People have been trying to get me to try bubble tea for years – and I thought I might have on an excursion with Kira in Cambridge years ago – God how we miss Kira – but it apparently made little to no impression on me other than I wasn’t a huge fan. Oh Lord my head is spinning! Wait now…
Ok – here’s the sitch: I do NOT do well on caffeine. It hypes me up too much, I feel like my heart is exploding and I’m jittery and talk-a-mile-a-minute even if we should be moving into the metric system, and apparently there is tea in bubble tea which, DUH, maybe I should have thought about but didn’t. So I am going to live-blog this mofo night in our house while the rain and wind rages! Join me! ALL NIGHT LONG, like Lionel… not that Lionel, the Richie one. Check back for more updates!
8:25 PM – I slurped up the final beads of a Coconut Bubble Tea, with traditional BOBA, because this is only my second time at the Bubble Tea house and I went with what felt like I should be saying when the woman taking my order started peppering me with questions. Andy and I ran an errand after I got it, but I left the tea in the cup holder because I’m not allowed to have liquids in his car anymore (though I only ever remember crumbing a chocolate chip cookie in his car in the early days of our relationship). At about 8:26 PM it suddenly dawned on me that – WAIT – is there caffeine in bubble tea?!?
8:27 PM – I panic-texted a few friends who had mentioned the bubble tea to me in previous incarnations of our time here on earth.
8:29 PM – Time to heat up the carnitas!
8:30 PM – My spirit animal is the first to respond (I just saw her in Boston!) and she was all “HAHAHA” and then “My friends were next to me when I got this and I got a chorus of ‘I love your uncle.'”
8:32 PM – More reports coming in that bubble tea is tea and may have caffeine in it. I’m befuddled. It looks perfectly cream-colored with nary a tint of tea.
8:57 PM – Andy banishes me to the attic for the rest of the night. Like I can’t FUCK SHIT UP from this lofty vantage point! HA!!! I’m going Michael Flatley on these wooden floors! Lord of the Irish Jig! Where my clogs at?!
9:13 PM – Mia chimes in to my caffeine SOS: “God help you. God help us all. Take cover and sleep it off.”
9:24 PM – Oh fuck, I forgot the carnitas in the microwave! No wonder it was beeping every five minutes. I have become adept at ignoring the BEEPS.
9:28 PM – Let me add some links to this page. I love links! Click on all the links I am going to create for you!
9:31 PM – Oh fuck, I forgot the carnitas again! What is the post of the dumb BEEPS if no one is going to listen to them?
9:32 PM – Too many messages are coming in from everywhere and I’ve bitten off more boba beads than I can chew. I need the carnitas. Let me dine in peace! It is not good to eat so late.
9:35 PM – Click on this link now. Remember the old Atari 400 Computer when we would write little lines of code. Line 10 would be ‘Make a colorful line’ and then Line 20 would be ‘Go to Line 10’ and then a loop of colorful lines would appear when it ran! This is like that. Go to Line 10.
9:39 PM – Please allow me to remember and enjoy a carnitas bowl that has been in the microwave for God knows nobody’s business.
9:41 PM – Adding a carnitas link!
9:41 PM – Does anyone click the links? I do hope so – links are life! They connect the present with the past. We just watched ‘Grey Gardens’ again today. It’s very difficult to keep the line between the present and the past. Very difficult.
9:50 PM – Carnitas break! For real this time! Back in a bit! Maybe not! Shouldn’t be live blogging. This is why.
10:00 PM – All glory and honor to the almighty ‘American Life’ album, celebrating its 20th anniversary! Just like us!
10:02 PM – Caffeine may be fading, but it’s still bringing out the exclamation points!
10:13 PM – When you don’t know how to end it: Miss Vanjie… Miss Vanjie… Miss Vanjie…
10:14 PM – Taking a shower!
10:54 PM – Guess who’s back? Tell a friend!
10:55 PM – Before I start the entire series of ‘Mad Men’ again, a few thoughts that came to me while showering. Most of my best blog post ideas, if any have been decent, come to me when I’m in the shower. That’s when I’ll come up with the perfect turn of phrase or cadence of words for something, and of course there is nowhere to write it other than on the shower door which the steam soon erases anyway so we need to devise some sort of writing mechanism that is water-proof – maybe mascara – for just such an instance. There, now, it’s gone from my head. This should have been brilliant. But now only the faded echoes of brilliance, which is just dullness, remain. Caffeine gives me the jitters and run-on sentences.
11:07 PM – ‘Mad Men’ has been chosen as the (Godwilling/fingers-crossed/Sweet Baby Jesus) wind-down for this journey because it has always held a sort of Zen-like atmosphere. Maybe it’s the intricate period detail, or the slow and methodical character development, or the delicate unfurling of all that cigarette smoke – whatever the case, it’s a calming show for me, and at this particular moment of all the particular moments, I want for a calming influence. (I’ve also had a big-ass glass of water so once the caffeine gets diluted I’ll be able to fall asleep and probably wet the bed.)
11:21 PM – Here to make this post extra linkalicious for you. FOR ALL OF YOU!!! ALL FUCKING FOUR OF YOU!!!!
11:28 PM – Is this thing on?
11:30 PM – To quote ‘Parade’, “This is not over yet!” I will speak for you Leo!!!
11:31 PM – Nope.
12:56 AM – Attempting sleep now. Pray that this long national nightmare is over.
1:01 AM – Let me just check Instagram for a sec as I’ve already done the Wordle of the day.
1:02 AM – Do I need a colorful fan wreath? It’s a wreath made out of colorful fans.
1:03 AM – Maybe I will sleep better in the bedroom.
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