Author Archives: Alan Ilagan

When a bank calls you at 8 o’clock in the morning, asking if you can get in touch with a former family member that you haven’t seen in at least a year, someone may not be living their best life (allegedly).

(I don’t want to write a long-ass post about this, much as everyone would want to read it… so hopefully my name won’t be connected to this person in the future.)

#TinyThreads

You sometimes don’t realize how much the quiet people are part of our holiday traditions and histories until they’re not there. Dad was one such person, choosing mostly to stay to himself in the family room, watching his OTB and perusing his papers while the rest of us went about our holiday antics. He’d join us for dinner, and gift opening, but even there he was often quiet, blending into the background and going through the motions. At the time, I didn’t understand it, and wanted him to be more present; now I see things very clearly his way, and very much relate to wanting to be a quiet but not wholly participatory in the mayhem. All that noise, noise, noise… the Grinch wasn’t wrong about everything.

As I got older, and especially in the last few years he was cognizant and aware of what was going on, I would tend to spend more time next to him. Not actively talking or taking part in his betting operation, but just to be out of the line of sensory overload. He had a calming aura to him, despite his occasional outbursts, and I sensed a kindred spirit there that I never quite appreciated when I was a kid. I miss that.

The other morning a pair of cardinals insistently made themselves known in the seven son’s flower tree. As I sat working at the dining room table, they fluttered and flew – bright bits of scarlet in the sky and in the branches. I wondered what they wanted me to understand, what message they brought from their world to mine.

I still don’t know.

It has come to my attention that very few people saw my first Christmas Wish List when I put it up early here for everyone’s convenience, so I’m re-upping it, with a few new additions since there is still time to order anything based on how good I’ve been this year in the face of such adversity. (There’s also my Amazon wish list here, still in effect.)

We begin with the latest Tom Ford Private Blend – ‘Figue Erotique’ found here – which sounds extremely promising given my penchant for all things fig, and somewhat prohibitive given the exorbitant price tag – I’d settle for a 30 ml size to blunt that edge.

Let’s continue more reasonably, with this stripped cashmere sweater on a super sale at Macy’s right now – a size medium should suffice. For some holiday flare, rustic-style, there is this Weatherproof Vintage plaid shirt, in medium.

I’m a sucker for a duster, and this one in turquoise and gold velvet from Soft Surroundings is simply too dreamy; a size XL would work well. I can see this helming a winter dinner party with a few select guests, and you can totally see me in it too.

Not that I need a portal to any more fragrance opportunities, but of late I’ve been obsessed with the House of Amouage, which has a sampler set on sale at Jomashop here. (And there’s a full bottle of this banger on a big sale right now.) Is it reasonable?

Nothing is reasonable at the holidays. That’s what makes them so special.

These blog posts are getting away from me – as is this holiday season – and I’m taking it all with a lighter touch. Laughter induces warmth, so I’ve been embracing the silliness at hand now, the absurdity of life, and all the things that once annoyed and bothered me to the point where I simply had to speak out are now fodder for chuckles and giggles. Nothing worth getting upset over, and no harm to anyone other than myself when I overthink them.

In a fall season that found things getting entirely too serious, when a darker turn of the world and the people I knew in it caused consternation and concern, I found myself in the unaccustomed role of empath, and that’s just not a role I’m equipped to handle. Nothing personal, and that’s really the best way to move through the world right now – not personally.

Truth, even unto its innermost parts.

Truth outs in the end.

Even in the holidays.

Yes, the holidays! Oh snap!

Unbeknownst to you until I explain it in this very moment, I’ve started my second notebook of ramblings since returning to this cafe culture method of writing, old-school-style. Part of the first notebook, and this one as well, surely, is filled with rough ideas and passages for a new project. My whiskers are receptive to new notions on the coming winter wind, and once we switch from holiday mode to the New Year, work on that will take precedence over much else. Until then, we have Mr. Oud to make his holiday rounds before – POOF! – he disappears into the ether region.

A word of warning for those who have enjoyed Mr. Oud’s occasional presence and his fall theme: when he goes away, he won’t say good-bye or stand on any sort of ceremony. He’s an Irish farewell kind of guy even on the most connected day – to expect a fanfare for departure is foolishness bordering on willful stupidity. Do better with your anticipatory ideas! Hmmph!!!! All right, or maybe it’s all wrong, whatever the case, it’s time to end this post, and I’ve reached the bottom of the first page of this new notebook – a very good place to stop.

Here we are – the high holiday season – and we are deep in it already. This past weekend I was in Boston, and whether or not there was a holiday stroll will have to remain quiet until I wrote those posts – and they will be… something. But I’m jumping ahead – let’s do our weekly look-back at the week of the Cold Moon...

A season that starts in silence rarely stays that way.

It’s grey sweatpants season too.

There’s only one AI, and I was here first.

Here, hear, Christmas cheer!

I believe the children are the future.

Cafe culture incongruity.

A winter warlock’s wisdom.

A very Dorothy Parker day.

An unimaginatively-named full moon.

A cozy snowy day in Troy with Lea Salonga.

It may be time to focus on my nails again.

Holiday Bois by Tom Ford.

My very first holiday photo card.

Stop. Fucking. With. The. Virgos.

Mr. Oud and his velvet robe.

My very second holiday photo card.

Candlelight shines during the day too.

Bad Bunny does Christmas in his underwear.

Dazzlers of the Day included Paul Tazewell and Dominique Crenn.