Category Archives: Tiny Threads

I am my own private clown, able to crack myself up while sitting alone in a cafe. Self-entertainment, something I perfected as a child enamored of solitude, is the surest path to an enjoyable life. 

#TinyThreads

The universe fucks us over by so often making the loudest people also the dumbest.

{See MAGA.}

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This seems to be a cardinal rule of most cafes and coffeeshops: if the decaf coffee isn’t already made, they will forget to make it.

Decaf drinkers get treated differently.

Not saying it’s intentional.

Not saying it’s not.

#TinyThreads

My social media advertising algorithm knows precisely what I want, but until it figures out how not to display those items that have already been sold out, I won’t be clicking on any of the suggestions.

Can’t take anymore of that heartbreak. 

#TinyThreads

The Christmas spirit has found me and it’s like someone inseminated my ass with good will and Christmas cheer! 

Merry, merry, not contrary…

#TinyThreads

How did we ever derive ‘Peggy’ from the name ‘Margaret’? And who would want to be called ‘Peggy’?

Though I suppose there are those who love getting pegged…

My mind is a terrifying place to be sometimes.

Most times.

#TinyThreads

As I was relieving myself the other day, I thought of a possible title for an autobiography: “Pissing on Shirttails.”

Has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?

#TinyThreads

Christmas Eve calls for sequins.

This is basic stuff.

I said what I said.

#TinyThreads

When a Virgo stops caring… I’d say watch out, but it will probably be too late.

It’s frigid beneath that shadow.

#TinyThreads

Whenever I feel annoyed or agitated by someone – and it probably happens as much as you might expect – I try to think of them smiling and laughing in a moment of unguarded, unbridled joy and happiness – and it instantly arrests the next step to anger.

A good trick to employ during the holiday season.

Or any season actually.

#TinyThreads

The days of me trying to tip-toe around things are done.

Now I stride.

#TinyThreads

When I think back to those high school days when I used to shred certain people, all I can say is that it was kind of like the French revolution: things just got out of hand.

#TinyThreads

Did you know they card you for non-alcoholic beer?

This at a Trader Joe’s no less.

Also, this wasn’t even for me – I hate beer, with or without alcohol in it.

#TinyThreads