While baby brothers tend to get all the love and adoration, the eldest sibling typically paves the way – in this case Kevin Jonas finally gets some overdue love with this crowning as Dazzler of the Day in celebration of his first solo effort, ‘Changing’. Nick Jonas and Joe Jonas have had their own moments here over the years, but Kevin was in the world first, and has always been the quiet older presence rocking the guitar and guiding the band on its journey.
Missy gifted me the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius on my recent visit to Connecticut (more on that to come) and it’s a welcome return to the mindfulness and meditations I’ve been practicing. Daily meditation keeps my baseline at a calmer level, thereby allowing for greater moments of stress to not raise my mood into emergency territory – a very likely place to find myself in this day and age.
From the intro alone, I’m already feeling calmer…
“For a man’s greatness lies not in wealth and station, as the vulgar believe, nor yet in his intellectual capacity, which is often associated with the meanest moral character, the most abject servility to those in high places, and arrogance to the poor and lowly; but a man’s true greatness lies in the consciousness of an honest purpose in life, founded on a just estimate of himself and everything else, on frequent self-examination, and a steady obedience to the rule which he knows to be right, without troubling himself, as the emperor says he should not, about what others may think or say, or whether they do or do not do that which he thinks and says and does.” ~ GEORGE LONG
Our Autumn of Oud enters its golden November hour, framed by this of-the-recent-moment song ‘Golden’, which aligns with all the planetary, astrological charting that Virgo is said to be enthralled in at this moment. I’m not totally buying it, as this fall was supposed to be groundbreaking for us, with all kinds of monetary windfalls, and all I got was broken dishwashers, dryers, light fixtures, and traffic tickets. More is going out than coming in, so all you Tik-Tokers spewing the Virgo glow-up have a lot of explaining to do. Where is the gold already?
I was a ghost, I was alone
Given the throne, I didn’t know how to believe
I was the queen that I’m meant to be
I loved two lives, tried to play both sides
But I couldn’t find my own place.
Called a problem child ’cause I got too wild
But now that’s how I’m getting paid on stage.
Manifesting something wonderful is a lovely way to set a tone and intention for the month ahead, provided there is some grounding in reality and reason, and a pragmatic understanding of the limits of possibility. I try to aim for the stars, while having a safety net of sensibility in place. Also, it’s helpful to be willing to land on an equally-lofty, if unexpected, perch, and be open to such shifts without thinking your way is the only way; there are beautiful tree branches and sparkling high-rise buildings en route to the stars. Many are delightful destinations in their own right.
I’m done hiding, now I’m shining like I’m born to be
We dreaming hard, we came so far, now I’ll believe
We’re going up, up, up – it’s our moment
You know together we’re glowing
Gonna be, gonna be golden
Oh up, up, up with our voices
Gonna be, gonna be golden.
This autumn has found its groove on the blog with the polarizing essence of oud creating drama and metaphor, specifically within the idea of oud coming about from an attack on the interior of the agarwood tree, ultimately resulting in something beautiful and rare and valuable. (Oud is the by-product of a fungal infection, which triggers the production of the aromatic resin as a defense; it’s been poetically described as ‘the fragrant molecules of a wounded tree‘ ~ a description that might pertain to many of us in the ragged world today.) To align oneself with oud, to make oud the fragrance of the season, is to understand the way we must take attacks and difficulties and turn them into something better – something rich, something wonderful, something golden.
Waited so long to break these walls down
To wake up and feel like me
Put these patterns all in the past now
And finally live like the girl they all see
This is the sort of night that transforms a warm and pretty autumn into a stark and barren fall. It rips leaves from trees and tidies up brittle, dead branches – a ravaging and potent one-two punch of water and wind, perfectly and naturally designed to bring down all loosely-hanging appendages of beauty. They’re done their summer duty; they know it’s time to release, let go, fall and flutter, and join the ground from whence they came.
Dreading what the world will look like tomorrow morning, I write to prolong tonight…
One more Halloween song then – a midnight danse macabre, electronic-style – to slide us through to the other world, right when the veil between us is at its thinnest and most penetrable. Enter here…
I’m shot through the heart with your hocus-pocus
You make it hot, make it hard to focus
I… I… I think I’m fallin’ in love
Oh baby, work with your wand, turn me into a Mozart
I wanna write you a magnum opus
I… I… I think I’m fallin’ in love
You make it hard to focus
You got that hocus-pocus
Escaping the trick-or-treaters and leaving Andy to fend for himself (he ended up sleeping through it) I sit in a nearby coffee-shop enjoying the cafe culture. Aside from this loose sketch of a blog post, I’m mostly just scrolling through the phone when I suddenly remember the need for a proper scent for an upcoming early screening of ‘Wicked: For Good‘ on November 17. One of the scents that Cynthia Erivo herself reportedly wore during the filming of the movies, ‘Witchy Woo’ sounded ideal on more than one level, so I ordered a bottle blindly. It won’t arrive until next week, so it misses Halloween completely, but should get here just in time for the return of our Wicked Witches.
And really, Witches are for every day of the year, especially in the midnight hour…
All you sick, twisted fucks celebrating this pagan day of sin and darkness, precisely when the veil between the physical world and the spiritual world is at its thinnest, would do well to remember that this day, this holiday, is amateur hour for those of us who turn out an extraordinary wardrobe nightly. That run-on sentence is my way of not-so-pleasantly reminding everyone who gives the slightest shit (all three of you who read this blog, and whom I should probably treat a lot better) that Halloween is traditionally my day off.
Wear a cape and top hat to Hannaford on a random Tuesday in August then come see about me. Putting on a costume for Halloween – where is the challenge or surprise in that?
Be better.
Do better.
Dress better.
Happy Halloween to all who celebrate! As for the rest of us, it’s almost over – and the real holidays are about to begin. I hear Mariah squealing already…
Possible last words: I can’t tell if those are gooseberries or nightshade.
When you realize that you stand entirely alone in a world that celebrates togetherness, you cannot help but feel forever out of place and at odds with any environment in which you find yourself. When you feel out of place or alienated from your own family, that’s a whole other level of trauma.
Unique, that’s what you are
Stilettos kicking vintage crystal off the bar
Category bad bitch, I’m the bar (ooh)
Alien superstar, whip, whip
Andy recently said that he’s always sort of felt like an alien in his family, and at that moment I understood exactly what he meant, as well as why we get along so well; with such a shared experience we understand things in the other without having to voice it or figure it out – we simply get it, and it’s something that people who have always belonged will never understand. It’s a loneliness, a strength, and a way of survival that sets us slightly apart from most people with more functional family units.
I’m too classy for this world, forever I’m that girl
Feed you diamonds and pearls
Ooh, baby, I’m too classy to be touched
I paid ’em all in dust
I’m stingy with my love
And this isn’t an indictment or criticism of our respective family units – merely an observation, a way in which we have always felt like the outsiders, and a valuable component in finding sanctuary with each other. It’s also made us stronger and better people; when you have to forge your own family, without children or traditional ties, you develop methods of emotional survival that put other trials and tribulations to shame. We have to be strong that way, because we will grow old without the support of kids, and that’s a daunting concept for most people. For now we have each other, and there’s home enough in that.
Unicorn is the uniform you put on
Eyes on you when you perform
Eyes on I when I put on
Mastermind in haute couture
Label whores can’t clock, I’m so obscure (unique)
We learned long ago, from pain inflicted both purposely and inadvertently, that we could only count on ourselves. It should also be noted here that just because we can take care of ourselves doesn’t mean we don’t deserve as much love and support as those who can’t. Alas, that’s not the way the world works, and love sometimes has an unfortunate way of flowing along the easiest path.
Masterpiece genius, drip intravenous
Patty cake on that wrist
Tiffany Blue billboards over that ceiling (unique)
We don’t like plain
Always dreamed of paper planes
Mile high when I rodeo, then I come down and take off again (unique)
For my part, I subconsciously went about conjuring ways to be as enthralling and captivating as possible to prove my own worth, especially when those closest to me couldn’t be bothered. Andy forged his ways as well, and happily we met in time to create a life together for the last twenty-five years.
You see pleasure in my glare
Look over my shoulder and you ain’t scared
The effects you have on me when you stare
Head on a pillow, hike it in the air
“Another thing I learned in therapy?… The kids in dysfunctional families who act out and rebel are the ones who are the healthiest mentally. They’re the ones who see that something’s wrong. That’s why they act out, because they see the house is burning down, and they’re screaming for help. That was you.” ~ Meg Shaffer
I got pearls beneath my legs, my lips, my hands, my hips (U-N-I-Q-U-E)
I got diamonds beneath my thighs where his ego will find bliss
Can’t find an ocean deep that can’t compete with this cinnamon kiss (U-N-I-Q-U-E)
Fire beneath your feet, music when you speak, you’re so unique
Unique, that’s what you are
Lingerie reflecting off the mirror on the bar
Category sexy bitch, I’m the bar
Alien superstar
“At some point in the life of every scapegoat, the clock will strike the midnight hour, the masks will come off, and the aggression of family will reveal itself.” ~ M. Wakefield
The way a face lights up when a match is struck to light the cigarette.
The way it is plunged into smoke and darkness a moment later.
The way there is comfort and worry in that little sulfurous explosion.
The way we once wanted to be older than we were… and when did that change?
Passing the match test?
That’s some kind of tease, because everything rests on the moment the little flame sees
Let’s go boom boom in the zoom zoom room
If you get past that brief little flash, take down my number with your pencil moustache
Play truth or dare in the light of a strike anywhere
Don’t follow the fallen already lying down there
The past lives in a room of red.
The past lives in a scandalous restroom you never quite had the gall or balls to so gloriously defile.
Let’s go boom boom in the zoom zoom room
Oh yeah, uh huh
Boom boom in the zoom zoom room
I’ll be the cause you can champion
Your scarlet companion
And won’t it be fine?
Keeping my head above water
I’m no farmer’s daughter
No clinging vine
On the night before Halloween…
In which year exactly?… I can never remember.
This music is diabolical, it fucks with the mind, so insidious, so precious.
This lighting is like hell, behind curtains, beaded fringe, sumptuous and opulent… pure hell.
A French sort of desire, held captive in a birdcage, hot like neon, frigid like nitrogen… hellfire.
The way the face is lit by a flame…
When we trip the light fantastic, a feeling so rare, it will follow your features aligned by the glare
Let’s go boom boom in the zoom zoom room
Let’s go boom boom in the zoom zoom room
Among all the awfulness in the world, the worst may be willful apathy.
There is no more cutting attack, no more vicious cruelty, than not caring about a fellow human being.
And it’s so easy for anyone and everyone to enact.
What do you make of this image?
What is real and what is reflection?
What is artifice and what is art?
I don’t claim to have the answers, particularly regarding a visual riddle like this, where the interpretations – wild and varied and unfettered – reveal more of the viewer than the one who captured the image. A shift in focus – welcome and new – will keep this site from stagnating, and as I contemplate and loosely plot out another year of this nonsense, I like such a shift.
Mercury is once again in wretched retrograde motion, and I am so over it already I can’t even deal. On my way to the cafe where I’ve been writing lately, a traffic jam around that stupid traffic circle near the Colonie library (the circle should have been installed at the goddamned Crossings intersection) we paused for a few minutes going nowhere.
Above, I noticed a large bird circling, widely at first, then tighter and tighter. Initially I thought it was a blue heron, which was sometimes at the little library pond, but as it turned its head I saw the distinct white crest and white tail feathers of a bald eagle.
A majestic sight, and a reminder that at our most frustrated and annoyed, we should pause to take in our surroundings, to be mindful and present, so as not to miss anything, especially out of anger. Easier said than done, the lesson of this bald eagle is a powerful one – from a powerful totem animal – and I felt grateful to be in its wondrous presence.
After traffic resumed moving, I came upon a car accident on Wolf Road, backing things up further, but my mind was quieter then, and I was able to reach the cafe before the police arrived to shut the shit down.
Then it was the early evening of cafe culture until the streets cleared, and I finished this post.
He’s just been christened the Sexiest 40 Year Old by People Magazine, and he’s been here previously when we used to have a Hunk of the Day feature – today Derek Hough gets crowned Dazzler of the Day for making a name for himself in the world of dance and entertainment. Currently a judge on ‘Dancing With The Stars‘, Hough is still performing, dancing, inspiring, and yes, Dazzling.
The light in Boston changes at this time of the year, and every day it’s a little bit different.
The days shorten while the evenings elongate.
It’s a treacherous slide until winter begins and we head in the other direction, and while that still feels rather far off, it’s the next season in line, and not as far as it seems.
For now, I’m enjoying the light as long as it lasts.
One day I hope to spend a number of retirement days here, enjoying the light, studying it more closely when all I’ll have is time. It’s the one thing that proves elusive on my quick weekends away. Still, I must make room for it, as no tomorrow is ever promised with absolute certainty.
The days won’t be as vibrant or sunny as this for quite some time, and I’ll never get accustomed to their departure – the way the sky drains of color, the way the sun loses its potency, the way the greens will just gradually fade until they disappear completely beneath a blanket of snow.
I’m jumping ahead – something we shouldn’t do when fall is still aflame… as on the bricks of a former church.
The week of Halloween is a good time to celebrate all things Candy.
Everyone knows I love a good sweet treat.
And a cheesy, cheeky pop song.
Like Candy.
I was there to witness
Candice’s inner business
She wants the boys to notice
Her rainbows and her ponies
She was educated
But could not count to ten
Now she got lots of different horses
By lots of different men
And I say, “Liberate your sons and daughters”
The bush is high, but in the hole, there’s water
You can get some when they give it
Nothing sacred, but it’s a living
Halloween songs should be catchy and simple – it’s part of their potency. This bop by Robbie Williams is pure aural candy, sweet and sticky and bad for you in the best ways.
Hey, oh, here she goes
Either a little too high or a little too low
Got no self-esteem and vertigo
‘Cause she thinks she’s made of candy
Hey, oh, here she goes
Either a little too loud or a little too close
Got a hurricane at the back of her throat
She thinks she’s made of candy
Give me a treat over a trick any day – the slicker the sweater, the sweeter the better…
Adam Brody earns his first crowning as Dazzler of the Day thanks to a compendium of work that runs the gamut from ‘The O.C’ to his latest work in ‘Nobody Wants This’, for which he’s already been nominated for a Golden Globe, Emmy and Critics’ Choice Award. Add in film work for ‘Mr. and Mrs. Smith’, ‘Thank You For Smoking’, ‘Jennifer’s Body’, ‘Shazam’ and ‘Promising Young Woman’ among many others and you have the combustible talent and curriculum vitae that Dazzlers are made of.
