Hints of the Holidays

We didn’t really have a holiday season last year, and it’s much too soon to know what this holiday season will be like, but I’m hopeful. While it’s a bit too soon to be diving into Christmas and ho-ho-ho shit, despite what the stores would have you believe, I’m not going to hate on anyone who wants to get a hump start on the season if it makes them happy and gives them a bump of joy. We are in far too much despair to begrudge anyone that. And to be honest, I may be indulging in extra holiday celebration this year, even if it means sitting alone in the Boston condo, listening to Christmas music and decorating the fireplace mantle for the first time in two years. This summer, after a typical rainy day, I found these holly leaves glistening in the overcast light, and they seemed like a harbinger of the year to come. Pretty, with a bit of sparkle, yet soaked in the melancholy tears of the universe. 

What will this upcoming holiday season bring? Hopefully cozy times with my husband and family and friends, and the simpler joys of life for those of us with the luxury of still being here. Last year was a complete and total bust, and we are all still feeling it. May this season be a little better. May we be a little kinder. May we love a little more. 

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Dazzler of the Day: David Pevsner

This rather naked day on the blog feels especially fitting for the Dazzler of the Day, David Pevsner, who earns his first crowning thanks to a decades-long show-business career, as chronicled thrillingly by his book ‘Damn Shame: A Memoir of Desire, Defiance, and Show Tunes’ – which just about says it all. With another penchant for modeling in the buff, Pevsner appeals to the spectacular space where art and beauty and the human body collide. A Renaissance man in the truest senses of the term, Pevsner has just about done it all – and all of it pretty magnificently. 

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Tell Me You’re Naked Without TELLING Me You’re Naked

This is admittedly a bit of a click-bait-and-switch post, because some people only enter here with the titillating possibility of gratuitous nudity. There is never judgment about such intentions – a click is a click is a click – and clicks actually don’t mean anything on this profit-free non-monetized website. Yet as I approach the latter half of my forties (well, not so much approach as exist within it) I find the desire to share some practices that make life better the older I get, and one of the main ones is deliberately making the effort to maintain a degree of mindfulness at all times. 

We rush and we work and we go through the motions of any given weekday with the express intent of simply getting through it, getting on with it, getting it out of the way so we can enjoy the weekend – and then we never quite make of it what we wanted to make of it. Even those weekends that do turn into something magical and memorable, are quickly forgotten within the first few moments of Monday morning mayhem, erased instantly as if they never even happened at all. How do we capture that and make Monday more like Sunday, and Tuesday more like Saturday? For me it’s in finding the little joys of mindfulness, and taking breaks and pauses to reconnect to the peace and silence that meditation can conjure. 

Does that mean stopping your work day and heading to the nearest spa for an extended massage on your lunch hour? No – though I wish. That’s not really practical or possible for most of us. But can we pause in our day to do some deep breathing, to get away from the desk and take a walk, to simply stand up and step outside for a moment to find whatever joy is at hand and in the air? Absolutely. It’s about being mindful and slowing down the racing thoughts that too often occupy our mind when we could and should be focused on being as present as possible. 

It begins with the very start of the day, in the otherwise-mundane motions of a shower. After 46 years, I’ve pretty much mastered the seven-minute shower, and for most of those years it always felt like a race – against the clock and against the cacophony of thoughts running through my head as the day began. In what should have been a peaceful and calm entry into the day was usually a rushed and jumbled mental marathon that left me spent by the time I turned the water off and started toweling off. The shower was efficient and effective in getting me cleaned and waking me up, yet it did little to set my mind at ease.

When I started reading up on mindfulness, the morning shower seemed the most basic place to begin. I slowed down my thoughts by focusing only on the present moment – the water, the heat, the soap, the scent – and all of the sensual aspects of a shower were enough to quell the bustling freight train of worries that would usually be barreling through my head. If done with enough concentration, it worked quite well, and eventually the concentration required became more habit than concerted effort, which is when mindfulness really takes off and starts bleeding helpfully into other areas of life. 

It doesn’t happen with every shower. Some days you just have to get in and out to make it into the office on time, and you have to tick through the duties of the day just so you won’t forget something. But for the most part, my mornings are more peaceful, and the rest of the day more energized, when I practice such mindfulness

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September Flaming Out

Tomorrow is already the last day of September – and just like that it goes up in flames as only September can do. Such a tricky month, and so fraught with drama and the possibility of a fall – the season and the act. We demand the burn, we drive the fire, we want something to make us feel again. And so we have September, who begins entrenched in the happiness of summer, and feels for some time like she’ll hang onto her summer garb forever, only to shrug it off like so many falling leaves. 

Then, just when you think she’s done with the vibrancy of summer days, she turns into fall, setting herself gorgeously aflame in colors that couldn’t shine quite as brilliantly in the sunny season. Somehow fall matches that vibrancy with its emotional journey. 

The sun is going down, it’s getting dark…

I’ve got the dreams, I’ve got the style, I’ve go the moves to make you smile…’

I had my share, I drank my fill, and even though I’m satisfied I’m hungry still…

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Dazzler of the Day: Shiloh Fernandez

This Dazzler of the Day goes out to my friend Josie, who recommended Shiloh Fernandez as the Dazzler/Hunk that this website has needed. He’s been seen in a wildly varied collection of work so far – from the television series ‘Jericho’ and ‘United States of Tara’ to the films ‘Deadgirl’, ‘Red Riding Hood’, and ‘The Birthday Cake’. No doubt more magic is on the way from that sultry stare.

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Cinnamon Remembrance

Fall has always been signified by the scent of cinnamon buns offset by the brisk, foggy chill of mornings that had no right being disturbed. School and work refused to honor such a system, and so I’d find myself in various places inhaling that morning scent of breakfasts enjoyed by others – in the homes of neighbors as we waited for their kids to join us on the way to school, on the campus of Brandeis, or the streets of Boston as I hurried to work at John Hancock or Structure for my fledging jobs. On this morning, as I heat up a cinnamon roll that Suzie made, I am reminded of the campus walk at Brandeis.  

The office of the registrar (and I’m not going to even pretend to know exactly what that is) was not a place I ventured regularly. I can actually only remember one or two times I sat there waiting for something – maybe a copy of my transcript – and I still don’t know for what. The building was relatively near my dorm, and every morning there was a delicious scent coming from within – cinnamon rolls or other sweet pastries – which tantalized and tortured, because even when I went inside there were none to be seen – only their lingering aroma was in evidence. 

As I sat there waiting for them to open one day, I wondered what exactly the office did. It feels more familiar to me now, as I seem to be in a similar administrative role in my current job, not directly or concretely working toward the specific task and mission of the agency, but working for the Human Resources side of it, for the administration of procedures that allow an office to operate. Such behind-the-scenes operations were always mysteriously glamorous to me. I understood they were needed to make a university or state office run efficiently, that they were there as a protection of sorts, and they were conduits of executing applicable laws and regulations. I would come to view all Human Resources and Personnel departments in the same way, not knowing or even thinking I would one day join their ranks. For that moment, they were the mysterious gatekeepers, who could stand in the way or grant passage, making life easy or more difficult, and I both despised and admired them for that. I also took all that I was feeing to heart, perhaps having some premonition I would be in a similar position and want the grace and decency to treat others as I wanted to be treated. 

But the main thing I remember is the fragrance of those cinnamon rolls, and that became inextricably bound to the start of fall. Brandeis was quiet in the early mornings, and I was one of the rare students who preferred the early classes for precisely that reason. As I traipsed up the hill near the Hassenfeld dorm, I breathed in the cinnamon-tinged air and welcomed the embrace of change, the scary thrill of the unknown. That fall morning memory fades, ducking behind a grove of maple trees with their leaves just starting to change… and another one forms.

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Mysterious Magic in the Garden

There was a puppet stand, and a woman dressed head to toe – or tail – as a mouse. 

The mouse nodded, for I did not see it at first, hidden slightly behind a make-shift puppet stand.

The stand held masks and puppets and mysterious objects that were surely laden with charms or curses or spells. 

Backing away, and sensing danger or trouble, I moved into the sunnier and safer section of the Garden.

On that day, I would not be tricked by magic or enchantment

On that day, I would not fall. 

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Dazzler of the Day: Richard Grant

After being completely enamored of his fragrance, I wasn’t sure Richard Grant could do anything to make me love him more, and then his performance in ‘Everybody’s Talking About Jamie’ goes and blows that foolish inclination up in a glorious puff of sparkle and pizzazz. As the mentor to a budding drag queen, Grant imbues his character with the world-weary, battle-scarred beauty of an aged performer perhaps slightly past their prime, and just waiting for a second act of inspiration. After a lifetime of secondary, though scene-stealing roles, Grant once again nimbly makes shreds of all surrounding scenery, and in a movie of memorable characters, he accomplishes the impossible by rising to the challenge of standing out. For all that, and a few decades of memorable roles (hello ‘Gosford Park’ and ‘The Age of Innocence’), Richard earns this Dazzler of the Day

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In Boston and In Bed

When the sun slants into the bedroom bay window, and the afternoon shifts from mid to late, my favorite place to be is reading a book or lounging in the sun-soaked bed of the Boston condo. I actively seek out this pocket of time for a siesta whenever I am in town, though when I lived there it more often seemed like I was out and about than home during this precious portion of the day. Perhaps that’s why it’s so lovely – always tantalizingly out of reach, its elusive nature addling to its allure – and I wanted so badly to have such a life of leisure so as to afford an afternoon siesta in the middle of the week. Alas, such treats must wait for retirement, or the occasional vacation day, or this recent Saturday afternoon when I could luxuriate in bed on a break from walking the city with family. 

There is a great deal to be said for simply existing and enjoying a moment of rest and repose. Too many of us feel uncomfortable or nervous when we pause or stop for more than a second in our break-neck pace of life, unaccustomed to such mindfulness, to the treat of calm and stillness when we make the effort to truly slow down. Meditation has allowed me to access that – though I have to say I’ve always been able to stop whatever I was doing and take a lunch or a break and re-charge. It’s why I can sustain and maintain a consistent pace. (One doesn’t keep a daily blog going for 18 years by burning out and posting in fits and starts.) The same goes for the steady stretch of jobs I’ve managed to keep and advance through for two decades – that doesn’t just happen. Whenever I feel myself getting anxious or agitated by work or website posts, I step back and pause, indulge in some self-care and recharging, then continue on with a lighter mental load. 

When such an indulgence can occur in a city like Boston, as the afternoon sun is filling the bedroom bay window and the autumn light is warm and abundant, I feel all the more grateful. 

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Dazzler of the Day: Max Harwood

My newest obsession is the movie version of the West End musical ‘Everybody’s Talking About Jamie’ – thanks in no small part to the winning performance of Max Harwood as the title character. With a blond mop and big eyes that take in the world as if it were made expressly for him, Harwood gives Jamie the untapped power and budding invincibility of a drag queen being born. Coupled with a poignant vulnerability, and a heartbreaking emotional journey, Harwood takes Jamie through the drama of being a teenager discovering their place in the world, and carving it out when it doesn’t quite fit. For this performance alone, Harwood earns the Dazzler of the Day.

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A First Fall Recap

Autumn and its golden splendor unfurls in fiery fashion, and this first week of fall was a roller-coaster of sun and rain, fun and pain. Though it was predicted that my last day on earth would be September 23, 2021, I sailed through as if I was still just in my 40’s. Today, Suzie and I are making a trip to Vermont to celebrate fall and see what we can find left from childhood memories. On with the recap…

Autumn architecture.

Summer ended in a haze of shades of gray.

It promised to return in better form next year.

The arrival of autumn claimed better weather than the sunny season.

Abba and fall made for a thrilling combination

Closing out summer in Boston with cousin Tyler

That pesky prediction of my early demise

And my prickly return to life

Mum’s the word.

The giving tree.

Making finger sandwiches for the family.

The splendiferous shades of this fall season on ALANILAGAN.com

Dazzlers of the Day included Marin Hinkle and Sander Jennings.

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Splendiferous Shades for September

The color scheme for the fall season of ALANILAGAN.com is heavy on orange and fuchsia, so this little collection of blooms as seen along the Southwest Corridor Park in Boston are a fitting floral personification of such heat. Marigolds and zinnias are ubiquitous heralders of summer, reminiscent of childhood days where such explosions of color were commonplace. Every year I see these scenes and regret not planning and planting more annuals for the yard – maybe next year I’ll actually do something about it. 

For now, they’re part of the Boston walking experience, and someone else has been good enough to care for them to get them to such a beautiful point. Hopefully the weather will last a little while longer and extend this summer show well into fall. 

Failing that, we have these pictures, and the accompanying memories, to see us through the last part of the year. 

I also find it helpful to find comparable fragrances that resonate with similar heat and panache – and in this case of bright and vivid color, none other than Diana Vreeland, and her intense brand of va-va-voom, will do. 

Fall burns, fall flares, fall sounds the gong of over-the-top saturation. 

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Dazzler of the Day: Sander Jennings

“Never underestimate the power of your story. Everyone has a different story and is living different experiences. Although no one’s life is alike, many of our triumphs, failures, hardships, and successes overlap. For that reason, I believe all of our experiences are important and can impact others. Recently I have been very focused on empowering and helping others share their story. I’ve learned that being a storyteller is sometimes about assisting other people in telling their stories. This realization has driven my work and leads me to want to help others feel empowered and recognize their importance. If you are someone who wants to share their story, go for it – you might be able to impact the lives of so many. If you need some guidance or potentially would like to have your story amplified on my page, feel free to dm the word “guide,” and I’ll try to help you out.” ~ Sander Jennings
As a sibling to transgender trailblazer Jazz Jennings, Sander Jennings has been a bit of a trailblazer himself, as a stalwart and unrelenting ally in the pursuit of equality, inclusion, and diversity. He puts it into words better than I could, and for his consistent and tireless work, he earns this Dazzler of the Day honor.
 
From Sander: This is important for everyone to know. To this day, I constantly get asked questions surrounding sexuality, so here are my thoughts:
 
#1. You don’t have to identify as LGBTQ+ to support the LGBTQ+ community. Allyship saves lives and can help create diversity, equity, and inclusion in society.
 
#2. To people who identify as a man and an ally: Don’t let other people questioning your masculinity or sexuality deter you from being an active ally to the LGBTQ+ community. Being an ally doesn’t make you less of a man.
 
#3. To everyone: Just because someone promotes pride and advocates for the community doesn’t mean you should jump to conclusions about their gender identity or sexual orientation.
 
#4. It is best never to ask someone about their sexuality. Create a safe space for someone to share that with you.
 
#5. People questioning you doesn’t need to make you question yourself. Be proud to be you.
 
Final thoughts: One of my main goals on social media is to bridge the gap between allies and the LGBTQ+ community. Some of my content is intended to amplify, uplift, and show support to the LGBTQ+ community. Other posts are designed to educate and encourage my cisgender & heterosexual followers to recognize the importance of Allyship. Whether you identify as LGBTQ+ or don’t, we are all valid and can promote diversity, equity and inclusion together. I love you all.
 
Follow my Instagram and Tiktok to learn more:
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Finger Sandwiches for the Family

I’ve always wanted to serve finger sandwiches for a fancy lunch at home, so when Mom and Dad and Elaine were stopping by for a lunch, I set about to serving a collection of finger sandwiches (also known affectionately as English tea sandwiches if they’d been done in fancier form). Thinking it would be easier than firing up the grill on a day when it may have been hot, I didn’t anticipate the work involved, particularly when over-reaching with a planned selection of five different varieties. It isn’t that it was difficult, just intricate and precious and time-consuming – all the things I purposely avoid when deciding what to cook for a gathering. But these are the things we do for family.

The first was a ham and cornichon and mustard-tinged aioli sandwich, followed by a smoked salmon and chive cream cheese on pumpernickel, then marinated cucumber and garlic-herb cream cheese, a simple egg salad with scallions, and for the fifth some store-bought Waldorf chicken salad because I was done by then. 

The company was worth all the work, and we spent the afternoon outside on the patio, taking in one of the final sunny days of summer, surrounded by trailing vines of sweet potato and pots of ripened figs on the fig trees. It was balmy yet breezy, and the hint of coolness on the air was welcome with the sun. 

As for doing these sandwiches again, I would do so, but limit it to one or two varieties, then set up an assembly line formation that would be much easier than switching it up with some ridiculously ambitious selection. Lesson learned the delicious way, and with the very best company. 

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Dazzler of the Day: Marin Hinkle

Picking up from the previously-named contingent of marvelousness that is Rachel Brosnahan and LeRoy McClain, this Dazzler of the Day is noted for her performance as Rose Weissman in ‘The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel’. In many ways she is my favorite character, probably because I feel she is the most like me, in every failing and character foible. Her intent is never wrong or ill, and she retains a nobility and grace and elegance in the face of the world around her crumbling apart, and I admire that too. On some level she realizes she is less than perfect, but her belief in everything she does imbues even her mistakes with a sense of poise and refinement. Hinkle has a history of impeccably embodying real, complex and often hilariously-comedic characters, such as in her work on ‘Once and Again’ and ‘Two and a Half Men’. As the mother to Mrs. Maisel, she’s at the top of her game. 

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