I must’ve dreamed a thousand dreams
Been haunted by a million screams
But I can hear the marching feet
They’re moving into the street
Now did you read the news today?
They say the danger’s gone away
But I can see the fires still alight
They’re burning into the night
Pulling my mask a bit tighter against my face, I shuffle to the entrance of the Loudonville Price Chopper. Some guy from a dirty truck with a Trump sticker is right behind me, maskless – as he will remain (literally the only idiot not wearing a mask in the entire store) and I only wish my eyes are conveying the scowl and disgust that must remain hidden behind my own mask. Shrugging it off, because what else is there to do anymore, I listen to the song playing on the sound system, which is vaguely familiar and suddenly harkening to a childhood memory. Well, not so much a specific memory as a feeling and a place – my childhood home, a day in winter, and the flashing movements of a puppet-fueled video. It strikes some terror in my heart too, so it may have been right before we had to give a speech in sixth grade – so brutally terrifying was the notion of being in front of a group of people, even then. This is ‘Land of Confusion’ by Genesis – one of the follow-up tracks to the far superior ‘Invisible Touch’ which had informed the previous summer. (Pop music always lands better in the memory bank during the summer – I don’t know why.)
There’s too many men, too many people
Making too many problems
And not much love to go ’round
Can’t you see this is a land of confusion?
This is the world we live in (oh, oh, oh)
And these are the hands we’re given (oh, oh, oh)
Use them and let’s start trying (oh, oh, oh)
To make it a place worth living in…
The confusion of being in sixth grade – where elementary school ended and with it so much of the innocence of childhood – left me both aching to escape and longing to go back. Nobody explains adolescence to you in any effective way, and I’m not sure how we would even do that now. Happily bereft of children, I find that it’s not something that has crossed my radar. As for how I navigated through my own youth, it was a series of trials and tribulations, learning from mistakes and staying so low-key so as not to astonish or arouse suspicion. That’s strange for someone whose very characteristics set him apart from the majority of the pack. A lone wolf struggles and suffers, but if they survive they are all the stronger for it. Survival in such cases is too often a tremulous ‘if’, and I’m sorry that it had to be so.
Oh, Superman, where are you now
When everything’s gone wrong somehow?
The men of steel, the men of power
Are losing control by the hour
This is the time, this is the place
So we look for the future
But there’s not much love to go ’round
Tell me why this is a land of confusion
I didn’t really like this song, but the chorus was catchy enough to get caught in my head (damn the hook!) The video was also on constant rotation, at a time when MTV actually played music videos. Whirling and swirling, I felt the mayhem of the lyrics and the tumult of the musical cadences, all conspiring to define a moment of contained chaos.
This is the world we live in (oh, oh, oh)
And these are the hands we’re given (oh, oh, oh)
Use them and let’s start trying (oh, oh, oh)
To make it a place worth living in
I remember long ago
Oh, when the sun was shining
Yes, and the stars were bright all through the night
And the sound of your laughter as I held you tight
So long ago…
It’s not that far from where we are today, only now I’m an adult, and should be equipped for dealing with it better. Of course I’m not – the fallacy of adulthood being that children are in so many ways wiser and more reasonable. The fears I had then were only replaced by the fears I have now, and adult fears are often worse because they are of actual events rather than the made-up fantasy of imagination and what-if. Dragons are easily defeated; death not so much.
I won’t be coming home tonight
My generation will put it right
We’re not just making promises
That we know we’ll never keep
Too many men, there’s too many people
Making too many problems
And not much love to go ’round
Can’t you see this is a land of confusion?
I’m not sure what comfort or solace or resolution comes from merely pointing out the problems and identifying the existence of confusion and angst, but here it is in the hopes that something good results. Or at least nothing bad. The mere absence of awful events – the stagnant notion of nothing happening – is underrated these days. Let’s bring that back in vogue.
Now this is the world we live in (oh, oh, oh)
And these are the hands we’re given (oh, oh, oh)
Use them and let’s start trying (oh, oh, oh)
To make it a place worth fighting for
This is the world we live in (oh, oh, oh)
And these are the names we’re given (oh, oh, oh)
Stand up and let’s start showing (oh, oh, oh)
Just where our lives are going to…
