Category Archives: Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale

We pause now in our recent posting schedule of The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale, as the weekend comes to a close, and the Oscars ceremony begins. Looking back at what I was creating twenty years ago has been a conflicting experience, and a large part of why I don’t tend to look back at previous projects, especially those that were made so long ago. Comparison is the ultimate thief of joy, and comparison is undoubtedly the first thing that happens when I look back at these photos. 

It’s not that I suddenly notices the ravages of wear and tear on the body – what a difference 29 is from 49 – it’s that I notice the ravages of wear and tear on the mind. While I certainly miss the lithe form and gray-less hair of my twenties, it’s the mindset and innocence, and the loss of which, that pains me the most. Less the physical trappings and more the mental space that youth affords. 

That said, I would not trade the wisdom and knowledge and acceptance I have learned and earned over the years to go back or return to those days. In that respect, the comparison ultimately ends up being a reassuring one, but that’s not always the case, so I shall continue to warn against comparison as a general rule. 

As for looking back, as long as there are more mildly-amused smiles than justifiable-cringing at all my antics and outfits, I can take it without regret. That is something I will count as a success. The posting of this one will continue this weekend, in the meantime, catch up below:

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three
2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
3. A Purple-Hued Interlude
4. Style & Panache: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
5. Purple Puff Confection: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
6. A Blue-Hued Interlude
7. Fuchsia Fabulousness: Part One 

The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale delivers a fabulously frivolous dose of style over substance, so I won’t sully this with my excess verbiage. Quentin says it better than I ever could:

“What a stylist needs is glamour – a far more powerful force than mere prettiness. Glamour exists where something not clearly defined seems to be promised but never given.” ~ Quentin Crisp

“I’m talking about flair, style, elan… even the most wretched of us can do something about them.” ~ Quentin Crisp

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three
2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
3. A Purple-Hued Interlude
4. Style & Panache: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
5. Purple Puff Confection: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
6. A Blue-Hued Interlude

‘Questions in a World of Blue’ would have been the ideal song to accompany this interlude of the Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale – alas, that was already used in this moon-themed post on a lost former-friend. And so we are tasked with the dilemma of finding another blue-themed song to go with this blue-hued interlude. The Blue Danube, Rhapsody in Blue, and Blue Moon – a triumvirate of trite and true blue classics – and all seem too literal, too easy. The Divine Diva Tour is a little more complicated than that, despite what the surface might have you believe. Instead, have a listen to ‘Blue Night’ below, as our interlude brings us further along this fairy’s tale. 

This is the tale of a little boy

who once found wonder everywhere in the world,

but who came to be

Lost in the mirror, enchanted by his own self. 

The embodiment of Narcissus, captivated by his own reflection.

A boy caught up in the superficial, the surface, the appearance of things –

in the ever-shifting kaleidoscope of reflections and images and mirrors – 

always slightly askew and backwards,

reversed and upside down and dizzyingly grand if a little grotesque. 

Nothing was real. All was fantasy,

… no matter how much he was loved…

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three
2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
3. A Purple-Hued Interlude
4. Style & Panache: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
5. Purple Puff Confection: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.

“Do you know that delicious dreamy feeling when one first wakes on a summer morning, with the twitter of birds in the air, and the fresh breeze coming in at the open window – when, lying lazily with eyes half shut, one sees as in a dream green boughs waving, or waters rippling in a golden light? It is a pleasure very near to sadness, bringing tears to one’s eyes like a beautiful picture or poem.” ~ Lewis Carroll

“To rise and forget, in the sunlight, the ugly dreams that frightened you so when all was dark – to rise and enjoy another happy day, first kneeling to thank that unseen Friend, who sends you the beautiful sun?” ~ Lewis Carroll

“‘Dear, dear!’ How queer everything is today! And yesterday things went on just as usual. I wonder if I’ve changed in the night? Let me think: was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I’m not the same, the next question is, Who in the world am I? Ah, that’s the great puzzle!” ~ Lewis Carroll

“The delight we experience when we allow ourselves to respond to a fairy tale, the enchantment we feel, comes not from the psychological meaning of a tale (although this contributes to it) but from its literary qualities – the tale itself as a work of art.

The fairy tale could not have its psychological impact on the child were it not first and foremost a work of art… As with all great art, the fairy tale’s deepest meaning will be different for each person, and different for the same person at various moments in his life.” ~ Bruno Bettelheim

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three
2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
3. A Purple-Hued Interlude
4. Style & Panache: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
5. Purple Puff Confection: Part One, Part Two and Part Three.

The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale continues in its flight, as our fluttering protagonist dons this iconic purple tulle confection, and prances about the verdant landscape like Maria Von Trapp. This particular setting will come into play again in much more dramatic fashion, but for the moment enjoy this drama-free scene, and all of its fairy-tale elements. 

“When I used to read fairy tales, I fancied that kind of thing never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one! There ought to be a book written about me, that there ought! And when I grow up, I’ll write one – but I’m grown up now… at least there’s no room to grow up any more.” ~ Lewis Carroll

“While the fantasy is unreal, the good feelings it gives us about ourselves and our future are real, and these real good feelings are what we need to sustain us.” ~ Bruno Bettelheim

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three
2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
3. A Purple-Hued Interlude
4. Style & Panache: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
5. Purple Puff Confection: Part One and Part Two. 

“Life’s a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death!” ~ Auntie Mame

While I absolutely adore ‘Auntie Mame’, this quote from the movie had bothered and bugged me on my first few viewings, but I think it’s because I was reading and interpreting it incorrectly. Yes, it’s a great soundbite. It’s clipped and blunt and leaves no room for an easy-follow-up, but it always felt like it went against the anti-elitist theme that Mame so vibrantly espouses for much of the story, as in her refusal to let Patrick be stuffed into rigid social constructs, starting with her eschewing of the Bixby School for a more progressive establishment run by an Acacius Page. 

The reading I prefer to take from it is less a ‘let them eat cake‘ moment and more of a ‘let’s celebrate life’ mantra, which makes much more sense of the context of the ‘Live! Live! Live!’ scene in which it takes place. Mame’s own ‘Live and let live’ lifestyle finds acceptance and celebration of everyone regardless of race, religion, background, or social stratification. 

Such is the theme of the Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale, which wound its way around the continental United States twenty years ago, and is finally finding its posting premiere here, for better and largely worse. Still, it’s a fun look-back when the world could be more concerned with such frivolous things because adults were mostly running the country. Now we must escape to those days for sheer emotional survival, clinging to memories of happier and more carefree times, which is one of the main points of the Divine Diva Tour anyway. It all comes together. 

This fun purple confection of a gown, the beaded headdress, and that saucy necklace comprised the opening outfit of ‘The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale’ as we held a kick-off party in the summer of 2005. It remains one of my favorite looks from all the parties we’ve thrown over the years. 

This particular fairy’s tale is about to take a turn into the dreamier woodland forests of a traditional fairy tale, and those woods are filled with as much enchantment as danger – sometimes I think enchantment only finds full fruition when there is an element of risk to be overcome. There’s something sad in that too. 

For now, we sit before our mirrors and fringed lampshades, waiting to be laced up, hoping for this party to match the excitement and glamour we were promised in all those fairy tales growing up…

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three
2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
3. A Purple-Hued Interlude
4. Style & Panache: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.
5. Purple Puff Confection: Part One 

One of the main tenets of the Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale was its essence of escapism, closely aligned with the unassailable and indefatigable notion of persevering and finding fabulousness in troubled times of seeming hopelessness. While that speaks directly to the tragically historical moment in which we now find ourselves, it’s also something my generation of gay men knows too unfortunately well, especially considering how we weathered the AIDS crisis in the 1980’s. 

There are boys just ripe for some kissin’
And I mean to kiss me a few!
Oh, those boys don’t know what they’re missin’
I’ve got a lot of livin’ to do!

Back then, beneath every layer of sparkle and pizzazz, there was an undercurrent of somber melancholy. Loss accompanied most of our revelries, and death was indelibly intertwined with sexual freedom and abandon. No place, and no one, was safe. Growing up under such a traumatizing umbrella takes a certain toll, and coming of age beneath the specter of those early days of the AIDS epidemic wreaked its own emotional havoc with my development.

And there’s wine all ready for tastin’
And there’s Cadillacs all shiny and new!
Got to move, ’cause time is a wasting
There’s such a lot of livin’ to do!

While our heterosexual counterparts had to concern themselves with pregnancies and STDs, gay men had to contend with the very real possibility that having unprotected sex with our partners of choice might result in our death. If I’ve been a prim and proper Victorian lady in the bedroom at times, it stems in good part from having to be so deliberately careful and cautious at a time when I should have been carefree and a little bit reckless.

What did we do?

We cried – for a country that allowed entire swatch of a vibrant community to die. 

We coped – as best as we could whenever it was sanctioned to condemn and hate us. 

We rallied – literally, physically, mentally, socially.

We fought – for basic rights, for equality, for the opportunity to simply exist without being threatened or attacked or killed.

We danced – when we lost everything, we always had the dance, even if it was just in our memory and minds.

And throughout it all, we did our best to live, sometimes just barely surviving, and sometimes not succeeding. 

There’s music to play, places to go, people to see!
Everything for you and me!
Life’s a ball, if only you know it!
And it’s all just waiting for you!
You’re alive, so go on and show it!
There’s such a lot of livin’ to do!

Whenever I have moments of doubt or uncertainty, when I wonder why I should even bother doing something, I think back to those scary days when AIDS was hovering over all of us, when it felt like all we had was each other. It puts all the silliness and frivolity of life into perspective – and I get a tantalizing glimpse of how ridiculous – and absolutely vital – every little bit of life can be. 

Such a lot of livin’ to do!
What a lot of livin’ to do!

{PS – All apologies for the Republican make-up job.}

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three
2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
3. A Purple-Hued Interlude
4. Style & Panache: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four.

In a haze of chiffon, all gauzy with lace, amid light slicing through sheer fantasy, the Divine Diva Tour’s ‘Style & Panache’ section comes to its tantalizing, teasing culmination. Not that anything in the way of release or relief is going to be offered this early in the game – it’s enough to look and never touch. This installment offers a light respite from the heavy things going on in the world right now, so indulge and inhabit this extravagant set of poses, and let me entertain you with all of the following…

“Always make them beg for more… and then don’t give it them.”

The art of the strip-tease is in carefully calculating what the audience thinks they’re seeing, and this isn’t as difficult as one would imagine given one simple and perpetually-true rule: people will see what they want to see. And if they came to see your bits and bobs, they’re damn sure going to see your bits and bobs. You don’t even have to get them out. 

Putting a man in a feather boa, slip, and silk tie is a wink and nod to the almost-invisible line between masculine and feminine – a line that simply never existed in my mind – neither then nor now. It always seemed so arbitrary and silly – one person’s trash is another person’s treasure, right? It speaks to deeper issues today, one that our flight of fancy never intended on addressing. You have your own minds – use them. Be inquisitive, be respectful, be accepting. If it doesn’t directly affect or harm you, what care you? Find your own style and do what you like. 

“What a stylist needs is glamour – a far more powerful force than mere prettiness.” ~ Quentin Crisp

“Glamour exists where something not clearly defined seems to be promised but never given.” – Quentin Crisp

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three
2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
3. A Purple-Hued Interlude
4. Style & Panache: Part One, Part Two and Part Three

Quentin Crisp is largely unknown to the current generation of LGBTQ+ people and it’s a shame. Our history slips slowly away, forgotten and unmentioned by the current crop of Tik-Toking dancers and eaters and time-wasters. I’m too old to care to do much at this point, and I don’t feel any obligation to enlighten people to the joys of a wit too clever and complex for most of them to understand. A lack of curiosity to look into anything indicates a lack of personality, and anyone lacking in personality is not worth knowing. Cultivate something. Research anything. Don’t just stand there, let’s get to it… 

“Style is not the man; it is something better.” ~ Quentin Crisp

“It is a dizzy, dazzling structure that he erects about himself, using as building materials selected elements from his own character.” ~ Quentin Crisp

“Style is not fashion; style is not wealth; style is not learning; style is not beauty.” ~ Quentin Crisp

“Style is the way in which a man can, by taking thought, add to his stature.” ~ Quentin Crisp

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three
2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
3. A Purple-Hued Interlude
4. Style & Panache: Part One and Part Two

THE CHARGES:

Style over substance.

Majesty over meaning.

Enchantment over enrichment. 

Wit over wisdom.

Finery over fortitude. 

THE PLEA:

Grandly,

greatly,

giddily guilty.

Ever since I discovered the power of fashion, and the way it shaped how everyone viewed you, then employed it strategically and deliberately, I’ve been plagued with a reputation of favoring the sartorial over the substantial. Not that I’ve ever bothered to dispel the myth, quite the contrary: when the world thinks what you put on your back is all you have to offer, they never expect to be so diabolically  outsmarted. 

Glamour can be bought,

Style… this must be taught.

I got that style.

When I walk into the room all the people turn their heads to get the perfect view.

It’s just my Style.

It’s my Style to break a heart or two. 
Charm and finesse seem to always get me through.

It’s my Style. 

Style!

A cool, cool style.

Style!

You may ask wherever did I get my sense of style.

A girl like me is just born with it. 

You know I can sweep you off your feet because baby, I am Unique.

It’s my Style.

A cool, cool style. 

Glamour can be bought 

Style ~ this must be taught. 

Here’s one last secret I’ll confess:

How do you win a stylish girl like me?

Well, since I’m always dressed to impress

Buy me something gorgeous…

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three
2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three
3. A Purple-Hued Interlude

There isn’t much room for subtlety or nuance these days. We want everything to be black or white, stringent binary choices with nary room for shades of gray – much less any varying hues of purple. No one wants to enjoy lavender or periwinkle or lilac – they want it red or blue, and if you don’t commit to one or the other they don’t know quite what to do. That’s an unfortunate gaffe on society’s end, one that seems to be getting worse instead of better.

Back in 2005, The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale aimed to offer some space in-between, navigating the vast expanses of beautiful gradient that exist within the extremes, where most of us tend to fall. Things could be brutal and soft at the same time, depending on any number of circumstances and perspectives. One person’s frightening idea of bondage was another’s kink and joy. 

It’s scary to live in such beautifully transient shadows of nuance, and most people want clearly defined realms in which to operate and categorize everyone else. It feels safer that way, even if you can never truly know another person. Compounding the complexity of the whole thing is the way we categorize and order ourselves. We wake up, select our clothing for the day, and, whether we want it to or not, those choices will shade however we move about the world. 

Make your choices wisely.

“It’s important to have a look. A signature. Be someone. So people will remember you. You all think you’re so special. You’re a dime a dozen.There are hundreds, no, thousands of you out there, studying, auditioning, going here, there, hither and yon. You expect people to remember you if you don’t have a look? Po, po, po! I was never arrogant that way. I knew I needed a look and I got one.” ~ Terrence McNally, ‘Master Class’

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three
2. Homage to Herb: Part One, Part Two and Part Three

This shirtless section of The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale comes to a close with this post, but fret not, we’ve only just begun this semi-salacious journey and there is much more to come… In the meantime, a few choice quotations from people who had a better, and much more succinct, way with words than me. 

“Old age and treachery will always beat youth and exuberance.” ~ David Mamet

“I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity.” ~ Albert Einstein

“There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.” ~ Sophia Loren

“Youth is happy because it has the ability to see beauty. Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.” ~ Franz Kafka

“In order to acquire a growing and lasting respect in society, it is a good thing, if you possess great talent, to give, early in your youth, a very hard kick to the right shin of the society that you love. After that, be a snob.” ~ Salvador Dali

“If boyhood and youth are but vanity, must it not be our ambition to become men?” ~ Vincent Van Gogh

~ The Divine Diva Tour: A Fairy’s Tale ~

1. Pink Frilly Fairy: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three
2. Homage to Herb: Part One and Part Two