The most hilarious entry of The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale is at hand – at least the most hilarious in my estimation – and it comes just when we need to laugh. You may have found humor in other entries, but this one speaks hilarity and social commentary on a multitude of levels. It was my tribute to the frazzled homemaker trope, a role I’d semi-jokingly taken on with a previous boyfriend, and one that I tried to imbue with comical accents. So much of what I did back then was lugubriously earnest – this was a silly breath of fresh air, and a totally different type of diva.
I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and bright,
And I pity
Any girl who isn’t me tonight.
Take note of the ironing accoutrements on hand: the standard bottle of Niagara spray starch for authenticity. The can of Coors Light in the starch cap cozy. The bottle of Alize for class. And the crock of Cool Whip and bag of potato chips for the munchies.
I feel charming,
Oh, so charming,
It’s alarming how charming I feel,
And so pretty
That I hardly can believe I’m real.
Then there’s the intentionally-awful underwear in need of ironing.
See the pretty girl in that mirror there,
Who can that attractive girl be?
Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me!
Let’s not get into the hair, the shower cap, and the outfit…
I feel stunning
And entrancing,
Feel like running
and dancing
For joy,
For I’m loved by a pretty wonderful boy!
And let’s definitely leave that make-up alone… for good and forever.
This is divinity of a different order: the divinity of laughter and ridiculousness.
~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~
- Pink Frilly Fairy: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three
- Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
- A Purple-Hued Interlude
- Style & Panache: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
- Purple Puff Confection: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
- A Blue-Hued Interlude
- Fuchsia Fabulousness: Part One. Part Two and Part Three.
- Bad Boy Bangs: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
- Vanity Under Where: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
- Sugar Plum Ballerina: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
- A Pool Frolic: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
- A Cemetery Interlude: Part One and Part Two.
- Powder Blue Fur Doll: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
- A Milky Interlude
- Rock Out, Cock Out/ Hang Out, Wang Out: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
- Cocktail Cocktale: Part One and Part Two.
- A Fairy’s Interlude: Part One and Part Two.
- Willy Wonkers: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
- A Peacock In Everything But Beauty: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.
- Swan Lake Fantasia: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.
- Black & White in Briefs: Part One, Part Two. and Part Three.
- Weave of Basket, Weave of Rope: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, and Part Five.
- Chains of Gray to Color: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
- Black Jockstrap: Back Entry: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
- Super Fairy Interlude: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
- American Psychology: Part One and Part Two.
- Jocks & Frocks: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
- Wigging Out Interlude
- Shedding Selves & Beating Oneself Up: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.
