedo-clad gay-playing Matt Damon, a not-from-Silver-Spoons Ricky Schroeder, and perennial favorite Tom Daley. (Oh, and I showed off my ass too, just to be fair.)

As we ease into the summer season – and the 90 degree weather – there’s not much to be done but swimming and pruning and manscaping. Follow Tom Daley’s lead.

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Tom Daley’s Almost-Naked Ass

Because when your Speedo’s slung so low, and your butt sticks out so perkily, there’s only so much you can hide from the world. I doubt anyone is complaining either, so here is Tom Daley in all his almost-altogether glory. Given the average swimmer/diver build, I’m surprised we haven’t started taking chlorine pills. Though this isn’t a Summer Olympics year, they should still be practicing – thank God.

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Farewell, For Now, To Ogunquit

Our time in Ogunquit had come to an end, and like a curtain being closed on the first act of a musical, it drew its sun-flecked spring foliage around its enchantments and disappeared into our rear-view mirrors. But since it was just the first act, there are two more to come – what with an extra summer trip for our friends’ wedding, and the closing act in fall. So while we bid adieu to Maine, it’s only a temporary good-bye.

That makes leaving only slightly easier to bare, especially as the weather made a turn for the better just as our time was up.

At least we had lilacs.

Loads of lilacs, spilling forth from branches that seemed to descend from the sky, perfuming our walks and teasing our noses with their sweet aroma.

The scent of paradise has passed, another spring draws to its close. Summer will soon ensue.

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A Friend on the Way

This furry creature was found as I made my way to a secret garden path. Based on its small size, it looked like a young squirrel, not yet skittish around humans, as it posed happily and patiently for these photos. I walked along further, and found this feather – another sign that I was on the right road. The universe has always erected such sign-posts; they’re there if you pause and observe what’s around you. It’s so easily, and quickly, lost in the daily machinations of living, the distractions of everything that doesn’t really matter, and I’m the first one to follow the flash of a falling feather. In cases like this, though, that’s exactly what I should have done.

 

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The Sun Rises in Ogunquit

A week ago we were still in Ogunquit, and the sun had finally come out. I hastened to the Marginal Way – after three days of rain, you take the first bit of sun and run with it, in case it might not show itself again. When that initial glimpse of blue sky appeared, it was a revelation. It turns out I needn’t have worried or rushed, as the sun deigned to linger for the rest of our time in that fair seaside town. These photos were taken later in the day, when the light was slanting down from the West – a few moments shy of the golden hour.

 

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Flowers Following the Rain

Here are some of the rewards from putting up with all of last weekend’s rain. If you love flowers as much as I do, it was well worth it. These beauties were blooming in Ogunquit on our last visit, beckoning the summer while hanging onto the spring. I especially like the unique variety of Muscari featured here – a frilly version of the more traditional grape hyacinth. Sometimes the hybridizers manage to do something both spectacular and delicate.

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Mellow Yellow

It’s not usually my style to favor function over form. Quite the opposite. (Platform shoes, corsets and capes aren’t exactly geared toward survival.) But once in a while, like on a rainy day in Maine, one must give up the fashion ghost, and don a bright yellow parka to make it through the wilderness. (Though if you ask me, I still think this rain slicker has a certain style to it. I got it from Sault last year, on an overcast day’s whim.)

 

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A Secret Garden Path

Off the beaten path, with only a small sign to notify passers-by, the Ogunquit Heritage Museum is one of the better-kept secrets of this town. We happened upon it last year, taking a circuitous route home one day, and it beckoned to us through a line of oaks and maples. Hidden away, it doesn’t shout, or even announce, its presence so much as it waits in secret quiet. Though the hours it is open are scant (and I’ve never managed to find myself there when the museum itself was welcoming visitors), it’s the garden path that lies before it that is the main draw for me.

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

 ~ Robert Frost

In a town crowded with the first flush of tourists, this is one spot where it is common to find sweet delicious solitude at any given time. It is also brimming with seemingly-forgotten woodland plants, rare finds like white bleeding hearts and great swaths of Trillium just past their peak. An unidentifiable yellow plant shakes its wet blooms free from the rain, its canopy of leaves protecting its pendulous hairy seed pods.

The path leads in a rough circle from the small red museum building out through the wooded area, then back to the small rise of steps leading into the building, framed by lilacs in full, fragrant bloom. On this visit, I am alone. Andy is resting back in the guesthouse.

Sitting on a bench beside the stand of faded Trillium, I am taken back to a snippet of memory I’m not even sure is mine. It is a glimpse of the spring forest in Vermont, near a covered wooden bridge. A red Wake Robin nods its crimson head in the breeze, a few feet away from the road and buffered by the trees. Then it is gone. The flower. The memory. The sunlight.

I never quite manage to share the sublime with anyone.

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Bare-assed in the Bedroom

It’s been a while since I’ve dropped trou here (I challenge you to scroll back to find it – it will take a while), so here’s something to appease the two people who have been asking. Say what you will, gratuitous male nudity makes this site go around.

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Dressed By Raindrops

The best part of a rain spell is when it’s over. The sudden ceasing of the falling from the sky, the gradual straightening of plant stems, the re-opening of flower buds – it’s like morning all over again whenever it happens. The rain also dresses things up – cleaning off pollen and dirt and leaving behind transient diamonds of water on the plainest of leaves.

It affords more colorful garb for those of us trying to stay dry too. Every man should own one raincoat, whether it’s Burberry or bright yellow, and the latter is sometimes more fun. (Especially when paired with pink pants.)

In the end, though, nothing beats the wardrobe in which Mother Nature adorns herself. I could never compete.

 

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To The Lighthouse

Is it meta to be reading ‘To the Lighthouse’ by Virginia Woolf while en route to see a lighthouse on the coast of Maine? I don’t know – mainly because I don’t really know what ‘meta’ means. Whether it is or not, that was the glorious predicament in which I found myself three days into our Ogunquit vacation. The Nubble Lighthouse is an oft-photographed and much-visited tourist attraction just a short drive down the coast from Ogunquit. It’s on an island just off-shore, and cannot be reached by bridge.

On this day, when conditions forbid a walk on the beach or the Marginal Way, we take the scenic Shore Road route to the lighthouse. Upon arrival, the winds whip wickedly upon the shore, and the waves are crashing violently against the rocks. The rain finds ways of pelting both from above, and from the sides – a vertical and horizontal attack that manages to invade the most tightly-buttoned hood. Yet the scene is, despite all discomfort, breathtakingly beautiful – rife with the kind of beauty that doesn’t translate to photos. It’s a gray sort of gorgeousness, lost among the missing vibrancy of what’s supposed to be a bright blue sky, studded with white puffy clouds and a clear sun.

It’s the kind of beauty that resonates more deeply than the flashy pomp and circumstance that often populates these posts. It’s the antithesis of what almost everyone thinks of me, and as such it is the sort of beauty that’s always touched me the most ~ the sort that lasts.

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Good Eats in Ogunquit

It is, perhaps, the only place on earth where I don’t mind if it rains. Well, maybe I mind it a little, but for the most part it is enough just being here, because Maine is more than just a place, more than just its weather ~ Maine is a mind-set. And for me it’s always been one of ease. For the first few years we visited for Memorial Day weekend, it rained consistently, without fail. Back then I thought that’s just how it was. That’s one of the reasons we never used to make it to the beach. Some years we never even made it to the Marginal Way.

Luckily, there are compensations to be found, especially in the food. No amount of rain can keep me from my appointed task of eating, and this year proved no exception. Let’s begin at the end, with this final bit of lobster in a magnificent (and pricey) BLT from Stonewall Kitchen. We always stop here on our way out (because it’s always sunny the day we depart). They have a lovely little garden that boasts some amazing flowers (this time a wisteria dropped its fragrant racemes through the slats of an arbor) but we’d never eaten there until now. The wait, and the price tag, were worth it. I love a BLT, but a BLT with lobster and fresh herbs, well, that’s practically obscene. It was a very happy ending to our weekend.

But back to the beginning, and this breakfast of champions at Amore Breakfast. Too much of a good thing just means more to share, so Andy and I went halfsies on the Black or Blue specialty (opting for the ‘Blue’ variation that uses fresh Maine blueberries to complement the cream cheese French toast points). Coupled with Maine maple syrup and a necessary dollop of whipped cream, it’s a treat we cannot refuse.

For breakfast, however, I need something savory too, and Amore provided that in the lobster omelette special seen below. With asparagus, tomatoes and Asiago cheese, it was the perfect heart of the meal, and as the showers continued outside, the stomach found contentment within.

I didn’t get any decent shots of the plank roasted salmon I had at MC Perkins Cove, but trust me, it was good, as evidenced by the wine-induced smile on my face.

One of our favorite restaurants, Five-O, offered the colorful salad below, a bright magenta day-glo dish that melded two of Andy’s favorite items – beets and goat cheese – in this neatly-layered preamble to a wonderful meal.

Finally, after over a dozen years of visiting Ogunquit and hearing the locals claim that Bob’s Clam Hut was the only place to go for fried clams, we stopped in the midst of a shopping trip to Kittery and had an order of those legendary clams. The locals were right. When I returned to upstate New York, it was this basic dish that haunted my grumbling stomach in days to come. So often it’s the simple things that leave the most impact.

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