Tomorrow would have marked my Dad’s 95th birthday, had he lived that long, but 92 was a good run, and we remember and celebrate him a little bit each day since he left. As tomorrow is 9/11, and this site has always gone dark on that day, I’m writing this little tribute a day early, and posting it just before the midnight hour.
An impromptu and unplanned visit to the cemetery revealed the beauty of a September afternoon. Dad was born on what has typically been a beautiful day – a day when summer’s warmth still lingers, but the comforting coolness of fall has seeped into the night to take the edge off. Like me, Dad was a true-blue Virgo – organized, punctual, perfectionist, exacting, critical, and grounded. It served him well, and I learned a great deal from such order, because I saw how easier things could be when executed properly and done well.
At the top of the hill where he rests, a cool breeze blows beneath the afternoon sun. Clouds roll dramatically across the sky and stalks of goldenrod nod in the distance. A patch of wilderness on the edge of the cemetery is littered with wildflowers still in bloom. While the roses have gone, leaving their hips and thorny warnings, purple and pink blooms have taken their place, gorgeously placed against foliage about to fade from chartreuse to yellow – a reverse return to spring’s original color scheme. Nature loves a full circle.
The wind has grown colder, and I don’t mind it. It feels fitting, like a gentle initiation into the fall to come. When I reach down to place my hand on Dad’s name, the dark stone is still quite warm from the sun. It surprises me – I expected it to be cool to the touch. The unlikely heat reminds me that there is still life here, and that Dad is still with me.
While it came out eight years ago, this song is the song that Noah has proclaimed the song of the summer, and since Emi chose the theme to begin the season, it seems fitting that Noah should choose the song as we near the end. The visuals from the video perfectly correspond to our Island Summer, even if it’s been somewhat of a dud. Lyrically, I don’t know about this one… scary what the kids are hearing these days, but maybe every fifty-year-old uncle says that when they’ve rounded the mid-section of life and there is more behind them than ahead.
All this jewelry ain’t no use when it’s this dark It’s my favorite part, we see the lights, they got so far It went too fast, we couldn’t reach it with our arms Wrist on a wrist, a link of charms, yeah Laying, we’re still a link apart It’s like we could die here all young Like we could dye hair all blonde If we could see in twenty twin Twice we could see it ’til the end
This summer definitely had a melancholy vibe to it – transitions, transformations, realizations, reconciliations, resignations – and there’s still a few more weeks of it. For one of the few times, I’m not sorry to see it go, and I’ve already been focused on fall because what’s ahead always has the possibility of being better.
Another possibility exists too, I’m aware. We shall see what we shall see.
A transitional week that somehow managed to be free of tumult, the past septet of days held a rollercoaster of blog posts, and if you happened to have missed any of it, here’s your weekly recap:
After being chewed down to their very roots, these marigolds are a portrait in resilience and courage, coming back from their rodent-inflicted wounds to begin blooming this late in the season. Any new color is appreciated at this point in the garden’s year. Marigolds signify the height of summer – all happiness and bright bonhomie.
I thought I was ready to welcome fall, but if summer wants to linger, who am I to rush her out the door?
“Be silent and listen: have you recognized your madness and do you admit it? Have you noticed that all your foundations are completely mired in madness? Do you not want to recognize your madness and welcome it in a friendly manner? You wanted to accept everything. So accept madness too. Let the light of your madness shine, and it will suddenly dawn on you. Madness is not to be despised and not to be feared, but instead you should give it life…If you want to find paths, you should also not spurn madness, since it makes up such a great part of your nature…Be glad that you can recognize it, for you will thus avoid becoming its victim. Madness is a special form of the spirit and clings to all teachings and philosophies, but even more to daily life, since life itself is full of craziness and at bottom utterly illogical. Man strives toward reason only so that he can make rules for himself. Life itself has no rules. That is its mystery and its unknown law. What you call knowledge is an attempt to impose something comprehensible on life.” ~ Carl Jung
“The first half of life is devoted to forming a healthy ego, the second half is going inward and letting go of it.” ~ Carl Jung
“It is often tragic to see how blatantly a man bungles his own life and the lives of others yet remains totally incapable of seeing how much the whole tragedy originates in himself, and how he continually feeds it and keeps it going.” ~Carl Jung
Having taken the darkened turn and downward spiral into the last act of The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale, we re-enter a sweetly and dangerously delusional moment of dazzling escapism, winding ourselves irrevocably in the inevitable destruction of this character’s world. First conjured twenty years ago, in so many ways the disturbing aspects hinted at then have come to fruition in the wider world since – a sad testament to the timelessness of sorrow and darkness, cloaked in colorful bombast and shiny go-go pants.
Bands of black lace cut the thigh, a fishnet harlequin shades the legs, and a bed of feather boas gives false comfort and deceitful glamour. How can they see with sequins in their eyes?
If there’s one thing we love here, it’s a Renaissance artist keenly invested in reinvention and self-evolution. Enter Erin Harkes and her impressive array of talents and testaments, including today’s Dazzler of the Day crowning. It wasn’t enough for her to conquer the worlds of music, comedy, and performing arts – she had to add publication-savior to that storied resume as well.
Resurrecting the beloved ‘Metroland!’ was a bold and some might claim foolish move, but for those of us who loved and missed an independent alternative focused on the arts and entertainment, it was the act of a savior. Harkes made that bodacious decision to bring ‘Metroland Now’ to the Albany fold, and for those of us who used to eagerly await each new issue this rekindles happy memories of a perhaps-happier time.
Harkes has been at the helm of the revitalized publication since April 2024 (which is the last time she claims to have slept) and the effort she’s put into its relaunch is apparent. With a renewed focus on the music scene of Albany, ‘Metroland Now’ feels reinvigorated and reborn, reconnecting with its original roots; brash, irreverent, and slightly messy, it’s the very thing for this moment of social media mediocrity, and mainstream media’s reluctance to take a stance on anything.
My hat goes off to anyone brave enough to wade into any aspect of publishing these days; my greater admiration is reserved for those who go after a dream and a noble vision with an idea and element of bettering the community around them. That’s the true talent of this Dazzler of the Day.
Harkes is currently setting up to compete in ‘Dancing with the Capitol Region Stars: Battle of the Beats’ to do some fundraising for ‘Metroland Now’ – scheduled for November 1, 2025. Check out her enchanting website here for all the details.
Inspired by Boston’s own Emerald Necklace, Raffles Boston stakes its claim as the epitome of elevated elegance, rising like a sparkling jewel in the Back Bay, offering exemplary luxury and exceptional service. A botanical theme runs throughout the establishment, from the stunning display of orchids, glorious lilies, calla lilies, protea, and foxtail lilies of the Sky Lobby to the elegant rugs and wallpaper with floral accents. Every point of contact with Raffles staff is luminous, designed to make one feel not only welcome, but entirely celebrated. Ideal for the 50th birthday I was quietly celebrating on the night we stayed.
Our Emerald Suite came with a living room, a bedroom, a wet bar, and two bathrooms. Botanical flourishes backed by deep green walls and lit by large windows letting in the Boston sky created a calm and tranquil environment. Lighting, temperature, and window treatments were all controlled by touchpads, and the Emerald Suite also included a Butler Service, which connects you to a staff member who responds to direct texts during your stay.
The bathrooms – ah the bathrooms – were magnificent works of art – the main bathroom featuring a spacious layout with a full shower and full bathtub.
The bathroom was a spa in and of itself (more on the real spa in a moment) and I fell instantly in love with the Guerlain soap and lotion on hand (more on that as well).
The wet bar offered an assortment of goodies, and an excellent space for hosting should one want to welcome guests. It was just Andy and me, which was all we needed.
The second bathroom was near the entryway, and just as elegant as the main one – this time with marble and magnolias – and the kind of lighting that is ideal for selfies (see future posts for those).
It also features Guerlain soap – which brings us to the spa. I wasn’t convinced that anything could approach the amazing spa experience I’d had at the Mandarin Oriental, but we finally have a contender – and it might even surpass that glorious space. With a pool and hot tub, his and hers saunas, steam rooms and ice showers, there is enough to make luxurious wellness a priority – and a destination unto itself.
There is also a Guerlain fragrance bar, which now has me obsessed with that historical perfume house, and dreaming of that Eau Imperiale body wash and lotion.
There are several restaurants and bars on site, including the amazing Amar, where we once enjoyed an anniversary dinner. With so many entertaining options at hand, there’s no need to even step outside of the premises – and given how much I love Boston, that is saying a lot. Happily, the care and consideration the Raffles group has put into their Boston location is apparent at every beautiful turn. Even more impressive than the exquisite design, is the personal service for which Raffles is so rightly renowned. That service is what is so astoundingly good – not overbearing – never overbearing, just exactly what you want, precisely when you want it – and that is what sets this gorgeous place apart from every other space in Boston.
The Japanese anemone is one of the garden plants that signifies the end of summer – but does so in a way that spectacularly celebrates the season, even as it nears its final days. The flowers seen here set the stage for our recap of my Boston birthday weekend, which begins on the blog tomorrow.
Flowers that come into bloom at this late stage of the year are especially precious. Most of us have given up on the gardens at this point – the ferns are largely browned and withered, the cup plant is leaning out of its roped support structure, and only the later hydrangeas and seven sons flower tree are still putting on a show. The Japanese anemone is an important part of keeping the garden going through to the fall.
This September is said to be a banner month for us Virgos, with a couple of eclipses and favorable moons, and whether or not I believe in such astrological magic, I’ll welcome whatever positive transformation this month has in store for me. The past few months have been rough and tumble here, and for the first time in a long while I was beginning to think that maybe I was the problem – and I’m perfectly willing to acknowledge my failings and shortcomings, but this summer I’m not taking any of the blame. Let the hits keep on coming, because we all know only the truth stands in the end. Virgos always have the receipts; contrary to popular belief, we don’t always like having to search them out and prove others wrong but when one is attacked, that sort of defense is sometimes necessary. Let’s have a song to clear the air and wash away any lingering doubt that hell hath no fury like a Virgo wronged.
You talk about life, you talk about death And everything in between Like it’s nothing and the words are easy
You talk about me, you talk about you And everything I do Like it’s somethin’ that needs repeating
I don’t need an alibi Or for you to realize The things we left unsaid Are only taking space up in our heads
Make it my fault, win the game Point the finger, place the blame And curse me up and down Doesn’t matter now
‘Cause I don’t care if I ever talk to you again This is not about emotion I don’t need a reason not to care What you say, or what happened in the end This is my interpretation And it don’t, don’t make sense
Fall is the time when I tend to clean up the messes that I let go in summer – and there are several family items that float to the top of that clean-up list, if only to let things go and truly move forward. That means a weighty therapy session this week which might result in additional therapy sessions, and that’s ok. Therapy has been one of the most helpful tools I’ve had in navigating this treacherous mid-life region. I recommend it to everyone.
The first two weeks turn into ten I hold my breath and wonder when it’ll happen It doesn’t really matter
If half of what you said is true And half of what I didn’t do could be different Would it make you better?
If we forget the things we know Would we have somewhere to go? The only way is down I can see that now
‘Cause I don’t care if I ever talk to you again This is not about emotion I don’t need a reason not to care What you say, or what happened in the end This is my interpretation And it don’t, don’t make sense
Fall will also likely be the time when things are brought into unflinching and unforgiving light – and it’s not going to be cruel or cutting, it’s not going to be hurtful or hateful – it’s going to be honest and true. Like the song says, this is not about emotion – and if there’s one thing I’ve learned being raised by two scientifically-minded medical people, it’s how to be cooly analytical when it comes to making your way through this mad world. My Virgo nature lapped that up, and for fifty years I’ve run with it.
It’s really not such a sacrifice
Perhaps those first fifty years were the practice run-through, and we are beginning all over again now – and now is when it counts. Now is when it matters. And if I don’t care…
If I ever talk to you again This is not about emotion I don’t need a reason not to care What you say, or what happened in the end This is my interpretation And it don’t, don’t make sense
And it don’t have to make no sense to you at all ‘Cause this is my interpretation.
One of the things that I’ve grown to semi-enjoy is a soccer game thanks mostly to my nephew’s participation in the game. He’s graduated to varsity this year, and the Amsterdam High School Boys Team is doing a fundraiser until September 26, 2025. If you’d like to help them out, here is the link to donate; every amount you might spare is appreciated.
We attended a scrimmage this past weekend, and on the big field it was a lot more exciting than the games we’ve been going to at Afrim’s (though that’s a lot closer than Amsterdam for us). It was a sunny late-summer day – the banks of fluffy clouds provided comfortable shade while the game was a good one ending 2-2 (I guess ties are allowed in soccer? I don’t know – after all these years I’m still learning the rules.) Once again, if you want to support the Amsterdam High School Boys Soccer team, please click here and put yourself on their scoreboard. Go Rams!
It may be time to start elongating my daily meditations – a habit I’ve employed previously, especially when the day’s light grows shorter. This seems like a good starting point for September, said to be a banner month for Virgos as we have a solar eclipse on September 21 – just in time for the new fall season. Let’s take a deep breath then, and take stock of this particular present moment.
I was supposed to be in Boston with the twins this weekend, but despite checking with them and confirming multiple times, they still ended up having to cancel due to sport practices or something. It’s been the way things have gone lately – they missed the last few holiday trips to Boston, this spring’s Take Your Kids to Work Day, and I’ve lost count of how many times we’ve invited them over in the last few months with no response. I’m assuming this is the way of teenagers, and nothing to take too personally.
I light a candle from which I will burn a stick of Palo Santo, and its reflection glows in the window looking out into the front yard – a visual trick that somehow still works in the middle of the day. There is magic everywhere when you pause to observe.
Starting September in thoughtful fashion feels like the right place to begin this month of transition. There is some soul-searching to be done – and September is the ideal month to recharge and reinvigorate such spaces. A Virgo leans into fall cleaning with gusto and verve. We love ridding ourselves of excess nonsense and creating a place of peace and calm, and we aren’t afraid to move forward in that pursuit.
Recapping the week I turned fifty seems an apt moment to celebrate the silver-haired circumstances that surround my aura-farming of late. It’s also a good time to pause for a Monday morning blog recap – just because it’s a holiday doesn’t mean the blogging stops here. If anything, we go harder, faster, better, brighter…
Most people prefer the rose in June – and most of me would agree – but one small and important part finds greater beauty in the August rose. They glow differently, because they know they are the last. They are sadder, and sweeter, for it.
Many garden perennials throw out a few blooms before fall arrives in earnest, and though they are usually smaller and less robust than their early summer counterparts, their colors feel richer and more vibrant. I’ve always felt for them a little more.
