Suzie recently remarked that I would be good at living a rich life (such as illustrated by this recent Raffles Boston experience) as I’d appreciate all the beauty and opulence of such an existence. I was like, well DUH. Until such time that Andy’s big lottery win comes in, however, I’ll have to find the willpower to live far outside the realm of that opulence. I’ve done it for fifty years, and I can do it for another fifty. Still, let’s manifest that windfall in the likely event that I simply tire out. Happens to the best of us. In the meantime, a fun Sabrina Carpenter bop to ponder:
I like a few of the cuts from Ms. Carpenter’s latest album, and this one reads on so many levels it approaches the brilliance of Madonna’s double-entendre-laced early days.
My man on his willpower is something I don’t understand He fell in love with self-restraint, and now it’s getting out of hand He used to be literally obsessed with me I’m suddenly the least sought-after girl in the land Oh, my man on his willpower is something I don’t under-, something I don’t understand
My man on his willpower is something I don’t understand He fell in love with self-restraint, and now it’s getting out of hand He used to be literally obsessed with me I’m suddenly the least sought-after girl in the land Oh, my man on his willpower is something I don’t under-, something I don’t understand
A time capsule within a time capsule: this entry is from 2005’s Divine Diva Tour, but this song jumps back another decade to 1996, when Suzie and I (and our Moms) found ourselves at the celebrated Broadway revival of ‘Chicago’ featuring Ann Reinking and Bebe Neuwirth. I wore a shirt of silver thread in a leopard pattern, with a long-tailed black tuxedo jacket; Suzie was probably in cargo pants. We took in the phenomenon of classic theatrical showbiz pizzazz, and escaped our college-age concerns with a bit of the old razzle dazzle…
About a decade later, this song formed the backdrop to the photos seen here from The Divine Diva Tour Book: A Fairy’s Tale. A bad wig can work wonders when placed atrociously and artfully enough – in disarray it tells even more sordid tales of debauchery and treachery…
Give ’em the old razzle dazzle Razzle dazzle ’em Give ’em an act with lots of flash in it And the reaction will be passionate Give ’em the old hocus pocus Bead and feather ’em How can they see with sequins in their eyes? What if your hinges all are rusting? What if, in fact, you’re just disgusting? Razzle dazzle ’em And they’ll never catch wise!
Give ’em the old razzle dazzle Razzle dazzle ’em Give ’em a show that’s so splendiferous Row after row will crow vociferous Give ’em the old flim flam flummox Fool and fracture ’em How can they hear the truth above the roar? Throw ’em a fake and a finagle They’ll never know you’re just a bagel Razzle dazzle ’em And they’ll beg you for more!
This September is said to be a banner month for us Virgos, with a couple of eclipses and favorable moons, and whether or not I believe in such astrological magic, I’ll welcome whatever positive transformation this month has in store for me. The past few months have been rough and tumble here, and for the first time in a long while I was beginning to think that maybe I was the problem – and I’m perfectly willing to acknowledge my failings and shortcomings, but this summer I’m not taking any of the blame. Let the hits keep on coming, because we all know only the truth stands in the end. Virgos always have the receipts; contrary to popular belief, we don’t always like having to search them out and prove others wrong but when one is attacked, that sort of defense is sometimes necessary. Let’s have a song to clear the air and wash away any lingering doubt that hell hath no fury like a Virgo wronged.
You talk about life, you talk about death And everything in between Like it’s nothing and the words are easy
You talk about me, you talk about you And everything I do Like it’s somethin’ that needs repeating
I don’t need an alibi Or for you to realize The things we left unsaid Are only taking space up in our heads
Make it my fault, win the game Point the finger, place the blame And curse me up and down Doesn’t matter now
‘Cause I don’t care if I ever talk to you again This is not about emotion I don’t need a reason not to care What you say, or what happened in the end This is my interpretation And it don’t, don’t make sense
Fall is the time when I tend to clean up the messes that I let go in summer – and there are several family items that float to the top of that clean-up list, if only to let things go and truly move forward. That means a weighty therapy session this week which might result in additional therapy sessions, and that’s ok. Therapy has been one of the most helpful tools I’ve had in navigating this treacherous mid-life region. I recommend it to everyone.
The first two weeks turn into ten I hold my breath and wonder when it’ll happen It doesn’t really matter
If half of what you said is true And half of what I didn’t do could be different Would it make you better?
If we forget the things we know Would we have somewhere to go? The only way is down I can see that now
‘Cause I don’t care if I ever talk to you again This is not about emotion I don’t need a reason not to care What you say, or what happened in the end This is my interpretation And it don’t, don’t make sense
Fall will also likely be the time when things are brought into unflinching and unforgiving light – and it’s not going to be cruel or cutting, it’s not going to be hurtful or hateful – it’s going to be honest and true. Like the song says, this is not about emotion – and if there’s one thing I’ve learned being raised by two scientifically-minded medical people, it’s how to be cooly analytical when it comes to making your way through this mad world. My Virgo nature lapped that up, and for fifty years I’ve run with it.
It’s really not such a sacrifice
Perhaps those first fifty years were the practice run-through, and we are beginning all over again now – and now is when it counts. Now is when it matters. And if I don’t care…
If I ever talk to you again This is not about emotion I don’t need a reason not to care What you say, or what happened in the end This is my interpretation And it don’t, don’t make sense
And it don’t have to make no sense to you at all ‘Cause this is my interpretation.
Take flight, my fine fairy friends, and let us again be carefree, without worry or concern, riding on the winds of fantasy and make-believe… Goodbye cruel world! Farewell wicked place!! Adieu, adieu… to you and you and you…
Rush me ghost you see Every centre my home Fever steam girl Throb the oceans Your candy perfume girl You’re a candy perfume girl You’re a candy perfume girl
From the same wondrous ‘Our Time in Eden’ album that brought us the glory of ‘These Days’ comes the other hit single from that collection, ‘Candy Everybody Wants’. It forms the penultimate entry of this section of The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale, in which everything that seemed so sweet and lovely reveals a sickly, bloody underbelly. The scarlet lollipop melts into hemoglobin, the bracelets of candy bind your wrists together, and a necklace of Necco wafers works its ancient Latin language, choking you out with a death-clutch. And all the while, we eat it up. Try one, swallow some…
The music bounces along happily, the bursts of horns, the jangling guitars, the occasional ‘Hey!’s of Natalie Merchant – and it sounds for a moment like everything is gonna be all right. But it isn’t, is it? It will never be right again, and that’s one of the underlying themes of melancholy that pulls this song down from its lofty pop perch.
So their eyes are growing hazy Cos they wanna turn it on So their minds are soft and lazy, well Hey hey give ’em what they want
Ahh Candice… haven’t we all been you before? Most of us get it out of the way in our youth when we stand a chance of getting away with it. During the time of The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale, I was well beyond my Candice era, but the scars were still with me, and the damages we inflict upon ourselves will never be topped by anyone else.
A deceptively sweet turn in The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale arrives in this delicious post, in which I implore you to try some… eat one… you know you want to lick it…
I know a guy who’s tough but sweet He’s so fine, he can’t be beat He’s got everything that I desire Sets the summer sun on fire I want candy… I want candy
Our tour book is about to take its irrevocable plummet, but the first part of the slide down is so sweet and sugary, you let it all happen because it tastes so good, even when you know it’s bad for you…
Go to see him when the sun goes down Ain’t no finer boy in town You’re my guy, you’re what the doctor ordered So sweet, you make my mouth water I want candy… I want candy… Yeah!
Candy on the beach, there’s nothing better But I like candy when it’s wrapped in a sweater Some day soon, I’ll make you mine Then I’ll have candy all the time I want candy I want candy I want candy…
Back in 1989, it was more of a wish to go back in time just a couple of months, to the start of the summer – the summer before high school, when everything would change.
If I could turn back time If I could find a way I’d take back those words that have hurt you And you’d stay
I don’t know why I did the things I did I don’t know why I said the things I said Pride’s like a knife, it can cut deep inside Words are like weapons, they wound sometimes
I didn’t really mean to hurt you I didn’t wanna see you go I know I made you cry, but baby
If I could turn back time If I could find a way I’d take back those words that have hurt you and you’d stay If I could reach the stars, I’d give ’em all to you Then you’d love me, love me like you used to do (If I could turn back time)
Cher’s video for this single caused an uproar worthy of Madonna’s typical fare at the time. (See ‘Like A Prayer‘ or ‘Express Yourself’.) I happened to love it – the outfit, the big-ass boat canons, and the sailors – all those excited sailors… I’d lose my gay virginity to a sailor many years later on the Mississippi River, but that’s a story that doesn’t need to be retold right now.
My world was shattered, I was torn apart Like someone took a knife and drove it deep in my heart When you walked out that door, I swore that I didn’t care But I lost every thing, darlin’, then and there
Too strong to tell you I was sorry Too proud to tell you I was wrong I know that I was blind, and darlin’
If I could turn back time If I could find a way I’d take back those words that have hurt you and you’d stay If I could reach the stars, I’d give ’em all to you Then you’d love me, love me like you used to do, ohh
If I could turn back time (if I could turn back time) If I could turn back time (if I could turn back time) If I could turn back time, oh, baby
Glamour, grit, genius, and grace are sometimes not enough to stop the tragedy that an artist will occasionally bring upon themselves. We court extremes – love and hate, happiness and sorrow, life and death – and there is little room for calm when there is no peaceful midpoint.
Easy living? The stuff of dreams…
Living for you is easy living It’s easy to live when you’re in love And I’m so in love There’s nothing in life but you
I never regret the years I’m giving They’re easy to give when you’re in love I’m happy to do whatever I do for you
For you, maybe I’m a fool But it’s fun People say you rule me with one Wave of your hand Darling, it’s grand They just don’t understand
Living for you is easy living It’s easy to live when you’re in love And I’m so in love There’s nothing in life but you
Careening toward the darker final section of The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale, this entry finds a brief respite of glamour and sparkle, courtesy of bugle beads and sequins, and a backing track from the musical ‘Applause!’ Hit it…
I’m not at all mad about the fact that the release of a new Taylor Swift album has become the world-shaking event that a new Madonna album used to be. Considering that Taylor has released about four albums – one a full-on double – in the time since Madonna’s last album, along with several re-recorded Taylor’s Version reprises, she earns the accolades. On October 3, the next era of Ms. Swift begins, with the release of ‘The Life of a Showgirl’. I’m already hooked, thanks to its fertile visual possibilities, the orange and turquoise aesthetic, and the glitzy promise of some Max Martin bangers.
While we eagerly await the first single and whatever musical breadcrumbs she will be dropping for us to follow, here’s a list of some previous notable blog posts featuring Ms. Swift:
One of the great summer songs that has dominated many a sunny season for me is ‘No Woman, No Cry’. Aside from its unheralded and likely-unintended reading as a gay male anthem (no woman, no cry – get it?) it carries the great message that “everything’s gonna be all right” like a meditative mantra – the ideal attitude for such troubling times. My friend Chris introduced me to this one in the summer of 1997, when neither of us had a woman or a real reason to cry, but it didn’t stop us from feeling all the things a 22-year-old could feel.
Looking back, I realize how lucky we were, and what a quaint time it was – not only in our specific lives, but in the world as a whole. We had only just begun exploring and living on our own – everything felt so much more profound and powerful than it would ever feel again. Thankfully, part of me knew that, and I understood on some level that those days would become the best days as life advanced and responsibilities shifted.
Our island summer is quickly dwindling – the first week of August has already come and gone – and the days are only growing shorter. (We recently passed the last day that the sun will set after 8 PM – that won’t happen again until next May – a depressingly long time from now.) I don’t want to use the ‘F’ word, but fall is indeed right around the corner. For now, let’s slow things down as much as we can. The weather looks to be hot and sunny in the days ahead – I will take that as my cue to continue the idea and attitude of island living, and remain remote and distant from all the real cares of the world. There will be time enough to address them when the wind changes…
Expanding upon the musical renaissance that began with ‘Take My Bow’, Jim Verraros releases an EP of new music that fans have been salivating for since ‘Take My Bow’ and ‘Pyramid‘ brought him so spectacularly back to the musical scene. ‘Explicit’ looks to skyrocket on that cheeky dance-floor trajectory, with a few sizzling remixes, as well as several brand new songs. As Verraros continues to edge us with these glorious drip-release burners, the hope for a full-length album still burns brightly – for now, ‘Explicit’ gives us fans something substantial to swallow until that dream comes to fruition.
The most hilarious entry of The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale is at hand – at least the most hilarious in my estimation – and it comes just when we need to laugh. You may have found humor in other entries, but this one speaks hilarity and social commentary on a multitude of levels. It was my tribute to the frazzled homemaker trope, a role I’d semi-jokingly taken on with a previous boyfriend, and one that I tried to imbue with comical accents. So much of what I did back then was lugubriously earnest – this was a silly breath of fresh air, and a totally different type of diva.
I feel pretty, Oh, so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and bright, And I pity Any girl who isn’t me tonight.
Take note of the ironing accoutrements on hand: the standard bottle of Niagara spray starch for authenticity. The can of Coors Light in the starch cap cozy. The bottle of Alize for class. And the crock of Cool Whip and bag of potato chips for the munchies.
I feel charming, Oh, so charming, It’s alarming how charming I feel, And so pretty That I hardly can believe I’m real.
Then there’s the intentionally-awful underwear in need of ironing.
See the pretty girl in that mirror there, Who can that attractive girl be? Such a pretty face, Such a pretty dress, Such a pretty smile, Such a pretty me!
Let’s not get into the hair, the shower cap, and the outfit…
I feel stunning And entrancing, Feel like running and dancing For joy, For I’m loved by a pretty wonderful boy!
And let’s definitely leave that make-up alone… for good and forever.
This is divinity of a different order: the divinity of laughter and ridiculousness.
