A Pink Plaid Speedo

Perhaps this closing attire for the summer of 2024 isn’t quite as demure as recent catchphrases would beg for it to be, but it’s a fitting final wardrobe for another summer of the speedo, which was celebrated in banging fashion at this year’s Olympic Games. All of that is to come with tomorrow’s summer recap, so this is just a holding place until then, where one can wade in the still-warm water of a pool that didn’t get used as much as it deserved. Some summers start out gloriously, then ripen into something darker and heavier than what might have originally been planned. Such was the case this year, but I’m getting ahead of myself, and the purpose of this post is to pause, take in the pool, and squeeze into this silly pink plaid speedo one more time – it is, after all, our coquette summer. (Stick with me, it comes off in the end…)

I’ll save the nostalgic look-back for tomorrow’s big post – for now, let’s have a moment in the water, as the sweetly-perfumed blossoms from the seven sons’ flower tree fall charmingly into the pool – an echo of the pale pink petals of the flowering cherry that greeted the season back when it all began. It feels long ago, the way summer can be a lifetime if you know how to manage it and make it matter. I’m not sure I did that, but I’m worn down and worn out by everything this last month or so has brought, and in the words of a vapid weirdo wife, I really don’t care, do u?

What summer wrought, fall will reckon, and while there may not be any Speedo-clad clickbait – this skimpy attire not being quite conducive for autumn weather in the Capital Region – there will be secrets spilled, and things are going to get so messy you’ll want to revisit just to see how well, or unwell, I try to hang onto my sanity. I’ve given myself leeway to go a little crazy this fall, because when you’re on the cusp of 50, you’ve earned it. You also find yourself entirely out of fucks to give, and there is such glee in that it will make up for whatever other horrors may, and likely will, transpire here. 

Well, I failed in having that promised pool moment, and have instead delve into an unplanned fall preview of what’s to come. Maybe it’s for the best – the sooner we begin, the sooner it will be over. Come back for one more day of summer, and then get ready to go dark… 

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Andy’s Towering Eggplant

Fresh off the culinary success of Andy’s take on fried green tomatoes, he went back into the kitchen to craft this insane tower of fried eggplant, interspersed with burrata, balsamic glaze, and fresh basil. We first had something like this at Angelina’s Restaurant in Ogunquit, Maine – and it was a welcome revelation. We went back there several times just for this dish. 

As we’re currently under the semi-annual spell of the deep fryer (we can only bring it out two or three times a year or we’d have heart attacks and die) it’s been a week of fried glory – next up is fried okra, courtesy of Suzie’s vegetable garden. 

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Nakedly Harnessing a Full Harvest SuperMoon

Did you ever feel possessed by something so beyond your control that you found yourself simply going through motions like a puppet? On the night of the full Harvest Supermoon, just as the lunar eclipse was about to begin, I was writing a few blog posts in the attic – this being one of them – when I remembered the astrological event that was ensuing. Wearing a short white robe, and nothing else, I found myself walking past Andy into the backyard to see if I could see the moon.

Over the house, I spied her nestled in the boughs of a pine tree. She would be more visible from the front yard, so I went back inside and walked through the living room, unlocking the front door and quietly stepping outside. 

Above the trees, she shone in radiant form, picking up the haze of the night and putting forth a glow that lit the entire sky. Entranced, I stole a few grainy pictures with my phone, then rushed back inside. I paused there, and again the only word I can think of to describe my state of mind – which was really less a state and more a complete absence of any state of mind whatsoever – was ‘possessed’ – not demonically, not maniacally, not whimsically – simply possessed by some spirit or entity that was not myself. I write this now fully aware of what I had done, but at the moment I don’t recall knowing what I was doing.

Setting the phone down on the dining room table, I slowly turned around and went back to the front door, unlocking it again. The night chirped with the music of crickets and frogs, and the moon hovered over all, casting its wondrous light on the front yard. My eyes adjusted to the dim setting, while the moon’s light seemed to grow stronger. I untied the robe from around my waist and hung it on the front door handle, then walked into the moonlight completely naked. Turning around and letting it bathe all of me, I caught a glimpse of my shadow thrown upon the house. I watched to see if it would do anything that I was not doing, but it would not be tricked into revealing whether it was indeed separate from my own self, and I was content merely to let it remind me that I was still here. 

I cannot say what happened to me in those moments of nakedness beneath the full Harvest moon. Obviously, or not so obviously perhaps, I didn’t turn into a werewolf. I felt no immediate change or alteration of what I had always felt myself to be, though there was an energy and vague sense of electricity in the air when I stood there; that could have largely been imagined – the mind leading the body. But I do feel slightly different, like I’ve just crossed an abstract line of demarcation that separates what was from what will be. That too could be imagined, as well as it being any given moment on any given day. Still, that Harvest moon comes but once a year, and maybe whatever I might have harnessed or harvested will be revealed in the months to come. 

For now, I watch the minute hand of the clock, and I can see it moving, as if time is suddenly speeding up, as if it wasn’t going fast enough already…

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Dew Drop Bop

Drops of dew dot these wildflowers at the tail-end of summer. Nights and mornings are just starting to feel a bit like fall. Not mad about it. Not thrilled about it either. The general mood of ennui at this particular moment. Desperately seeking inspiration. 

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The Night Before a Harvest

Whispers of the full Harvest Supermoon had grown over the days leading up to it. I actually avoided much of the talk until the insanity of work and the idiocy of the drivers on the road made me wonder whether something was astrologically afoot, at which point I asked Andy and he confirmed that a supermoon was on the way. 

I’ve never done well with super moons. They’ve resulted in some vicious arguments, some semi-intentional accidents, and some dastardly set-backs over the years. Only recently have I begun to embrace them, turning that lunar insanity from chaotic lunacy into focused moon energy, trying to harness the power and the pull of our nearest heavenly body. Tonight’s blog post will reveal how I literally did that.

For now, these blurry shots of the moon were taken the night before it went full and super and eclipsed. There is often magic and madness in the lead-up and lead-out of a full moon moment. Such energy is too great to be contained in a single night, and the universe doesn’t like to put too fine a point on such things.  Come back tonight to see how the actual Harvest Moon played out

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Troubled Skies

Clouds gather in the sky between Vermont and New York – a visually-arresting crux affording only a glimpse of the blue sky that spread across most of the day. Troubling clouds, perhaps, more for the spirit than any following rain – for the rain stays away. The sunlight seems to be drawing it up into the sky, and still nothing comes of it. Tease. Portending preview. Harbinger of hell…

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Painted Ladies

A certain femininergy is coming to the blog this fall, as we look to right the world with the hope of women, because men seem to do most of the fucking up these past few centuries. To that end, look for a celebration of the female here, and a celebration of everything divine. That began in no small way with my friend Suzie who was kind enough to drive me out to Vermont for this rollercoaster of a day trip. She reminded me of the difficult balancing act of being a mother. That’s never been lost on me, as complicated as things may occasionally be. Yet let us also remember the words of Leo Tolstoy in the epic ‘Anna Karenina’: “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”

I would go further to say that every family has their secrets, even and especially the happy ones.

But that’s all for fall – we are still in the throes of the final days of summer, so we take it all with a laugh and lilt and a humorous peek at some of the ladies we happened across during our day in Vermont. A little spooky, a little kooky, and maybe just a little bit coquette. Summer exits with dramatic flair and ghostly sighs

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A Summer Day in Vermont with Suzie

It was slated to be our pre-fall pow-wow to welcome the upcoming season, but summer decided to stick around in full-sun force, so our recent day-trip to Vermont turned into a celebration of this last week of the sunny season. A simple folding fan in my hand was enough as Suzie was kind enough to drive us into Manchester, where we’ve started a little fall/almost-fall tradition of a Vermont day-trip get-away. Both of us seemed to be in need of escapism, and so we made our way over the rolling hills of New York and into the instantly-more-picturesque environs of Vermont. 

We got some serious family talk out of the way first – Suzie is always a safe sounding board, and she knows me and my family better than just about anyone. She also just sent her first-born off to college and had her own stories to tell; there’s no better way to get through a moment of melancholy than with an old friend. We’ve been doing this for decades, and it’s one of life’s greatest comforts. 

We made our usual stops at favored haunts, pausing for a lunch of crab toast and pizza before finding our way to an ice cream store that had the best thing we have tasted in years: the maple creamee. It’s a soft-serve version of a twist on maple syrup ice cream. I should have prefaced this proclamation with the fact that I don’t typically like maple candy – it’s usually too sweet for me – but for whatever reason this hit us as incredibly delicious. I’d even gone the extra step of ordering mine in a root beer float, completely at odds with someone who doesn’t like things too sweet – and yet this was insanely good. We are going back this fall just to eat it again. 

Stuffed with all the sweet goodness Vermont had to offer – forget warm apple cider on a day soaring into the 80’s – we packed it back in the car and made our winding way back home. It wasn’t the quaint entry into fall I’d originally planned and anticipated – it was instead a hot and happy ending of summer, the way life can sometimes reward us when we let our stubborn notions go and follow its gentle guidance. 

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Uncle Jack Off

Procured from the internet:

Dear people who type in all lowercase,

We are the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse. 

Sincerely,

Capital Letters

 

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Five Chest-Baring Men

There are afternoons, such as during a full-moon day, when a blog post is aimed simply at gleaning hits and superficial admiration. This is very much one such afternoon, and here are five gentlemen who have graced these blog pages in various stages of shirtlessness over the years. It begins with the talented Ncuti Gatwa, who was named Dazzler of the Day in this scintillating spread

Following that sublime act is Chris Salvatore, who is no stranger to these pages – in fact, he’s been here so often let’s just give you a bulleted list for those who want more, more, more

* Chris Salvatore Naked

* Chris Salvatore in Underwear

* Chris Salvatore in more Underwear

* Chris Salvatore as Dazzler of the Day – One

* Chris Salvatore as Dazzler of the Day – Two

Veering deeper into musical territory, Charlie Puth has been baiting those thirsty for more skin, and this blog is always here for it. See Charlie as Dazzler of the Day here, or joining this shirtless brigade.  

Travis Kelce is back on the football field after a summer of Taylor Swift concerts (lucky duck). See his crowning as Dazzler of the Day here.

Last and gloriously far from least John Duff brings a cheeky ending to the naked proceedings as only he could. See his turn as Dazzler of the Day here and then click on this even hotter spread of drool-worthy pics

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Four Rabbits Or So

I didn’t see the second one at first.

The first was apparent and I was zooming in on it.

Only after I opened the window to the backyard did I see the second one, thanks to its immediate bolting out of the vicinity when it heard the window squeak open. 

Two rabbits were making the most of these glorious last few summer days. If you look in the shadow beneath the lawn chair, you’ll see what I later realized I had captured before scaring it away with the window. 

I watched the remaining one for a while – it’s good for the heart to hold still in these last moments of summer, especially when the sun is so lovely and so warm, and a rabbit is pausing to pay its respects too. At this point the garden is in need of some editing and cutting back, so any help the rabbits want to provide in munching on leaves is fine by me. 

As I closed the window to the backyard, I wandered to the front door before sitting down for y daily meditation. There were two more rabbits there. Could they be the same ones from the back? Unlikely, as they seem to have been there a while based on their peaceful and slow grazing on the grass. But who knows… rabbits are magical creatures, and I wouldn’t put it past them to try to trick me in such a whimsical manner

Here, too, the last rays of the day’s sunshine drenched their endeavors, summer hanging on to the very last minute, perhaps showing fall how nice it can be when things are done gently. The preponderance of rabbits is also a boon to my soul when it needs something enriching. It was a happy end to the last Monday of summer. 

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#TinyThreads: An Insignificant Series

Sometimes there are deep thoughts that pop up at odd times during a day. 

Like how did people discover or come up with certain things, such as carbonated water. Who thought of that and made it happen? Did someone get a load of sea foam and think, “We need more of that and in a form we can drink!”

As someone once said, I have to think these things up.

#TinyThreads

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The Summer of John Duff

Forget Taylor Swift.

Forget Chappell Roan.

Forget Kesha’s damnably catchy ‘Joyride’

This summer’s greatest guilty pleasure in my happily-cloistered world was John Duff, who started the season off with the glorious ‘Be Your Girl’, kept things hot with follow-up ‘Forgotten How To F@ck‘ and is now coasting through the end of the season with ‘Hoe Is Life’ featuring the legendary Lillias White. He spent the summer traveling and performing, from Pride shows in Chicago and New York to a celebrated residency in Provincetown, and his music has made an ideal soundtrack to the sunny season. Stay tuned for his upcoming ‘Clothes Back On’ to see how he enters the fall. 

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A Summer-Salvaging Moment by Andy

When we visited Savannah several years ago, Andy and I had a delicious dish of fried green tomatoes that turned me into a fan. To be fair, I’m a fan of fried anything, even if it’s an unripened tomato, and since then he’s been planning and plotting how to recreate that dish. When we put our fryer into its semi-annual rotation, he found a bag of green tomatoes and set up assembling a summer lunch that recalled and celebrated the best of the season, something of which I’d sort of lost sight and faith

He perfected it without any practice, producing this delicious dish of fried green tomatoes, augmented by a drizzle of balsamic glaze, some burrata, a sprinkling of green onions and some tomato chutney. It was just as good as the original.

It brought back happy memories of Savannah, happy memories of summer, and happy memories of Andy whenever he gets to work in the kitchen. We needed a happy moment here.

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