Category Archives: Holiday

Holiday Stroll 2022: With My Husband ~ Part 2

The second day of our Holiday Stroll weekend began in colder and grayer form. Andy slept in, and I made my way to downtown to get the supplies for the following week’s Children’s Holiday gathering – another planned return to something we once did with some semblance of regularity, and which now felt strange and new. I shuffled along the Southwest Corridor Park and noticed that flowers and berries were still showing off. 

It recalled the Lenten roses I’d seen on our car ride home the night before – a row of them in ghostly bloom at this late date in December, somehow blooming on an evening when both Andy and I were too chilled to explore the city any further. On this day, the same chill was in the air, so I hurried along and finished all my shopping – both for the following week, and all the holiday shopping for friends and family. (Jaxon Layne was the last one I needed to find something for.) 

Returning home to find Andy ensconced on his end of the couch and finishing up his cup of coffee, I joined him for an early afternoon siesta – a favorite part of visiting Boston now

Dusk came quickly, and without wanting a formal or stuffy dinner scene we took a car to Chinatown and had another meal of comfort food. Miscalculating the timing, our early dinner plans ran into the matinee-ending crush of the nearby theater district, so traffic snarled and snagged, causing us to walk over to the Ritz-Carlton for a beat, where we found another fireplace that played a part on previous holiday strolls and visits.

One of those jewel-like moments that find their unplanned way into every holiday stroll, we paused there to get warm, then continued on through the chilly night, down Boylston and all the way to the Newbury. 

Formerly the Taj, this was where we spent our wedding weekend, and as such holds special significance. We are accustomed to seeing this spot filled with flowers, but the Christmas version was just as spectacular. Across the street, a battalion of geese stood sentry on the pond at the Boston Public Garden. Maybe for our wedding anniversary we will return for a night in one of the suites. 

For now, we can merely afford another night at the condo, which held its own holiday allure with this mantle of stockings (the ‘E’ is for Emi and the ‘N’ is for Noah who will be joining me next weekend). 

And while I missed Kira this time around, I might have had a more heartfelt stroll being accompanied by Andy. When he’s not in Boston, his presence is always felt – in the Public Garden, at our favorite restaurants, along the Southwest Corridor Park – and when he is in Boston, it’s even better. 

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Holiday Stroll 2022: With My Husband ~ Part 1

This is one of those scary transitional years that always feels like it’s going to wreak havoc with a Virgo’s desire for order and consistency, but teaches happy lessons in letting go and going with the flow. When Kira indicated she wasn’t yet ready to do a holiday stroll, I was disappointed but understood. It forced a change-up that’s been in the making for a few years. The last time we did an official stroll was in 2019, right before COVID hit, and nothing has been the same since. We squeaked out a time-traveling bit of holiday magic to make the Holiday Stroll of 2020, but in 2021 it fell apart completely. No stroll, no roll. And somehow, no drama. We’d all been too beaten down to care. 

2022 felt like it might be the return of something normal, the rekindling of something good, but after a few months, the year proved to be just another dud, so when Kira canceled this year’s planned stroll, I turned to Andy and asked him to join me and lift my spirits. Good guy that he is, he agreed to come along for his first holiday stroll, and save a Christmas weekend that might have been lost to sadness. 

If you look closely at the bottom center of the above photo, you will notice a gentleman making his way through the Southwest Corridor Park – that’s Andy, returning from dropping off the car in the garage. Out of my many years spent in Boston, one of the happiest sights is seeing Andy walking along this path. It was an auspicious beginning to a peaceful stroll. 

My first order of business was decorating the condo, so I lit a few festive candles that soon spread their spicy, warm scents of cinnamons and balsam and cloves and pine throughout the rooms. Andy pulled a stool over to his spot on the couch and set up his coffee, while some quasi-holiday-music played on the stereo from a favorite movie.

Curtains went up, the mantle was decked out, garlands were lit, and pillows were switched out for the Christmas season. A welcome sense of coziness swelled just as the temperature went down and the day dimmed. My only real strolling plan was a walk through the Seaport Holiday Market – it would be my first time visiting it, so Andy and I would experience another first together, like we did so many years ago, and so many years since. 

The market was cute and quaint, and more extensive than we expected – with local artisans offering their goods. Walking but we hurried through it because it was also much colder than we had anticipated. 

I’d made reservations at The Smoke Shop for some warm comfort food – another first that turned out to be another happy moment. After any sort of walking expedition, especially in Boston, one works up an appetite, so I ordered the ‘Pit Crew’ with two meats and two sides and all was well with the world. Andy started with a cozy little cocktail called ‘Saving Daylight’ which consisted of bourbon, honey, lemon and a touch of cinnamon, while I opted for a tall glass of ginger ale. It was a very good meal, and we finished it off with some egg nog butter cake. 

The walk across one of the bridges bringing us back from the Seaport section was brutal – windy and cold and biting – so we paused by a fireplace at the Intercontinental Hotel before getting an Uber home. 

The fading remnants of a recently-full moon hung low in the sky, sparkling on the water and lending an aspect of holiday magic to the end of the evening. We returned to the cozy condo scene, and after a hot shower I slipped into the bed, where Andy joined me for the showing of ‘The Man Who Came to Dinner’ – a Holiday Stroll tradition that somehow was still intact.

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Holiday Card 2022: An Offer You Can’t Refuse

“Great men are not born great, they grow great…” ~ Mario Puzo, ‘The Godfather’

First and foremost, a thank you to Jaxon Layne Ilagan, and his parents Paul and Landrie, for making this year’s holiday card possible. On July 22, 2022, I became a Godfather to this beautiful baby, and he’s been a happy addition to all of our lives ever since. The bond between godfather and godson feels tenuously loose in today’s world, but back in my youth a Godfather played a major part in setting an example (and producing a magnificent gift for every birthday). I aim to bring back that bond, while continuing the fun that I’ve enjoyed with my niece and nephew

This card could not have been created any year prior to this. Sure, I could have grayed in my hair and struck the pose at any point, but it would have rung hollow before actually becoming a Godfather, so we have little Jaxon Layne to thank for that – the first of many thanks for enriching my life. It joins the pantheon of holiday cards that have played out over the past few decades, going all the way back to 1995. Here’s one look at some earlier holiday cards, which were far racier than a little mobster action.

And here’s another look at some previous cards, including the most controversial one I’ve ever sent out (which also happens to be my favorite of all time because I’m sick like that). Absolutely no regrets, even in this mirror-of-society card from 2018 that no one much liked or this slightly more comical one of kitchen antics in 2019. For 2020, and that tumultuous time period, I went for a warmer and more reassuring card featuring Mom and Dad, while 2021 evoked a peaceful holiday slumber.

“I don’t trust society to protect us, I have no intention of placing my fate in the hands of men whose only qualification is that they managed to con a block of people to vote for them.” ~ Mario Puzo, ‘The Godfather’

This year is another family affair, even if ‘family’ here has a slightly different meaning, and the traditional notion is implied rather than explicitly featured. I like a card that works on multiple levels, and this one is heavy on multilayered meanings. 

“He claimed that there was no greater natural advantage in life than having an enemy overestimate your faults, unless it was to have a friend underestimate your virtues.” ~ Mario Puzo, ‘The Godfather’

A semi-full list of previous cards:

 

“It was not perhaps the warmest friendship in the world, they would not send each other Christmas gift greetings, but they would not murder each other.” ~ Mario Puzo, ‘The Godfather’

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We Need It Now

Maybe not the full-fledged extravaganza just yet, but a little bit.

Just to get the spirit started.

We are doing thing in smaller quieter fashion and form this year, so just a little right now. 

Listen and love it. 

The outfits.

The hair.

The energy.

The sass and verve!

This is Silver, Wood and Ivory. 

It’s coming on Christmas, and I’m trying to get into it, really I am. 

This video is an inspiration

I haven’t that many skin flutes in my mouth since I can’t remember when… 

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The Frosty Greenhouse

Like most kids of a certain age, we had our holiday classics which we watched religiously at this time of the year. ‘The Grinch Who Stole Christmas‘, ‘A Charlie Brown Christmas‘, ‘Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer‘ and all those other stop-motion Santa Claus features. One of the oddly-disturbing ones was ‘Frosty the Snowman’, which always brought me to the verge of tears. 

In order to save Frosty, his friend and creator Karen boards a train to deliver him to the North Pole, where he won’t be in danger of melting. As they near their destination, and the world turns all wintry and white with snow, they find themselves outside, where Karen is chilled and in need of warmth. As happens in magical situations, there just so happens to be a greenhouse in the middle of this snowy night, and they duck into it to spend the night and warm Karen up.

Frosty: ‘Cause when the thermometer gets all reddish, the temperature goes up. And when the temperature goes up, I start to melt! And when I start to melt, I get all wishy-washy.

When Karen wakes from her nap, all she finds is Frosty’s magical top hat and a big puddle where Frosty used to be. My heart always broke at that scene, no matter how many times I’d seen it. I wondered if it was as traumatic for anyone else. 

As much as the scene tramautzed me, it also intrigued and enchanted. A greenhouse in the midst of a snowy night felt magical, like one of those gorgeously contrasted sensations when one cuddles into a nest of blankets in the midst of a chilly room – the feeing of being warm and cozy while in close proximity to a cold and wintry world. 

I also love a greenhouse in the middle of a frightful winter – it is good for the soul. I make weekly pilgrimages to the local nursery during the winter just to save my sanity. Breathing in warm and humid air and smelling the earthly delights is a balm for my mental well-being – at any time of the year, but particularly so in the winter. 

Santa Claus: Don’t cry, Karen, Frosty’s not gone for good. You see, he was made out of Christmas snow and Christmas snow can never disappear completely. It sometimes goes away for almost a year at a time and takes the form of spring and summer rain. But you can bet your boots that when a good, jolly December wind kisses it, it will turn into Christmas snow all over again.
Karen: Yes, but… He was my friend.
Santa Claus: Just watch.

As for Frosty, the happy ending always rang a little hollow, but every year I would watch it all over again, hoping for some other outcome, hoping he would escape into the world of winter when he had a chance, save himself before he needed to be saved, and live happily ever after. We all want the Christmas miracle. 

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Easing Into Evergreen Season With A Waltz

Waltzing into the holiday season in slightly-trepidatious fashion, I’m slow to embrace the happiness and cheer that is supposed to be instantly upon us. Life just isn’t as easy and fun as it once seemed to be. Maybe I see things more clearly, maybe we’re all just getting older, or maybe I’ve been worn down by all of it – whatever the case, this is a languid little dance to get the heart moving again. It’s been my favorite Christmas song for the last few years, starting with its masterful employment in this magical ‘Mad Men’ scene

Easing into the end of the calendar year is always fraught with heightened emotions and drama. Despite its supposed meaning, Christmas somehow brings out the worst in us, and I’ve been no exception. Most years I just want to get it all over with as soon as possible – give me the glorious mundane expanse of a barren January, when all the fake cheer and forced camaraderie have frozen back into their rightful form of non-existence. 

And yet at some point in all the Christmas bombast, I usually manage to find some small jewel of a moment that rings true to the spirit of the season – at least what the true spirit should be – and for this I hold out hope. Sometimes it’s in a song like this, or an unexpected visit from a friend, or the simple realization that we are all still so lucky…

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The Holly Without the Ivy

We begin in even quieter form than we did last year, when we had both holly and ivy to kick off the season. Today, it’s holly alone, and we’ll have to add the ivy at a later date. Maybe it’s better to space them out a bit, to allow for a longer and more lasting season. This year it’s going to take some Herculean efforts to push me into holiday merriment, so it will be best to keep expectations low, to take in the little moments of quiet and stillness, or maybe take a few walks in the woods if the weather allows. 

Reconnecting with nature is the goal this winter. That will take some planning and work, as my habit at this time of the year is to retreat inside, replacing the daily walk around our little house with spells in the attic, or channel-surfing by the fireplace in the basement. If I put out the intent to get outside more, maybe I’ll manifest the action. Let this be an earnest intention to make the attempt. 

“The holly and the ivy,
When they are both full grown,
Of all the trees that are in the wood,
The holly bears the crown.”

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Royal Holiday Tradition

Ever since receiving this as a birthday gift from a few years ago, my Thanksgiving scent has been ‘Royal Oud’ by Creed – a woody and peppery oud that appropriately tips its hat to the gourmand goals of the holiday. The House of Creed also provided my wedding day fragrance (‘Green Irish Tweed‘) as well as the signature ‘Aventus’ to which I finally succumbed and use as an office fragrance. ‘Royal Oud’ is the more challenging and complex of the trio of Creed offerings on my scent shelf, and I have grown to love it in the cooler months. It’s cozy and spicy and warm, like a favorite sweater that some people love, and some find too much. 

Whenever I slip into a period of self-doubt, when insecurity rears its relentless head, I put on a jacket, and a spritz of good cologne, and I feel a little bit better. It puts me back on track – a realignment that reminds me of simpler times, when problems could be so easily solved by a change of cologne or clothing. 

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A First Recap for the New Year

The New Year came with an early dinner with family, a return to a tradition that began from as far back as I can remember. While Thanksgiving and Christmas were always spent at the Ko house, New Year’s Day was hosted by our family. We had to skip last year’s because of COVID, but now that immediate family is all vaccinated we held it again, and I am grateful for that. It was a lovely and meaningful way to enter a new calendar year. Here’s the first recap of 2022, and within it there are several other recaps, so prepare for loads of links. 

Winter gray hair, don’t really care.

An asset to the abbey.

A Christmas jewel.

The traditional midnight wish to share with you

Most of us wanted to see 2021 go as quickly a possible, and I was no exception, so the Year in Review was kept shorter as seen in this first part and again in this last part.

Spank my New Year’s ass, baby!

I joined Twitter on January 1, 2010 – so this week marked a dozen years of wasted time there

This is still the land of confusion. [See Genesis 1986.]

A cheery mandevilla brightens my lunch

Dazzlers of the Day included Mr. M, Miranda Hart, Emily Blunt, and Tom Ellis. 

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A Jewel of a Christmas Moment Extended

Andy likes to keep the Christmas tree up until at least ‘Little Christmas’ which I believe is January 6, and at this dark time of the year I’m all for it. Our other little trees will remain up until the end of January. It extends the warm glow of the holidays, and makes the front end of winter go by in cheerier fashion. I also feel like we didn’t get as much out of Christmas as we have in the past – maybe it was all the worry about COVID and dealing with family issues, maybe it was the socially-distant state of the world, and maybe (most likely) it was my inability to simply sit down in front of the Christmas tree and take it all in – slowly and mindfully and meaningfully. The only time I got to do that was when Andy and I opened our gifts on Christmas Eve – after it was done we simply sat beside the tree, talking and appreciating the moment and our time together.

In a way, extending the season is a way to pause and take it all in, which may be easier to do now that the big day has come and gone. The resonant part of what Christmas means remains. Without the stress and bombast and pressure of all the shopping and general insanity of the weeks and days leading up to it, we have reached the space of quiet and contemplation to truly enjoy a Christmas moment.

Our Christmas tree was lit by me and decorated by Andy. It has ornaments that are decades old, as well as newer ones that have only been with us for a couple of years. As we add more, it only gets more beautiful each year – a rare moment when accumulating objects increases the visual appeal of something.

There’s also something magical about the Christmas tree that makes every picture of an ornament look far prettier than they have any right to be. The lighting and the evergreen needles and the idea of being nestled in a cozy bough lends further enchantment.

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Holiday Celebration

We were fortunate enough to have a lovely family Christmas with Mom and Dad and immediate family in Amsterdam – and that’s about all I wanted for Christmas this year. I think we are all realizing how lucky we are simply to be here and with each other after the past couple of years. Everyone is getting older, and the fleeting nature of time impresses itself upon us in various difficult ways. For this Christmas, we paused as a family and enjoyed the company and the love. That merits a look back at this whole holiday season here, much of which was spent staving off the chaos and trying to focus on the calm and peace. 

It began with the close of October, and the mysteries of Halloween, framed with a song and a hat.

Hints of the season began to hit more solidly in mid-November. 

Thanksgiving came and went without a gathering, thanks to COVID. 

December arrived with the holly and the ivy.

A holiday tablescape formed the centerpiece of a couple of dinners. 

Two queens in a king-sized bed kept things cozy while outside the wind raged. 

Carrying a Christmas torch.

Sailing high above the world, to better view the ships. 

Dreams and hopes of a Boston holiday

Cheerful Christmas citrus.

Cooking for a Christmas at the cathedral.

The Holiday Card 2020: a peaceful affair filled with somber slumber.

Snowy jazz.

The secret of the Russian holiday tea, revealed and laid bare. 

With a hush and a wink, I sang my little heart out in this Christmas concert memory from decades ago.

Andy finally brought me around (read: beat me down) with a few marathon days of this Christmas classic. 

While my holiday stroll with Kira has been postponed, after the calamity that was 2020, it doesn’t feel so earth-shattering – we opted for this look-back to bide the time until it happens

Christmas mix tape.

A piano Christmas memory

An unconventional Christmas song

The arrival of winter, on its second day.

Edelweiss and a shiny bright ball.

‘Twas the night before the night before Christmas.

The solemnity of Christmas Eve and the light recalled from a Christmas mass

This marked the 50th Christmas my Mom and Dad spent together. A happy milestone for all of us.

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Scenes from a Family Christmas Eve

Mom told me that this year marked the 50th year that she and Dad were spending Christmas together, which made for a very special evening, one for which I’m supremely grateful and thankful. We’re all getting older, and every Christmas spent together is now cherished and felt a little deeper. 

After a delicious dinner cooked by Mom, we opened our Christmas gifts, the same way we’ve done for decades. When we are less and less sure of the world, and our place in it, there are some traditions that bring us all the way back to the safety and security of childhood, when everything felt right and full of wonder, even if it was just for one night out of the year. That one night was always enough to last until the next Christmas. 

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Merry Christmas, Everyone

From our family to you and yours, I wish you the happiest of Christmas Days. 

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Church Light

For those of us who miss attending Mass tonight, here is a video to remind you of the magic and magnificence, coupled with the simplicity and power of the reason for the season. Christmas is no longer as much about religion as it once was – it’s about something so much more. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7pqQ4y9_sBU

That expansive idea, of spirituality and a universal love, is sparked by Christmas only when we take the time to push aside the commercial circus and return to a place of purity and humanity. 

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The Solemnity of Christmas Eve

The older we grow, the darker our holidays seem to get. But even at the ripe old age of 46, I still find moments of magic and wonder, especially on this most magical night of the year. While the world anxiously awaits the explosion of gifts and wrapping and mayhem on Christmas Day, it is the supreme calm of Christmas Eve that I’ve always enjoyed more, even as a boy.

A sense of serenity imbues the calm before the storm, and in many ways there’s no greater storm than Christmas morn. Christmas Eve is that pocket of time that suddenly feels hushed, not rushed – a break in the relentless lead-up to the main event, as if the world is slowly taking a deep breath before letting all hell break loose again. 

In that quiet space and solemn time, my parents always took us to Christmas Mass, where I usually served as an altar boy. The packed crowd and their winter clothes darkened the cavernous place, lending a cozier atmosphere, one charged with the reminder of why we were all celebrating: the simple story of the birth of Jesus. A straw-laden manger, topped with evergreen boughs and twinkling lights, was populated by statues of the characters of the story – and for Christmas mass the baby Jesus finally made his miraculous appearance. 

The message of this silent evening – the appearance of the miracle of hope and goodness, of light in the darkest night – always struck through all the wish lists and frantic running around that otherwise signaled the season. It grounded me, even as a child who could have been forgiven for flying off on childish fancies. Over the years, Christmas Eve retained that stillness and silence, even if it was fleeting, even if it came saddled with the growing pains of family and life and a world that felt increasingly hostile. For this one night, everything could be peaceful, everything calm. 

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