A Naked Leonardo DiCaprio, and a Lonely Movie-Goer

leonardo dicaprio naked 1

The title of this post is a bit of a misnomer, but if we take ‘lonely’ to simply indicate the state of being alone, it fits. This season, I’ve decided to make a concerted effort to see all (or most) of the Oscar-nominated films. (It was much easier when the Academy only nominated four or five – today there are a total of nine nominees, which makes it both time and money consuming, but a noble endeavor nonetheless.)

I began in Boston a few weeks ago, when a day of heavy rain forced most of us inside. I had just made it to the Loews at Boston Common when it started to come down. ‘American Hustle’ was the choice that morning, and though it was still early (just 11 AM) I picked up a large popcorn and a soda and made my way into a largely empty theater. I was alone, but seeing movies on my own has never bothered me. In fact, it was a favorite past-time when I was going to Brandeis, and continues to be to this day.

On weekends, I’d board the train into the city and arrive with no plan or anything to do. When the weather was iffy I’d peruse the Boston Phoenix to see which movies were playing and where. Back then, there were a couple of theaters that no longer exist – the one at Copley Square, in the Copley Mall (where Barneys now resides) and the one across from the Sheraton near Hynes Convention Center (which now houses King’s Bowling Alley and entertainment complex).

Armed with a book and a big container of popcorn, I’d arrive early and stake out a seat slightly off-center, and slightly toward the back. I liked being alone, and I didn’t like when people tried to talk to me. Most times, though, they left a single guy chomping down on popcorn relatively alone.

Looking back, it may have been a form of escape masquerading as something more. A way of avoiding real-life, or maybe I was just trying to avoid my college classmates, most of whom struck me as immature and foolish. (I didn’t think I was better than them, I simply didn’t share their interests. And, I’ll admit, I didn’t make much of an effort to get to know anyone that well. It was better to go into Boston and be alone.)

This past weekend, I saw two more of the nominated movies – ‘Gravity’ and ‘Her’ – on my own. Early matinees, with popcorn as an early lunch. I enjoyed them both, but was bowled over by neither. Next up will be ‘The Wolf of Wall Street’ and ‘12 Years A Slave’. So far, I’d give the Oscar edge to ‘American Hustle’, even if the first twenty minutes of that film left much to be desired. For those keeping track, here are the Oscar-nominated films for 2014:

American Hustle

“Captain Phillips”

“Dallas Buyers Club”





“12 Years a Slave”

“The Wolf of Wall Street” 

As for ‘The Wolf of Wall Street’, while Leonardo DiCaprio has already been a Hunk of the Day, he was never quite this naked, and he certainly never had anything shoved up his ass like he does here. Who needs gay porn with scenes like this?

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